The Outsider Ch. 14

Ruthie noticed that Mr. Sinclair always talked about things that were in the past. She fully understood that he was a man with no future, just one person out of hundreds of millions who had been pushed aside by globalization and "progress". The world had changed around Mr. Sinclair and the future would have no place for people like him. And since...the world had no place for Mr. Sinclair, since he was part of a United States that already had passed into memory...was there any point for him to continue with his life? Yes, for the time being there was, because he was holding out until Mike and his sister could get through college. But then...after they graduated and the family lost the house, why would he want to deal with staying alive? For what? Everything that he had known and the society that had created him were gone...leaving him as nothing but a ghost living among the ruins of what had been, but was no more.

As she looked at Mr. Sinclair and perceived the true defeat in his expression, she thought to herself: this guy knows...he understands. At that moment, she felt a secret connection with Mike's father. It was a connection she probably could never voice or express, but still it was there.

Ruthie felt that Mr. Sinclair already was more dead than alive. The passing of that man's world was only a tiny manifestation of the impending death of a society, of a nation, and ultimately of a species. She suspected that Mike could not fully perceive that reality because he was too close to his father to view him objectively. Mike also was too much of an optimist, thought Ruthie to herself, still too naïve to understand how truly hopeless the condition of humanity really was. Like his fucking politics was gonna fix anything...

Finally they stopped at "family dining" restaurant. After they sat down, Ruthie's normal shyness was not a problem when she talked to Mike's father. Mrs. Sinclair may have had very reserved feelings about Ruthie, but his father really started to like her. She talked naturally to him, which surprised Mike as much as Mike's handling of Doña Lisette had surprised Ruthie. The difference was that Mike had "performed" for Doña Lisette, but he did not feel any connection with her. With Ruthie and Mr. Sinclair it was different: a real connection that neither could define nor articulate.

When they left the restaurant and were driving back to the house, she reached over and took Mike's hand. She felt the need to comfort him, but she also felt that she needed reassurance from him as well. And yet, subconsciously what she really wanted was be alone with Mr. Sinclair. He was the one looking into the abyss and who clearly understood that. Ruthie wanted to stand next to him, because she also knew...

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By the time they returned to the Sinclair house, it was getting late. Mike hugged his parents and left with his girlfriend, to return to a place where supposedly they were preparing for their future.

There was one more stop to make, one more thing that Mike needed to show Ruthie. He proceeded to the infamous Mega-Mart that had finished off his family's business. The building stood abandoned and boarded up. Already the parking lot was cracked and full of grass. The company had put up a chain-link fence around the entire area topped with razor wire. Mike knew from his readings that Mega-Mart had no intention of ever selling the land, because the holding company wanted to make sure no one else could utilize it. The United States was full of similar abandoned Mega-Marts, strategic parcels of land that would permanently remain off-limits for anyone's use, even though the stores themselves were closed and the buildings reduced to decaying ruins. Mega-Town Associates' official policy was never to sell assets once they were acquired, because the company's long-term goal was to establish exclusive ownership of the world's resources. Anyhow, the land itself was a tax write-off, so to leave it unused made perfect economic sense.

Mike commented: "You know...there used to be a pond here...when I was a little kid I'd come here to go fishing with my grandfather...ducks came through here in the fall...it was a nice place. It was county-owned land, but Mega-Town won a lawsuit and that's how they got to build on it."

From the Mega-Mart they drove past blocks of 1960's houses. Many of them were for sale. Most of the others were occupied by older people, people who had bought into the real estate market back in the days when houses were still affordable in California. All from a bygone era...

Mike turned onto the highway and drove his girlfriend back to Davenport. She turned on a radio station that featured music from the 1980's. After a couple of songs they heard the voice of the famous singer Bruce Springsteen singing "My Hometown"

Now main streets whitewashed windows and vacant stores Seems like there ain't nobody wants to come down here no more They're closing down the textile mill across the railroad tracks Foreman says these jobs are going boys, and they ain't coming back to... Your hometown Your hometown Your hometown Your hometown

Last night me and Kate...we laid in bed talking about getting out Packing up our bags maybe heading south I'm thirty-five we got a boy of our own now Last night I sat him up behind the wheel and said: Son, take a good look around This is your hometown

Mike said nothing, but Ruthie noticed him tightening his lips and holding back tears. She had nothing to say either, but she put her hand on his arm to try to comfort him.

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After Mike and Ruthie left, the Sinclairs briefly discussed the day and what they thought of their son's new girlfriend from Salinas. Mrs. Sinclair was not impressed with her.

"She's cute, which I suppose is what he sees in her. But there's something about her that's not right. I can't put my finger on it, but to be honest, I think she's kinda creepy."

Mr. Sinclair didn't answer right away. Mike's mother added:

"I just wish he'd get back together with Lisa. The Campbell girl was so perfect for him..."

"And I say screw Lisa Campbell. I'm glad he's rid of her. She was a phony. I like Ruthie a lot better. She's not 'normal', but so what? At least that girl's got a brain and you can have a conversation with her."

"Well...I guess. But I'm still not thrilled about her."

Mrs. Sinclair decided to go for a swim. She took off her clothes in the bedroom and wrapped a towel around herself. She went out to the pool for an evening swim, tossed the towel in a lounge chair, and dove in. She would do her laps...work off her stress, of which she had plenty.

As soon as he heard his wife splashing in the water, Mr. Sinclair went into the garage and pulled up a small door that led into the crawlspace under the house. He took a flashlight and fumbled around in the dark moldy area. He shined his light at several wooden studs, noticing to his satisfaction that the damage by the termites that had invaded their house had progressed.

Yes, my little white ladies, eat. Eat to your hearts' content. Eat up all those profits they think they're gonna get when they foreclose.

Mr. Sinclair knew that the termites had been destroying the house for several months. Most homeowners would have been horrified upon seeing the damage, but Mr. Sinclair was elated. The termites were destroying a house that within a short time would no longer be his. The lenders would snatch their prize, only to discover it was worthless.

Yes, my pretty little white ladies...enjoy your meal...I'm not gonna bother you.

Mike's father shined a flashlight towards a metal gray box that he had screwed into a support beam. He opened it up to make sure its contents were clean and in good condition. He pulled out a .38 mm pistol and made sure that it was dry. He checked the bullets. They still looked good and showed no signs of oxidation. Excellent. He pushed a small cleaning rag through the barrel of the pistol and checked the trigger. He put the weapon to his temple and dry-fired. It clicked just fine. Satisfied, he locked the pistol and ammunition back in the box and crawled out towards the garage.

Mr. Sinclair went through the same routine every Sunday afternoon. He wanted to make sure everything was ready when the time came.