The Only Way to Fly

She had months ago learned why astronauts, dressed in their bulky white suits and helmets, waddled clumsily rather than walked like other people. The suit's plumbing made normal walking an impossible task. Astronaut Tori Nicole Anson half shuffled, half waddled from the suit room into the hallway.

She smiled inside her closed visor at all the people assembled to wish her and her partner well. It was a false front, however. She still bristled from the biomedical exam and the difficult procedure of suiting up in this seemingly ill-fitting spacesuit and helmet.

The pregnancy test had come first. She was expected to pee on command as if she were a trained animal. Next, the speculum was freezing and without sympathy. The stethoscope between her bare breasts and on her back was equally frigid.

Even worse, the good doctor managed to cup one of her exposed breasts and cop a feel as he listened with an outward expression of professional concern. These were almost rendered trifling in comparison to what followed.

The process of suiting up to spend the next three days in a cramped space capsule had, from the beginning of her training, been a bone of contention with Tori. She hated wearing the ungainly white suits and their attending helmets.

The interior components of the suits bothered her most. Since she was going to be wearing one for nearly seventy-two hours, it was outfitted with special apparatus to accommodate her most intimate functions. Chocolate and Premysyn, Tori told herself, only large quantities of both can save me, now. During the eight months of training, she had resorted to ingesting profuse amounts of both as capriciously as any teen-ager with PMS might.

The suiting up procedure began with two female Technicians helping Tori wiggle into what could best be described as snug fitting Capri pants. In reality, this lower body garment was constructed of soft but thick insulating material, honey combed with narrow flex tubing. The tubes carried water that could be heated or cooled as the wearer wished. There was an upper body garment, also. The most startling feature of the "pants" was the complete lack of a crotch. They were split from back to front to accommodate the special plumbing. Once the under garment was on, Tori lay back on an examining table for the next step. She was nude from the waist up but hardly worried over that. The Techs, hands gloved, applied a large handful of cold, gooey sanitary gel to her anus.

Once they were satisfied with the amount and coverage, the Techs fixed the rubbery mouth of a Fecal Collection Device to Tori's opening. This required the Techs to spread her butt cheeks somewhat to accommodate the apparatus. Tori unsuccessfully repressed a grimace as the unit was attached to her body. The characteristics of the bio sanitizing gel required a Tech to hold it in place for an agonizing length of time. When it was almost too much to endure, the Tech smiled and commented, "That much is over with."

The FCD was nothing more than an accordion pleated heavy gauge plastic bag with a wide lipped mouth that was gel glued to one's anus. It may come to pass that Tori would be forced to live in her sealed space suit for longer than was planned. The twenty-seven year old Astronaut hissed in reply to the Tech's words. She knew this was far from over. This was the reason for the crotch-less under garment. The next waste management device was to be connected to the other more intimate opening between her legs. Tori closed her eyes tight and swore, "Crap."

"No, Tori." The Tech half laughed, "That was what the first one was for. This one is for Number Onesy, Dear." Tori screwed up her face once more before closing her eyes and reclining, again. She lay supine on the table as her outer lips were gel coated and her Urine Collection Device was put into place. She had opposed the doctor's advice to shave the dark blonde rectangular patch of pubic fur and now that bit of femininity, normally reserved for only intimate acquaintances, was being rubbed with sanitizing goop by a co worker. Tori despised this apparatus as much as the FCD.

The soft, close fitting, quasi-elliptical mouth of the UCD had a small opening in the center from which a small tube ran into a pouch in the leg of her space suit. Attached to the collection pouch was a small vacuum pump that sucked her liquid wastes into the pouch. All the female astronauts had a certain uncomfortable relationship with this creation. During training, Tori had tried not to use these collection appliances but there were a few times when that wasn't possible. The UCD pump kicked in automatically when the wearer used the unit. The initial suction made keeping one's outward composure almost impossible. She couldn't stop her mouth from making a slight "O" shape and the capsule camera never failed to zoom in on her face at those delicate personal episodes. The feeling was undeniably arousing and she had forced herself to focus on the instrument panels of the capsule to retain her train of thought.

