The Park

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His last class with Ms. Beckman.
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My latest Erotic Chapter from the Black Birds Rest. Story takes place before blind date but after crunk. I know the grammar may be off but tell me what you think of the story please.

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After stopping at the store and picking up cups and napkins and plates, I was finally ready for my last class with Ms. Beckman. The paper goods where for a party we where having in class that night as a celebrations of sorts for the friendships we had made in her class. The party is something that she did every quarter. The Campus was starting to die down as I parked in the lot and climbed out of my car. Reaching in the back seat to grab my take home final that had to be turned in and the paper goods, I made my way up the walk way and onto the elevator that took me to the third floor of the New Building. I walked into the class and the older lady name Donna and her friend Jane were setting up the food. I walked over and sat the plates and things out.

Ms. Beckman took my final and I went over to the campus computer that they place in every class and set up the music via Internet radio. Ms. Beckman gave a speech and the party began. I was clicking and changing the different moods of the music and pulling up artist that had been requested when Yolanda walked in. Yolanda gave me a head nod and went to where my coat was laid across a table. She looked up at me and I gave her a nod to go head and move my stuff over. I took my time setting up the music as everybody got their food. I waited to the mostly women class, had gotten their food. With only Eric and me being the only males in the room. I sat down next to Yolanda and started eating my food, she turned to me and looked me in my face, and she dipped her cracker in a cheese paste and fed it to me. I looked up, having not expected her to feed me, we had been flirting the week before, but The touching of each others muscles and comparing tightness and firmness seemed only mild, compared to the feeding I was taking. I wanted her to do it again, in the worst way.

Well what do you think of my dip Dovan feeding I was taking. I wanted her to do it again, in the worst way. Well what do you think of my dip Dovan? Yolanda asked. Her eyes searching my face. I looked up from where my eyes had been locked on her hand and the sensual curve of her wrist, and saw 4 pairs of eyes locked in on me. The white chick that had a crush on me enough to give me the answers to the finale was staring daggers at me and whispering to her black friends. My hesitance was seen as a dismiss of Yolanda cooking skills. And when she re asked the question I said it, all right. Dovan don't play me I take my cooking seriously, I don't cook for to many men, and who my motivation behind this dish was you, And she paused then added Eric. Well lady it was ok, I liked it. It's ok huh. Said Yolanda Doug Shut up. Yolanda spurted as I tried to fix the hurt feeling I saw I had caused.

But the shut up was a big no no with me, and it was a major pet peeve of mine. You can yell at me or cuss me out but never try to take my voice from me. I knew that her pet peeve was her papers, you didn't write on her papers, she was a neat freak. So looked her in the face and marked her paper with a line. She gave me that same look that made my dick stiffen the first day we sat next to each other in this class. Instead of getting mad she broke down why it was important that I be honest about the dip. By this time I asked Eric as loud as I could, What you think of the cheese dip man, its nasty isn't it? No Dovan it's good. Her smile spreading across her face was worth the mean glare she cast my way before it. Dovan do you like my dip or not? Yolanda asked. I like it as much as I like you lady, and sense I got a crush on you that's a lot. I said. Dam Dovan why you have to say that.

Her blush was complete her soft golden brown complexion turned rosy. I didn't think you liked me like that. Specially after last week said I was too small. You are but I think you have a beautiful smile lady and you do have some sexy ass legs. Her frame was small but thick and well muscled. She was fit like a cheerleader. Her 5'6 height was perfect for me to hold and kiss with me standing 6ft. And her breast though small where full and more then a handful. A small C at least. She was a big girl shrunk down. With the proper muscle tones and thickness that I liked. I hadn't noticed it before because of the scrubs and sweats she wore, but last weeks touching had let me in on her secrets. When I called her small she didn't like it to the point where I had to touch her and find out for myself before she would leave me alone. The class began cleaning up and she stood up to through her dish of cheese paste away. Yolanda don't through that away. I called from where I sat.

You want it Dovan? Said Yolanda. Yea but only if you feed it to me when we get home lady. Her eyes sparkled and she walked back over put the rest of it into a small bowl with a few crackers and brought it to me. Yolanda didn't waist time she quietly packed her things and I stood and walked out of the room with her. Down the hall to the elevator and are eyes spoke even though we where silent. Stepping into the Elevator, I started to say something but a guy stepped in and stood between us. He got off at the next floor and before anybody else could get on she reached over and hit the button to close the door. I looked at her and holding the bowl with the paste I looked her in the eye. Yolanda if you feed me another cracker I'll give you my honest view lady. She reached into the bowl and got the paste on the cracker and leaned over and placed it in my mouth, her fingers gently touching the side of my face as she placed the cracker and paste in my mouth. At that moment I would have said the cracker was as sweet as honey, as savory as wine, and as tasty as cake.

