The Obsession

It was Friday morning and I was trying to work but I was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate. I was working in the real estate office where I work part-time and being late spring there was a bevy of activity around me, and on my desk. There was a bevy of activity in my mind, and in my pants, too, thanks to Michael.

Ever since he came back into my life, we were friends in high school over 20 years ago and had reunited for a quick lunch about a month ago, my heart raced and my mind staggered with possibilities, fantasies and fear, yes fear. You see, here’s an interesting thing; about a year ago Michael wrote a story called “Love and the Fear Genie,” a story about conquering fear to get to love, and how the two oppose each other. The story really struck a chord with me, it was my favorite of all his stories, at least of that type and I told him that when we had lunch the first time.

It has occurred to me that the story was also responsible for triggering some emotion in me that made me desirous of seeing him again. You see my marriage has gone bad, probably irretrievable so, and I was either looking for a fresh perspective or fresh meat, although the latter was undoubtedly an unconscious need, something that I tried to deny.

I can’t recall the last time my husband Glen and I made love, and I honestly can’t recall what I felt for Michael when we first had lunch, it seems so long ago and far away as they say, compared to my feelings now, but I will say Cleopatra is not the only Queen of Denial. I can admit this, from the time I read that story, something inside me awoke, and although I didn’t know it then, I was receptive to him, only he didn’t know it at first.

His story, and his words since were like a beacon to me, a light shining brightly towards a future, a destiny, that was the word he always used with me, and I knew that was what I needed and wanted, although I did say “ I don’t know what I want”, to him a lot.’ He’s smart enough to know I don’t mean that, in fact the other night we had exchanged some kisses in my car, funny thing at 40 necking in your car like high schoolers, especially with someone you went to school with. Anyway, he told me he knew what I wanted. And when I asked what that was he said, “to be in Love.’ I had to agree with him.

“Melissa, are those ads ready to go to the printer yet?” It was my boss.

“Almost, Mic-, I mean Tim. Give me 15 minutes.”

He nodded and walked away. I shook my head. God, I just need to let him have me and get it over with, I thought. But I was so afraid, the fear genie had me tightly clamped and I wasn’t ready yet, at least not to make love. I might be ready for some action and as I looked over the ads one more time I thought about a fantasy he told me of, him jerking off and me crawling catlike across the floor towards him, finally coming to rest right below his cock, rising up on hind legs enough to perhaps lightly lick his balls. I pictured him naked, God I’d love to see his hard body in all it’s glory, to run my hands along his thighs and to feast of him with my eyes and take it all in to store to memory, so I could have him anytime I wanted in my dreams.

I finished the ads and brought them into Tim’s office and as I walked I felt slipperiness in my crotch. Michael said I looked as if I invented sex, what a nice compliment I thought, but to be honest I kind of felt I had. All I needed was a partner, an equal, both in expertise and desire, and I think I found him, but still was afraid. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him; Michael was a rare man, entirely worthy of my trust and respect. No, it wasn’t about him, this fear. It was mine and only I could beat it. In fact the thing about Michael was he was totally unafraid of intimacy and relationships, he had conquered his Fear Genie, he said.

At our first lunch together he told me the story of his lost love, Karen, and how he had lost her to the fear genie, but how he had triumphed over his and unsuccessfully proposed to her, even though he knew she would say no. He told me that was his finest hour, just doing that he had beaten all his fear and felt now he was really ready for love, all he needed was to find the right partner, that’s what he called it, not a wife or girlfriend, he always said partner. Huh, that’s what I was missing. Glen and I did everything separately, we even went to bed at different times, we lived entirely parallel, never meeting or touching. We didn’t go out together unless we had a party with common friends to go to, you see we went to high school together too. In fact, he and Michael were friends, they played football together. What would be my finest hour, I wondered?

I took a swig from my beer, a Corona, and blinked up at the afternoon soon. I had just finished talking to Melissa, and as usual I was trying to decipher her feelings. I knew what mine were, I was very in touch there, but I knew there was still a lot of ambivalence in her mind. I thought we were making some real connections, but sometimes I thought it could be just a fantasy that would never be reality.

The Fear Genie had a big hold on her, that I knew, and there was nothing I could do to free her.

That part she had to deal with herself. All I could do was try to provide the incentive to do so, which seemed to be working. We had made out in her car last night; I had to laugh at the notion of two 40 year olds making out in cars, especially when they knew each other in high school. Well, they say there are some things you are never too old for, and Love was one of them. That kind of crazy passion that makes you stay up all night talking or twisted into strange contortions in your car because you have no other place to make out, that was something I hoped to never outgrow.

