The Marriage Ch. 08

"Uncle will come," Hamund repeated.

"That is our hope," I responded, "though we must plan as if he will not. There will be hard choices and I will make them. Your sister will need you more than you know." I saw some of the Douderson stubbornness in him. It was a good thing for what may come.

<<<<>>>>

Five days passed quickly. Little had changed in my mind and nothing changed outside our walls. We ate sparingly out of supplies that could easily last four months. I doubted it would be necessary for we had spied the construction of siege engines. The Wolf would not wait forever. Time was not on our side.

"You will be more cordial this time?" Angelica asked the ambassador.

"Those are my instructions, my Lady," the ambassador returned. I could see he no longer had the swagger from the first visit. Sleeping in the field does that to a man. The resolution of hostilities had become more important in his mind.

"What should we speak about then?" I asked with a false curiosity. The ambassador sighed, wishing we would not take the slow route.

"The ceding of the castle and your lands to my King, my Lord," the ambassador replied.

"We are most comfortable here, master Ambassador. Why should we want to leave?" I responded with contempt.

"King Douderson did not receive your summons," the ambassador answered, "there is enough known that he would not likely come if he did receive it. You have, mayhap, a third of my King's forces. Your supplies will dwindle, and engines will soon topple your walls. The only question is how many lives you wish to follow you to the afterlife, my Lord." His words were delivered diplomatically, and, it angered me, were an honest assessment of the situation.

"What does your King propose?" Angelica added.

"You and your heirs, my Lord and Lady." The ambassador's eyes lowered to the ground. "My King cares not for the others." Mylle and Alia were off the list. I had three more to go.

"Your King expects my children." Angelica's anger rose as she spoke. I laid my hand on her knee, and she calmed some.

"Your price is too high. Mayhap more time will allow more thought," I stated clearly. Five days saved two, another five days would see more. My engineers spoke of ten days to complete the engines. Somewhere in the middle we would find a proper barter, one we could accept.

"My King demands no future challenge to his sovereignty," the ambassador stated, "you have no alliance due to your own weaknesses." He looked to Angelica, and I sensed he knew the truth of it. I rose slowly from the throne.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, you are in my kingdom today," I said carefully, "you are perilously close to a bloodbath of your own making." I took a step forward, and was not stopped by Angelica. Her head was held high. I saw the ambassador's shoulders slump, but his words did not sound of the fear his body displayed.

"My King knows of your preferences, my Lady," the ambassador continued, "he promises that knowledge will not leave your grave." The man was insane if he thought that mattered to us. I moved forward, waiting for him to completely commit to his death.

"Your words are about to condemn you," I warned. My hand moved to the hilt of my sword. The ambassador dropped to his knees. He was not speaking his own words. He would not stop, yet he knew it could clearly mean his death.

"What will your King bargain for with when my uncle arrives." Hamund shouted it as he exposed himself from behind a pillar. "Will he fear for his own head when he faces two armies? Or will he cower and beg and still call us names?" Angelica blanched as her son came forward. She did not want him to learn of her this way. She would have preferred death.

"You do not understand, young Prince," the ambassador continued, "it is something that must be considered by your parents. They have folded your inheritance long ago. Your uncle cares not." I saw Hamund go red. I went to intercept him.

"You think me a fool!" Hamund yelled, "you think I do not know my mother's and father's hearts. You come to our land with conquest in your mind and hate on your lips. You think you will shame them into surrender. You mistake us, you foul cur. When you see my uncle's horses riding down on you, do not blink, for my father will be coming from behind you." I stopped and stared at my son. Angelica was in shock and the court was opened-mouthed. I smiled at him, more proud than I thought possible.

"There it is then, master Ambassador," I said while looking at my son, "consider well my son's words and return in five days and we will discuss it some more." I looked at Angelica. "Mayhap, King Douderson would like to discuss it as well." I added with a smile just for her.

The ambassador left in a huff. He was not used to being chastised by a young prince. I walked over to Hamund and placed my arm around his shoulders.

"Rather bold talk," I said with pride in my voice.

"It was not time to end him," Hamund said quietly, "the battlefield will be soon enough." I looked at him with curiosity. When did he become thirty? Just a moment ago he was thirteen. I could see him on his horse, next to me, riding out to finish this. What kind of father did that make me?

