The Old House Looked the Same

The old house looked the same, a welcome monument to permanence after all the changes that had occurred during my year in Vietnam. I paid the cab driver, shouldered my barracks bag and walked up the driveway to the back door. The garage stood empty, which went along with my phone calls from the airport going unanswered. Who would have been home anyway. Mom and Dad had both passed away now and only my next older brother was still living at home. Undoubtedly he was at work not knowing I'd arrived a day early. With nobody looking I got down on my knees and kissed the ground, tears welling out of my eyes in relief and happiness at having returned whole, my only wounds being spiritual.

Inside the door, Buddy, Dad's golden retriever was jumping against the back door, tail wagging, happy to see me. The key was still under the rock beside the door and I let myself in. Buddy forgot how old a dog he was. He jumped up, forepaws on my shoulders and licked my face. I'm glad to see you again too, buddy.

Nothing looked very different. Billy hadn't done anything to change things. He was doing a good job of housekeeping, too. Everything was neat and the carpet even appeared to have been vacuumed recently. Mom and Dad's room looked like they were still in residence. My old room still had every appearance of being home to a high school senior with athletic trophies, rock posters, and two Vargas pin-ups adorning the walls.

I walked into the kitchen and got a beer out of the refrigerator. I was in the throes of a classic case of jet lag and was seeing everything as if through a glass darkly. Except for being home, things hadn't lived up to my expectation. At the San Francisco airport someone actually spit on me for being in uniform.

Halfway through the beer I lay down on the davenport and slept with a kind of relief that sleep hadn't brought for the last year—a year of being constantly on the alert, and living with the awareness that each moment might be the last.

I hadn't seen Mary for the past year and now she was in my arms. When I reached into her panties, for once she didn't stop me, and suddenly we were naked together and my hard cock was finally where it had been longing to be ever since we met. It felt heavenly, just like I always knew it would, and it wasn't long before I was coming. Warm semen spurt into my khakis and I suddenly woke up. Just what I need: a puddle of warm jizz in my only civilian clothes.

My mind was slow in emerging from sleep. My hand checked, yes, there certainly was a wet spot. I sat up and suddenly noticed Billy sitting across the room. "Welcome home kid. We tried to meet you at the airport but there was an accident on the freeway and we were stuck there for three hours."

Sitting beside Billy was a dark haired woman. "Johnny, this is my fiancé, Margie. Margie has heard a lot about you, Billy."

"All lies," I said. I was only half awake, but awake enough to be embarrassed. Billy acted like nothing had happened.

"We let you sleep. I bet it feels good to be home, huh?"

"I kissed the ground, outside. I swear to God I did. I hope Buddy doesn't still shit in the backyard. Oops, excuse me, Marge. I'm going to have to get used to polite society again."

"Margie," said Billy.

"Huh?"

"I think you're going to find there isn't any such thing as polite society anymore. Things have changed while you were gone," said Margie.

"Margie, not Marge," said Billy.

I rubbed my eyes, feeling the granules of sleep in my eyes. "I'm feeling kind of groggy. Is it okay if I take a quick shower? Then I'd like to buy the two of you dinner."

"Shower, by all means, but you can't buy dinner; dinner is on me," said Billy.

"Come on, my wallet is stuffed with money I haven't been able to spend for the last year. Besides, you're saving up for law school."

"I am saving up, but you have to think of going back to college too."

"Maybe, but I have the GI Bill."

"This is your first night home, I insist you let us welcome you. We've been so anxious about you, it would purely be a pleasure to pay."

"Okay, okay. But this isn't going to be a habit, right? Hey, am I still in my old room?"

"You can have the master bedroom if you want."

"Naw, I'll keep my room." It was hard to pretend nothing had happened as I walked down the hall to my room, hoping to find some clean pants to wear. I sure didn't want to show up for dinner in uniform. Behind me I heard the muted laughter of Billy and Margie, and I was pretty sure I knew what they were laughing about. My face felt hot.

"Well, do I look like a civilian?" I asked, decked out the best I could in slacks and a sweater.

"Jesus, you've lost weight. And where'd those peg pants come from? Nobody wears them any more. I think I better take you shopping."

"I think he'll look good in bells, don't you, Billy?" asked Margie.

"What are you hungry for?"

"Anything. Everything."

