The Madam & the Horse Master

"Excellent!" she said with a brilliant smile. "Then that is precisely what we will do. What would you suggest first?"

"If you like, I can instruct the ponies in natural horse behavior, then I can show the trainers how to begin schooling them to rein and whip signals as though they were natural horses."

"That sounds perfect. I shall leave all the instructing in your capable hands; the staff has already been told to follow your orders as though they were mine."

"You may want to consider having the rest of the ponies gathered to at least observe the three in the ring as they learn horse behavior, rather that having them learn second hand."

"You do have a valid point, and time is of the essence." The Madam turned to a waiting footman and he left with a short bow. "I have sent for chairs as well as the five other ponies and the two zebras." He nodded. "Observing you will be very educational," she continued. "I can't wait to see what you accomplish. Is there anything else that you might need?"

"Actually, yes." The Horse Master considered his charges. "When it comes time to teach the trainers I will need to explain out loud, what I am doing. The ponies that are being schooled may anticipate commands rather than react to them. Is there a way to keep the ponies being schooled from hearing what I say to the trainers?"

"I believe I have just the thing," said the Madam. "Ear plugs; they will keep the ponies from hearing your instructions. I'll have them applied when you are ready."

"That should do nicely and I see that the rest of my audience has arrived." Four attractive young women in pastel morning gowns and decoratively upswept hair followed by three young men in leisurely, afternoon walking apparel stepped into the room followed by servants with chairs. The Horse Master noticed that two of the young ladies were dark skinned, exotic Africans.

"This is the Horse Master, a Master Whip of Her Majesty's Royal Mews," introduced the Madam. "To improve the accuracy of our Twelfth Night performance, the Horse Master has agreed to coach all our ponies on natural horse behavior and your trainers on schooling you as if you were actual horses." The gathered ponies gazed at him with curiosity and heightened interest. The young ladies pulled out fans and fluttered them coyly.

"My dear Horse Master," said the Madam, "may I present the rest of the ponies that you will be working with." The three young men bowed formally while two of the young ladies curtsied gracefully. "And these two young ladies, recently from the American colonies, are our zebras." The dark-skinned beauties curtsied elegantly and smiled irresistibly. "For the event they will be painted with white stripes."

"Charmed," he murmured bowing in return. "By your leave, my dear Madam, I shall begin."

"By all means," she said with a smile. "Take your seats my darlings, I expect all of you to pay close attention to his instructions." The seven quickly took the chairs arranged to either side with the Madam seated in their center.

With a final bow to the Madam, the Horse Master stepped to one side then removed his coat, waistcoat, sash and cufflinks. He handed them to a waiting servant to hold. In his shirtsleeves, whip and leading rein in hand, the Horse Master strode to the line of trainers. They snapped their feet together sharply, squaring their shoulders and bringing their hands to their sides in sharp attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said softly to the waiting trainers as he nodding in greeting while rolling his sleeves up to the elbows. "As an experienced Horse Master of Her Majesty's Royal Mews and a member of the Horseman's League, the Madam has asked me to assist you in guiding your charges. I will begin by teaching the ponies how to act more like natural horses. Please, pay close attention to what I tell them. These will be the keys to how you will school them to perform as though you handled actual horses." The trainers gave him a startled look, then, as one they nodded.

"Good," he said. "After I have instructed the ponies, we will work the ponies with earplugs so that you can follow my instructions without the ponies anticipating your needs. Any questions?"

"Sir," said a young man on the end. "What form of discipline will you be employing?" The young man eyed the long horsewhip the Horse Master held.

"As in punishment?" The Horse Master asked. The young man nodded.

"None." The Horse Master smiled. "The whip will be used as a guide and a signal, not a tool for chastisement."

"Sir," said one of the young ladies to his left. "With all due respect, this conflicts with our traditional form of discipline."

"You are correct, this style of training is very different from what you are used to," the Horse Master said gently. "Contrary to your previous training, your job will be to gain the trust of your charges so that they trust you to make the decisions for them, as opposed to frightening them into doing as you wish."

"What about their movements, their gaits, the way they trot or prance?" asked a tall male trainer at the far right. "How precise or uniform can their basic movements be?"