"Your mother will need you now," I said, "she did not wish you to learn of us this way." I looked up at Angelica who had not moved from her throne. Her face was pale and her eyes were glued to Hamund. Hamund looked at her and then back at me.

"She would think I would love her less?" Hamund asked.

"That would be her fear," I answered truthfully. Hamund smiled to me.

"I have known for a while," Hamund stated, "I did not think it important before." I hugged him 'til he broke away in embarrassment. We were holding court after all, and men do not hug men.

Hamund went to his mother and failed to break her hug for some time. There were good tears and many kisses he had to endure. I wondered then, how much Liliana knew. They were brother and sister after all.

Five days later the ambassador returned. Liliana would be allowed to live. Hamund, the male heir, would not. We had gained another step, and needed only one more - though I was planning for two more. My children would need their mother. It was not ideal, but Angelica could return to her brother with Hamund and Liliana. Mylle and Alia could travel to my aunt. In my mind it worked well.

<<<<<>>>>>

"They have built three of them, my King," the engineer spoke as he pointed to the large wooden trebuchets that were spaced well out of our range. "In time, they will concentrate their loads on one section of the wall. The structure will last one, mayhap two days once their aim is true."

I looked out at the amassed army. It had made itself at home ruining the greenness of the pasture. I could guess at the expense the Wolf was experiencing and knew his patience was wearing thin. I needed more time, and he desired less. His army was larger than mine, so it would be his schedule that would win out. The trebuchets were the enemy now.

I pulled Commander Kancraft to the side, away from all ears. "Those engines must come down," I said, "an attack at night with pitch and fire?"

Boris looked at me with his wizened eyes. "'Tis a one-way trip, my King," he said quietly, "a small group could ride through in surprise, but they would surely die there. It would be a gamble that they even get as far as the engines. They have pickets far forward that would sound the alarm."

"But if we rode hard enough," I thought out loud, "they could not stop us afore we reached the engines." I looked back out at the army. The land was flat between here and the engines. Nothing would impede a dedicated charge.

"Aye, my King" Boris replied, "it would give us time, that is all. Do you believe it worth the lives." My son and my wife were worth my life. That I knew.

"Volunteers only," I said quickly, "and I will lead them."

"My Lord!" Boris said loudly, "I will get you the men, but I will lead them. You are needed here." I quieted him quickly, and pulled him tighter to privacy.

"The Bear is not coming," I said what most suspected, "my life is forfeit, but time will buy my Queen's and Son's retreat. The Wolf must allow it or watch his coffers dwindle to naught. My death should sate his mind. You will advise the queen to bargain hard for Hamund and herself. Time will be on her side with the engines gone." I could see Brois working it out. It mattered little if he disagreed. Once those engines started, there were no other options.

"Your life for all?" Boris asked.

"That is preferable to a fight we cannot win. The end for me is no different either way," I said.

"You will need five others, two per engine," Boris thought out loud, "one carrying oil and pitch, the other flame. Hooded lanterns should do nicely." He looked up to me. "Hamund will not forget what you do today. I will see to it, my King." I smiled and slapped his shoulder.

"You just make sure my family gets out," I said, "that is all I wish."

"All five will be free or I will be dead, my King" Boris added. Like my son, he was more than aware of my count. How many others knew, and never took issue with it? That was a number I would never know.

"The queen and my children to Uri. He will tolerate them and keep them safe." I paused as Boris nodded, "Lady Mylle and Lady Alia with my mother. My aunt will see that they are taken care of."

"As you wish, my King," Boris stated. "Say your goodbyes, we will meet again at full dark. I will find others who share your desire."

"I thank you, Commander," I said as I moved off. The goodbyes would be harder than the burning of the engines.

<<<<<>>>>>

I found Angelica with Hamund and Liliana. They were in the garden talking on the grass. Angelica was trying to explain things to Liliana without confusing her with worry. Hamund was not far from his mother these last few days. He sensed his mother's need of him. He was more right than he knew.

Liliana jumped up when she saw me and ran into my arms. I lifted her to sit on my hip, her favorite place to ride. "Mother was telling us about Douderson," she said excitedly. "She said we may visit there soon." I smiled at her happiness.