"That should make it easy. Let's go."

Billy sat with his arm around Margie,. steering his old pickup easily with one hand. I sat to the right. I asked about my friends, most in College, a few in Vietnam, a couple of them KIA. I didn't know. It didn't seem like any of the old gang were still around, especially when I got to the girls.

"I better go to college, or I won't know any girls at all."

"I bet you're horny, eh?"

"I haven't been with a girl for the last year, except for hookers on R&R and one weekend pass."

"You told me about the girl in the red dress in Bangkok. It sounded pretty hot."

"It sure is named right. Bangkok. Those girls were actually nice, but I sure don't miss the 'B' girls. I just need to get back into the swing of things."

"Margie, do you know anyone you can fix Johnny up with?"

"Blond or dark, Johnny?"

"I can find . . ."

"I won't hook you up with a dog."

I blushed. I hadn't thought she would, but I didn't want her to think I couldn't find my own woman. "Just find me a girl who can hold up her side of a conversation and who doesn't hate soldiers. I bet that's going to be hard."

"Maybe, but not impossible. But I wouldn't go around in uniform on campus, though."

"What about Megan?"

"That's right, she broke up with Randy. You'll like her. If I was a guy, I sure would. I'll give her a call after dinner."

"Why don't you call her now and ask her if she'd like to join us for dinner. I think you'll like Megan, Johnny. She's smart, independent and attractive."

Also available, it turned out. Attractive was a weak adjective for her vibrant good looks as she ran down the sidewalk to the pick-up after Billy tapped out 'shave and a haircut' on his horn. It was crowded with all four of us in the front seat even though it's one of the old fashioned pick-ups with a wide seat. Megan had to sit on my lap but she was too polite to comment on the hard uncomfortable bulge in my lap. Fortunately, she was able to shift her weight to my knee so I could wiggle and make the prisoner in my pants more comfortable.

Some things hadn't changed while I was in 'Nam. The minute we reached the restaurant, while we were still waiting to be seated, the two girls disappeared into the women's room; when they emerged there was a sparkle in Megan's eyes and I was afraid I knew what that meant. Margie hadn't been able to resist telling Megan about having ringside seats to my wet dream.

Billy and I stood as they approached the table. "Did you really just come back from Vietnam?" Megan asked.

"Yes."

"Well, good for you." She rose up on tip toe and kissed me on the lips. Not a peck either but a warm plump kiss. My cock stirred. Whoa there stud.

I remember nothing about dinner except for feeling schizophrenia; half of me felt comfortable and happily ensconced with friends and family. Half of me felt alienated—as if I were in enemy territory. I sat with my back to the wall and guarded my space even as I wished these friends could come in from the fog. Maybe this is what Wolfe meant when he said you can't come home again.

I told them about my arrival at Travis AFB, kissing the ground and then being taken Frisco and being spit on at the airport for being in uniform. But only because they kept pumping me. I was more interested in hearing about the new hippie drug culture which we'd heard about in-country and about the so-called sexual revolution.

"It's true," Margie said, "a lot of girls give away sex like we used to think of a good night kiss."

"A lot of my classmates are shacked up and my best friend is living in a commune," said Megan.

"Commune?" I asked.

"A bunch of kids rented a big house together and anyone who wants can move in and share expenses, and everybody sleeps with everyone else."

"You're kidding?"

"You'll see," said Billy.

Over dessert Megan said, "I hear the two of you are going to be rattling around in your parents' old house."

"Actually, I've been living there too," said Margie. I didn't know that.

"Well," said Megan, "maybe we should go there and welcome John back the right way. I'd like to sleep with him tonight." I was astonished, but not too astonished to respond positively. Margie winked at Billy and Billy took out his wallet.

"Are you sure I can't chip in on the dinner?"

"Relax and enjoy your day, kid. It ain't going to happen again."

Arriving back home, we all made our way to the living room where Billy put some music on the stereo. We poured ourselves beer and sat together talking for a while. Billy turned out all the lights so the only light came from the gas log in the fireplace. Billy didn't attempt to disguise the fact that he was stroking Margie's breasts under her blouse. When Sinatra's September Song came up, Megan suggested I dance with her. I guess it was dancing, or maybe making love standing up. She pushed against my hard cock, giving it enough pressure to make it rock hard. Every time I looked down, she was looking up at me, her eyes inviting a kiss, an invitation I couldn't refuse. Soon any pretense of dancing disappeared and we stood in the middle of the living room grasping each other and breathing hard. The song ended.

