The Pain of Letting Go

As soon as my parents were out of the doorway, Claudette started. "Bob, I'm sorry," she said. "I don't want a divorce. I'll make it right. I swear it will never happen again."

"No thanks," I said. "You've already proven that I can't trust you. The only thing we need to work out is the settlement."

"Bobby we don't need a settlement. You have to let me explain this," she said.

"I don't need an explanation," I said. "You'd probably lie about that too. I propose that I give you a one-time lump sum payment of eighty thousand dollars. We let Heather live with whomever she chooses and I keep the house. The eighty in cash is more than half of our liquid assets, so it's a good deal for you. It would give you enough support for a couple of years while you get your life together or find another sucker. That's my only offer. Take it, or we go to court and you will end up getting a lot less."

"Bob, we're not doing this," she said. "I'll give you a couple of days to calm down and we'll talk again. Then maybe you'll be ready to listen. Should I bring you anything when I come back later?"

I just laughed and called nurse battle axe as soon as Claudette walked out of the door. I told the nurse that from then on, unless she cleared it with me first, only my daughter was to be allowed into my room.

A little after lunch, I had my video conference with my department heads. I informed them that my secretary Alice and my daughter Heather would be coordinating things in my absence.

Sometime after lunch there was a commotion outside of my room. I heard the nurse's deep voice as she argued with another woman. Finally, she came in and told me that there was a woman outside who claimed to be my sister in law. I told her to let her in.

Laurie came stomping into the room with her eyes narrowed into slits and her fists balled up. "What the hell is wrong with you Bob?" she yelled. "Okay he screwed up a couple of times. He was just trying to keep things together until you got better. He's never been trained to fill your shoes. So naturally he's going to make a couple of mistakes. But he's your top salesman. How are you going to keep the company afloat without his sales? And besides that he is your brother. I brought him down here so we can talk about this. We have bills to pay." she turned and looked outside in the hall.

"AJ, come in here," she screamed.

AJ came in, dragging his feet behind him. It was obvious that he didn't want to be there. He was looking towards heaven, hoping to find some way of extricating himself from the situation he found himself in.

"Good," she said. "I've got the two of you together. AJ, tell Bob that you're sorry for whatever you fucked up now. And Bob, tell my dumb assed husband that you forgive him and he can have his job back."

I laughed and looked at her. "Laurie, I'm not laughing at you, sis. You're as much the victim here as I am. Go on AJ, tell her another one."

"What are you talking about Bobby?" she asked. "What is going on?"

"Laurie, my brother is nowhere near my top salesman," I said. "In fact, he doesn't sell much at all. The only reason I haven't fired him is because he was my brother. I didn't fire him because he did something stupid at work. If that was it, I'd have fired him a long time ago."

"But that's what he told me," she said angrily. "Then, if he didn't screw up, why did you fire him?"

"Let's go, Laurie," said AJ. He grabbed her arm and tried to push her towards the door.

"Let go of me, God damn it," she hissed. Then she turned back towards me.

"Did he or did he not screw up, Bobby?" she asked. "Why did you fire him? Why didn't he get some kind of severance package?"

"He didn't screw UP," I said. "Well okay, he actually did and a lot. But I fired him because he screwed Claudette." For a very long and very tense moment no one said anything. The tension in the room was so thick you could reach out and grab a handful of it.

Then Laurie's head pivoted as if it was on a stalk. He turned and looked at AJ. "You miserable motherfucker," she screamed. Her hands reached out for him so fast that he couldn't get out of the way. Her long fingernails scraped his face and scratched so deeply that they drew blood.

"I'm sorry," shrieked AJ in fear. Luckily for him one of the security guards grabbed her before she could get her hands on him again.

Things moved pretty quickly after that. Three days later Claudette was served divorce papers at home, along with an order to vacate the house until things could be settled. She was irate and hadn't expected it. She'd really believed that I'd eventually come around and give in just like I always had.