My thoughts revisited that night in the car, and I think I have never seen beauty so close, I don’t think I have ever seen her look more beautiful for sure. We were restrained and respectful, as if we both feared getting too hot and heavy, we each knew what frenzied lust lay beneath the surface. I hoped she wanted me as badly as I wanted her, I was afraid to be getting in over my head here, I didn’t think I was, but you never can tell with women, that’s what makes them so intriguing, their mystery.

Lately I was having a lot of difficulty thinking of anything but her, I was definitely obsessed with her, I thought she was with me, after all we were talking pretty much every day and seeing each other as often as we could, exchanging an e-mail or two a day, it seemed as if I was on her mind as much as she was on mine. I thought of having sex with her, I knew when the time was right we would, but I didn’t know for sure it would be right, ever. I was almost afraid to think of that, what if after all this it didn’t go to that step’? Then I remembered the way she looked at me and the sexual nature of this woman and felt better, besides if it was meant to be it would be, and if not…

I picture her undressing for me having finally decided and there wasn’t any barriers between us now, she was coming for me and she was now naked, her large breasts, her new tan all over, and her fresh shaved pussy were too much to take in all at once, and then there were those eyes, those bedroom eyes, and those luscious lips, those were enough all by themselves. The whole effect made me start to get hard, and I patted myself for good measure. This was a woman you did not let get away if you could help it.

What had happened to her marriage I wondered? Glen was a passive man, more inclined to accept than make things happen. Melissa I knew needed something much stronger than that to reclaim her lost self. I knew all about that, for I was finding mine every day, and I knew I could help her along the way.

First, though, I just had this great fantasy, of simply lying in bed with Melissa, both of us naked and under the covers, lying on our sides and looking at each other, maybe just holding each other or her putting her head on my chest, maybe even spooning, one of my favorite things. It had been a long tome for both of us, and when I told her about this fantasy she seemed to respond to it imagining it dreamily. I imagined it would be wonderful to kiss her that way, kiss those beautiful lips and then her neck, by the way she has a gorgeous neckline, long, lean, and tan, and you can see the arteries that you would lick and suck like roadways that would lead you to more promising alleys. I’m sure after some kissing she would be wet, and I’d let my hands start to work my way down and then back up, teasing her nipples and stomach and thighs, I would really take my time and measure every reaction. I could imagine her breathing getting heavier, she’s so sexy this way, and the inside of her hips would now come into play, and then I’d curl one arm around her hip and playfully squeeze the bottom of her ass, near the part where the wetness comes from and I pull her really close and kiss her very deeply and stop to make her look at me, just to have her look right at me, and then I’d relax back down and make it start all over again.

Just to have her that close with no barriers and staring into those smoldering black eyes would be amazing. Knowing that I was making her smolder, and that I was responsible for this boiling cauldron of passion simmering next to me was more gratifying to me that I can say. Damn, I was obsessed, in a controlled way, waiting for the obsession to be fulfilled was the hardest thing, but the ride was worth it.

I got home from work and noticed it was almost 2:30; damn the kids will be home soon I thought. I threw my purse on the table and went into the family room to check my e-mail. I trembled as I got online and grew excited at seeing an e-mail from Michael. I was really starting to look forward to his e-mails and especially his stories, he’d write the best erotic stories for me, usually 1-2 a week, and I read and re-read them until they were committed to memory, especially the juicy parts and the detail he used in writing them.

I fucked myself silly after reading these stories, he knew exactly what I liked, I don’t know how, and he wrote it in such an emotional manner it was obvious there was a lot of passion in him, and it was equally apparent that he really understood women and knew how to please them.

I knew from his kiss that he would be great orally, and I grew wetter as I imagined him between my legs, and tasting me for the first but not last time, and I pictured him licking me and looking up at me with those piercing blue eyes and his strong arms and soft hands around me cupping my ass as he made love to my clit with his skilled tongue, teasing me lightly around my lips and then just grazing across my clit and then circling more and more until he zeroed in on it and made me swell with pleasure. I opened myself up for him and released more of my juiciness until I was flowing like a river, and then I felt one of his hands come off my ass and gently rub my lips and then a finger was inside me and finding it’s way to the upper wall of my vagina and there he was circling my G-spot and finding it and making me squirm and then I couldn’t help myself I was bucking and coming and holding his head and I screamed his name,” Michael!”, the way he liked me too, and I fucked his tongue while he fingered my pussy.

God, I wanted his big cock inside me so bad, and so far in that our souls would touch and to kiss him at that time,,,, I would come again and again and again for him all over his cock and I’d ride him until he exploded in me and could give me no more.

Damn, I think I was getting obsessed! My pussy dripped with obsession, or was it possession I wanted?

I opened the e-mail, there was a short note from him; a poem had come to him and he was sending it to me, as a gift. I won’t tell you the whole thing it’s too private, but it was called,” Heart Clues,” and it was about trusting your heart and conquering your fear and choosing love and exploring our destiny together and all the wonderful things a girl never tires of hearing and I found myself swooning a bit and then what I did next surprised me but I started getting undressed and running up the stairs, but I remembered to close the e-mail first and save it so I could have it to re-read anytime I wanted to know how much he cared for me.

