tagHumor & SatireThe Mrs. Santa Clause

The Mrs. Santa Clause


Good God, the Mall was crowded. 9:00... two more hours and hell night would be over with. I'd been working at La Boutique Du Lingerie for the last seven months and on my feet today for the last fourteen hours. I must have been out of mind when I agreed to work a double shift, but my paycheck was going to be huge!

It was Christmas Eve, and all the shoppers would be gone, the last-minute freaks buying up all the tacky left-over gifts from the Christmas sales. God, I wanted a drink, a cigarette, maybe a game of pool or two down at the bar...whatever. Just a way to relax.

I don't have any kids, so I could sleep in Christmas morning while all the other parents in the world were waking up bleary-eyed to kids begging their parents to get up because Santa Claus had come.

They would have spent the night assembling bicycles, wrapping presents, and filling stockings, while I planned to have a couple of drinks, shoot some pool, and maybe even get laid.

A woman rolled by with a baby stroller and a toddler in tow, screaming at the top of his lungs. "Jesus," I thought, "take your kids home and put them to bed, they're exhausted!"

There were groups of gang-banger-punks walking by, probably shoplifting whatever they could, knowing them. They never actually BOUGHT anything, just caused trouble and made noise. Girl-groups, loaded down with shopping bags, eyeballing the punks, giggling, gossiping, and posing.


I rang up the last red satin teddy with faux white trim that we had and told Carol, the Manager, that I was taking my break. She winked at me and told me to stay out of trouble, smiling.

I ran out the back door to have a smoke. The Mall Santa was out there too. It was funny as hell seeing Santa Claus smoking a cigarette.

"I'll bet YOU'RE ready for a drink." I said, laughing.

"Yeah, actually, I think I'm going to go out tonight," he replied. "What the hell, maybe I'll meet my future wife." He joked.

I laughed and blew two smoke rings into the night air, as he crushed out his cigarette.

"Everybody should get their wish on Christmas," he sad, smiling, as he turned to go back into the mall.

"I was thinking about getting a drink after work too," I said, as he reached for the door. "so maybe I'll see you later."

"Sure, meet me at the North Pole, and I'll buy you a beer." He grinned.

"Wow," I laughed, "I have a date with Santa!"

We laughed as I pinched out my cigarette, and he pulled out a roll of mints, and we went back inside, and I watched him to sit in his big gold chair at the "North Pole" and listen to sticky, children telling him what they want for Christmas, with a rosy smile on his face.

I thought about how great it would be to have a man that was so caring and good with kids, but definitely younger, and able to screw me as often as I needed it, so I could just be a stay-at-home mom.

I sighed and went back into La Boutique and told Carol I had a date with Santa, as I signed back into my register.

"The Mall Santa???" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well he's what, 60?" She asked.

"No way," I said, "He's not that old."

Carol laughed. "His beard is REAL, and he DOESN'T wear padding. He's really that big!"

"Oh. Well, so what? We're just going to get a drink after close. No big deal."

She laughed as she walked off to straighten the panty racks.

The rest of the night was really slow, and I was bored to death with the sales tapering off to almost nil. I rang up what was probably the last sale of the night for a guy who bought a peignoir and panty set, gift-wrapped them for him, and as he left, Carol came back to the register.

"Here, she said," handing me a package and laughing, Merry Christmas, from me to you."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Open it and find out. It's for your big date," she said, moving in close and tweaking my left nipple playfully.

Carol and I always teased each other....one night we were both horny and we got each other off in the stockroom. It was really hot. We had been embarrassed and avoided each other like the plague for a week after that, but she didn't fire me, and when she realized I wasn't going to file harassment in the workplace charges, we both relaxed, and we had became close friends with benefits quickly. We had even talked about a threesome with her husband and herself, but it hadn't happened so far.

She was so crazy.

Man was she ever hot, too! I thought of all the times we had been in that stockroom together after close, me sitting on the stairs looking down at her while she licked my pussy....oh, man. I shivered thinking about the orgasms she gave me.

I opened the Christmas gift. It was a Catholic School Girl uniform and a pair of rumba panties from our "Le Fantasie" collection. I rolled my eyes at her and slapped her on the shoulder while she practically fell on the floor laughing."

"Ha-Ha," I told her, "I'll wear this tonight and go up to Seattle after my drink with Santa and have a lot more fun on Christmas Eve than YOU will, drinking egg-nog and putting tinker-toys under the tree!" I smirked at her and she just laughed, and started totaling out her register.

An announcement came on over the P.A. that the Mall was closing in fifteen minutes.

"Phew!" I thought, "Thank God!"

I totaled out my register and Carol lowered the gate over the entrance to the store.

She gave me my Christmas bonus and I went into the dressing room to change, into the outfit she gave me, knowing that I probably wouldn't have a chance to do it later. I thought about how silly I would look, but I figured, what the hell? I was going to go up to Seattle and have some fun; I worked hard all day and deserved a kick for Christmas Eve.

The outfit was the right size, and actually, I thought I looked pretty damn cute in it. The little plaid skirt hung about mid-thigh, and with the white blouse and the knee-socks, it was a cool fetish-kind of a look. I parted my hair down the center and plied it into two long braids on either side, and headed up front to the door.

