The Other Me Pt. 01

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"What I want is you not to stop!" she moaned. Looking at me.
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Chapter I

Primitive Desires

I was watching the sunset. It was something pretty special in the line of Nairobi sunsets and it made me feel swell. The pitch was in the flatland between The E block and the Administration block, and I could smell the exhausted unleaded petrol from vehicles in the busy Haile Selassie Avenue. It's something I'm going to miss since some show off middle class people are selling everything just to buy electrical vehicles.

I was standing alone, off to one side of D block in the Campus. The usual noises of students from the lectures were being made behind me, and the promo sell gang was pinning the last of the tents down tight. But I wasn't thinking about Miriam's beauty; the Beauty of Miriam the Heart Breaker.

I was remembering Mimah Mohammed contesting for Miss Campus in the main Hall two weeks ago to the promiscuous judges and students. I was wondering where Miriam had gone, taking my dreams with her, because now I could hardly remember what they were.

Somebody said sensitively from behind me, "Bwire?"

I quit thinking about Miriam. It was that kind of a voice-sweet, silky, guaranteed to make you forget your own name. I turned around.

She marched her voice, all right. She stood about five-three on her bronze heels, and her eyes were more purple than the Ngong' Hills. She had a little button of a nose and a pink mouth, smiling just enough just to show her even white teeth. The beautiful dress she wore hugged a chassis with no flaws in it anywhere. I tried to find some.

She dropped her head, so I could see the way the last of the sunlight tangled with her black hair.

"They say you help other students with assignments. If I've made a mistake..."

She had an accent, just enough to be fascinating.

I said, "I'm that person. Something I can do for you?" Still I couldn't find anything wrong with her, but I kept looking just the same. My blood pressure had gone to about three hundred.

It's hard to describe a girl like that. You can say she's five-three beautiful, but you can't pass on the odd little tilt of her eyes and the way her mouth looks, or the something that just comes out of her like light out of a lamp, and hooks into you so you know you'll never get rid of it, not if you live to be a hundred.

She said, "Can you help me with my Economics assignment? I really need help."

I shook my head. "Sorry, I have like three other assignments to do."

Her face had a look of steel under the soft kittenish roundness. "I'm not just talking," she said. "And if by tomorrow morning I will not be through with my assignments, I will be forced to retake the same unit. I would have done it myself if wasn't for the Modeling Contest in the Main hall tonight. Look me over."

That's all I'd been doing. I guess I was staring by then. You don't expect fleecy dolls like that to have too much iron in them. She wasn't bragging. She was just telling me.

"Still I got the other assignments," I told her, "The green-eyed Engineering student who is also in need with his assignment, would tear my head off and yours too, if I decide to help you.

"Oh," she said. "Sorry. I thought you bossed what you do." She let me think about that, and then grinned. "Let me show you the assignment."

She was close enough so I could smell the faint, spicy colognes she wore. But she stopped me from being just the dude chinning with a pretty girl. Right then I wasn't John Bwire, the carny nerdy-guy, with scars on my knuckles, and assignments to write. I was something else; something that was free from nerdish and heartbreaks.

The girl was watching my face. She didn't say anything more, or even move. I scowled at her.

"You'd have to pay more if I agree to do your work."

"I don't care. Anything to avoid re-doing that Unit. Anything to..."

She stopped right there and bent her head again, and suddenly I could see tears on her thick brown lashes.

I said. "Okay. Come over to the library and we'll have a look."

Me, I was tempted to sign her for what was wrapped up in that beautiful dress—but business is business. And also I couldn't take any more disappointments.

She said shakily, "You don't soften up very easily, do you?" We started across the D block towards the school library. The night was coming down cool and fresh. Off to the left, the slim white spires of KICC, Anniversary Tower and Times Tower were beginning to show a rainbow splash of colors under their floodlights.

Everything was clean, new and grateful. Only the unpleasant noises and the smell of the unleaded petrol were old.

We were close to the library door, stumbling a little in the dusk of the afterglow. Suddenly a shadow came tearing out from between the promo sell tents.

It went erratically in lithe, noiseless bounds, and it was somehow not friendly though it seemed to know the girl. The girl caught her breath and shrank in a little against me. The shadow went around us three times a like a crazy thing, and then stopped.

