The Office Christmas Party

I took my hands from Martin's body and groped around for his clothes scattered around me on the floor. I bundled them together and stood in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Don't stop now!" he pleaded.

"It's okay," I said as sweetly as I could, "I'm not going to."

I walked over to the window and opened it, and with a light toss I threw his shirt, trousers, underwear and socks down onto whatever lay three stories below. I think it might be the planting by the entrance but I'm not entirely sure. Since I was topless I didn't feel like leaning out of the window to look.

"Those are my clothes!" he said pointlessly. I nodded.

"You bitch!" He had turned very suddenly.

"Oh, come now," I told him, "There was so little difference in the sales figures, surely we can both spend the evening naked?"

I would love to see what everyone would think of Martin wandering naked around the party. Sure, he had a great body, but did everyone really want that monster of an erection waved in front of them in the middle of the party? Could he keep it at bay for an entire evening? I was pretty sure I could guarantee it made an appearance sooner or later...

An idea occurred to me that I could wheel him across the office in that chair, put him in the elevator and send him down a floor. Maybe wrap a bow around that erection, just in case anyone didn't notice it first off. Thankfully, the soberest part of me realised that that would end very badly.

I pulled the door to the meeting room open.

"You can't leave me like this!" he protested, "How will I get out?" He wriggled his arms as if I'd forgotten the handcuffs around his wrists.

"Oh, yes, of course!" I said. I took the string that held the handcuff key from around my wrist and dangled it in front of him.

"Is this what you wanted?" I asked him. He looked at me blankly.

Now I can't believe this actually worked, but I tossed the key towards him, watching the string looping through the air, and I'm sure it happened in slow motion, but the loop fell exactly where I'd been aiming for right over the top of his penis. It slid down the shaft and stopped with the key hanging against his testicles.

"It must be the cowboy hat," I said with a tip of the brim as I turned and left. The door closed behind me.

I had no idea of knowing how long it might take Martin to get out of his predicament. The handcuffs were pretty solid, as was the chair, but my thinking was that once his erection had finally subsided the key would fall onto the chair, or the floor. I'm sure, somehow or other, he'd be able to get his hands on it and free himself. There was the small matter of retrieving his clothes, of course... But I'm sure he could work something out. Just as long as I didn't have to see his smug face again this evening.

I walked across the empty office and, for the first time since I had been naked that evening, I felt pretty chuffed with myself.

Suddenly the door that I was hoping to leave through was opened and Bryan, the chief executive, strode through. He was followed by the other Brian (tech support). Brian's eyes devoured by body, but Bryan had a serious look on his face.

"Natalie," Bryan said, "We've been looking for you. Well, not just you. Have you seen Martin?"

"I, uh... no. Why?" I've been told I blush when I lie, which is not a good trait in the advertising business, but I'd never been told how much of me blushed. I had a feeling my chest was radiating as much heat as my face.

Bryan looked at me suspiciously but it seemed that whatever the issue was, it was more important than questioning me. "There's a problem in Singapore. The Christmas media campaign for the Vuitton bag. Is that one of yours?"

I shook my head. "Martin's, I think."

"Good," he said. Why was that good, if Martin wasn't here? "Because it isn't Martin's any more. Apparently he started running a competitor's campaign side-by-side. And I'd hate for you to be the one I had to fire."

It's funny, that out of all the things that had happened that evening, running a conflicted campaign was the most shocking. It sounded as if Martin had risked the company's reputation by managing competing accounts. This could blow up beyond anything the business had ever experienced if we didn't set things right now.

"The rival campaign has only been running for a few hours," Bryan said, "And I'm about to call Singapore and explain why we've fucked up their Christmas advertising and what we plan to do about it. I need you there."

"Sure," I said, and Bryan strode past me with tech Brian in tow. My heart stopped for a moment until I realised they were heading to the large meeting room, not the small one that still contained a naked Martin. Hopefully he knew enough to stay quiet, however it was he was trying to escape. I turned and followed them and, I know it sounds bizarre, but in the heat of the moment I'd forgotten I was naked and should do something about it. This was just so important, and I suppose what better way to troubleshoot client problems than with a toy cowboy hat and a plastic gun, eh?

Bryan had already dialled the client and turned on the speakerphone when I entered the room. I sat at one end of the table with my legs crossed, suddenly reminded that I was naked as my buttocks sank into the leather chair covering.

"Gabriel. Good morning," Bryan began, "Or rather: not good morning, as it turns out." It was around ten at night here, which made it six in the morning in Singapore. This was pretty early even by their workaholic standards, which showed how important this was.

"I'm here with Brian from tech," he nodded at Brian, which was a bit pointless on a speakerphone. Although it was Brian's cue to say "hi!", which sounded far too cheery in the circumstances.

"And Natalie who's going to be taking over the account."

"Morning, Gabriel." I called out loudly so the microphone would pick it up. But my heart was racing now: I was going to be taking over the account? This was one of the biggest we had... there was no way Martin would be beating my sales figures next year. Oh yeah, I thought with glee, there was no way Martin was even going to be in the office from tomorrow.

"I'll let Natalie take things from here," Bryan said.

Me? This is the first I've heard about it and now I'm in charge? I guess it's a long time since Bryan was hands on with anything, and Brian could do what he was told with technology but was never going to be a decision-maker... so, yeah, I was the most qualified person in the room to sort this out. I took a deep breath.

"The first thing we need to do is to shut down the other campaign," I said loudly, looking at Brian to check we could do that. He nodded and took out his laptop and began to do I don't know what, but his fingers moved quickly enough over the keyboard to convince me that something was happening.