"Oh, wow!" Carol exclaimed, "You ARE going to have fun tonight. You look really cute!"

"Thank you, Reverend Mother," I replied sarcastically, smiling. Merry Christmas."

I flipped up the little plaid skirt and flashed the rumba panties at her as I paused for a moment just in case she wanted to spank the bad little school girl, and she reached out and rubbed my ruffled ass with a soft, firm hand. I walked out the door laughing. I felt so damn cute; I just had to smile to myself.

I met Santa at the "North Pole." He was still wearing his costume and was just hanging up his "GONE TO FEED THE REINDEER" sign.

"Ready for our drink?" I asked.

He turned around. "Holy cow!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide, "What are you all dressed up for?"

I could feel myself flushing and I suddenly felt embarrassed. "I'm uh, going to go up to Seattle after our drink.... I thought I'd hit a club or two and see what kind of trouble I could get into."

"Well," he grinned, "Wearing an outfit like that, I'd say you could get into a LOT of trouble!"

I smiled. "Thanks."

We walked out to the parking lot and decided to take his car. It was so cool, a fire engine-red Chevy Bel-Air convertible with chrome shining all over the place.

"Wow, I exclaimed, playing Santa must be a pretty good gig!"

He winked and started up the car. "So," he said, as the engine purred, "Where to?"

"I give up, you pick. Santa's choice. By the way," I said, "what is your name?"

"Oh," He said, "It's Christmas, just call me Santa."

I laughed. "Okay, Santa, you're driving, you pick."

Santa and I drove to a bar on the North end of town that was featuring Karaoke and was festooned with gobs of Christmas decorations.

We walked in amid cries of "Santa!!" We laughed and found a table at the back, away from the karaoke speakers and the dart tournament, and sat down. I decided to start off with tequila while Santa opted for milk and cookies.

"You've got to be kidding," the waitress said, laughing.

I threw back my tequila with salt and a lemon wedge, and grinned.

"Jeez!" remarked Santa, "You want another one?"

"Why the hell not?" I laughed, "You're my designated driver!"

Santa ordered me two more shots of tequila, and I tossed them back, grinning at him with a lemon rind smile as I sucked the juicy pulp from the wedge.

He smiled and asked me if I knew what Santa did to bad little girls dressed in Catholic school uniforms who were on his naughty list.

I was feeling good, so I asked him if he bent them over his knee and spanked them.

He laughed and replied that he bent them over alright.

I shrieked with laughter and he ordered me one more shot. I don't remember drinking it. In fact, I don't remember anything after that at all, until I woke up in his car speeding along through the night.

"Oh, god," I said feeling like shit, "I think I'm going to be sick. Pull over, Santa."

"I can't pull over. Just throw up over the side."

The top was still down, so I leaned over the door, but where I expected to see the road, there was only clouds and the night sky.

"Oh my god, are we flying?" I asked incredulously.

I looked over at Santa. He wasn't the jolly old elf anymore, but still had white hair though cropped short, and a moustache. His beard was a white goatee, and he wore the same gold rimmed spectacles, but his body was trim, and he was HOT!

I suddenly felt perfectly sober.

"What the hell is going on?"

Santa laughed. "I had to carry you out of the bar, you'd had just a little too much to drink, you know."

I stared, dumbfounded. "Are you the same...are you the mall Santa?"

He laughed. "Yeah, it's me." He answered.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Well, I have to make my rounds here pretty quick," He said, "so I thought I'd just take you home with me, and let you sleep it off till Christmas morning."

I looked down over the edge of the car door again.

"Holy shit, we ARE flying!" I cried.

"Yup," He answered. "Pretty cool, huh?"

I looked up at the plastic reindeer hanging from his rear-view mirror, and then over at him as he drove, or rather flew, the car. Man...he was a serious hottie. I laughed out loud wondering if Santa ever got laid, and I saw him smile.

"Once in awhile," He said, as if reading my thoughts, "but not often, no."

Oh my god, he could read my mind. I decided to have a little fun, and imagined myself leaning over, unbuckling his big black belt and reaching into his pants for his dick. I imagined it was already getting hard, and that it was huge.

He looked over at me and grinned, unbuckling his belt.

"Go ahead," he said laughing, "It's not like I'm going to drive off the road."

I wondered how all of this could be happening; the flying car, his change in appearance, reading my thoughts...

"Christmas magic." He said simply.

I leaned over and kissed him, and he took my hand and put it squarely on the crotch of his pants. Wow, he was hard...and big!

"Damn, Santa." I said appreciatively, "You're HUGE!"

He leaned back in the seat as I reached into his pants and felt his big dick. It was so big and hard. I wanted to suck it so bad.

He closed his eyes and groaned. "Oh yeah...do it."

As we flew along through the night sky, I pulled his cock up out of his red pants and licked at the tip of it. I could taste that wonderful, delicious drop of precum, and I savored it as my tongue began to work around the head of his dick, and he moaned with pleasure.

I opened up my mouth and took the head of his dick orally, gripping the base of his cock in my right hand. Fuck, he was big!