In fact she was sitting out on the deck in the back when a car had pulled into our driveway. A tall slim young woman who looked like a college student had knocked on our gate. Claudette went over to see what was going on. "Are you Claudette Stevens?" she asked. My lawyer thought that I might want to see it so she'd used her phone to videotape it and sent it to me in the hospital.

The young woman had blonde hair. It was tied back into one long ponytail and she was chewing gum. "Yes," Claudette had told her.

"I think you've won a prize," said the young woman. "I need to verify that you are who you claim to be."

"Okay," gushed Claudette. She ran back to the house and grabbed her wallet. She showed the young woman her driver's license. The young woman actually cracked her gum a clue of times as she looked at Claudette's license.

"What did I win?" asked Claudette. "Let me have it!"

"Here ya go," smirked the blond. "You've won your freedom. You've been served. And there's an order in here for you to vacate the premises pending the disposition of the ruling. The judge apparently decided that your husband will need a familiar place to stay while recovering from his injuries, so he should have the use of the house until he's back on his feet."

"But where will I go?" asked Claudette.

"Not my business. Not my problem," said the woman cracking her gum as she turned to leave.

"Come back here you bitch!" screamed Claudette. But she'd wasted her time staring at the papers. By the time she was angry enough to try to take her problems out on the young woman she'd made it around to the driver's side of her car. She stuck her fist with the middle finger extended out the window towards Claudette and yelled "Back at ya' Grand ma," as she drove away.

The very next morning Claudette stormed into the hospital. She'd come over the evening before but it had been after visiting hours and she hadn't been able to get in. She started screaming as soon as she got near my room, but she wasn't able to get past nurse battle axe.

She got even angrier when our daughter breezed in while she was still out there fuming. On Heather's way out Claudette got her to deliver a message to me. Claudette wanted a chance to talk. I told her to get a lawyer and after my lawyer had been notified by hers, we could talk. That way I'd know that the proceedings were under way.

It was just a ruse though. Actually I was supposed to be speaking to Laurie that afternoon. Laurie had thrown AJ out of the house and the two of them had spoken at length about what happened and how long it had been going on. I wanted to see if AJ's version of things fit with Claudette's.

My lawyer, Anne, called me the next day and told me that she's spoken to the attorney that Claudette had retained. She was a little apprehensive because the guy that Claudette had retained was one of those divorce sharks. He was known for his scorched earth policies and a long string of victories although no one really wins in a divorce.

The following day which was also the day that I was supposed to be discharged from the hospital, a tearful Claudette was admitted to my hospital room.

"Bob, I'm so sorry that this happened," she said.

"Don't you really mean that you're sorry you got caught?" I asked.

"No Bob that isn't what I mean. We've been married for a long time. We have two children together and I love you. If I didn't why would I be trying so hard to keep us together? I could just let my lawyer have his way and go after everything you have. But that isn't my intention. I just want us to work at getting back to where we were before this happened. Bob, a one-time mistake shouldn't ruin a twenty three year marriage," she said. "And no matter what else happens you have to know that I love you."

"Claudette, Heather plans to stay with me," I said. "She intends to major in business in college. As part of my offer in the divorce, I'll be paying for her college."

"Bob haven't you been listening to me," she screamed. "I don't want a fucking divorce, and what about Gerry's college?"

"Gerry messed up his college career on his own," I said. "For the past three years he's failed or dropped most of his classes. He's changed his major twice. I'm not going to pay for that anymore. If he wants to go to college he can get a job and pay for it and that way he can stay in school for as long as he wants."

"Bob, I didn't want to tell you this," she said. "But the only reason I had sex with your brother was because he blackmailed me. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to tear the family apart. Like you said, your parents always take his side in everything."

"In order for him to extort you, you had to have done something that he could use for leverage," I said. "He had to have known about something that you didn't want me to know about. And even so, this is a case where you had to make a choice. You had a choice between trusting how much I love you and might be willing to forgive a mistake, and spreading your legs for some other man. You made the wrong choice. And in this case, I didn't choose between you and AJ. I fired both of you. But if you had come to me, Claudette, I loved you. I'd have taken your side over my brother any day. I'm just sorry that you didn't have enough faith in our marriage to give me to chance to."

