The Neallys Ch. 03: Kathleen Nelson

This is the third part of a multi-part story. The first five parts are the initial book. I am adding parts as things develop with these characters. This part begins the day after part 2 ends. There is zero sex in this part, which deals with a mother's struggle to accept her daughter.

Kathleen Nelson: A Mother's Struggle

Sunday, 1 p.m.

Early on the afternoon on the day after Eileen Neally was engaged and Mary Nelson and Betty Elliot had their pre-wedding party, the three women sat in Mary and Betty's living room in Yonkers to discuss a topic each often thought about but did not speak about. Eileen brought it up in a call that morning to Mary, and Mary agreed with her that the time was ripe for talking.

The issue was Suzanne and Suzanne's mother and specifically Suzanne's estrangement from her parents. Mary, Suzanne's father's older sister, was long separated from her brother and sister-in-law. It went way back, when Suzanne's father, William, was in high school and Mary a sophomore at Berkeley. Mary was exiled when she was in college and her mother stumbled on her nearly naked with a woman who was not her roommate. Her connection with her parents was terminated at the earliest possible moment, and she moved to New York, alone, and built her life there thirty years ago. She was marrying Betty in six days.

Before Suzanne moved to New York some twenty months earlier, she saw Mary just twice, once at a cold Thanksgiving dinner with her family and once at a warm lunch she had alone with her Aunt the next day. Suzanne was in high school and they spoke and wrote to one another frequently in the ensuing years.

Mary was always careful to tell Suzanne not to abandon her parents, that what they did to her they did because they believed their faith required them to, as her late parents' faith, they thought, required them to as well. But she could not control Suzanne's emotional turmoil. Suzanne knew she was gay well before she came out to anyone, and she had an almost visceral revulsion about how her parents treated her Aunt and how they would treat her when, or if, they learned.

And when the three women sat in the living room, Suzanne had had little contact with her parents. It was only six months earlier that Suzanne re-opened communications with her younger brother, Eric, a senior in high school in Mill Valley, attending Yale in September.

So the question long avoided had to be answered. If Suzanne was ever to resume contact with her parents, it probably had to be now. Which raised the hard question of how and the even harder question of what to say to Suzanne about it, if anything.

Suzanne was a woman who could take care of herself and make her own decisions. Yet. Suzanne had suffered at the long estrangement of her Aunt Mary and seemed to have moved on. Her parents might become important to her, but right now the three women were afraid to open old wounds. They agreed that thrusting Suzanne into it directly would do far more harm than good, perhaps making the separation permanent. It would be best, they decided, to approach her mother initially to see if there was a chance at rapprochement and take it one-step-at-a-time before dropping the bomb on Suzanne. Which, of course, meant that Kerry could not know either. To the question of what would happen if Suzanne found out they decided to address that when they got to it.

Betty raised two final objections. First, if she knew, would Suzanne's mother do anything to disrupt things? After Mary said she thought it unlikely they agreed it was a risk worth taking.

More important, they would be outing Suzanne to her mother, and likely her father. Wrong as that was, though, they decided to sacrifice it to what they thought and hoped would be the greater good.

And it was agreed. Eileen would call Suzanne's mother. Betty was too far away. Mary was too close. Eileen was Kerry's mother and it was all about convincing Suzanne's mother how important she was to Suzanne. Mary found her brother's information and with some work they were able to get a number for Kathleen Nelson in Mill Valley, California.

As she drove back to Chappaqua where she'd make the call, Eileen thought-and-thought yet was never satisfied that she knew what to say.

Sunday, 4 p.m.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kathleen Nelson?

"Yes, it's Kate. And with whom am I speaking?"

"Kathleen...Kate, you do not know me. My name is Eileen Neally and I'm calling from New York." Pause. "I'm calling about Suzanne."

"Suzanne? Is something wrong? Is she alright?" A myriad of possibilities, each worse than the other, immediately raced through Kate's brain.

"Kate, Suzanne is fine. My daughter is a friend of hers, they met in law school."

"Why are you calling? I haven't heard from Suzanne in over a year. I just get bits and pieces from her brother. Why—"

"Kate, my daughter is more than Suzanne's friend...My daughter, Kerry, is engaged to marry Suzanne." Pause.

