The Neighbour's Gardener

"Is that how you found out?" It was me who felt foolish now.

"No, I was pretty certain before then but that was the clincher. Our phone bills were suddenly larger so I checked the detail and found these hours long calls on Wednesday night while I was out. So I rang the number and somebody called Trevor Wilkins answered – that rather threw me. So I rang again on a Wednesday from a house where I was giving a party and a woman answered saying, 'Phil is that you'. I pretended I was a wrong number but found out her name. It was familiar so I started doing a bit of detective work. I checked your company magazine and sure enough, I found her and where she worked."

Ann paused, got one of my cigarettes, lit and then continued. "When you said you were going on an overnight course I was immediately suspicious even though I had never given it a thought on all the previous occasions. The night you were away, I rang the place you were meant to be but they said that you were not booked in. Then I rang the number for Janice, spoke to her husband and asked to talk to her but he said that she was away on a course. That was it until the Barclaycard statement arrived and I could not believe how stupid you had been. Unluckily for you, that afternoon your brother turned up while the words 'Sauce', 'Gander' and 'Goose' were very much in my mind. You know the rest."

So, my wife had been getting her own back for something that I had not done but did that give me any right to feel aggrieved. I may not have committed the act with Janice but the intent was there. If she had been all over me like a rash in that motel room, would I still have chickened out? Apart from that, the telephone sex, all that mutual verbalising about what we would like to do to each other was not so far removed morally from actually doing it. In a way I should be grateful that Ann had thought to keep her revenge within the family.

I could not think of anything to say so got up to refill both of our glasses. There was something niggling at the back of my mind but I could not quite put my finger on it. Then, as I regained my seat, it suddenly came to me. "When you told me about Gary, you used the words 'For a start'?" I queried.

In a flat, matter of fact voice Ann told me, "Near Xmas that year I was doing a party. Usually males are told to keep out of the house but this woman's partner who worked on oil rigs, arrived home unexpectedly and was allowed to stay. During the evening he popped in and out with refreshments while I was modelling and the women were trying on samples. They got used to him and weren't bothered by him seeing them. As I was leaving he took me on one side and said, if I returned the next afternoon wearing the last outfit then he would have it off me. I guessed that he wanted more than just buy nickers but I fancied him so turned up as requested and of course his wife was out. He had the pants off me literally but afterwards he bought a load of other stuff - it was a cracking sale. Six months later I did another party at that house and again went back the next day for a special order."

My heart was sinking. I could just about cope with the news about my brother but this further revelation was filling with despair. "Any others?" I heard myself say.

"There was the window cleaner," Ann said a small smile playing round her lips at the memory. "Again it was the lingerie. I had a new delivery and was trying it on in the bedroom when I heard his ladder against the window. I carried on and tried on everything, pretending that I didn't know he was watching. When I went back downstairs he knocked on the door asking for water but he could hardly walk because of the thing in his pants. The least that I could do was invite him in and help him with it.

We've had our windows cleaned for free ever since."

A kind of numbness was enveloping my brain. "Is that all?" I asked but now knowing, almost for certain, that it was not all."

"You don't want to hear any more - to be honest I'm not sure that I can remember. The thing is that, knowing about Janice, I was pretty sure that you were at it yourself. I've worked in an office myself and know that, in that environment, everybody is into each other. Also, I had no idea how many there had been before Janice, I only knew that I had a lot of catching up to do. "

I just sat, slowly shaking my head from side to side. I think that I had closed my eyes.

"Don't you start going all morose on me," Ann said sharply as if my reaction was without justification.

"I must admit that I felt like that when first knowing about Janice but after the first time with Gary I began to see sense. It was only a bit of mutual pleasure. I had done no harm to you and you were doing no harm to me. I still loved you just as much and I could see no reason why your feelings should have changed. I once drove over and parked near where Janice lives to see what she looks like. I honestly can't blame you. If I was a man I would have liked a roll with her too." Ann thought a bit and added, "I could fancy a roll with her as I am."

"Do you want to know what happened between me and Janice," I asked.

My wife shook her head. "I don't want to know about Janice or anything else that you have done.

If it is less than I suspect, it might make me feel guilty and if it's more, I'd rather not know. The thing is that it doesn't matter a bit. If you really love someone than you should not want to deny them pleasure. That is the big thing that is wrong with a system which demands married exclusivity."

"Now that you have told me, are you going to stop doing it?"

"I do not see why I should. As I said, I like doing it – I like doing it a lot," Ann said honestly. "That is the only really upsetting thing about our earlier visitor. If he had knocked on the door at any time during the week, I would have let him fuck me with pleasure - there was no reason why you should have been involved and forced to watch. I actually think that he had planned it differently and was taken by surprise to find you with me."

I felt surprisingly at ease within myself. There was no use crying over spilt milk, (especially as Ann was correct in saying that there was no harm done) and I could see advantages in the reciprocal freedom that she was offering. The earlier event, Ann's disclosures and prospects for the future, all suddenly combined to make me incredibly aroused.

Ann noticed. "The circumstances may not have shown him at his best but our friendly neighbourhood rapist was not much good as a lover. He has barely got me warmed up, so – if you're not too fastidious, perhaps you would like to finish the job," she said with a certain smile.

****

On the following Wednesday night I rang an old number. "This is Phil, remember me?" I asked when she answered.

"Phil, I am so glad you called. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I have got my own car now you know," Janice told me happily.