Its good I said and looked her in the face. I wanted to hold her hand but settled for walking next to her and talking as we walked to our cars. Dovan I have a man I'm sorry to say. Said Yolanda. Well lady I am not trying to be your man, I settle for being in your life and knowing you. She turned to me and I put my hands out. My Car is that way I said. Yea mine is right there. She said pointing over her shoulder. She came forward then and slid into my body, here hands going inside of my coat and rapping themselves around me. She had told me she had a thing for big teddy bear men, but as my arms went around her and I hugged her with all my strength more then a hug was passing between us, thoughts and a opportunity missed was flowing there.

The sensation of warmth flowed up my spine and was match and radiated from her. We separated and I wanted to kiss her but feeling embraced she turned from me and rushed to her car. I got into my car thinking dam boy. I headed for the park and all though it was dark I needed to clear my head by looking out at the city from Clear View Park. I got out and walked over and sat down on a stone table and looked at the sky. Why me, why don't I ever get to have the girl just once. There was a car approaching and I was pretty sure it was a cop coming through the park to give tickets and to flush out anybody who was in here after hours. I didn't even really turn around just waited for him to put a spotlight on me or to give a honk or something. The car cut its light, which startled me; I looked back and without the lights to blind me I could see that it was Yolanda, getting out of her Nissan.

Lady what are you doing up here. Dovan please don't say anything. Yolanda said. She walked to me and hungrily kissed me. I picked her up and she rapped her little legs around me. Her 150 pounds seeming light as I held her ass in my hands. I walked back over to the picnic table and continued to kiss her. My coat was on the table and I sat her on it. Dovan when I hugged you I felt like if I didn't see you again and hug you I would regret it more then anything I have ever regret it before. I kissed her on the mouth and drunk in her sprit. My hands finding the drawstring of her scrubs. I slid my hand down and felt her thong panties. The lace playing over my finger tips.

I pushed past the garment and spread her lips. Her small hands going up under my shirt and rubbing my nipples as I began to spread the wetness I found between her thighs to her clit and pussy lips. Her body shivered as I stroked over the top of her clit with the deeper sensual motions of my tongue mimicked by my fingers. I use my other hand to undo her bra and leaned into her from pushing my skin against hers as I slowly worked her clit between my fingertips. The wetness growing as her moans increased. I let her unbuckle my pants and take my manhood in her hands feeling myself swell to her touch. Are eyes met and she scooted to the end of the table and turned around. Her thick ass and thighs inviting me inside of her. I gripped her and felt my way by instinct to her sun. The sensation was intense and the feeling of wetness flowing up and over my penis.

My shaft disappearing inside of her by starlight. The urgency great as her breathing changed and deepened. I pressed forward reaching for her shoulder and drawing her back on my shaft. Pushing my shaft inside of her. My dick throbbing with the pressure being placed on it. Her muscles grasping and releasing around me as I pounded harder inside of her. I impaled her on me as she began to move up and down with me. Modestly forgot are close fell from between us her thong and pants around her ankles and my undies and pants down the same way. She gave as well as she got as are fluids mingled. My pre-cum linking from the tip of my shaft. Her thick white sugar walls leaking and making a mess at the base of my dick. Her head arching back and calling my name in a breathless grunt.

Dovan Dovaaaaannnnnn I'm cumming dam I'm cumming Dovan. My moment was here, as I met her stroke for stroke and pounded to hold on to it as I stretched and pushed the last half an inch of erect penis up inside her to live with the other 7 inches that had found occupancy inside of her. Her orgasm took her and mine was as strong, My dick pumping hot and thick cum inside of her. Not allowing any juices to escape. Yolanda pussy milked my shaft. She leaned back into me and I on her. We cleaned up with some napkins and I held her in my arms and watched the sun come up for the very first time it felt like. Not a cloud in the bright blue sky.

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
That's so sexy!

You have an amazing talent but it is totally overshadowed by all of grammatical and spelling errors. I also feel like the story would flow better and be alot more effective if you extracted the dialogue of the characters from the major paragraphs and put them in their own individual paragraphs especially sense it's written in narrative form. This constructive observation applies to all of your stories that I have read. I think you could be really great at this if you had good editor.

P.S.- I really like the black romance aspect of your stories. I don't get to read many of those on this site. I think it should be a catagory by itself, what do you think?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Okay, you wanted comments

This story, as well as your others, was difficult to read. After a couple of paragraphs with the others, I didn't bother.

Proper punctuation--along with grammar and spelling--shows that the author respects his readers enough to want to make it easier for them to read his work. And that he respects his work enough to want to help the reader to understand it. You should try it.

What do I think of the story? Mostly boring. Your characters show little personality and the plot shows little of interest. All that's left is the rather humdrum description of the sex act.

For the mechanics, I suggest working with a volunteer editor, available on this site, and learning from the corrections that they may recommend. As for the story elements, the only thing I might suggest is to read a lot of stories, make a list of the ones you found outstanding, and then try to analyze what made them so. Then try to use those as a guideline in your future writings.

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