"Oh what a feeling, eh?" MEDCOM would sometimes whisper when she was emptying her bladder. "You should see what you're feeling, Tori." She initially wanted to fight her way from the capsule and beat the living Hell out of the human behind the voice in her helmet. It took almost all her self-control to restrain herself. After a few incidents, however, she changed her thinking and would snap back, "Yeah. You wish you were the guy making me feel this good, too. Prick!"

Her partner, Asa Dick, would applaud and in a feigned Oh so droll upper class English accent quip: "Well played, Mum. Well played, indeed." She would laugh and punch him in the arm with a derisive growl. This would lead to short breaks in the training for horseplay and unashamed sexual suggestion. The thought of Asa brought a sudden smile to Tori's face. Over the course of their months of training, she had come to the decision it would be nice, very nice, to share a bed with him. He was always positive minded and had showed no hint of temper even during the most grueling test sessions. Tori hid a pang of disappointment behind her secret smile. Earlier that morning, hours before she would have been woken by her back up, she lay awake in her bed wishing she were lying with Asa making love. She had passed a difficult few moments restraining herself from simply walking across the hall to his room and climbing in bed with him.

It would have been easy enough, she told herself. Just a few quick, silent steps across the hall and she could have slipped into bed with Asa and held him close. A sudden cold gloved hand sliding across her outer lips caused her to jerk involuntarily. The Tech, possibly sensing her thoughts, apologized in a near whisper. Tori shook her head and tried to concentrate on the day ahead. This was mankind's next great space voyage. Tori and Asa were to be the first Humans to set foot on the planet Mars. She focused on keeping her breathing steady and measured. It wasn't as easy as she had wished. Her inner spaces were a riot of confused feelings. She was excited and anxious and at the same time full of apprehension. She felt so tremendously privileged and somewhat reluctant. This would undoubtedly be the greatest episode of her life but it also left her almost afraid.

This endeavor had already made her a multi millionaire. She and Asa were not NASA astronauts but employees of ARES Corporation. They were the first wave of an exploratory invasion of sixteen astronauts, all ARES corporation employees. NASA simply had offered technical assistance and advice for this flight. ARES Corp. had bought and built everything on speculation a manned Mars mission would be tremendously profitable. Among The sixteen other astronauts were former NASA members but Tori and Asa would be the first humans to stand on Mars and they were private sector employees.

Their job was as much a profit-seeking venture as it was scientific. She and Asa, however, were primarily engineering support for the mission once humans landed. On Mars waiting for them were two robotic fuel manufacturing units diligently processing fuel for the entire expedition. They had successfully landed almost ten months previously and were examining Martian raw materials for the number one necessary building block of the fuel they would need to return to Earth. Water. ARES Corporation scientists had been seeing indications from the two robotic fuel processors that there were promising indications of water, most likely ice, not too far below the surface of Mars. They had recently received reports both units were actually processing frozen water and Hydrogen they had stored on board to make small amounts of fuel.

It all seemed a bit confusing to Tori and Asa. At one point, less than a month before launch, they had tried to draw a friendly line in the sand on the issue. They had asked to see the raw data from the two robotic fuel-manufacturing units. The data seemed ambiguous and ARES Corporation scientists and engineers assured them it was due to the fact both units were mobile and their constant slow crawling across the Martian surface was causing slight interference with communications. The raw data was, to quote an engineer, shaken and scrambled in transit but everyone was confident the results were positive. Tori hadn't realized her smile was turning to a frown as she lay on the table.

"Okay Tori," one of the Techs spoke calmly. "We're finished on this end. Now let's get those bio sensors on your chest, Dear." These sensors transmitted her respiration and heart performance to MEDCOM for evaluation. Several weeks before, more than slightly drunk, at a party she had sarcastically wisecracked: "They tell the ground apes when we're dead."