"Yes, I do think you may, my love," I responded. I received a kiss on the cheek for my agreement. No different than any other I had ever received from her, but this time it held more pleasure. I hugged her close and smothered her face with kisses. I felt my eyes watering, and pulled it back into myself and smiled as I brought Liliana back to the meeting on the grass.

"Is there news?" Angelica asked. I could see her looking more deeply than I desired.

"Nothing important," I said. I looked at Hamund, and my heart felt heavy, "I must deal with the engines tonight. A quick sortie to clear them away." Hamund perked up at that thought of combat. Young men desired war glory and saw honor in it. There would be no honor tonight.

"I shall ride with you," Hamund added. He was getting bolder since he had confronted the ambassador.

"No, 'tis a night operation. You have not trained for it yet. If it were day, I would be proud to have your sword at my side," I lied. His shoulders squared at my desire. He would be quite a man one day. He was almost one already. "Tonight I hold you responsible for your mother and sister," I added. I held out my arm and he took it firmly, wrist to hand like a king.

I looked back to Angelica. Her eyes found mine, and I flinched at her glare. I saw water forming in the corners as she deciphered my words. She shook her head slightly in disagreement. I smiled and tried to offer solace.

"It will be a quick mission, my love," I said softly, "it is a necessary thing I do." Hamund looked between us with curiosity. Angelica bit her upper lip, and struggled with her emotions. "Commander Kancraft has my instructions, and will make sure all is well while I am away." She sucked in her breath and quickly wiped her eyes. She looked at Hamund, then Liliana and then back at me.

"It will protect them?" Angelica asked.

"And you, my love," I made it sound more certain than it really was.

"Then we will prepare your dinner, my love," Angelica said, "we will await you in the hall." She looked at our children. "Come, we must make something special." Liliana jumped from my arms. She liked to plan dinners and parties. Hamund found the situation unnerving, but accepted his mother's command. "Will you please invite Lady Alia," Angelica choked out her words and coughed to cover it up.

"I will go at once, my love," I answered as they headed to the kitchens. Angelica knew me too well. I headed off to Alia's room. I was surprised to find Hamund at my heels. I turned with a questioning look.

"I am to fetch Lady Mylee," he answered my look. I nodded.

"You know how proud of you I am?" I asked as we walked side by side.

"But I cannot ride with you tonight," Hamund stated. I laughed at his persistence. It would serve him well later in life, if I could secure that life for him.

"No, not tonight. Your bravery is noted," I offered as consolation.

"Why is mother worried?" Hamund asked. His intuitiveness caught me by surprise. He knew his parents well.

"She always worries," I answered lightly, "it is her job to worry." Hamund shook his head. I could tell he did not agree with my statement. I was happy he did not pursue it further. His assessment of situations was improving rapidly. I wondered if he would forgive me for what I would not tell him today.

We found Alia and Mylle in their room. Both deep in a discussion as we entered. I smiled at both and Hamund drove forward with purpose. "I am to bring you to the kitchen, Lady Mylle," Hamund said confidently, "my mother wishes your help."

"I am to help in the kitchen?" Mylle asked. Hamund rolled his eyes at her and nodded to me and Alia. Mylle held back her smile. "Oh, yes, I remember now," she lied as she took Hamund's hand and left the room.

"Hamund is wise beyond his years," Alia said as she neared me. I saw her desire to kiss, and I fell into it. It was a wonderful thing that kiss. It was warm and loving. It wrapped my soul as I tried to memorize it. It would carry me through what I must do. Suddenly, she pushed me away though I desired to stay more than life itself.

"What was that?" Alia panicked. She knew me best of all. She pointed her finger at me. "Tell me!" she demanded. I did not want to.

"I do not want to, my love," I choked. How could she tell from my lips? Her eyes went wide. I saw anger, then fear, then tears.

"You are leaving me," Alia surmised. I took a step back, afraid where this was leading. I wanted to remember her happy. I had ruined it. "Ohh," she gasped as she read my eyes, "what are you planning?" I sat in a chair, and my eyes found the floor. This is what I would take to my grave.