There was something eerie about the sudden stillness. The hair crawled on the back of my neck. She opened her mouth angrily.

The shadow stretched itself towards the darkening sky and let go a cry like Lucifer falling from Silver City.

She cursed.

"Ricky, leave me alone!" She yelled.

Ricky made a fist.

I put my arm around her. "It's alright," I said, and then, "you heard her, hit the road."

There were many things I wanted to say, but the girl cramped my style. Ricky slunk in towards us with a fist. I didn't blame him for his actions. Mimah Mohammed was very beautiful to let go.

Ever try to take a bone from a dog? Or Jesus from a bishop of Rome? Well, this was worse. Ricky expressed his objection forcibly.

Tyson or no Tyson, Karate or modern taekwondo, one thing that doesn't change much is a brawl, and this was a good one. I don't know how he delivered the right that met my chin, and I don't know who it was meant for— maybe I did, but it was just what I needed. Not straight enough to do more than daze for a minute, but just hard enough to rouse my fighting spirit to the point of the hell with anything but finding targets for my knuckles. I avenged my sister when her crazy ex-boyfriend dumped her, I avenged for unknown street boy in the ghetto of Mathare, I avenged my dog (Rex) when some stupid village boy tried to kill her and when I was ten years old, and I avenged the plague of illiteracy in my primitive village. And now I was going to avenge my honor.

Grinning tightly, I stepped back a pace, clenching my fist. Mimah caught my other arm.

"Hold it."

I swung around, glaring. "Let me show this guy..."

Presuming, Ricky seeing his opponent's attention distracted, acquired more courage and came in swinging. Mimah reached past myself, planted her open hand in his face, and pushed hard. Ricky almost fell backward.

As he rebounded, he saw a little crowd of curious people gathering near the library door, but, one of the school guards, kept them out of the library door as the other school guard reached to us.

Ricky licked his lips, hesitantly, he decided to leave when he saw the security guard.

"What was that?" The school guard asked.

"Nothing," I said softly, "She was just saying hey to her older brother."

She laughed.

I couldn't hear the conversation of the little dispersing crowd above the hubbub of the promo sell gang, but its importance was evident. Presently, the security guard shrugged, his mouth forming a disgust, and departed.

As we stood there. Nobody said anything to each other. I didn't know what to say. I remembered my first year in the college how I prayed hard to God's miracle. A miracle that would lead to my existence in her eyes. I also remembered the promise I made to myself two days ago. No woman for me, not now. But, was that fair? Was I going to judge Mimah because of my experience with Miriam? Was I also going to allow my promise to come between me and my almost forgotten prayer? What should I do?

Finally, I decided to fuck-up my promise. Blindly, I went for it.

I stepped close to her and I took her in my arms.

As beautiful she was; she fitted in my embrace as if she belong there; and, she returned the kiss. Its warmth had an effect beyond my imagination.

I had intended to free myself in the middle of the kiss.

I didn't.

When I finally released her, it was only a physical release. My mind was still completely under her domination.

I felt shaken. The flames of desires that leapt through me was telling a tribute to the bout I had undergone with Ricky. But it was entirely beyond my analysis of the intensity of my own feelings.

I love this girl with such a violence that the mere touch of her was enough to disconnect my will of living immediately following.

My heart grew quieter; I studied her with a semblance of detachment.

As I said before, she was lovely in a gorgeous fashion; though almost all women from the Coast are better-looking. Her lips, while medium full, were somehow trifle cruel; and there was a quality in her eyes that accentuated the cruelty (it was evident considering how she dealt with Ricky).

She looked at me. Her stormy gaze quieted. She said finally, in a stony voice: "If you try that again I shall feel justified to chop your balls."

Damn! That was the cruel thing to say.

I stared at her calmly; then I laughed. Finally I said, a trace of mockery in my tone: "If I remember rightly, the lady who just spoke is the same one who I thought was so naïve thirty minutes ago."

There was no answer. Mimah brushed past me and took her ringing phone.

After some few minutes from her phone.

Her expression was more serene; I noted she was constantly looking at her watch. She looked at me steadily, said, "I don't think I will be able to be with you in the library. All the contesters are needed in the E block after twenty minutes."

"I thought the contest was supposed to start at 2300 hours," I said.

