The Medical Record Ch. 02

It is necessary to read Chapter 01 to make aany sense at all of this chapter. Realdoc.

"I'm not ready to go any farther with Bob and Jeanette," I told Susan as we did the morning dishes. "Don't ask me why. I really don't know but I'm just not wanting or willing to do that right now. Maybe I'm worried about you and me. Maybe I can't handle the thought, much less an image, or even worse the sight of you with another man. I actually began to feel nauseated last night. My guts were telling me to call it off. Being with Jeanette just doesn't appeal to me when I think of you with Bob or anyone else." I was putting the dishes into the washer as she wiped the table and kitchen tops.

"I was wondering why the sudden turn around, John. We both seemed to be ready last night when you pulled the plug, somewhat unceremoniously, I might add." Susan seemed a little perturbed last night and still was by the tone of her voice. "Sweetheart, I know you were ready for more but I wasn't then and am not now. Somehow, I keep looking back at the wonderful years we have had together and really worry that such a big change might change all that. Changes for the worse, I mean. I need more time. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right anymore. There for a while I was feeling better and better about swapping but then this thing with your sister and the Medical Record came up. Maybe you don't understand how that impacted me. It was a gut blow. Yeah, I know, it's turning out okay but my psyche hasn't recovered. I truly want to believe you but my emotions are still very unsettled. To be honest with you, I still have a little nagging li ngering doubt that I just can't rid myself of."

"John, however long it takes for you to recover is okay with me." With that our discussion was finished and we turned to the tasks of the day.

I called Bob the next day and told him of my fears and that we should still be good friends but we were going to cool it with the flirting. He said he understood and would tell his wife. We made plans for another cookout at our place the next Friday night.

"Hi, Sis," I was speaking to Susan's sister on the phone the next week from work.

"Listen, I still haven't received the copy of the medical record you promised to send us. Did you get it in the mail? Our fax is working now so you could send it that way."

"I put it in the mail. John. Maybe the mail is delayed for some reason. I didn't make a copy to save because I just couldn't take the chance that my hubby might find it. Having a copy floating around the house could be too dangerous for me. Let's give the mail a day or so. Surely it will get to you in the next day or so." She sounded sincere but suspicion began to surface again. How I hated to have suspicion about my wife. "Okay," I replied. "You have to know how important this is to me."

"Yes, I know." She seemed just a little peeved. Could I trust her, I wondered to myself. Now I was wondering about her and my wife. What gives? Would the anesthesia record really show up in the mail as promised? It had been five days and the mail usually only took three max.

"Sis, did you send it insured or return receipt requested?" My inquiry seemed not unusual to me. After all a VERY LOT depended on that one sheet of paper.

"John, no, I didn't. The mails are so dependable I just never thought of doing that. Maybe I should have but I didn't." Her voice carried a little strain to it. I picked up on that and wondered. Maybe I was pushy but this was really really important to me.

"Okay, Sis. Thanks for mailing it. We'll be watching the mail. If it doesn't show I'll let you know. Bye for now." I hung up as she was saying her goodbyes.

That evening after another great supper Susan had fixed I looked over the table and said. "Did you check the mail today?" "Yes, the letter from Sis hasn't arrived. I'm concerned about it having gotten lost. What are we going to do if it doesn't show up. Could we get another copy? I need it to prove myself. I hate to have to prove anything to you but I feel the same need you do with this issue between us. I think that is the reason you don't want us to get into swapping with Bob. Do you feel that is the main problem too?"

"I think it is part of the problem. The real problem is this terrible, haunting suspicion that is just eating at me. I hate it. I love you. I want to have total faith and trust in you but it has been cracked. I need to get over this and I need to get over it yesterday if not last week." My words and tone conveyed my deepest fear.

She got up and came over and pulled me up out my chair and hugged me tightly. She was crying. Her tears moistened my shirt as she rubbed her eyes on it.

"Oh, my God, what is happening to us, John? I can't believe all this. This whole thing has begun to hurt us so badly. If only this all had never happened. How can I ever make this all up to you. If only you had never seen that medical record. If only things were different." She was now sobbing and shaking as she held on to me. Was she confessing? I couldn't tell but it sounded like it to me.

