The Panty Raid

"With no prospect of retribution for those guys, and the rest of my life ahead of me, I decided to get help. I started seeing a therapist twice a week, and tapered off gradually. Now I only see her when I have a really bad relapse. She helped me internalize the fact that the rape wasn't my fault, and helped me find my self-respect again. Someday, I may even look forward again, to having sex."

"Why didn't Lily do the same thing?" I asked.

"She was afraid you'd find out about it, and she felt she had to protect you from your own reactions, just as if she'd told you herself."

"Any therapist who betrayed her confidence would have lost their license!"

"True, but file clerks, receptionists, and the like are all over the place. Someone would have recognized her, and you would have found out she was seeing a therapist. Don't try to tell me you wouldn't have browbeaten her to get the reason!"

"Why didn'tyoutell me then? As her best friend, you should've wanted to get her help as quickly as possible!"

"I know. I failed her that way; but at the time, I wasn't thinking clearly either. All I could see was that I would be betraying her confidence in me, and she had very little confidence in anyone at that point. It might have caused her to suicide even earlier. I just don't know."

"I guess you're right. I just feel so impotent about this."

"Both of us feel that way."

"I suspect that the shared rape experience was the reason she started being so secretive about conversations between you two..."

"Yes, I suspect so. It seemed to dominate our time, whenever we were together, either in person or on the phone. In a way, I think I was trying to do for her what my therapist did for me. Obviously, I wasn't very effective."

We both sat silently for a while, looking at our fingers in order to avoid looking at each other. My mind was racing. I couldn't let go of the fact that some bunch of assholes had placed so little value on the girls' humanity, that they felt it was perfectly fine to commit rape. I was not only angry with the perpetrators, I was angry at the establishment that protected those slime bags at the expense of their victims. Outwardly, I remained calm, but I knew I had to even up the scales.

"The guest room is available," I told Nadine, "if you don't want to be alone tonight."

"How would that look to your neighbors?" she queried with a sad little half-smile.

"Who gives a shit?" I shot back. "It's none of their business. We're still friends, aren't we? In case it wasn't clear, I didn't ask you to share my bed, which is still warm from Lily's body. There is another, perfectly good bed in the guest room, which you can have all to yourself for the night, or for as long as you need or want it."

"Ray," she said carefully, as she got up and walked over to me, "Sex wasn't even on my mind. It's a non-starter for a variety of reasons right now, not the least of which is, even if I could go through with it, I'd still feel like I was betraying Lily. I know you would too. As innocent as your offer is, I just don't think that staying overnight would be such a great idea. Too many people that we know would have too much to say about it.

"Besides, you know I've always had a crush on you, and as much as I need to be held and comforted at this moment, I also fear the possibilities. I don't want to feel that I'm taking advantage of you, if we ever develop a closer relationship, and I don't want to simply become a replacement for Lily, either."

I was shocked that the idea had even occurred to her. On the other hand, circumstances would lend themselves to the conclusions she pointed out. It wouldn't do any good to argue the points, though, and it might cost me a friend, so I decided to ride it out.

"All right then," I replied. "How about dinner? Surely two long-term friends can have a meal together without bringing down the moral outrage of everyone we know." She agreed, and we left the apartment to have a nice quiet dinner at a somewhat posh restaurant.

While we were out, I suggested that we keep in touch, perhaps sharing a meal on a regular basis, in order to provide mutual support for each other. She agreed to that as well. When we returned to my apartment, I walked her to her car, and gave her a chaste kiss before sending her off, much as I had done many times when Lily was alive.

As she drove away, I realized that she hadn't yet told me the names of the athletes involved in the rape. No matter. I would find out soon enough, and then I would collect my pound of flesh from each of them. I had much to do though, before that happened.
Chapter 2

Over the next ten months, I gradually escalated my high-end cosmetic surgery practice, and tapered off on thepro bonowork that had been my hallmark. Even without a fully-developed plan, I knew that whatever I ended up doing would cost some substantial bucks. One of the first things I did, was to establish a number of separate identities, under different names. At that time, it wasn't as difficult as it is now.