Thinking of that night, she regretted the remark. She further regretted she had watched Asa disappear with some young woman. The rest of the evening she concentrated on trying to drink as much as possible. What a stupid thing to do, she chided herself. The Press was still having a field day with that performance. There was ample video of her puking in the bushes like some dumb ass college coed. If the evening had only ended there, she would have been able to put it behind her but the vomiting in view of a news cameraman had been just the opening act. Tori had gone on to playfully spin the female reporter who was with the cameraman into the pool…also in full view of the camera. She then wobbled away muttering, "Silly Cow…stupid…stupid…really stupid!"

The media at large mistakenly believed she was referring to the Reporter floundering in the pool. Tori had been commenting about herself. She had spent the time since that night clumsily trying to set the record straight. The fact the Reporter had gone into the pool meant very little to her. An unexpected dip rarely hurt anyone, Tori believed. She had tried to explain that She, Tori, felt stupid for being drunk, for puking and…for letting Asa just walk out with someone else. The woman in question, hardly more than twenty if Tori were any expert, was obviously just a one-night fuck to Asa. The nickname "ADICK" hadn't been hung on him without good reason. Tori had, at that moment, wanted to have been the woman Asa was guiding out of the party for a private get together at her place, no doubt. She stifled a smile, realizing she still wanted to be that woman.

The Techs wiped her breasts and the surrounding area with sterile alcohol cleaning pads and then painted her with a yellow tinged liquid that would hold the biosensors in place. She almost smiled again, imagining herself flashing her yellow painted chest at Asa in space. It would be nice to be so unencumbered, she fantasized briefly, in the micro gravity of the Command Module. Unfortunately, the plan called for the entire flight up to the Mars Transporter, Ares Endeavor, to be made wearing the suits. The Ares Module Taxi had not been human tested and the general consensus among all the engineers was to be safe and leave the bulky spacesuits on as much as possible.

During the nearly three day ferry flight, she was allotted only two occasions to actually shed the suit for hygienic duties. Bathing in the capsule consisted of wiping one's body all over with large sheets impregnated with a special cleaning solution. Hair washing was handled in a similar fashion. An astronaut rubbed their hair vigorously with the appropriate cleansing sheet and then let the hair dry on its own. Of course, stripping off the suit required assistance from the other astronaut in the capsule, which meant they would no doubt be exposing themselves to each other to some degree.

It had already happened during their training. During their medical training, they had allowed each other to strip off their suits in order to gain access for the administration of First Aid. Tori showed him hers and Asa had shown her his. It was all purely medical training, Girl. She was thankful for those sessions because it gave Asa a chance to check her out and form some ideas for the long journey ahead of them.

That eventuality had been quietly discussed with the staff in the MEDCOM section. Ortho-Tricyclene was unceremoniously and without comment slipped into her "Personal" compilation of necessary items along with a vial containing the "Morning After" abortion pills. She had been using the Ortho-Tricyclene for nearly six months and apart from increasing her desire for sex slightly, she was side effect free. The other women on the Mars team were also encouraged to use birth control presumably to regulate their monthly cycles. There were five other women making the flight to Mars behind her and she sometimes wondered how they would relate with their male counter parts during the nine-month flight to Mars and the additional eighteen months on the planet. She was betting there would be some sort of relationships formed. The official Ares Corporation policy regarding this subject was non-existent. They did their corporate best to look the other way.

A team of Psychologists from NASA had talked ambiguously, at first, about sexual relations and the tensions such relationships generated early in the training. With each session, they became a bit more graphic in their tone. After the third session, Tori decided she didn't need a lecture on dating morals and sexual dos and don'ts from anyone. It was the last session she attended. The Press had been successfully kept in the dark regarding the whole affair. There had been much speculation in the Media about the Outer Space Soap Opera that may develop. Piss on 'em. Tori hoped her fellow team members of both genders had adopted the same philosophy.

There was a modified Golf cart in the hallway waiting to shuttle the two Astronauts to the Crew van. Asa stood beside it and waved her to sit first saying, "After you, Kid."