"That's a lie. You know nothing about my dau—"

"Mrs. Nelson, please just listen. I'm trying to help."

"This is about Mary, isn't it? I told William that was a mistake. If Suzanne wants to speak to me—"

"Suzanne doesn't know I'm calling—"

"I don't know why you and Mary are doing it but it is not going to work."

And with that, the line went dead.

In her kitchen, Kate stared at her phone. This was insane. Why was this stranger taunting her? Suzanne would never have allowed this to happen, for someone to call her out of the blue. Suzanne would have called or emailed or used Eric as a messenger. It just made no sense. Unless...

She never should have allowed William to invite his sister to the house on Thanksgiving those years ago, allowed that creature to meet and seduce her niece, entice her to New York, and whomever this woman was—she did not get the name—Mary was mixed up in it.

Her heart skipped a beat. What if it were true? Of course, it was not. But what if it were true? Sitting in the kitchen where she took the call, Kate flung her nearly-empty cup against the wall and glared as it scattered into a million pieces. She was glad her husband was playing golf. And then she did something that she had often done in the last two years. She cried and cried.

Eric was in his room when he heard the crash. He raced to the kitchen, where his mother sat weeping and he saw the scattered remains of a coffee cup on the floor and traces of coffee on the wall. He often heard his mother cry in her bedroom and caught her doing so in the kitchen once or twice. She was almost always in control of her emotions. He knew this was about his sister.

Since reconnecting with Suzanne last Thanksgiving, he spoke to her frequently. She was thrilled when he told of getting early-admissioned into Yale and she'd sent enthusiastic comments, always laced with pointed, but accurate, "observations" when he posted performance videos of some of his piano gigs on YouTube. Sometimes they use Skype, and Kerry often dropped into the conversations now and then. Eric thought she was kind of hot, which he would never dream of telling Suzanne, and Kerry thought he was kind of handsome, which she made a point of telling Suzanne ("just in case, you know, I get traded back to the other team").

Eric's calls with his sister were in the privacy of his room. His parents knew they regularly spoke, but everyone observed a strict don't-ask/don't-tell policy. Beyond that, Eric and Suzanne often talked about what he could or should tell their parents. Angry as she was about how her parents treated their Aunt Mary, and aware that Aunt Mary always insisted that Suzanne not permanently cut her parents off, Suzanne thought it best to keep the information that Eric passed on as generic as possible. That information did not include the fact that she was engaged to Kerry. That was something that she treasured. Eric assured her that he only told them that she and Kerry were "the best of friends" and to queries about Suzanne's love life he told them that Suzanne never spoke to him about that, which was pretty true, to Eric's relief.

Something had changed.

"Mother?" Eric carefully asked as he approached her.

She suddenly stopped crying and she turned to glare at him. "Is it true? Is Suzanne planning to marry some woman from school? Is it?"

Now Eric was shocked. Eric knew it was true but obviously Suzanne had not told their mother or their mother would not be reacting as she was now; she would have known it was true. Who told her? If he told her it was true, she would go off on him for knowing and not telling her. Suzanne had not appreciated that she put her brother in this very position should her mother learn of her engagement to Kerry, but she had not imagined that she would find out until, and if, Suzanne herself decided to tell her. Who else could have told?

"Mother, Suzanne told me about Kerry—"

"'Kerry? Is that the friend's name?"

"Yes, mother. Kerry. And it's true. I don't know how you found out but—"

"You knew and you did not tell me?" Eric expected that. He was not expecting her to say, "that Kerry's or whatever-her-name-is's mother decided to throw it at me."

Eric was surprised again. Kerry's Mom talked to his mother? Had Suzanne or Kerry put her up to it? This was something that he had to step back from until he could figure out what was going on.

"She called out of the blue and dropped the bomb, that 'Suzanne is engaged to my daughter.' Bitch. She said that Suzanne did not know she contacted me." That answered one of Eric's questions. "She wanted to lord it over me."

"Mother," he responded, "does this sound like Suzanne? Of all the people in the world, do you think Suzanne would be a party to something vindictive?"

"But she's changed. She went to New York, started hanging with your Aunt and this girlfriend"—she spit it out—"and she changed, dropping out of school and not coming home."

"Mother. Listen to yourself. We both know that Suzanne wouldn't change in a way that would lead her to do what you are saying she did."