"Once I show your ponies basic horse-like movements, such as the basic hackney trot and a simple canter, you are more than welcome the to formalize what I teach in any way you see fit." The trainers nodded then looked at each other with a slight smile and a mischievous gleam in their eyes. "Any other questions?" The four shook their heads.

"Then I ask you to pay close attention, because you will need to understand what they should do in any given situation so as to guide them and encourage them in acting as horses as well as obeying your signals." The four trainers nodded. The Horse Master bowed then turned from the trainers and entered the ring, his stride long and confident, to stand before the ponies.

"Ladies and gentleman," he began. "I will be teaching your trainers to respond to actual horse behavior, so you must make your best effort to respond to their commands like a natural horse." The ponies' eyes were riveted to his, in complete attention. "If you do not understand a command, that is perfectly permissible. React as you think you are being instructed to react. If you go in the wrong direction, then this will be the fault of your driver not you." The ponies glanced at each other with raised brows. The Horse Master watched a sly look slip into the young male pony's eyes.

"Your task for today is to learn to emulate a natural horse." The ponies looked at him in some surprise. "To act as a natural horse, think of yourself in terms of Master Darwin's 'Fight or Flight'. This is where being as a horse is very different from human behavior. Humans normally defend or fight when presented with danger.

"You, as a horse, are a 'flight' animal. Your defense against danger is to run away. If something surprises you, startle as a horse would. This means moving away from any perceived sudden movement, a loud sound, or even a bad smell.

"Unlike humans, a horse does not ever step back or directly to the side, so always flee danger facing forward. You can turn to the side, but you must turn your entire body to face where you are fleeing. Walking backwards or sideways is an unnatural movement for a horse. Unless schooled with a specific signal, you are always to move forward or diagonally, by turning your whole body. To go in any other direction, including reverse, you will need to turn all the way around. Your necks are restrained so this should help you move as a horse would, by using your entire body.

"Something very special to remember: Horses move 'into' pressure, not against it. This is because a horse's skin will tear if they try to run away from a bite. Wild animals that prey on horses attack their bellies hoping to tear them open." The ponies rolled their eyes nervously.

"Yes, I know, disgusting but true. If you feel pressure, move into it, especially if you feel it on your flanks. Your handlers need to learn to react to this, so remember to move 'into' pressure as a natural horse does. Also, If you are frightened badly enough, kicking or stomping, is a natural reaction. Once flight is no longer a clear option, a natural horse will turn and defend himself by kicking. Use this as a distress signal, so if something is wrong I expect you to stop whatever your doing and stomp to signal your driver to come look.

"Also, pay close attention while anyone is near you. Someone standing square to you, facing you directly and staring, just as I am doing now, is an aggressor. Any direct eye contact is an aggressive signal. If it's another pony and you think you can dominate them, square your shoulders to theirs, turning directly to stare at them. Keeping your head eye-level, bare your teeth and stomp in attack. I have seen fighting stallions stretch out their necks, hiss and strike with their teeth like a snake." The female ponies eyed the male pony, smiling around their bits in anticipation. The male pony suddenly looked worried.

"However, if it's someone dominant or frightening to you, break direct eye contact and get out of the way as quickly as you can, by taking whatever direction is open. Remember not to back up, horses do not step backwards without a trainer to signal them to do this."

"As to movement; I'm sure you can do a trot, this is a one, two, one, two step and comes naturally to most human. As ponies, remember when you lift, to keep your knees up, marching level, tucking your feet under as tight as you can, then when you step out, throw out your feet and point your toes like a showy hackney." The ponies experimented with lifting their knees and throwing their feet out.

"Very nice," he encouraged. "A canter is a one-two-three step that is impossible for a two-legged animal to reproduce. A close approximation would be similar to skipping, but always leading with the same foot, in a one-two, one-two rhythm. The same way I'm sure you played at riding as a child. This is a lazier movement and meant to be faster so while you should lift your knees, it won't need to be nearly as high as a trot. Go ahead and try."

The ponies timidly stepped forward from their line. At the Horse Master's nod, they skipped about the ring shaking their heads, their manes and tails bouncing as they lunged about the ring in a two legged canter. One of the female ponies broke into a showy, bouncing trot then stepped up into a quick canter. The rest followed her lead and tried trotting then went into the more relaxing canter.