As a hedge against someone tracking my shifting money, I did a great deal of highly visible entertaining, always paying with cash, never demanding a receipt. I could honestly say that I had no idea how much I spent that way, and since I didn't try to use it as a tax deduction, I didn't have to know, or prove it. I began to funnel a good deal of that money, all in small cash deposits, into bank accounts that I had established under my alternate identities.

When I wasn't working, I was reading, looking for ideas that would help me in my quest to bring the criminals to justice. The only exception to that was the time I spent with Nadine. We had a kind of kinship, through our separate relationships with Lily, and our mutual trust and affection grew into genuine love.

Ever since the funeral, we had been having dinner together at least once a week, usually on Saturday evening. We talked, or rathershemostly talked, about the assaults at least some, almost every time. I think, for her, it was almost like a continuation of her therapy: one that allowed her to begin to normalize relations with the male half of our species. While she had mostly recovered, emotionally from the rape, she'd found it difficult to communicate intimately with men afterwards, so she had not accepted any dates since that night.

Although I desperately needed to know, in order to take any kind of action, I didn't push her for the names of the perpetrators. I didn't want her to get overly concerned about what I might do, once I found out. Over time, however, as she went over the events of that evening in more detail, she mentioned each of their names at least once. I made it a point to have a notepad and pen with me whenever I saw her, and I recorded those names when I could do so without her observing it.

My reasons for seeing Nadine were not all rooted in my need for vengeance. I had always liked her, and I think we both felt that sharing the knowledge of her rape gave us something intimate in common. That I was I was sympathetic, rather than judgmental about it, gave her a level of comfort with me that she couldn't have with other men.

Gradually, our dinner meetings evolved into something like real dates, and we would frequently go dancing or to the theatre, or engage in some other entertaining activity, before or after. We even started spending many of our available daylight hours together, taking day trips to the seaside, or going to the zoo. Then one night, as I was delivering my usual, chaste, goodbye kiss, she opened her mouth and licked my lips.

Now, except for the occasional grudging interlude with Rosy Palm, I hadn't had sex for nigh on to a year. My reaction to Nadine's kiss was predictable and immediate. My lips yielded to her tongue, and I sucked on it, as I pulled her into closer embrace. I began to explore her mouth as well, while stroking her back, her belly, and her breasts.

We maintained the kiss for what seemed like hours, but it was really probably only minutes, until the need to breathe more deeply asserted itself. When we broke apart, in the dim light of the city night, her eyes fixed on my face with an almost predatory intensity.

"Do you think you might be able to find a cup of coffee for a sleepy girl?" she asked, breathily.

I took her hand, and we almost ran to the elevator lobby. My apartment was near the top, and neither of us could keep our hands off the other as we rode the elevator up eleven floors. I'm glad we were going up - it was that much less likely others would be stopping the elevator to get on.

When the elevator stopped, we got off and headed for my door, stopping every few feet to dive once again into a mind-blowing kiss. I fumbled with my keys, almost dropping them twice before I got the door open.

We stood there a moment, doing nothing but looking at each other. I was thinking furiously, trying to figure out what I should do next. I guess Nadine was doing the same thing. Nothing appropriate came to mind, so like an idiot, I picked her up and carried her through the door, kicking it closed behind me.

Moving to the sofa, I sat down with her in my lap and resumed kissing. I think she was a little startled at my behavior, but it didn't take her long to resume cooperating. During an oxygen break, I remembered that she'd asked for coffee, and apologized for not having already prepared it.

"That's okay," she grinned, "I think I'm pretty wide awake now, and I like what we're doing!" So we went back to doing it. After that, my mind was put out to pasture, and my body went on automatic.

As she sat on my lap, eagerly participating in our kisses, I resumed stroking her back and started caressing her legs, unconsciously going higher and higher with each stroke. She was wearing an LBD that fell only to mid-thigh, so it wasn't long before my hand was bumping into thevery wetgusset of her panties. When she didn't object, I quit the pretense of accident and began overtly but softly stroking her mons, through those panties. The continued kisses and the rocking of her hips reassured me that I had the right to do that.