The girl shrugged; there was an arrogant note in her voice as she replied, "I will see you in the contest," she said, "Before I forget I will send a friend of mine to pick you at 2200 hours."

I didn't speak. I went in the library quickly. Somehow it did not matter so much that she left in hurry, now, in some way, I was closer to her life than before; the one thing of real importance at the moment.

Thank you for the answering, I thought, not knowing that I was praying. Thank you for the answering!

And now in the library would be silence, researching and waiting. That, at least, had not changed. My eyes turned to the library clock.

One hour and thirty minutes to complete her assignment.

Chapter II

Voice of Cumming

Carol was sitting cross-legged on the stage, sipping Redbull and listening to the country music to her IPad behind the screen of faded school tapestry. She looked up and saw us, and she didn't like what she saw.

She got up. She was half-Kikuyu, built light and wiry, and she moved like a cat. She had long emerald eyes and black hair with little clusters of earrings in her ears. She was wearing a tight jeans and purple chemise. She was something to look at, and she had a disposition like three yards of barbed wire.

Juliet said, "Hi Carol. This is Mimah's friend who I was told to pick. Climb down, huh?"

Juliet was beautiful with shoulder, short black hair and brown eyes as well as having nicest bodies in the Campus. Her breasts weren't large though they certainly weren't small and they rode high on her chest as befitting a twenty one year old girl. Her waist was tiny making her full around ass appear larger than it actually was.

Carol looked me over. She smiled and climbed down and put her hand on my arm. She sounded like a shower of rain when she moved, and her long nails bit into me, hard.

She said between her teeth, "What is your name."

"Bwire," I said blandly

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Not more than half dozen of girls I knew could ask a guy that question audaciously. But this one was one hell of a girl.

Juliet started to protest, but Carol smiled and tinkled my head back. "Of course, he does not have."

My heart fell to the ground. A sharp shuddering breath escaped my lungs as I had no choice but to answer her.

I kept silent.

"Silence, huh?" Carol shook her head lightly. "What does silence means?"

If I tell you now that I liked Carol at the moment it will be a lie. I felt bullied by her; bullied by a girl.

I shrugged and went out for some air for approximately fifteen minutes. When I came in, Mimah Mohammed was on the stage and she had all the audience. The modeling agency must have passed the high sign. I shoved my way through some few people and sat down between Carol and Juliet.

The contest started with a music. Mimah wearing a beautiful Swahili dress and walked on the stage. I don't think I breathed all the time she was on the stage. I don't remember any male human breathing either with no exception of Carol. We just sat and stared, sweating with nervous ecstasy, shivering occasionally, with the movement of her walk and shouting and turnoffs of her.

Damn! She was not human. I mean the girl was not human. She was sunlight, quicksilver, golden apple, a leaf riding the wind—but nothing human. She was oh, hell, there aren't any words. She was the Mother of Beauty.

When she was through; she stood there a long time, perfectly still. Then the students and other male contesters, let go a yell and the audience came up to tore the seats.

In the middle of it, Carol looked at me with a deadly blue eyes and said, "I suppose you have affection for her."

"I don't know," I lied.

I grew aware how they both looked at me. For a moment I felt very close to humiliation; how Carol gazed at me after my confession.

"If you are, Mimah she is far off your league dude," Carol snarled.

"Yeah. But between me and her it doesn't have anything to do with you, baby."

"Listen, what you are called again..." she said, "Oh, Bwire. This suitcase outfit isn't enough for two of us," she snarled.

Fuck! She was a lesbian.

I shook my head. Unsmilingly, I said, "Does she know you have a thing for her? And if she knows would she consider you as a friend? I bet not."

I saw instantly that her basic anger was too great for the kind of logic. I went on swiftly: "Besides you'd to understand your desires are against our societal acceptance. I have no doubt you could do that for personal reasons. But for our social moral ethics, I doubt that."

"You think you are smart!" growled Carol. "You aren't smart. You are a freak."

"Just like a sheep. Why won't you just be a good loser?" I replied back.

She explained why. A lot didn't make sense, and none of it was rational. Presently she went out, leaving me sore and little uneasy. She could make trouble.

Oh, hell! Another dame sore she was outclassed. Erotic temperament, plus jealousy. So what? Let her try something. I could handle it. I'd handled people before and this was no different.