"I really should have told you," she said.

"Well it's too late now," I said. "The only thing we can do now is have a peaceful and friendly divorce. That way it's easier on everyone involved."

"Bob haven't you been listening?" she asked. "I don't want a divorce, friendly or otherwise. You have to give me another chance. This isn't reasonable. It's not like you at all."

"Claudette, for the entire time that we've been together, even before we were married, I've always done everything the way you wanted. Even when we argued, I always gave in and let you have things your way. It won't be that way this time," I said.

"Bob, please don't do this to us. I'm sorry," she said.

"I am too," I said. "And you did this to us, not me."

"What's her name?" she asked.

"Her, who?," I asked.

"If you don't want to give me another chance, you must have some bimbo on the side that you want to move me out to make way for. If you go through with this divorce I'll ruin you, Bob," she hissed.

"Claudette, I really don't care what you think, what you want or about your threats," I said. "But I'm really trying to be nice here. The offer I made to you was a gift. You'd be wise to take it."

We fought like feral cats and rabid dogs for months. Claudette filed motion after motion. She delayed the process. She demanded counseling. She asked to throw the entire divorce out because she swore that we still loved each other but I was just angry. Her lawyer charged incredible fees the whole time. She kept trying to call me and sent me numerous messages through our daughter.

Finally we got our day in court. An hour before the hearing, her lawyer asked for a meeting. He was slicker than goose grease in his five thousand dollar suit and brass tipped shoes.

"Mr. Stevens, I'm against this meeting," he said. "I'm ready to go in there and rip you another asshole over the emotional upheavals you've put this good woman through over a one-time lapse in judgment. She was coerced into that lapse by one of your family members. But she wanted this meeting to give you one last chance to reunite with your wife and put your family back together."

"I'll pass," I said. "I have no reason to talk to her and I want the divorce. But in the spirit of good will. I would like to offer you something. If my wife decides to accept my original offer, I'll pay your fee as well. If we go in there, she won't have enough money left over when this is done to pay you. You have a lot of billable hours invested here don't you?" He gulped loudly and loosened his tie.

"Think about it," I said.

As I walked away, I heard Claudette asking him where I was going.

Once we got in front of the judge Claudette spun her heartbreaking story about how my brother had blackmailed her into having sex. She told the judge how she was a woman who'd been taken advantage of and how she'd only done it to save her family and her marriage. Since the sex with AJ had been coerced, this whole divorce was like she was being victimized twice. She had never cheated on me before that day or since and felt that I was being unfair since she'd been a good and faithful wife otherwise. She had asked on numerous occasions to halt the divorce, but had been refused. I had even refused to speak to her other than the one conversation we'd had at the hospital.

She'd even had a private investigator follow me around to dig up information on me. The investigator hadn't found anything other than a few conversations with our daughter, where I'd admitted that I still loved Claudette. She really wanted us to undergo counseling or at least put the divorce on hold. If neither of those was possible, she wanted enough support to retain the lifestyle that she'd grown accustomed to. She wanted the post-nuptial agreement that precluded her from being able to gain anything from my business in the event of a divorce, put aside and she wanted the house plus the college fees paid for both of our kids.

Her lawyer asked that I be brought to the witness stand. As I sat there he took every opportunity he had to try to humiliate me. He painted a picture of me as an entitled, spoiled, materialistic man who viewed his wife as just another of his possessions. She meant no more to me than my Mustang or my business, in his opinion. My major reason, he claimed for not taking her back was because I wasn't the kind of man who shared his possessions. And to me, Claudette having sex with someone else, even though it was my brother and it had only happened once, made her damaged goods. She had suffered deep emotional damage and he felt that our marital assets should be split 60/40 in her favor to assure that she was taken care of.

He smiled as he walked past me.