She smiled and nodded and almost hopped on without first giving thought to her suit and its idiosyncrasies. She stopped short and carefully lowered herself on to the rear seat before readjusting the O-2 hoses trailing from the front to her personal portable Life Support Unit. Asa sat next to her and they waved for the cameras flashing all about them. They flashed repeated thumbs up signs as they were driven down the long white hallway. Tori punched Asa's arm and quipped, "This is it, Asa. We're on our way."

Asa Dick reclined in his aluminum framed capsule seat thankful for a moment's peace, at long last. It was four hours since they had lifted off from the Barbara Bush Manned Space Facility and for the last nine hours, he and Tori had been relentlessly on the go. First, there had been the traditional pre flight breakfast of steak and scrambled eggs. A low residue meal to reduce the probability of wanting to dump a big turd at a critical moment. How nice, Asa thought with a smile, if this hunk of overpriced space hardware shits the bed… We at least won't shit our knickers. Next, he and Tori had endured the process of suiting up. Asa knew from training how his partner hated these bulky white spacesuits and their attendant interior workings. He rolled his eyes her way and laughed to himself. Even now, they were both fully suited with visors down. Even though their capsule was based on the successful old NASA Apollo Command Module, it had never been human tested in actual space flight. He and Tori were the first to take it into space. Wonderful.

Seconds before lift off, there was a series of thumps, shudders and booms from underneath them. The big three-stage monster rocket was coming to life in preparation for flight. Numerous pumps began spinning, valves opened or slammed shut as programmed and the whole machine became a living entity. The gentle rocking they had experienced in their two hours lying in the capsule prior to that moment ended. They had passed the time with endless checklists, systems reports and even a bit of horseplay. Impatiently, Tori had once remarked, "Well Asa, You finally got me right where you wanted me. Flat on my back with my legs in the air! Enjoy it, Space Ape!"

He hooted and made ape noises until she began punching him. A slap fight quickly ensued and would have continued for sometime. However, a loud BOOM gave Tori such a scare, she gripped his gloved hand with hers and in a near panic stricken whisper hissed: "Now would be a real good time to hold my hand, Asa!"

Seconds later, the powerful booster rockets ignited and they felt the expected kick in the stomach as their capsule heaved itself spaceward. In her free hand, Tori clutched her book of checklists and kept her eyes fixed to the CRT screens for any sign of trouble. During launch these all turned to green hash and were quite useless for detecting any problems. Asa and Tori both knew if there were a launch malfunction they most likely wouldn't have time to react in any meaningful way. They would hardly even have time to recognize there was trouble. Over the distant roar of the rockets, the rattling of their surroundings and someone's voice blaring in their ears through the static, Asa heard Tori's anxious gasping breaths quickening with their increasing speed.

First stage separation hurled them forward roughly and she grunted and swore until the second stage exploded to life and slammed her back in her flimsy seat. Her grip on his hand increased until Asa was curling his toes to keep from yelling. He could see her wide, wild eyes inside her helmet but she answered all the radio calls just as if this were a training session. Staging went off just as planned and after nearly nine minutes of fighting to free themselves of Earth's gravity, the ride suddenly smoothed and the sky quickly darkened. The final stage continued firing to push the capsule into its proper rendezvous orbit. The rattling and shaking diminished but Asa could still hear Tori panting as if she were running for her very life. He shook her hand, saying: "Calm down, TNA. We're here. We're up and it looks as if we're staying up, too."

Over the next four hours, they had been busy configuring their Command Module for the nearly three-day flight before the rendezvous with their transporter vehicle. They had checked and rechecked the alignment of their course as it compared with the Ares Mars Transporter. The ground controllers had them run through a complete capsule systems check. Asa had hoped to avoid that. It was simply a time wasting step that wasn't necessary in his opinion. However, after nearly three hours of that, the media had been allowed to bother them for what felt like an eternity. Asa could sense Tori's struggle to keep an even keel as she tried to answer all questions put to her. He had simply tried to make jokes out of the whole thing. He disliked it because, to him, there seemed to be an over-sentimentality underlying the reporters' tone. It was as if they had already consigned them to die and were just trying to soften the blow.