"You are my rock in life, John! If you crumble I will have nothing. I need you so terribly right now. I know you are stressed too but you are my rock. I'm so afraid I might have crushed the very person who is everything to me. Do you hear my heart, John?"

I wasn't sure I heard the message. I heard her words but what was she telling me?

"Susan, what I heard from you just now is that you are really upset that I found out. Is that true or is it all about the record being falsified only? Is it that I have lost some trust in you and now find it needful to validate your trust rather than just accepting your words of innocence? What you just said, and more importantly what you didn't say has added to my worry and suspicion. Please, if this really was about you and not your sister, please tell me. I can handle it. We can make it through but only with total honesty." I held her as she stiffened then pressed herself to me hugging me ever tighter. We just stood and held each other.

"Susan, was that pregnancy a result of Bob?" There, I put it right out in front of us. I waited. Silence broken only by light quiet sobbing.

"No, John, no, it was not Bob. I swear to you it was not Bob." I noted that she did not deny the pregnancy, only that it was not Bob's doings."

My heart was pounding a thousand beats a minute. I realized that I was not breathing.

"Who was it, Susan?" I broadened the question to be all encompassing, not limited to just Bob. "Tell me!" I demanded.

She was sobbing and shaking. I knew then that the letter was never going to arrive. The truth had arrived first. I was holding the key in my arms as she cried. She pulled away, openly crying.

"I want to die!" she cried out and ran to our bedroom. I heard the door shut. My life was suddenly changed. In a way I felt angry yet relieved. The overwhelming emotion was grief. Grief not for me but for her. She had held this secret for eight years. I bet it had eaten at her gradually internally, weakening her. Or was it that she had hidden it and not really felt grief until she was discovered? Was she sorry for the adultery or was she sorry for getting caught? I wanted to reach out to comfort her but just couldn't go to her. I still loved her. I knew she was hurting. Confusion overwhelmed me.

What should my response be? Was I really a wimp for not walking out on her right now? My religion teaches that forgiveness is everything yet I felt I couldn't let her get off Scot free. I didn't want to punish her, at least not physically and I was not into playing mind games.

I climbed the stairs, wanting to console her but fearful that whatever I did would be wrong. Waiting just outside the closed bedroom door, I listened to her quiet sobs. After a minute or so, I quietly walked in and sat beside her on the bed. She was laying on her stomach with her face turned away from me. I reached over and caressed her back. Neither said anything for what seemed like an eternity. Not knowing what to say or do, I simply started talking.

"Susan, we need to talk."

"I know," she wailed. "I don't know what to say or how to say it so that I don't crush the rock I depend on. You are my rock." "John, please," her voiced trailed off, "you have to believe me. I'm nothing if you don't believe me."

"Susan, we both are hurting. You finally confessed. Surely that is some relief from the fear of discovery you have had all these years. Your rock is not going to be crushed!" I truly hoped so but I was fearful for myself but couldn't let her know. I had to be strong at her moment of weakness. I drew from my inner strength, hoping that it would be enough. Yelling and accusations were not going to make this bad situation better. What had happened could not be changed.

"Susan," I said in a whisper, "Go take a shower, put on some clean clothes, then when you feel better, we will talk. You need to tell me everything and I need to listen and hear you. The sky is not going fall. Now get up and get going, we have the day ahead of us." With that I lifted her off the bed and headed her toward the bathroom. As she disappeared into the bathroom, I spoke out more loudly so she could hear me.

"I'm going to take a walk and will be back in about an hour. Put some fresh coffee on for us."

I departed. I had to get away into the fresh air. Thousands of thoughts sped through my head. None seemed to stop for analysis. I walked briskly then broke into a jog and finally into a full run until I had to stop. I was breathing so awfully hard and my heart was pounding through my chest. I kept walking slowly. What am I going to do? What can I say? I tried to organize my thoughts so that my questions of her would be both logical and sequential. Finally sense began to emerge from my disorganized and chaotic mind.