"I didn't say SHE did it. That BITCH said she knew nothing about it."

"And do you think that Suzanne would fall in love with someone whose mom would be like that? Do you?

"Look," Eric continued, "whenever I speak with Suzanne, she's very careful about what she wants me to let you know. I think she was afraid to tell you that she is engaged to Kerry. She still resents what you and especially father did to Aunt Mary. She's told me several times that Aunt Mary has forgiven both of you and moved on, but Suzanne is still angry about it. I think she thinks that if she forgives you two she'll be saying what you did was okay."

"I'm sorry, Eric, but your Aunt did something that was wrong and that we could not tolerate—"

"Mother, don't you see? You're saying that what Suzanne is doing is wrong and cannot be tolerated. How can you be surprised that she feels that you won't tolerate her? That you won't ever invite her here as you never did after that Thanksgiving with Aunt Mary? How can you wonder that Suzanne couldn't take the chance that you and father would formally disown her like Grandpa and Grandma Nelson disowned Aunt Mary."

"You know about that?"

"I told you, there's a lot that Suzanne tells me and there's a lot that Aunt Mary tells Suzanne. And, mother, I have spoken with Suzanne's Kerry. She's doesn't seem as sweet as Suzanne but who is? But I can't imagine that Suzanne would fall in love with someone who would be like you're saying or whose mother would be like you're saying about Kerry's Mom.

"But here's the thing. None of that matters."

"Of course it matters," Kate Nelson retorted.

"It doesn't. Wherever Suzanne is she's not here. Mother, she is not coming back. She is never coming back. She is happy. She is in love."

Then it came out. "Do you think my going to Yale and not going to Stanford was because I want to go to New Haven? I need to get away too, just like Suzanne did."

His mother was stunned.

"I love you and I love father. When I'm with you, though, I feel like I'm drowning. I know you are both trying your best. But I'm drowning here. And then I talk to Suzanne and I hear how happy she is and I want a piece of that happiness."

"Fine," was the response. "Go to your sister. Go to your Aunt. Just go." And with that, his mother grabbed her keys, fled the kitchen, stormed out of the house, and drove away.

Sunday, 4:30 p.m.

While the two Nelsons spoke in California, Eileen was on the phone to Mary in New York. She reported that it went pretty much as they expected. Badly. It had to be done and now it would be up to Kate Nelson to decide whether she wanted to attempt to get back into her daughter's life. Eileen said, "I'm not surprised but I hoped I could have established some connection with that woman."

Mary said, "you haven't met that woman. I have. Let me know what happens," and the call ended.

Sunday, 4:40 p.m.

Back in Mill Valley after Kate Nelson stormed out, Eric sat in the kitchen. He was stunned. What had just happened? He did not mean to say any of that about himself and why we were heading east, true as it was. What happened?

He had to speak to someone. Not Suzanne.

"Hello, Mary Nelson."

"Aunt Mary?" It was a tentative voice.

"Eric! My god. What's wrong?" Eric would not be calling her unless something was wrong. She had just hung up with Eileen. It had to be something after Eileen's call to Mill Valley.

"Do you have a minute? I need to speak to someone."

"Eric, what is it?"

Eric told her about the conversation he had with his mother. He never called his Aunt before and only met her once, but he had asked Suzanne to give him her number "just in case."

"This is more than I can handle. I didn't mean to tell her about why I'm coming east but it just came out. I can't talk to Suzanne just yet about it because...because it involves Kerry and her Mom and it's spinning out of control."

Fuck. Eric. They hadn't thought about Eric. Now he's freaking out, stuck in the house with just his parents. So Mary felt horrible for him and also worried that their whole screening-idea would blow up and things would be far worse than they were before Eileen made the phone call.

There was only one thing that Mary could say. She told Eric that she knew Eileen called his mother and that Suzanne did not know, that they were trying to get Suzanne and her mother to start at least talking again, and that they held out the hope, however slim, that they could actually meet. She said that whatever happened would happen soon and asked Eric to keep it to himself if he could and to call her at any time if he needed to speak to someone about it.

Eric said he felt better for knowing what the hell was going on and that he'd continue to keep as low a profile as possible and definitely would not tell Suzanne about it. "I just hope that I can have some semblance of a family again," and with that, he hung up.

