The Only Constant is Change Ch. 04

Author's Note: Thank you to those who have stayed the course this far. It's been a long buildup, and we're not quite done yet. It won't be long now, though, before we take some steps forward and start picking up the pace. Things have gone swell for Jeremy up to this point, but life has a way of keeping you humble. At least, that's the way it's always felt to me.

As always, any sexual activity takes place between people 18+.

MB

*****

When he left AJ's house the morning after his conversation with Hannah, Jeremy's mind was churning with conflicting thoughts and emotions. Once again, Hannah had slept with him on the couch, and he'd enjoyed every second of feeling her body lying next to his. Unlike the previous night, they'd woken this morning in spoon positions, with Jeremy behind Hannah; at some point, Hannah had grabbed his hand and pulled his arm over her. Just like the previous morning, Jeremy felt a rightness about waking with her in his arms that was a little frightening, given that he'd never been so close to a girl for so long.

Before he'd left, Hannah had pulled him aside for a little chat. "Jeremy," she began, "thank you."

Confused, Jeremy could only offer the question "For what?"

"For last night and the night before, for being everything that I could have ever hoped you'd be. You are a rare guy; I don't think you understand just how rare you are. Whether you believe it or not, I believe it. I've enjoyed the last few days more than I dreamed possible, even though we haven't even gone on a date yet." Jeremy's heart thrilled to hear that caveat. "I hope I'll get a chance to see you at the party on Friday. But if not, I need you to know that the countdown game that we've been playing is not a game for me anymore. I don't know much about the future, but I do know that the next 56 days are going to take forever. And I also know that at the end of forever, I want to go on a date with you. Even if you don't think it will go anywhere serious, I have to try." Her last words were almost lost as her voice trailed off to a whisper.

Jeremy stepped to her and wrapped her in his arms, luxuriating in the feel of her body pressed against his and the scents he had come to associate with her. After holding her for a few minutes, he kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. "I feel exactly the same way that you do. It will probably be some time before I can really believe the things that you're saying about me, but I can't tell you how much it means to me that a beautiful young woman like you would even say it. You are amazing, and if I don't get to see you again before you go back to school, I want you to know that 56 days from now we have a date. I don't know where or what we'll be doing, but I can't wait to spend some time with you." As he stepped back, he said, "And who knows? Maybe AJ and I will take a trip and surprise you at school sometime."

"I'd like that a lot," she said excitedly. "I think some of my girlfriends up there think I made you up, so it would be nice to show them that you're real."

Jeremy spent most of the next few days wrapped up in chores around the house or completing homework assigned over the break. Free from the distractions of AJ or any of the women in his life, he absorbed himself in introspection. What he found was that the rapid shift in his concept of self-worth, forced by the revelations of the past few days, was at once exhilarating and terribly frightening. How exactly does one go from feeling like an also-ran, lucky to scratch out a date here or there and mostly intimidated at the thought of approaching an attractive girl, to a prime stud with a wide array of dating possibilities, without abandoning the things that make you who you are? He'd always thought that many of the girls he desired were well out of his reach. And yet he'd been told by more than one girl that he could have any girl he wanted. If he were being completely honest, he found the thought of dating several girls concurrently to be very exciting, and quite the boost to his ego. But at the same time, he thought it might be a little selfish and unfair. The more he thought about it, though, he kept coming back to a single conclusion.

If he wasn't interested in a long-term, exclusive commitment, and he communicated that up front, then it was incumbent on the girls to make up their minds about what they desired as well. Once he settled on that perspective, Jeremy found that the feelings of guilt simply melted away. It was tremendously freeing, because he no longer felt a need to play games with anyone. He could be trustworthy and honest, while still enjoying the process of discovering his romantic interests. By the time Friday rolled around, with the barn party looming, he was excited to sample the banquet laid before him.