I turned towards home. Susan was my home. My home was emotionally on fire and in danger of being destroyed. Would I pour on water or gas? I desperately needed to be the fireman. She needed me. My thoughts were of her, not of me. I thought that that is what love is: the other person's interest. Revenge was never a consideration. God would apply justice. She was a good sound person with a terrible need for acceptance and forgiveness. I determined to be a help with both. I knew that swapping was going to be in the distant future if ever. She had to accept that and I was going to be sure she understood that. Opening the front door, the sweet aroma of fresh brewed coffee met my olfactory senses. I smiled for I knew Susan was up and functioning. She was a strong person after all.

She had showered and wore a light dress. Her hair was wrapped in a towel. She was very sober but her eyes had cleared.

"Let's have a coffee and talk," she offered. It was clearly a demand not just a request.

Sitting across from each other in our usual places she sipped her black coffee. Then she reached over to take my hand. Looking me straight in the eye she dropped the bomb.

"I never cheated. You have to believe me, John, I NEVER cheated on you or on our marriage." She looked me straight in the eye. "Remember how I made the kids look me straight in the eye to make them tell me the truth? Well, let me look you straight in the eye and tell you that I never cheated." She was looking straight at me. She never blinked or dropped her eyes. Her eyes bored into me. I was almost embarrassed by how long she kept staring into my eyes. I blinked several times. She was dead serious and I knew it. I felt it. I was convinced but was not going to quit just yet.

She finally took another sip of coffee and continued. "What I was, and am still very upset about is that you don't really believe me. I know your suspicions. I know you have distrusted my sister probably forever. We haven't gotten the letter and you believe we will never get it. You may be right. We may never get it. Whether or not we get it, it still will not prove that I lied to you or cheated on you. I am going, somehow or other, to prove to you I never cheated. I need your help to do that. I need to know exactly what will put your heart and mind at ease. Please believe me. I need you to believe me." Her eyes began to cloud up again.

"We have never not trusted each other until this incident," she pleaded with me.

"Okay, I've been thinking. When I went for my walk I was convinced you had cheated and were going to tell me that when I got back which is now. I was preparing myself to hear of your adultery. Now my previous thoughts have been thoroughly derailed. While you were speaking, I was listening and thinking. Here is what I need. I want to see the original of the anesthesia report. I want to see it attached to and included in the medical record of the abortion. I want both you and your sister to take lie detector tests from a certified testing agency or person."

"Finally, I want to see the insurance claim form from the clinic, providing they filed insurance for any part of your sister's visit there. If they filed, I want to see proof of payment from her insurance. I know we never had a claim for an abortion. When I see all these and they all support your claims then and only then will my fears be 100 percent relieved. Will you help me on this?"

"YES!" she practically yelled at me. "Let me ask a question. If you get proof of insurance payment from her insurance, would that not be enough that the lie detector tests would not be necessary?"

I thought about that for a moment then replied. "No. It would be enough so that only you don't have to take a lie detector test but I still want Sis to take one. That would be a form of punishment for her for using your ID and getting you into this whole mess. I don't trust her. She may have gotten religion but she is still being dishonest with her husband about what went on. She hasn't told him and he has a right to know what happened while they were dating and, I presume, planning on getting married."

"Honey!" she gasped. "Surely that doesn't need to be dug up and maybe ruin their marriage"

"Susan, what is a marriage without honesty? You are so wanting for me to believe your honesty. Let's give her a chance to strengthen her marriage. She is putting me through the emotional roller coaster and wringer. I intend to punish her somehow. It's for her benefit."

"John, please, please don't do this to her. She is my sister. She will never talk to me again. This is just too difficult for me. Please back off that demand for my sake."

"Wife," that was the first time I ever addressed her like that, "whose side are you on? If you have to choose between your sister and me, who are you going to choose?" I glared at her, looking into her soul through her eyes.

"Just moments ago you were promising me full cooperation and now you are backing off. Why are you tempting me to doubt you again?" I stood to leave the conversation. She jumped up excitedly and grabbed my hand.