"Brian can do that," I said, since Brian hadn't confirmed it vocally.

"Wait, did you say Brian can't do that?" Gabriel called out, "The lines a bit crackly."

I stood and rested my palms on the table to lean closer to the microphone. I couldn't miss Bryan's eyes staring at my breasts hanging down above the shiny white surface and I caught a sight of my reflection in the table top, the cowboy hat still perched on my head. Ah, yes: I'm still naked. This is very surreal.

"No, Brian CAN do this."

"Ah, good, good... How long will it take?"

I looked at Brian for an answer. "Maybe half an hour, for all the servers to update, and..." He spoke so softly it was almost as if he didn't want to be heard on the other end so I cut him off.

"Maybe an hour," I called out loudly, adding a bit of padding for the inevitable tech problems. This gained me a thumbs up from Bryan (but not from Brian, who was back to the keyboard again).

"And what about our campaign?" Gabriel asked.

"That's running across all target sites," Bryan confirmed, "And will be unaffected."

"And what assurances do we have? I mean, you only found this out because we told you..."

"For one," Bryan said seriously, "Martin will no longer be running campaigns for us. Martin will not be running campaigns for anybody." I actually felt a tiny amount of sympathy for him. Only a tiny amount. "And it looks like he tried to bury the competitor account under a different company name to fly under the radar, hoping we wouldn't notice the conflict of interest. We're going to scour the accounts to make sure there aren't any more of those." Bryan looked at me, which meant I was going to be scouring the accounts. Oh joy: a bumper workload just before Christmas. "And I think we're going to have to keep tabs on our sales incentives in future."

The implications of what Bryan had just said sunk in: lower bonuses, perhaps? But the main thing was: if Martin had effectively cheated to win then I had effectively... won? Yes, it's sad, but it really mattered to me. I'd beaten Martin. Never mind that I'd spent the evening with the whole office ogling by body: I'd won. Not just best saleswoman, but best salesperson. I'd come to work naked every day for that.

"Okay, okay, I'll have to take your word for that," Gabriel said. Bryan looked at me and I saw the relief on his face: we weren't being sacked from the account.

"And one more question, for Natalie," Gabriel continued. I leant closer to the speakerphone, the edge of the table cutting into my thighs. "Why are you naked except for a cowboy hat and... is that a gun belt?"

I stood bolt upright. "What... how... How did you know?"

"Well... we can see you," Gabriel said, "And if there's one thing that's brightened up a disastrous morning here in Singapore, you're it."

I looked around the room. "But... we don't have video on?"

"Don't you? We do."

I wobbled the mouse for the conference call screen and saw, yes, Bryan had started the call with video transmitting. He just hadn't bothered opening the video that was being broadcast from their end.

"I... uh... it's our office party..." I explained weakly as if that explained everything. I sat down and crossed my arms over my chest to try to cover myself. I know it was a bit late for that but it was instinctive.

And then I began to wonder who exactly the "we" at the other end of the call was. I had only heard Gabriel's voice... I clicked on the video icon and up popped an image from Singapore; an image of a small meeting room, much like our own, with six men in suits sat around a table and staring up at a big screen on which, I presumed, was being broadcast the image of my naked body, huddled at the end of the large meeting table.

"Your parties look pretty fun!" Gabriel said into the speaker. Oh, jeez: and I was going to be managing this account from now on? I might never live this down.

"Gabriel," Bryan said loudly, "If we're done here, can we let you know when the campaign's shut down and you're running at one hundred percent."

"Sure, sure... Just keep us informed. I look forward to working with you, Natalie."

"Me too," I called back, and I put my head in my hands as Bryan hung up on the call.

"I'll stay here and let him know when it's done," I told him. At least that would mean I wouldn't have to go back to the party.

"Sure, sure," Bryan said with a smile. It was like he didn't even notice I was naked now as well. But then he looked me up and down and I realised that, happily married or not, he very much did notice I was naked. "Say, uh, shall I have one of the girls bring your clothes up for you?"

I grinned and nodded: I was free! I had won the bet, I had beaten Martin, and I could get my clothes back. "That would be great."

Bryan took his phone out of his pocked and dialled. It says something about the company culture that the receptionist, who was still downstairs at the party, would answer the chief exec's call no matter when or where it came.

"Sam... yeah, I'm upstairs... Yeah.... Could you find... you know Natalie's clothes were somewhere by the stage?... Yeah... Great... Can you bring them upstairs? In the meeting room. Thanks."

I smiled at him, filled with gratitude that I wouldn't have to face everyone like this again, joy that I was the best salesperson in the company, and above all the thrill of beating Martin. I. Beat. Martin.

But for all the happiness I felt, the party had already ended for me that night. I would have taken the cowboy hat and gun belt off except for the fact that it would kind of feel like a striptease in front of the Bryan/Brian pairing. It might be fun, but not really appropriate right now. Those two items were the closest things I'd had to clothes for the past couple of hours.

There was the sound footsteps approaching outside; the sound of high heels marching with purpose across the room. It would be Samantha with my clothes; Samantha my saviour.

I expected the meeting room door to open, but her figure flashed passed the window and I realised too late... as there was a loud, shocked scream... that Bryan hadn't mentioned which meeting room we were in. Well, Martin already had a lot of explaining to do, and being naked, helpless and handcuffed to a chair was the way I hoped the office would always remember him. I know Sam will always think of him that way.