When I got upstairs I finished undressing throwing clothes everywhere and found my vibrator from the box on the shelf and I stuck the end in my mouth to wet it but also because it reminded me of Michael and how eagerly I awaited the next step, yes I would make Love to him, and taste him and rip his clothes off and ride him and cuddle with him and let him spoon me, and fuck me any which way he wanted and so I fucked my vibrator like it was Michael and my pussy squeezed him tightly as if she didn’t want to let go ever and she didn’t and then I changed the angle as I imagined he would know to do and it was hitting me just right but I wanted more so I squatted on my knees and put Michael beneath me and watched his cock go in and out of me as I thrust down on him and then this did not last too long as I could feel our orgasms getting closer and the girl in the mirror was out of control, was that me? And then her pussy was screaming with pleasure as the first wave of coming started and it just kept coming and coming and coming and I lost track after ten and it was almost as if I could feel him beneath me and his hands on me but I looked down and he wasn’t there and I so wished he was I wanted him to kiss so much, and ride him and look into his eyes, but he wasn’t there, and I knew that I had to let him in there and he could complete me and that’s what I needed.

Finally I stopped and threw the vibrator on the floor in disgust and lay back on the bed. Michael was right, I knew what I wanted. “To be in Love,” he said, and as usual, he was right. Damn, this was an obsession, sheer obsession.

It was Tuesday and I was trying to get some work done, but obsession with Melissa rendered me useless, at least for work. I hadn’t been able to see her since that last night in her car, and I missed her badly. I couldn’t wait to look into those eyes again and see their smoldering beauty, to look deep into her soul and see things only I could see in her, because for some reason I think God had given me the power to know this woman beyond what I should, he had empowered me to help heal her, and to do that I had to understand her first.

I don’t know for sure how I’m doing all this, or how well I’m doing it, but I have never felt this connected with someone’s needs, and that’s saying a lot. I pictured her lips, they were the instrument that would complete the bridge between our souls, for I knew at the point she would give herself to me her lips would be the primary means of doing so.

The other night she had lightly kissed me face and it was as if angels were stroking me with their wings, that’s how it felt, and I dreamed of the day when she would take those kisses down my body, perhaps pulling off my shirt and going down my well muscled shaven chest, she would marvel at the smoothness and the definition of my body and I would throw back my head and marvel at her tickling kisses around my nipples, they were small but they would be hard, and then I imagined her working down my stomach lower and lower still. And then she would unbuckle my belt and teasingly unzip my pants, maybe taking my cock in her mouth while it was still inside my boxer briefs.

By now I was rock hard and waited while I hoped she would take it from it’s cage and slide my prick gently into her mouth, and at this point I would know that glorious union again of hearts and bodies, as she discovered the kind of man I was, and we each re-discovered how it was to be wanted again. She stroked my shaft and looked up at me as she played with my cock, and if I told you she was beautiful before I didn’t lie, but this was even more beauty than I could fathom, and to see her possess me, yes, I knew that’s what she yearned for, and I would grant it, willingly.

I thought the first time she might want to just please me, maybe start slowly this way so I allowed myself to picture her taking all of me in her mouth and letting her tongue drag across the underside of my head ,and I knew she would know just how to please me, because I knew, I just knew that God had probably granted her the same power towards me as he had given me towards her and in no time she had me wanting to come to give all of myself to her but I was determined to hold back and not let this end you see I wanted more now that she was there I could see no reason for us not to join our souls in the deepest soul kiss of all time and of course I needed to be inside to do that.

Gratefully, she surrendered and let me in, peeling off her clothes as she needed to, first her pants and then her silk panties, and then she just swung a leg over mine and came down on my cock just right with her soaked pussy and we locked in the greatest kiss I’ve ever had and the fucking was so amazing too that I pulled her over me until I could not get any deeper in her. She took all of me and then started to withdraw until I was almost out and than thank God she would come back down and I must say I’ve never been so grateful to have been a man as I would be just then!

I suddenly looked at the clock and noticed it was almost eleven, and I had not done a damn thing all morning except to think of her. There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it.

As I opened the door, she stood before me, DRESSED in a black rain coat and black heels, her dark hair with the butterscotch tint glistened at me and she really did look more beautiful to me than any woman I had ever seen. Her eyes smiled at me with pure pleasure as we both knew why she had come.

As I let her in I held the door open for her knowing that she had come into my life for a reason, and today was the beginning of really finding out what that reason was, and where our destiny would lead us.

As I closed the door after us, I realized too that things would never be the same for us, that we were in this thing together.

TO BE CONTINUED………………………………………………..