The Magician's Assistant

Bert shifted away from Enchantra and said, "So, was fucking me the result of a spell?"

"No!" exclaimed Enchantra as she stood up. "It was part of natural human attraction."

"Then why did I see sparks fly from your fingers and toes?"

"Well, my fingers were to keep me from getting pregnant. My toes were a side effect from my orgasm. To be honest, that rarely happens so you did a great job in making me cum."

Bert climbed off the bed and stepped away from Enchantra. "So what? I'm not good enough to make a baby with?"

"Do you really want a kid right now?"

"Well, no!" he snapped. "But that's not the point!"

"Well then what is the point?"

"Have you been using your magic to help me with my tricks?"

"Only in the beginning."

"You what?"

"You were such a nervous wreck. I knew you could do the tricks, but you lacked the self-confidence. Even when you first started to show me the tricks you struggled. It was why I made the suggestions I did. Before long, you were doing them without my help. Then there was the show at the VFW. I saw you make the same mistakes you made when we first started and your confidence started to disappear. So, I helped you out."

"And the so-called wardrobe malfunction?" growled Bert.

"Well," grinned Enchantra, "I got caught up in my own tricks. And anyway, everyone loved it."

"That's not the point!" screamed Bert.

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you tricked me!" yelled Bert. "You made me think I was doing all these tricks myself!"

"You were!" she yelled back. "I stopped helping you months ago!"

"Bullshit! If you weren't helping me, then explain why you stuck around!"

"Because I fucking like you! I might even love you! At the very least I saw something in you that no one else did!"

"And what was that!" screamed Bert as Enchantra grabbed a sheet, pulled it over her head, and had her clothes back on.

"Natural magical talent!"

"Oh please!"

Enchantra walked toward the door. "I really thought you'd understand. I thought I could trust you. Goodbye Bert."

"Goodbye!" he yelled.

Enchantra stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Bert collapsed on his bed and punched his pillows several times. The air was electric with the energy of their fight and the aroma of their sex. 'How had I not seen it before?' he thought to himself, 'I never knew. My new found success was all because of her, and she's a witch.'

He dressed and began reviewing his the video footage from all their performances. He watched Enchantra carefully, catching the same hand gesture he saw when they fucked only without the sparks. How had he missed it before? It was clear as day now. As he watched, he noticed that she performed the gesture less and less as time went along.

Still angry, he went to bed. His dreams were plagued with nightmares of Enchantra turning him into an assortment of horrid creatures. He felt the pain he caused her by yelling at her, and realized she had done nothing to warrant his abuse. He woke in a cold sweat, wondering how he was going to make things up to her. He showered, dressed, and checked his paperwork when a knock came from the door.

"Come in!" he called out.

A tall, well-dressed man with salt and pepper hair stepped in. Bert recognized him immediately as the legendary Paul Silverstein, master magician and Bert's idol. Bert's jaw dropped, his eyes bugged out, and he was certain Enchantra was nearby.

"Good morning," said Paul. "I'm--"

"No introduction needed," interrupted Bert. "I'd know you anywhere. You're the legendary Paul Silverstein."

"And hopefully, you're Bert, or rather, 'The Amazing Cazzo.'"

"I am."

"Wonderful!" Paul exclaimed as he shook Bert's hand. "So, I've been sent by the Magician's Council to offer you a lifetime membership."

"You what?" exclaimed Bert.

"We've been watching you and since you took on this new assistant of yours you've really blossomed. Speaking of which, where is she?"

"Home," said Bert. "She'll be in later. She had some personal business to take care of."

"Gotcha," said Paul. "Well, I was hoping to meet her, but I'll meet her next week at the induction ceremony."

"Induction ceremony?" asked Bert.

"Of course. Here, it's all in this letter," said Paul as he handed Bert the letter.

Bert looked at the letter on the heavy parchment and gold foil lettering. He felt a deep pain in his heart as the memory of the fight with Enchantra raced through his mind. This invitation was the one thing he had longed for since he'd first become a magician and it occurred in part thanks to Enchantra. Tears welled up in his eyes and one escaped down his cheek.

"I... I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll accept," said Paul.

"'You'll accept'... I mean... I accept," said Bert with a slight laugh.

Paul chuckled. "I'm so happy to hear that. Now, the ceremony is private so only your lovely assistant may join you. And remember, you may never share what occurs at the ceremony. It falls under the magician's code about never revealing the secrets of your tricks. Though, I must admit, I'd love to know how you make your assistant's costume disappear."

Bert wanted to say he felt the same way, but instead he said, "Well, you know... the magician's code."

"That I do. Well, I'll see you next week Bert. Goodbye."

"Goodbye," said Bert, shaking Paul's hand one last time.

Paul left and Bert searched until he found Enchantra's address on her employment papers. He quickly grabbed his wallet and ran to the bus stop. Until now, Bert never felt the need for a car especially since he couldn't afford one and the buses ran often and late. He caught the bus and rode nervously to Enchantra's apartment complex. Luckily, there was a bus stop just outside.

Bert checked the map, and then ran to her building. As he got close, he noticed Magical Steve's car parked nearby. Fearing he had lost Enchantra, he ran to the door. It wasn't fully closed and he heard Steve and Enchantra talking.

"Bert's an idiot," said Steve. "Why, I'd be willing to bet he's only successful because of you."

"Bert just needed someone to believe in him."

"And that someone was you?"

"Yeah," she said. Bert could hear the pain in her voice.

"Well if that's the case, why then did you leave his place in tears yesterday?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I was in the neighborhood last night and I saw you run out of Bert's place rather upset."

"I twisted my ankle practicing a new trick," she lied.

"Really? It wasn't because the sex was bad?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I've got a theory that the reason Bert can't keep an assistant is because he's a lousy fuck."

"He's not a lousy fuck!" screamed Enchantra.

"Oh really now?" said Steve.

Enchantra growled and asked, "Why are you here? Don't you have your own assistants to pester?"

"I want you as my new assistant."

"No, I'm Bert's assistant."

"I know, but you could be mine," said Steve.

"I can't be both of your assistants."

"Then be mine," said Steve.

"I said no."

Bert pushed the door open and asked, "Enchantra, do you still want to be my assistant?"

"Bert," said Enchantra, surprised, "you're here."

"You didn't answer my question," said Bert. "Do you still want to be my assistant, Enchantra?"

"Your assistant?" questioned Steve. "You don't deserve her."

"True!" agreed Bert. "I don't deserve her, but I think the decision is hers."

"Yes Bert," she said, "I do still want to be your assistant."

Bert rushed over and hugged Enchantra tightly. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered back.

"You've got to be kidding me," said Steve.

"And I think you should be going," said Enchantra, stepping back from Bert's hug. "Bert and I have to rehearse."

"I knew he was a lousy fuck," snapped Steve.

"That may be true," said Bert, "but I just got invited to join the Magician's Council."

"Bullshit!" snapped Steve.

"Really?" squealed Enchantra.

"Here's the invitation," said Bert, handing her the invitation.

"Oh Bert, what an honor!" exclaimed Enchantra.

Exasperated, Steve left in a huff saying, "He'll never survive the initiation."

Once Steve was gone, Bert looked at Enchantra and said, "He's right, I'll never survive, alone. I need you Enchantra."

"And you will have me by your side."

One week later, upon Bert's insistence, both Bert and Enchantra were inducted into the Magician's Council in a secret and private ceremony. The Amazing Cazzo and his assistant Enchantra became the greatest adult-themed magic act ever known and now headline in a Las Vegas hotel along the strip.