I sat down and Megan sat down on my lap. "Ouch." I reached down and rearranged my cock so it didn't get pinched. We kissed and then Megan twisted to face me. I put an arm around and stroked her breasts. She tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at Billy and Margie. Even in the halflight, I could see his hand was inside her blouse. Megan found the bulge of my cock, running her fingers over the material of my slacks. When I shifted to make room for my cock in the material, she pulled on the end of my belt, undid it and opened the buttons of my fly. Her fingers reached inside and began to play with me. I'd never experienced such forward behavior in a girl; I liked it.

Margie was lying back against Billy, who had both hands inside her blouse. Margie looked over at us and said, "I told you he had a nice cock."

Billy whispered in Margie's ear and the two stood. "We're going to take the master bedroom. We'll talk later about rooming arrangements. Be good."

"And if you can't be good, be careful. Yes, I know. Oh, just a minute. Can I talk to you, before you go, Billy.

"Do you have any condoms," I whispered in his ear, but not quietly enough that Margie didn't hear.

"You're on the pill aren't you, Megan," she asked.

"Of course I am."

"See, you won't need a condom, after all," Billy said.

I couldn't believe they just came out and talked about it. This brave new world was going to take some getting used to.

Once Billy and Margie left, Megan stood and said, "I need to use the bathroom." When she returned a couple of minutes later, I arose to greet her with a hug. She quickly disengaged and, without ceremony, took off her blouse. Before she could continue, I put my hands on her breasts and bowed down to introduce my face. Introductions out of the way, I sucked both nipples and nuzzled my nose in the cleft between. Her scent made me dizzy. Megan pushed me away and pulled my sweater up over my shoulders. I helped her unbutton my shirt and quickly it and my undershirt were gone. Hugging her now was an ecstasy of bare flesh.

My knees felt weak and when she reached her little hands down in search of my cock they threatened to give way. Her clever fingers made easy work of my fly and I was soon standing before her trying to kick off my shoes without falling so I could step out of my trousers without falling on my face.

"Would you like a blow job?" she asked. It was like being hit by an unexpected snowball. Everything that was happening between us was so far beyond the way I thought the world of boys and girls worked, I found myself totally disoriented. Well, not disoriented. I knew which way was down on me, I was just amazed she was going there. She was good at it too. She took me in her hands, lightly running her fingers over the hair of my balls and pulling the skin of my cock tight before taking it into her hot mouth. Despite having ejaculated during the afternoon, I was coming before I could pull back or say, "I'm going to come."

"That's okay. Let it come."

"But I want to come in you."

"They'll be time for that later."

"Don't you have to go home?"

"You trying to get rid of me?"

I was too busy to answer. Having given up trying to stop the unstoppable I turned my attention to trying to fill her willing mouth with semen.

"You're not the kind of guy who's too pure to eat pussy are you?" Megan asked.

"I've never tried it."

"Are you willing to try?"

"Okay."

I once had heard a story designed to illustrate the depravity of the Negro race, in which a Negro man eats a pussy.

'Them cunts, they stink,' he comments three times. 'And when they don't stink, you know you got them licked.'

Other than that unsavory reference, I had never heard of doing it. But in the here-ness of the moment, I was inspecting the prospect carefully before I had a chance to think about it and then the odor pulled me in until I was immersed to my ears.

Along with the joy of being lost in the best sense, in a vagina, eating pussy had the additional advantage of putting me where I could see what was going on. I heard Megan mew each time my lips or tongue got into the area of that funny bump above her hole. I saw the little curds of cottage cheese filling the inner creases of her sex and I sucked them all up and in general gave the area such a working over that the only smell remaining was on my chin when I swam up Megan's stomach to kiss her and share her pussy's juices with her.

A time to pause came and I held her in my arms in the same thrall as when we danced. Her first sign of coming around was her craning her neck to look at my penis, which was shriveled and hanging meekly, supported from the back by my balls. She kneeled alongside and started to check out my cock. She weighed him in her hands, pulled him and stretched him so he was long and narrow, took him in her hand, and then stood back to see what happened. Nothing. She bent down and took him into her mouth and started to tease him with her tongue. At the same time her hand cupped my balls for a moment before sliding past them to probe for my rectum.