"I did not wish it like this," I stumbled out the words. I looked up, and her hand was covering her mouth and tears were flowing. "I must leave you, my love," I said softly. The door burst open, and my mother flew in, anger in her eyes.

"You will find another way!" my mother yelled. I closed my eyes as I heard my family shatter around me.

"What is he planning?" Alia cried, "he will not tell me!"

"Out there." My mother pointed in the direction of the gatehouse. "Kancraft did not wish to tell me either."

"Out where?" Alia's pleas were sounding desperate.

"He is raiding tonight," my mother said as if she had eating something bitter, "there is no chance of return."

"You will not!" Alia cried as she flew into my arms. "You will send others." She looked desperately at my mother. "Kings do not do these things."

"This king will not!" my mother ordered. I looked up, over Alia's shoulder.

"There is no other way, Mother," I said with conviction. "I must give Hamund and Liliana a life with their mother." I watched her eyes go dark. I expected more yelling, but only received a shocked look and utter confusion. "I love you, Mother," I added. She broke then. On her knees she screamed and then cried. "You must take Mylle and Alia to your sister's," I continued.

"I will not go," Alia said. I rose from the chair.

"You will," I said as I retrieved my mother from the floor. She did not want to rise so I had to use more strength than I had desired. "I need you," I said to my mother. If my last day was to resemble horse dung, then so be it. I would not allow my plans to waste to nothing. "You will do as I say and take Alia and Mylle to your sister's." My mother looked at me and nodded. She pulled me close.

"I did not see this end for you, my Son," my mother whispered in my ear, "I saw you old and gray, spoiling grandchildren. I hurt more than you know." She pulled me closer as if to hold me there through the night. I wrapped my arms around her, and let her have me for the moment. "I will see to them," she added, "I promise you that." I smiled at her words.

"If there were another way, I would take it," I said, "know that your love gladdens my heart. I must know my family will be safe."

"They will be safe," my mother repeated. I wiped the tears off her cheek and kissed her there.

"I must say goodbye to Alia," I whispered. My mother pulled me down and kissed my forehead. She had done that many times long ago, usually after scolding me for some offense. It reminded me of her love when things went wrong. I cherished it. She smiled through her tears and left me there, with my true love.

"I do not want you to go," Alia said with weak conviction. She meant it as a demand, and it weakened as it emerged.

"Mylle will think this her doing," I said, ignoring her request, "you must not let her blame herself. She will not have Angelica to hold her." Alia's head tilted as she looked at me. I saw her pain and tried to forget. I did not want to remember her this way.

"Who will hold me?" Alia stuttered. Her pain slammed me. I was going to send her away, unloved and far from everything she knew. I was going to send her away from me.

"I wish your love my last day," I begged. My heart was breaking to see her, and I could not look away. She found my arms and trembled in them. Her lips found mine, and I felt her desire for the lifetime we would miss. I lifted her in my arms, her weight but a feather in my sorrow. I carried her to the bed, and we lay clothed and in each other's love. It was that moment I would take to my grave.

<<<<<>>>>>

Dinner was a hard thing. Mylle, as I foretold, blamed herself for Uri's dismissal of the alliance. I spent much time convincing her that none of it was hers to bear. To break her from Angelica, a life without her love, was a cruel necessity. Only Uri could protect my children, and I knew he would not have Mylle there.

Liliana, bless her, was unaware of the significance of the meal. She had planned well with what rations we allowed ourselves. Proudly, she brought me my plate, ignoring the attempts from our retainers to serve. I could think of no better last meal than one served by her. It could have been dirt off the ground, and I would have eaten every morsel.

Hamund, his mind always working, saw something in our actions. I tried to sway him with talk of horses and drill. He kept looking between us and concentrating on his mother. Angelica was a statue, none of her normal poise was there. It was as if her natural grace had fled. She tried desperately not to catch my eye.

It was I who had the easy part. I had dictated difficult futures for all and I would not be there to suffer through them. Mayhap, I was thinking wrong, but life held promise where death held none. I would, at least, give them that chance. Alia, no longer caring who knew, would not relinquish contact with me. Be it her hand or leg, she was touching me at all times. I did not fight it, and in brief moments of movement, sought it out again when contact broke. It was pleasing to my soul.