With an early-morning wakeup the next day to go fishing with his dad, Jeremy wasn't planning to stay late at the barn party. So, he planned to meet his friends at the party rather than going together. Before he left, his dad gave him a last offer of help for the night. "I trust you, Jeremy," his dad said. "But I was your age once too, and I know that drinking and other things sometimes happen at these parties. If you make a mistake, or you choose to drink, I want you to call me. I don't care what time it is, or what's happened, you won't be in trouble. I want you to have fun, but most of all I want you to come home safe. Okay?" Having said his piece, he hugged his son and then went on about his business. For his part, Jeremy was proud that his father both loved and trusted him so much.

Following the directions on the party flier, Jeremy arrived fashionably late to the 7 pm advertised start. Pulling up to the "barn," he was pleasantly surprised to see that this was not exactly a square dance in the frontier days. True, the structure had originally been constructed as a large barn on a working horse ranch. However, "Jimbo" Carter's family (Jimbo's name turned out to be Ethan, so Jeremy hadn't even been close on his first day of school) had converted the building into a large banquet facility. The exterior had a weathered gray wash with bright white trim, highlighted by a series of farmhouse sconces housing Edison bulbs across the wide, wraparound porch. In the time it had taken to park, walk into the building, and take in the atmosphere, Jeremy had already heard Country, Classic Rock, and some recent R&B, so it was apparent that some thought had been put into pleasing many tastes. The rustic chic theme continued to the interior, where the spacious central area had been converted to a sunken dance floor, covered by beautiful, hand-scraped oak planking. The dance area was illuminated by crisscrossed strings of Edison lights in amber and clear varieties, while the surrounding high-top bar tables were lit by pendants or gooseneck wall sconces, depending on whether they were freestanding or adjacent to a wall. At one end was a small stage, with a DJ booth to one side and a large projection screen to the other.

Standing in the entry and surveying the scene, Jeremy was surprised when a pair of hands descended over his eyes and a female voice whispered in his ear, "Guess who." Fortunately, the hands brought the familiar smell of vanilla body lotion to his nose. Jeremy smiled as he turned and said, "Unless I'm mistaken, it's the only girl I've ever slept with, Hannah Jordan." Opening his eyes, he was pleased to see that he'd guessed right, and that Hannah had a blush creeping up her cheeks. It probably had more to do with Lanie Harper and Laura Winters standing on either side of her, both with looks of surprise on their faces; clearly, they'd heard his reply.

After the self-reflection he'd undergone in the last few days, Jeremy was determined that he would no longer be content to take the wait-and-see approach. So, he wrapped his arms around Hannah and lifted her in a little whirl before setting her down and planting a short kiss on her cheek. He whispered in her ear "53," and then said out loud, "I'm so happy to see you, and you look great!" She did, too, showing off her legs in a red, thigh-length shirt-dress, accompanied by a pair of black suede ankle boots with long fringe. Tantalizingly, her dress was unbuttoned to the point that her black lace bra was just peeking out above the first fastened button.

Tearing his eyes away from Hannah for the time being, Jeremy stepped up to Lanie and grabbed her hands before saying, "Lanie, I am so happy to see that you aren't letting that jackass keep you from showing off what he's missing. And what a way to show him!" Lanie accentuated her voluptuous body by wearing a wrap style dress with a flowy skirt just above the knees, and small white flowers over a maroon backdrop, accompanied by short cowgirl boots. Jeremy pulled her in for a hug. He may have held it a little longer than necessary, but he really was glad that Lanie seemed to be okay after the events of Tuesday evening. Before he stepped back, Jeremy gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as well.

Turning to the third member of the trio, Jeremy realized that he'd not actually met Laura. His first impression was that she had to be at least part-Elf. She was almost as tall as him, with the slender physique of a runway model, including a modest bust. Her eyes were a captivating shade of gray, which she'd accented with heavy liner and purple eye shadow; it was a striking combination against her porcelain skin. She wore her hair in messy pixie cut, and the natural white-blond color was shot through with swaths of plum purple coloring. Laura was outfitted in a dark purple peasant top with an embroidered black lace panel in a T shape across the lapels and down to top of her skin-tight jeans. The ensemble was completed with a spiky pair of ankle boots. "You must be Laura," Jeremy said, holding out his hand. "I'm Jeremy."

