The Password

For the first time Charlie was about to introduce his mother to the internet. At first she wasn't too keen on technology these days, but the young man was able to convince her to take a shot at it. Little did he know that his day would end up being a bit chaotic.

His mom sat by the laptop, ready to do some shopping on line for the first time in her life. Rita seemed uncomfortable at first; having to shop without looking at other people's faces and saying thank you before leaving the store. Still, her curiosity got the best of her.

"Okay, mom", said Charlie, "I hope you're ready."

"Don't worry", said Rita, "just tell me what I need to know."

"First off, all you need is to type in the password and then you're all set."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"All righty. So, how many words do I put in?"

"Just one word that's easy to remember."

"Okay, I'm ready. What is it?"

"Where."

"Huh?"

"Where."

"Where what?"

"The password."

"What is it?"

"Where."

"Where what?"

"The password."

"Well, what is it?"

"Where."

"What?"

"Where."

"What?"

"Where."

"Where's what?"

"The password."

"Then what is it?"

"I just told you."

"What is it?"

"Where."

"The password."

"Where."

"I don't know where it is. Do you have it, dear?"

"No, mom, the password is where."

"So, where is it?"

"I told you."

"When?"

"Not when, where."

"Where what?"

"The password."

"So, tell me."

"Where."

Rita's frustrations started to kick into high gear.

"Dear", she said, "are you hard of hearing?"

"No", said Charlie, "I'm not hard of hearing."

"You must be because you can't answer my question."

"What question?"

"The password."

"Mom, I told you a thousand times."

"A thousand times? I didn't hear you the first time."

"I did tell you."

"When?"

"Mom, I told you it's one word."

"So, what is it?"

"Where."

"You did it again."

"Did what again?"

"Answer my question."

"What question?"

"What is the password?"

"Where."

Rita was growing fed up and looked at her watch, counting down each passing second.

"Mom", said Charlie, "what are you doing?"

"Checking how many minutes I have before the liquor store closes."

"Mom, you're not going out to get drunk."

"I might as well since my son continues to play games with me."

"I'm not playing games with you."

"You keep telling me I need the password and you won't tell me."

"I did tell you."

"What is the password?"

"No, where is the password."

"What?"

"No, where."

"Nowhere is the password?"

"No, it's not."

"Not is the password?"

"No, no that's not it."

"I'm I getting close?"

"Mom, please it's very easy to remember."

"How is it easy if you won't tell me?"

"I did tell you."

"And I asked you what is the password."

"And I told you where is the password."

"So where is it? Is it in your pocket?"

Now Charlie's frustrations grew into high gear. He thought about giving up and maybe bang his head towards the nearest wall.

"It's not in my pocket", he said.

"Where is it then?" Rita asked. "Is it in my pocket?"

"No, mom please. I'm trying to explain to you that the password is one word, that's all."

"And I've been asking you what is the password, but you keep telling me where and I don't know where it is."

"Because that is the password."

"What is the password?"

"Where is the password."

"Where?"

"Exactly."

"Exactly is the password?"

"No, where."

"Where what?"

"No, where."

"Where what?"

"No, where."

"What?"

"Where."

"What where?"

"No, where."

"What?"

"Where."

"Why do you keep asking me? In a few minutes I'm going to the loony bin, but not before I choke the life out of you."

"Mom, I keep telling you it's one word."

"And you're not telling me."

"I've been telling you all day."

"No, you haven't."

"Yes, I have."

"Okay, let's try this again. The password is one word, just one word, am I right?"

"Yeah."

"And the password is what?"

"No, it's where."

"Where is it?"

"No, that's the password."

"That's is the password?"

"No, that's not it."

"That's not it is the password? You told me it was one word."

"It is one word."

"What?"

"Where."

"What?"

"No, where is the password."

"Why do you keep asking me?"

"I'm not asking you anything."

"I don't know where the password is, so stop asking me."

"I'm not asking where the password is, I'm telling you where is the password."

"I say again, why do you keep asking me?"

"I'm not asking anything."

"You keep asking me for the password and I don't know where it is."

"That's because the password is where."

"Where?"

"Right."

"So the password is right?"

"No, it's not right."

"It's wrong?"

"Yes, it's wrong."

Rita punched up the word on screen but was denied entry. "Nothing happened."

"That wasn't the password", said Charlie.

"You told me it was wrong."

"No, I didn't."

"You told me it was wrong."

"I told you the password was where."

"Again with the question."

"Mom , it's not a question. I've been telling you what the password is."

"Have you told me? No."

"Yes, I have and you haven't been listening."

"I have been listening, young man, but all you do is ask me where the password is."

"Because where is the password."

"Where is the password?"

"Exactly."

"Now the password is exactly?"

"No, mom the word is where."

"Where?"

"Exactly."

"You said it's not exactly."

"It's not."

"Not is the password?"

"No, that's not the password."

"What is the password? Let me guess, where is the password?"

"Yes, finally."

"Where is the password?"

"Right."

After one word exchange after another, Rita had finally figured out what Charlie had been trying to tell her all along.

"Oh", said Rita, "now I get it. You were telling me where is the password, and not asking me where is the password. Why didn't you say so?"

Charlie let out a sigh of relief and decided to do some drinking himself. He put on his jacket and decided to head straight for the liquor store.

"Mom, I'm going to get drunk for awhile. Do you need anything?"

"Get me a malt liquor."

"I could use a big one myself."