Her breasts, compressed against my chest, reminded me that she had many other admirable attributes. Because she had spent so much time with Lily and I, I'd often seen her in swimsuits, as well as in wispy undergarments and sleepwear that had left little to the imagination, but I'd never seen her unencumbered nipples, much less tasted them, and I wanted to do that, right now!

With my other hand, which had been stroking her back, I gently lowered the dress' zipper, and unset the hook that kept the back closed. She didn't seem to notice that the front of the dress practically fell off her body, leaving her bosom protected only by a lacy black bra.

I withdrew my hand from her panties, which prompted a small whine; but when I cupped one of her breasts and began to play with the nipple, her rocking resumed. It seemed she got nearly as much pleasure from my fondling her breast as she got from my petting her vagina.

With the hand on her back, I found and released the clasp of her bra, and it, too, abandoned ship, unfettering the most perfect female chest I've ever seen. I wasn't being disloyal to Lily... she was small-breasted, and we both knew it. Her breasts were perfect for her, and I loved them. Nadine, however, is a somewhat more voluptuous woman, with a proportionately larger bosom. In my experience, it is unusual for such women to have perfect, teardrop breasts, with sweet, puffy nipples that point right at your face. Nadine had them.

They drew my lips like a magnet draws steel, like a flame draws moths. They were irresistible. I closed my lips and sucked on each one, running my tongue around and over them, biting at them softly with my lips. My free hand gently squeezed, rubbed and rolled the breast that wasn't occupied with my mouth, and I kept up these ministrations until I heard her groan, and felt her body shudder. She had an orgasm, just from having her breasts sucked. This I liked!

I liked it, but I knew it was getting out of hand. Before tonight we'd been close friends, and we were getting closer. Now things were moving so fast, our relationship could end up as a train-wreck, if I weren't careful. Even if I couldn't have her as a lover, I didn't want to lose her as a friend, and I was afraid that's where we were headed.

I pulled away then, and looked her in the eyes.

"Nadine, how far do you want this to go?" I asked quietly, trying to keep my hands still.

She took a deep breath and released it, then asked, "Do you love me?"

You'd think that I would need some time to consider the answer to such a question, but I didn't. It was a given.

"Yes, I do. I think I always have."

"Then can I stay the night?"

I didn't dignify that one with an answer. I simply picked her up again, and carried her into my bedroom.

I lay her gently on my bed, and began to undress her, kissing every square inch of skin that I exposed, and going back to her lips frequently for more of what we'd already shared. I took time to touch, stroke, kiss and lick her everywhere, as well as to stop frequently and simply enjoy her visually. This woman is an unimaginable treat!

When she was finally naked, I lost no time getting out of my own clothes. I lay down next to her and returned my lips to hers. I pulled her to me with one arm, and let the other journey down to her lightly-furred mons. She opened her legs to allow further exploration. Touching her vaginal lips, I found her wet, but not quite ready for me, so I used my fingers to start her on the path to another orgasm.

When she seemed to have had her fill of my hand, I moved my body between her legs and felt her stiffen. I knew she must be remembering that other time, so I tried to slow down even more. I kissed her again, until she again relaxed, then I started kissing lower, moving to her neck, her upper chest, her bosom, her belly, and eventually, her vagina. When I arrived there, I licked and kissed my way all the way around her vaginal lips, stopping occasionally to torture her clitoris with my tongue.

I could hear and feel her breathing faster and deeper. I could tell that it wouldn't be long before she had agoodone! When the time was right, I fastened my lips around her erect clit, and strummed it with my tongue. She went ballistic! Her hips came straight up, nearly throwing me off the bed, and I really believed that her orgasmic scream would have the neighbors, if not the police, beating at my door, in short order.

She didn't pass out, but she got very quiet, and I kept caressing her body with my hands and lips: not trying for another orgasm, just letting her know that I was still there. Presently, I heard a sniffle. Was she crying? Yes... not bawling really, just shedding a few silent tears.