Can't get there from there, I thought, but she proved me wrong. I felt it all the way to my balls, which were already reawakening. I pulled her up and kissed her deeply, as we stood facing each other. I lifted her by her armpits and lowered her against my cock, which still wasn't hard enough to hang her on, so she slid down onto the floor like a damp rag. I followed with my tongue and licked her pussy for a while longer, while she reached up between my legs and fondled me. Now I was starting to feel rock hard. I kneeled between her legs and aimed my cock at her vagina's opening. Megan arched her pelvis up into me. Twelve months in Vietnam put a hell of a lot of drive the pump that was pistoning in and out of Megan's welcoming pussy. I made no attempt to sense the signals Megan was sending, I was a man on a mission. So much so that I can't tell you when I sensed Megan suddenly catch fire and start to match my every move and even my mood. She wasn't as loud as Margie down the hall. But she continually hummed the shades of her emotions. I tried to blend with her but it's been too long since I've sung harmony.

When the after glow started to become chilly, we quickly dressed and made some sundaes from the freezer. Margie and Billy came in a joined us. In the morning I drove Megan home, but not before planning to meet when she got out of class.

Megan's long auburn hair streamed behind her in the wind as she ran down the avenue to where my car sat idling. She had long bell-bottomed jeans, with flags sewn into the seams all the way down to the ragged cuff. I drove as she directed and we came to a substantial house that sat above the street on a hill looking down on the passing world. Inside we were hit by a smoked filled atmosphere. I recognized incense but it was a while before I'd learn to recognize the smell of marijuana and single it out too. The large living room's beautiful hardwood floor was not at its best, being littered with an incredible amount of filth. This what happens, I thought, when no one is in charge. Megan yelled, "Aloana, are you here?" She looked at us, "Wait here." Walked down the hall and rapped on the door. A minute later a sleepy head stuck itself out the door. "Hey, what's hanging?" she asked.

"I wanted you to meet a friend of mine. His name is John."

"Hey, pleased to meet you. We are sort of zoned out, as you can see. Come on in." We followed her into the room. It had two full sized beds and a low table with beanbag chairs around. Draped on the pillows were two additional guy and one more gal, all of whom were naked unless partially draped with blankets.

"Glad to meet cha, John," said Darrel, when we were introduced. "Here, have a toke." He handed me a joint. I hadn't done this before but I figured, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do,' and I did. Since I smoked cigarettes, it was easy to inhale the smoke, but when I blew it out, everybody laughed. Obviously, I was a virgin. Everyone knew you hold the smoke in—don't you know what this stuff costs?

"Take a big toke." I did and held it in, just like they said; I immediately was racked by cough, starting in my bowels and ending up blowing out my sinuses. Everyone laughed and said, that's a good one. You're sure to get high now.

Someone put on Pearl with Janis Joplin and with the first chord of the electric guitar my head was in outer space. The joint stopped at me again and again as I lay on my back, head on the same pillow Megan sat upon patting my head. I sang 'la de da la de da, la de da la de da, oh oh oh, oh my Bobby Magee. Oh no no no no no, no no no . . . well, that's the way it goes. Then when she belted out 'get it why ill you can, yan, ,yan . . . In this world . . ."

I said, "yes! Yes! Get it while you can."

Everybody was singing with me, enjoying themselves immensely, but in retrospect I am aware that they were mostly enjoying my chemical de-flowering, but there was no malice in it. In fact, of everything that happened in that scene, there was never any malice in it. That's why I hate it when people trash it and make it seem as silly as it was. But history needs comedy as well as tragedy.

I don't remember how Megan came to be with me down on the floor or how our clothes melted away or how there always seemed to be extra fingers, extra hands, extra breasts, extra cocks and extra legs and feet mixed up in what for me was basically a dance between Megan and me.

When I was spent I asked about it and learned that since they had already had sex several times today, they only wanted to help us. We were fine with that it turns out.

I was soon in the press of getting registered for courses in graduate school. I was going to enter pre-law and see if I was up to it. I was determined to be. Be up to it. Just as classes were beginning, Megan took a bus ride to Berkeley for a protest and never came home although she did phone to tell us she was all right and her folks were going to forward her stuff.