At about that time, my brother who was always late for everything, walked into the courtroom. Claudette looked nervous when she saw him.

My attorney started our case then. He referenced several statements that Claudette had made and she tried to make herself even smaller on the witness stand. I think that Claudette knew then that things were over and she was done. She spoke to the judge to ask for a break. During the break, her lawyer came over to tell me that Claudette didn't want to drag the family through the mud, so she'd decided to take my offer. My lawyer told her that the offer had expired.

A few moments later Claudette was back on the stand and my lawyer asked her again about the one-time sex with my brother. He also asked her about whether or not she'd ever cheated on me before that. Claudette wiggled and whined and tried to avoid the questions. My lawyer simply restated them over and over again trying to get his answers. He finally had the judge get the court reporter to read back Claudette's statements.

Then he called my brother to the stand to testify. Claudette's lawyer objected. He told the judge that this was a divorce hearing not a trial. We didn't need to call witnesses. It was a matter between a husband and a wife. And the judge had the final say. So no one else need be present except for the parties involved, their attorneys and the judge.

My lawyer reminded the judge that Claudette and her lawyer had used the report from a PI as part of their case, even when it brought no new information forth. My brother's testimony would spread new light on the case since my wife had accused him of blackmailing her. The judge allowed AJ to speak.

AJ got on the stand and answered all questions from both lawyers. He admitted to black mailing Claudette. He'd only intended it to be a one-time thing too, three years previous when it had started, but Claudette did things that his wife wasn't willing to do so they'd continued. He also admitted that on many of the occasions when they got together it was Claudette who'd called him, including the day that I'd caught them. Hearing that part really pissed the judge off. He called Claudette's attorney to the bench and told him that he was very close to charging Claudette with perjury.

AJ kept talking. He told the judge that he'd only been able to threaten Claudette initially because a few years before the beginning of their relationship, he'd caught Claudette cheating on me. That was the leverage he'd used against her. Claudette's sobs were heard all over the courtroom.

My lawyer then called me to the stand. I recounted my recent accident and talked about my new philosophy on the pain of letting go. I told him that I was afraid of the future. I still loved Claudette, but I got over it more every day and with each new revelation. I told him that it really did hurt to think about living without her after all of these years, but that pain paled in the face of how much more it would hurt for me to stay with her after all she had done to me.

He asked me how I saw my future. I told him I'd be spending the next few months or maybe years in court. He asked me why. And I explained to him that the reason for my accident hadn't been finding out about Claudette and my brother. As usual, I'd been sitting on my feelings about that. Claudette and I had kept the incident to our-selves and I'd been avoiding my brother at work. Claudette had as usual been trying to worm her way in to getting me to forgive her and I'd been waffling towards doing so. But I'd been really pissed at my brother. Then I got the call from the dean of Gerald's college about his academic probation and the possibility that he might be thrown out of school.

That started me thinking about how much Gerald was like my brother. So I did DNA tests on the kids. My daughter is my daughter. But Gerald isn't my son. Not only that, but Gerald isn't my nephew either. AJ isn't his father. Gerald was born a year after Claudette and I were married. So she had to have been cheating on me since we'd only been married a few months. Over the past twenty plus years that we've been married Claudette has apparently never been the true and faithful wife that she portrayed herself as being. She has also knowingly defrauded me into raising another man's child and supporting him. I intend to sue both her and the biological father for that. So I'll be in court for a long time.

That was when Claudette passed out. The judge called a nurse in to see to Claudette. When she was conscious again he and most of the people in the courtroom glared at her. Her lawyer was doing his best to convince the judge that he had no foreknowledge of any of the information we'd brought forth.

The judge said that he was tempted to remand Claudette to a criminal court for fraud and for perjury, but since she and I would be in court for so long anyway he was letting it go. He split our marital assets 80/20 in my favor and left both the house and my business out of it. Each of us had to pay our own legal fees.

Claudette's lawyer almost started crying himself. He asked me if I was seriously going to sue her over Gerald and I nodded. That started Claudette crying even louder.