I pushed myself up and crawled up to her face. I kissed her again, and took her into my arms.

"What's wrong honey? I thought you enjoyed that..."

"I did," she sobbed, "I was just thinking, this is the way myfirsttimeshouldhave been!"

"There, there," I comforted her, "In the only way that's important now, thisisyour first time."

She pushed away and looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean?"

I kissed her on the nose and said, "This is the first time you've ever actuallychosento have sex with a man, isn't it? And you expect me to make love to you, don't you? As opposed to just fucking..."

"Yes, it is! And yes, I do! I guess... itismy first time in that way..."

"For the moment then, leave the past alone and live in the now. I want to make love to you without those ghosts haunting us." And I rolled back over her, to begin rebuilding the mood.

Not long after, she was squirming underneath me, trying to move things along a little faster, so I stopped.

"Please!" she whimpered.

"Please what? What do you want?"

"I want you inside me! Please, give me your... penis? That sounds odd. What should I call it?"

"You can call it my cock, if that sounds better."

"Okay, give me your cock! I want it now!"

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Yes, a little," she whined, "but I want it so bad... Please give it to me... just be gentle, will you?"

I was gentle, but even without her hymen, she still had some discomfort. There hadn't been anything or anyone in her vagina since the night of her brutal rape, so she wasstillas tight as a virgin. Only persistence and copious amounts of natural lubrication made it possible for me to gain entry, but ultimately, I did.

Once fully seated, I paused for a long moment, allowing her to become accustomed to the invasion. When she began to move on her own, I knew she was ready to rock, so I started a slow sweet motion, in then out. She was still pretty tight, so I didn't try too hard for more friction with her labia, clit, and vaginal walls. She was going to be sore in the morning anyway... no need to make that worse.

It was surprising to me, but I managed to stay with her while she had two more semi-fantastic orgasms, before I felt compelled to unload.

"Honey, I'm going to come... what do you want me to do?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm about to jettison a huge load of baby-makers, that I've been saving up for awhile. If I don't pull out, they could make a baby inyou..."

"I might like that, but no, they won't," she said breathily, "I went on the pill after that night... just in case... you can come in me... please, come in me... let me feel you come!" Her voice went up at least an octave as she spoke, and that was all I needed. I exploded.

Eventually, I got my breath back, and found myself holding a shivering armful of beautiful woman. I kissed and hugged and cuddled her for all I was worth, whispering my love for her, until she calmed down.

After a while, I remembered what she said about the pill. Pulling back a bit, I looked at her and said, "Just in case?"

She winced, and said shakily, "Yeah. If I was raped once, it might happen again. The next time, I might not be as lucky..."

"Oh..." I pulled her back to me, and we both drifted off to sleep.

...

After that night, Nadine and I began dating openly, and on any weekend that she wasn't required to be at the University, she spent Friday evening through Sunday afternoon, with me. I, in turn, made it a point to take time to see her, during the week, and often took a hotel room for the evening, just so we could stay together, yet be near the University.

We were a good match. Neither of us would ever forget Lily, but our relationship was plenty deep. I couldn't have done that with anyone else; and she had nothing to hide from me, which is something she couldn't necessarily have with another man.

She was only a few months away from finishing her dissertation, when I presented her with an engagement ring, and asked her to become my wife. She was thrilled about being asked, and I was just as thrilled when she accepted. We spent even more time together, talking about our hopes, dreams, and expectations, concerning marriage and family, and easily came to mutually satisfactory compromises, where needed.

Her family was not wealthy, and she didn't feel the need for the "huge church wedding," anyway, so we decided to have a "destination wedding." We negotiated a wedding date and I agreed to pick up the tab for travel expenses, so that we, along with her parents and mine, could be there.

"There" was to be Hawaii.

Meanwhile, I had not forgotten my mission of retribution.

...

I had spent substantial sums of money under my alternate identity, tracking down and building dossiers on the men who had been involved in the rapes. It turned out that they had, as a group, repeated that crime with different women, throughout their college years. My "researchers" came up with a list of no fewer than two dozen women who'd been victimized by these slime bags.