"Lift your knees and point your toes, ladies and gentleman," he called out. "Make these movements graceful." One of the girls started giggling.

"Horses, do not giggle, try whinnying or neighing instead." All three ponies began making vaguely horse-like sounds. The Horse Master turned to the Madam seated at the edge of the ring by the observing ponies. "Practice will be needed," he said in a loud aside, with a slight smile and a weighted look at the ponies. "I would encourage them to practice often."

"It is vitally important to remember that horses are herd animals," he continued to the circling ponies. "Always move to join in a group unless something physically gets in your way, such as a fence or something frightening." The cantering ponies moved together until they were circling the ring at a slow canter in a bunch.

"Very good. Think in terms of: safety in numbers. Being alone is a frightening thing for a horse," he continued. "If you are alone, you are defenseless, you cannot eat or sleep for fear of predators. As a group or even a pair, watching for danger can be shared. Because of this, as a horse alone, you will always try to join together with anyone that is not actively chasing you, even if it's only your trainer." He called them back into line and continued.

"To join someone else's herd, or join anyone that you are alone with, drop your eyes below theirs by dropping your head submissively. In those collars, you may have to tilt your bodies to do this. Face the herd you want to join with your head down. This tells them that you are willing to follow them, that you are willing to trust their decisions with your safety.

"Also, chew on your bit, showing them your flat teeth." The ponies started jingling their bits and curling their lips at each other. "You are saying to the other herd: See my flat teeth? I am a grass-eater not a meat-eater and I want to be part of your family. Slowly walk over to them and see if they will let you stand with them. This is how horses ask to be part of a someone else's group."

The Horse Master squared his shoulders, beetling his brows in an aggressive stare. The ponies fought to break eye contact as far as their stiff collars would allow. Suddenly, he lunged, stomping at the line of quivering ponies. They shoved, bumping into each other, turned completely around and scattered, bolting at a canter to the fence. They herded together then slowed their mad run to a lazy jogging trot around the ring.

"Excellent," he called out. "That is exactly how I wanted you to react." The Horse Master stepped to the center of the ring turning to keep facing them aggressively, attempting to catch their eyes in a hard stare. He raised his carriage whip and extended it behind them. They quickened from a trot to a canter.

He broke eye contact, still following them with his body, but looking a bit ahead of them, not directly at them. He pointed his shoulder to them keeping his shoulder turned non-aggressively to the circling ponies and dropped the whip. The ponies slowed to a trot then slowed to a quick walk.

The Horse Master stopped in place and waited until they circled all the way around, then he suddenly raised his whip before them, stepped toward them with his shoulders squared at them and staring. They abruptly came to a jolting squealing halt then turned completely around to canter quickly in the other direction.

The Horse Master kept them trotting and cantering back and forth in reaction to his staring and whip signals. Turning with them, he broke eye contact, turned his shoulder toward them, whip down and waited.

They slowed to an exhausted, walk quickly. The Horse Master kept his shoulder to them and his eyes forward. The ponies were clearly sweating in their harness from running and their breathing was labored. The ponies slowed to a halt and faced him; their bodies tilted awkwardly, submissively forward, their heads below his eye level. He heard the jingling of the bits as they chewed, their lips curled, showing their teeth.

The Horse Master glanced at them but kept his face averted. One of the female ponies stepped gingerly forward. Hesitantly, she took mincing steps toward his averted shoulder until she stood within touching range. The bit jingled. Her body tilted a little forward and eyes below his; she gingerly touched her nose to his arm. The Horse Master slowly raised his hand and scratched under her chin.

"Good girl," he whispered. She pressed her face closer and leaned a little against him. The other ponies approached to be patted and praised. "Ladies and gentleman," the Horse Master said softly, "our lesson is concluded and you all did very well, very well indeed."

"Bravo!" The Madam rose from her chair and clapped enthusiastically from the sidelines. The six ponies sitting with the Madam rose and clapped excitedly with her. The staff that had gathered in the doorway and scattered against the entire back wall joined in thunderous applause.