"I choose you. Don't you ever doubt that." She hugged me tight. "We will do this together and do it to the bitter end. If I lose my sister to keep you, it will be a bittersweet victory but I agree totally. I have only one request. Let's get Sis to get the records for us first. We can go to the clinic with her and you can see everything in the original. Then and only after that, we will get the rest done. After we see the records, then I will talk to her and tell her what else we demand she do. Is that okay?"

"Yes," I enthusiastically agreed. "This is going to be touchy because officially it was you who went there, not her. That is, providing she used your ID there as she did at the medical clinic where I saw the medical record. We all need to go together."

We waited another week but the letter never arrived. "Susan, it has been almost two weeks and the letter has not come. I don't think she sent it. I am taking you with me to confront her. If she doesn't fully cooperate with the total truth, I'm going to tell her husband. I'm going to threaten her with that to get her to come clean."

"Okay," was her immediate reply.

"I have all next week off. Let's both of us get on the phone together and tell her what the deal is."

We phoned Sis and told her of our demands. Susan supported me 100 percent. We made arrangements to meet her the next Wednesday at her home. This was a Thursday morning.

That very afternoon the phone rang and I answered. "John, I need to talk with Susan." It was Sis.

"Okay, let me get her on the phone. I'm going to stay on line." I replied. Susan picked up.

"Susan, there is a problem." My heart jumped. What was Sis up to now? What lies are we going to get from her?

"Listen, Susan, I never had that anesthesia report. I couldn't get it. As you recall, I used your ID when I registered at the clinic. They wouldn't release the record to me because I was you back eight years ago. I'm so sorry. I do remember them taking out my dental plates. That much was not a lie."

"I was thinking, when I told you I had the actual record, that my word would be enough and you all would just forget about the letter not getting there. I thought you would just trust me. I was telling the truth about the dental plates, I just didn't have the physical evidence to back me up." she sighed audibly into the receiver.

"Sis," I said. I was becoming frustrated with her. I should have anticipated something like that from her. She was not like her sister, my wife Susan. "Am I correct in assuming that you did not file an insurance claim?" Things were becoming increasingly confused and my discomfort was coming back.

"John, I can't remember. I don't think I did. I recall paying by check...I think. I just don't remember for sure," was her delayed response.

"Dammit, Sis, you have really screwed us with all this crap of yours," Susan shouted into shouted into the phone. I felt the same way but was trying to hold back my emotions. We still needed Sis on our side and making her angry would push her away, insuring that the problem was made even worse. "Okay, here's what we are going to do. We will call the clinic and tell them to have the entire record ready for us to look at tomorrow afternoon. Sis, we are going to pick you up tomorrow and we all three go to the clinic to look at the records together. Sis, if you have been lying to us about anything, the shit is going to hit the fan for you. Is that clear?" I had lost my temper.

"Okay, I'll be ready. Just make it before three p.m. because I need to be home when Dick gets home around five p.m. God, how I don't want him to be involved in this at this point. He will lose it big time if he finds out right now. I don't want you all to tell him. I will but after I prepare him for it." Sis began to get desperate. I knew she was going to cooperate. We picked up Sis and drove to the clinic. They had promised to have the medical record ready for us.

Upon arrival we were ushered into the administrator's office. Next we all had to prove our own identities. There were numerous legal documents to sign. That done the chart was produced. I grabbed it.

"As the doctor, I get first look." No one objected. I started at the very first. Sure enough, there was Susan's photo ID drivers license copied into the chart. In the sign in sheet nothing unusual. The surgical report followed. Then the anesthesia record. Sis had had general endo-tracheal anesthesia. Yep, there clear as day was the note that her dental prosthesis had been removed and after recovery had been given back to her along with her purse, etc.

I sighed in huge relief and showed the report to Susan. I was not going to let Sis off the hook so easily though. She had caused us a lot of pain and I wanted to deliver a little more emotional stress to her so I looked at the rest of the chart. In an attachment, I saw that the clinic routinely saved a specimen of the fetus for a medical research project they had been involved in at that time.