Sunday, 6 p.m.

It was about an hour-and-a-half after she'd finished her call with Mary when her phone rang. It was Kate Nelson. Eileen knew she couldn't let it go although she had no idea what Kate would say or what she would say in response.

"Ellen?"

"Eileen."

"Eileen. I spoke to Eric"—Mary had told Eileen of her call with her nephew so she wasn't surprised—"and he admitted that some of what you say is apparently true. I do not understand, though, what you want from me. You want me to bless whatever is—" The voice was rising when it was cut-off.

"Kate, I have no idea what I expect you to do. At this point, I just want to talk like civilized people. Can we just try that?"

There was a pause on the line and then, again, "what do you want from me?"

"Kate, you sound like you're pacing. Could you just sit for a second?"

"Okay. I'm sitting. You know I can never accept what has been done to Suzanne. It is immoral and it is wrong and it's you and my sister-in-law and who-knows-who-else that's behind it." Eileen was letting her run. "We are good, faithful people. We raised Suzanne to be a good person and we never understood what would happen if she left us and now we know."

To Kate, it was a muddle. She could not think. In her darkest moments, she could not imagine anything like this. Suzanne would be gone for three years and then she'd return. She'd live in San Francisco for a few years and get married and move to some affordable part of Marin County. They'd see each other and she'd have grandchildren and the house would be filled on Christmas. And now. This.

And she was on the phone with this fucking bitch who had some role in what happened to Suzanne. And why was she on the phone with this fucking bitch? Why had she called her? To get Kate's blessing? She would never get that. And she probably knew it. She was calling because she wanted Kate to know that Suzanne didn't need her anymore. Did not need her own, loving mother anymore. And Kate was on the phone with this woman and she had to say something. Something to keep her talking like she was a hostage negotiator, with Suzanne as the hostage.

So Kate decided to play nice. Kate was very good at playing nice.

"I'm sorry Eileen. Heally is it?"

"Neally, with an 'N.' And your daughter. Kerry?"

"Yes, Kerry Neally."

"I have tried to get in touch with my daughter but for some reason, I can't. Could you just ask her to call me? I'm sure this can all be straightened out."

Eileen was no fool. "If Suzanne wants to speak to you, she has your number. Look, she hasn't called you for ages and she's been engaged for six months and she hasn't thought to call you so what I'm doing, without telling her, is trying to make it so the two of you can get together and have some sort of life together cause right now you and she have zero life together. You can just blow me off and hang up and that's fine. I will have done my whole I'm-a-mother thing and I won't lose a minute of sleep if I never speak to you again. Okay.

"So, again, I'm throwing this out to you. Take it or leave it. I only care because I care for Suzanne and think down the road she will care about it even if she has already written you and her father off. So get off your high horse and talk to me."

Kate had let Eileen have her run and she'd never been spoken to like this. She wanted to tell this bitch to go fuck herself and hang up. There was silence, and Eileen was not doing anything about it. Kate needed time, so she asked Eileen for a time to call tomorrow, Monday, and it was agreed on.

Eileen added one thing. "Please. Let's keep Eric out of this okay? He spoke to Mary and—"

"He what?"

"Apparently he called Mary after you stormed out and Mary told him to lay low until the dust settles. Okay. So just...can we just keep him out of it?"

And Kate said yes and the two women hung up. Neither of them slept well and Eileen did not tell Tommy and Kate did not tell William what was bothering them.

Monday, 1 p.m.

At one on Monday, ten in Mill Valley, Kate called Eileen. Eileen was in her office with the door shut. Kate was in her living room. Eileen regretted starting this thing and thought it best to just end it. She simply asked Kate, "What do you want to do?"

Kate, in hostage-negotiator mode, wanted to keep going. She started talking about how wonderful Suzanne was and how important Suzanne was to her and how much she missed Suzanne and—

Eileen cut her off.

"Kate, it's a simple question. What do you want to do? What? If you want to get back with Suzanne, there is only one thing you can do. Get on a plane and come to New York. You have got to meet with Eileen and with Mary—"

At Kate's attempt to interrupt, Eileen rolled on, "I know you hate her, but you will never get to Suzanne without Mary's help, and I promise you that Mary wants to help even if you don't believe it."