I went down on him deeper and further, until he was against the back of my throat. When I was past gagging, I pushed his dick past the point of resistance, and buried my nose in his balls, deep-throating him.

He put his hand on my head and held me there for a few seconds as I panted through my nose, and then let me up, and I moaned as I twisted my head to the left and right, moving up and down on his dick.

"Oh, my god," he said aloud, "I see you have a little Christmas magic of your own!"

I moaned as I thought of him holding me by a fistful of my hair and fucking my mouth, and before I realized it, he was doing just that.

Drool was running from my mouth all down his balls, and I reached for them, gently massaging them with my free hand.

I was being a naughty little girl, and I was loving it!

Santa stretched out his legs, and groaned as I reached under his balls and gently pushed into the thick tissues that made up the base of his dick with my knuckles, and rubbed it as I sucked him deep, to the left and the right.

Santa's breathing became shallower, and he gripped at my hair restlessly.

"Oh, no," I thought, "Please don't cum yet; I want you to fuck me."

Santa sat up and shifted the gear from Over-drive to Self-drive, put the top up on the convertible, and as we rolled up the windows, he turned on the heater. He laid down the back of the bench seat, and it folded up against the rear seats, forming a king-sized bed.

"Wow," I said, "this car is awesome!"

Santa kicked off his big, black boots, pulled off his red coat and pants, and came after me with more lust in his body than I had ever experienced, and I suddenly knew what it meant to be a bitch in heat.

He shoved me up against the dashboard, flipping my little plaid skirt up onto my back, and pulled my frilly rumba panties down to my knees.

As I gasped with excitement, he pushed a finger slowly into me, and began to turn it left and right inside of me.

I couldn't help myself, and began to buck back against his finger, causing it to thrust harder and deeper.

"Oh, God, Santa...." I moaned, "Oh, god yes."

Santa added a second finger and started finger-fucking me again slowly, and I whined, begging him to do it harder.

He pulled his fingers out so slowly, it was maddening, and as I moaned, he slammed them hard into me, and I cried out as I gasped for a breath, my pussy throbbing. Suddenly, I flew to the point of no return and stepped over the edge. I cried out as I convulsed in orgasm, and I came hard, my pussy gripped by wave after wave of pleasure. I squirted juices from deep within my body, and Santa pulled me straight away from the dashboard, and threw me onto my back on the great bed. I desperately needed him to fuck me, and I knew that he knew it.

He pulled my panties off and dove into my pussy, face-first.

It was pure ecstasy. I reached for his head and ran my fingers through his hair as he ate me, and after several orgasms, he leaned over me, and pulled my blouse open, buttons flying to the left and the right. I cried out in ecstatic alarm, as I felt his cock head touching my still-throbbing pussy. I immediately began to cum, and as I did, he pulled apart my bra and gripped at my bare breasts, his cock poised at the entrance to my pussy.

Santa stopped and looked me in the eye. "I can't go any further unless I know for sure this is what you want."

"Oh, god yes," I whined. "Fuck me!"

"No," he said, you don't understand. If I fuck you, you have to stay with me, all the time...all your life."

"Oh god, I don't care!" I cried, writhing on the bed, "Fuck me!"

"Do you want it, baby?" He asked again.

"Yes, yes! I want it, Santa, anything. Please fuck me...oh god, yes, I want it."

Santa pushed his dick into me slowly. It was so big...I cried out as his thick cock slid deep inside me, and I suddenly tightened around him as I reached for him, clawing at him. As he sank fully into me, I wrapped my legs around him and thrust my hips up hard.

I saw a blinding flash of white-hot light, and I screamed with incomparable pleasure as my body shuddered and I could feel my cum bursting from the depths of my body, and drenching him.

As I thought each sensation to him, he yelled and thrust hard into me. Suddenly his cock swelled even bigger, and I could feel a sensation like his cock was rippling deep inside of me. He shuddered, moaning, and gasping, as he filled me with an impossible quantity of semen, and collapsed on top of me.

We lay there unable to move, for what seemed a deliciously long time, and finally Santa got up, opened the glove box, and took out a towel, two cold beers, and a pack of cigarettes.

This was the best.

When we landed at the North Pole, Santa took me to his bedroom and handed me a Christmas present, wrapped in white, and tied with a big red bow.

"Go on," he said smiling. "Open it."

It was a red velvet dress trimmed in ermine at the neckline, cuffs, and hem. It was beautiful. I had never seen anything like it.

"Put it on." He said, smiling.

I stepped into the gown and he zipped me up. It was gorgeous.

"It's beautiful." I said, kissing him. "Thank you."

"Well come on, let's introduce you to my...our elves."

I understood suddenly what he meant when he said I would be staying with him all the time....all my life, as he took me to meet the elves, introducing me as Mrs. Claus.

So nowadays, I am still up at the North Pole, with my Husband, Santa, and he fucks me every night and every day just the way I want it, and I'm starting to be able to read his thoughts, too. Not as well as he reads mine, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. The sex is amazing, the elves make me everything I could ever ask for, and I don't even have to cook or clean.

Life is great.

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