While Laura's appearance might have read "ice queen," the sparkle in her eyes put the lie to that right away. She glanced at his hand before she said, "I'm feeling a little left out here. Don't I get a kiss?"

Picking his jaw up off the floor, Jeremy tried to recover quickly. "Well, I didn't want to be presumptuous. But," he said as he gathered her into his arms, "far be it from me to disappoint a beautiful woman." As he released her, he gave her a kiss on the cheek as well. "Feel better?"

"Oh, much better," she purred. Jeremy was suddenly aware that Hannah and Lanie were both watching all of this. Lanie was giggling, but when he checked Hannah, she was just rolling her eyes at him. All in all, it was a pretty good way to start the party.

"Let's find a place to sit, and then you ladies can let me know what you'd like to drink." He took Hannah's hand, and led them towards a nearby table. Once there, each of the ladies asked for some punch, which he was happy to obtain. At the beverage table, he ran into AJ and Mandy. They pointed out where they were sitting; Jeremy was surprised to see Jess and Ava sitting together at a table near the others. Their heads were bent together, as if they were in a serious discussion. Taking his leave from AJ and Mandy, Jeremy promised to come over in a little while; he winked at AJ when he mentioned that he wanted to spend some time with Hannah and her friends. AJ just shook his head and grinned as he turned back to their table.

Jeremy spent the next hour immersed in the beauty of the three lovely ladies, conversing about their college experiences and plans after graduation, talking about his life growing up in the military and plans to enter the service at the end of summer. He made a point to ask each of the three to dance with him, not on the slow, love songs, but on the faster songs when the dance floor tended to clear out. He knew he was setting himself up for more questions, but the reality was that Jeremy enjoyed dancing. And, he knew that most guys didn't like to dance, so he'd look that much better by comparison.

Laughing with Hannah as they returned to the table from their latest spin, Laura asked him about dancing. Jeremy said he'd tell them, but they had to keep it a secret. Once they agreed, he said "I took dance lessons for about 4 years to impress a girl." Their eyes bugged out before they broke down in fits of giggling. Jeremy feigned hurt, "I didn't think it was that funny."

Hannah was the first to recover and said she'd like to hear the story. With a shrug, Jeremy told it. "I started in 3^rd grade. We had just moved to Germany, and this cute little blonde girl named Heather was in my class at the school on base. I didn't really know anybody, but I overheard her talking to her friends about this ball that was coming up. Her dad was one of the officers on base, and her mother made a point of organizing these events to kind of help the families get to know each other. Anyway, her mom wanted her to do some little spotlight dance, but she didn't know any boys who danced. Now, I'd never danced before in my life, but I introduced myself and told her that I was willing to learn; I just needed someone to teach me. So, she told me where she took lessons, and I talked my parents into getting me signed up. This was about the time that I'd heard that some football players take dance lessons to help with their balance, so it wasn't all for her. Anyway, I found that I liked it. I learned enough to dance with Heather at the ball, and then I kept taking lessons until we moved again, but it wasn't 'cool' at the place we went next, so I let it go. I kind of miss it."

When he finished the story, Lanie said "Every time I think I've got you figured out, I uncover another layer. You're something else, Jeremy."

Taking her hand, he squeezed it and said "Thank you, Lanie. That means a lot." Looking around, he realized that he hadn't spent any time with his other friends, or Jess or Ava, and thought he probably ought to do so before things got too late. He made his apologies and said that he hoped he'd get a chance to dance with them again before he had to leave, before making his way over to the table where AJ and Mandy were sitting.

Along the way, he saw that Jess and Ava were dancing together, and promised himself that he'd join them soon. On the way to joining his friends, he was surprised to see Monica White sitting at a table alone and looking miserable. Here's the perfect opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, he thought. Monica was a secret fantasy, one he hadn't shared even with AJ. To find her here now, alone, seemed divine providence.