All the sudden, Ricky jammed his way to the stage. Mimah was being mobbed. She looked happy—maybe this has been one of her dream come true.

The lines of light on the surface flickered and shifted. Then settled unexpectedly like the ball in the game of chance to where Mimah was standing. A minute after that I felt like crying as the world began to move. I stood up, frowning. Odd that Ricky would act without verification of her...

She returned the kiss.

I thought sharply: This couldn't never be real. Any minute now she will slap the hell out of him and—

My thought ended.

Dreams are like this, I told myself.

"In dreams things happen without meaning anything. But you are not dreaming, this is real," a voice said in my head.

I was in the space. Far, far below was the receding planet of love. To one side gleamed the vast dark hull battleship; and on every side, and up, and down, were stars and the distance of another heartbreak.

In spite of all my will, the shock was inexpressibly violent.

My active mind jerked. I staggered physically; and I would have fallen like a blindfolded creature except that, in the movement of trying to keep on my feet, I recognized I was still on my feet to the main door.

Somewhere in the midst of the darkness and blazing stars, a girl's clear and resonate voice said: "Well, Leah, did you tell me those two lover-birds were done?"

The reply came from a second, an older-sounding girl's voice: "They were done. In fact, she even slapped him when she was with that weird, ugly-looking assignment nerd. Who some of his classmate claims that he is nuts"

I said swiftly to myself into the night around me: "You're quite mistaken. I am not mad."

And to make it worse, Carol was the girl with elderly voice claiming that I was mad. My headache was growing larger and larger with each passing second, I took a deep breath to explode them, but depression beat me to the punch.

Knowing that confronting Carol will just led to my another humiliation; I decided to use the utter darkness to my advantage by taking myself to the C block unnoticed (as I came to notice later I'm not that good). I walked to the Block C1A door and flung it open and helped myself to the one of the chairs on right side of the corner.

The sweat dripped from me as I sat on the chair to cool down. I sat in that empty room for five minutes trying to understand myself better with girls; then I decided to take a nap.

"Evans," somebody shook my shoulder. "Evans wake up." Again, my shoulder was shaken, slightly harder this time, "Evans please get up."

My eyes opened slowly, and I reflexively lifted my head up only to see Juliet standing next to me, her hand still resting on my back warmly. She was wearing blue knee length jeans and a white blouse, which seemed different from the previous blouse which was purple in color. I had to admit she looked nice in it.

"Hey Juliet," my voice was croaky, "What is the time?"

"Well, it is 12:00 am."

I stood up and looked around, "did I sleep two full hour in this class?"

"You can say that," she replied.

The classroom was empty as I come in, and after looking outside the window and seeing the darkness outside I conclude it was well past midnight.

"How did you find me?" I asked Juliet.

"A friend of mine told me where you were."

"It means that somebody saw me when I came in this class?"

"Yes. It was Carol who saw you."

"Carol! That bitch..." I groaned.

"I heard Carol say to her friends that I'm nuts."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know," she warmly comforted me, rubbing my back. Her touch felt amazing against my back, instantly soothing me and allowing me to relax only if for a moment. "Do you mind if I ask you something Evans?"

"Go ahead Juliet."

"You can call me Jully," she smiled, "but I was wondering if you could tell me what happened between you and Ricky. I heard some...pretty strange rumors throughout some few hours in the Main Hall."

"Ricky bumped to into us in the library door and ended trying to pick some fight. That's all. I didn't fight or scowled him; maybe a little. All I did, I tried to be there for Mimah."

"It must've been very depressing to see Mimah and the guy you thought she needed protection from kissing on the stage."

I got up and I tried to leave but she grabbed onto my arms and looked at me worried, "Are you really ok?" You can tell me Evans, Am I not your friend?"

"Um, thanks Jully but I don't think that you can help me with the problem like this."

"C'mon, you can trust me. How bad can it be?"

I sighed, and quite resisting, "I'm in love with Mimah."

She released me immediately, "Oh...I see. Well, I guess I can't blame you for falling for her. She is the most beautiful young woman in this Campus."

"True," I nodded awkwardly as tension began to build up. We were both diverting our eyes from one another, obviously embarrassed that I declared my Love for Mimah to her friend. The problem was that I didn't have time for somebody else to take pity on me, I needed to leave as soon I could.

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