It all began in chemistry class, of all places. Jeremy walked into the classroom that first day and saw this stunningly beautiful girl sitting alone at one of the work stations. Blessed with flawless cinnamon-toned skin and light brown eyes, that day Monica wore her hair in loose curls bobbed just below her ears. He'd since learned that her smile, when she let it out, could light up a room. But that day, she'd warily watched him in silence as he made his way to the open spot next to her. She'd merely shrugged when he asked if she minded him sitting there.

Confused by her seemingly dismissive attitude, Jeremy spent the bulk of the semester trying to get on her good side. He had concluded that she had a problem with him because he was white. He'd noticed that outside of class, she was surrounded exclusively by others of African or Hispanic heritage. So, while they worked well together on the partner projects they'd been assigned, he'd never been able to break through the ice. Still, Jeremy had no problem with her heritage, and he could see that beyond her beauty was an intelligent, driven young lady with big plans. He admired her, but couldn't really feel any sort of connection forming despite his best efforts.

Thus, he was intrigued by her appearance, both at the party and in her attire. Jeremy couldn't remember any social setting where Monica wasn't attended by at least a few persons of color, and he was having a hard time picturing her as a country girl. And yet, as he looked, he could see that she'd chosen to wear a light gray, spaghetti strapped tank top under a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the tails knotted at her waist. Jeremy knew when she stood up, her faded blue jeans would show off the perfect apple-bottom that was his favorite part of her body. Perhaps most surprising was the battered straw cowgirl hat she wore. It was perfect for the outfit, and yet seemed so out of character, as Jeremy understood Monica.

Detouring from his destination, Jeremy pulled out the chair opposite Monica and said, "Do you mind if I sit here?" For the first time since he'd spied her, she gave a little smile and replied, "Haven't we done this scene before?"

Now that he was sitting with her, Jeremy realized that he had no good conversation starter that didn't involve schoolwork. But as the silence began to stretch, he could see that the same miserable expression was creeping back into her eyes. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Monica, but are you okay?" Jeremy asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she said, a little too cheerfully.

"Okay, that's good." Jeremy knew that she wasn't okay, but he wasn't exactly sure how to bridge the gap. After a few minutes, his impatience won out and he couldn't let it go on any longer. "Monica, I know we don't know each other that well. But I hope we're, if not friends, at least friendly. And right now, I feel like you're going through something. I'd like to help, if I can." Hesitatingly, he put his hand on hers.

He watched as her eyes clouded up. "How do you do that?" she whispered.

"Do what?"

"You always figure out a way past my defenses, and I don't think you even realize what you're doing."

Jeremy shrugged. "I don't know for sure what you mean, but I can tell you this: since the first day that I met you, I've been fascinated with you. You don't make it easy to get to know you, so I've been forced to play this little game against you in my head. Every day I can make you smile or laugh, I get a point. If not, you get a point. Unfortunately, I'm way behind. But since getting any points at all feels like I'm winning, I try not to get too wrapped up in the scoreboard." Jeremy gave her a wink, which resulted in her giggling and breaking out a little smile. Jeremy made a big show of marking two imaginary tallies on his side of the ledger.

Hearing a slower song begin to play, Jeremy asked her if she'd like to dance. With surprise in her eyes, she took his hand and they made their way to the floor. Jeremy held her close as they danced, so that they could continue the conversation. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

Monica shook her head. "Not yet. Let's just dance." He just nodded and drew her closer, reveling in the feel of her body pressed against his. The two swayed together in silence, each enjoying the closeness of the other. After a few minutes, she said, "This feels so good, this moment right now. One more song, and then I promise I'll tell you everything, okay?"

As the second song ended, Monica took his hand and led him out to the porch where they could speak a little more privately. Heading towards a corner away from the door, Monica hopped up on the wide railing and dangled her legs, while Jeremy leaned over the rail and admired the stars in the clear night sky. "It's nights just like this that always make me think just how small we are in the grand scheme of things, ya know? When I'm struggling with something in my life, I like to go for a long walk or campout just so I can see the stars. It helps me realize that whatever I'm going through is just a small piece of my lifetime."

His ruminations drew her gaze to the stars as well, and she didn't even notice when he stopped talking.

"Monica?"