The Path Home

I began thrusting my hips, and in this position, it was easy for me to reach around and stroke her clit. Soon her hips were moving too, perfectly matching my rhythm. I took hold of her shoulders for more leverage so I could thrust harder. Caroline pressed her mouth against the pillow and moaned, and as I gazed down at her, I thought that this must be what people meant when they talked about making love. It sure didn't feel like a simple fuck.

Caroline turned her head so she could kiss me again. Our lips parted, tongues touching, and the sounds she made, helpless moans in my mouth that she didn't seem to be able to control, made my cock pulse inside her.

"I'm going to come soon," I whispered, and she nodded, her breathing growing faster again. I worked my fingers over her swollen clit, coaxing her to another orgasm. I came as soon as I felt the first contraction around my cock, and after a few more frantic thrusts, I slowed my pace and let her clenching muscles milk me of every last drop.

Still inside her, I wrapped her in my arms. Caroline took my hand and brought it to her mouth, brushing her lips over my knuckles. We dozed for a while, and when I felt her stir, I opened my eyes and found the room almost dark.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, rolling on her back to look at me. "I'm not a great cook, but I can whip up something simple."

"Hey, I was supposed to take you to dinner," I said.

Caroline raised her arms and stretched, letting out a groan. "Tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to stay here with you."

"Well, I'm not letting you cook for me on our first date," I teased, just so I could hear her laugh again. "Tell you what. I'll run into town and get some takeout. You like Chinese food?"

"I love Chinese food."

"Hell, Dad normally drinks his dinner, but he has a weakness for sweet and sour chicken, so I'll get something for him, too."

We sat up in bed, and Caroline smoothed her tousled hair back from her face. I couldn't resist planting a quick kiss on her breast.

"Don't even start that, or we'll never get around to eating dinner," she said. I grinned and got out of bed to pull on my clothes, feeling like a fifty-pound weight had fallen from my shoulders. Maybe this is happiness, I thought.

Caroline grabbed a robe from her closet and slipped into it. It tied at the waist, and I imagined untying that sash later as I knelt before her. She walked me to the door and gave me a kiss. "Hurry back," she said.

"Will do." I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I walked to the truck. Driving into town, I whistled along to the song on the radio, the window rolled down so I could feel the evening air against my face. I could still smell Caroline on my skin.

The restaurant wasn't busy, so it didn't take me long to get the food and head back home. I pulled into my driveway and parked the truck, giving Caroline's house a longing glance. When I bounded up my porch steps and tried the door, I found it unlocked.

"Dad," I called as I stepped into the living room, "you left the damn door unlocked again." The living room was dark, but a light was on in the kitchen. "You want someone to walk in and rob us of what little we still have?" I didn't hear any sound, so I went into the kitchen and placed the carryout bag on the table. "Hey, Dad, I picked up some dinner for you. One of your favorites."

He was either ignoring me or passed out. Probably the latter. I started down the hall and froze when I spotted Dad's feet sticking out of his bedroom doorway. "Dad!" I shouted, running to him. He'd fallen plenty of times and had always managed not to seriously hurt himself.

Flipping on the bedroom light, I found him lying on his back, eyes half-open with that empty stare only the dead can have. I couldn't bring myself to touch him. My head was swimming, and I thought I might fall down beside him, but I managed to run out of the house and back to Caroline's.

I pounded on her door until she opened it, and when she saw my face, her eyes widened in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"Dad's dead," I choked. My throat felt like it was closing. It was like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs no matter how hard I gasped for breath.

Caroline led me inside and to the sofa. Standing before me, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and I rested my face against her stomach. "I'm so sorry, Russ. Just sit here and I'll call someone."

I nodded, feeling numb. As I heard her speaking softly on the phone in the kitchen, I shook my head hard as if that would make the reality sink into my skull. I knew Dad was a hopeless drunk, but he'd been that way as long as I could remember, and it was easy to think that he'd just keep on being that way far into the future.

Caroline came back into the living room. She'd pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans and sneakers. "Someone's on the way," she told me, smoothing my hair from my forehead.

We made our way back to my house in the dark. Caroline had turned her porch light on, giving us some illumination. When we reached my porch, I stopped short. "I don't want to go back in there," I said. "I don't want to see him that way again."

"You don't have to," Caroline said gently. She stepped through the front door, which I'd left wide open, and flipped the porch light on so we could see. Then she grabbed my hand and eased me down beside her on the porch step, and we waited.

***

I didn't watch as the men removed Dad's body from the house. Caroline rested a hand on my shoulder as I turned away, taking ragged breaths. When I'd answered all the questions and the house was finally empty, she told me she didn't want me staying by myself that night. Honestly, I didn't want to stay in that house alone, either. It had been a dreary place with Dad around, but now that he was gone, the emptiness was unbearable.

I lay in Caroline's bed, waiting until her breathing grew even and I was sure she was asleep, and then I curled up on my side, my back to her, and pressed a hand to my eyes. I didn't make a sound, but the sobs shook my shoulders. Part of me was ashamed for crying. I wondered if my dad would have shed a tear for me if I was the one who had died. But I wasn't crying for the man I knew as my father; I was crying for the man he never had been, and would never have the chance to be.

I felt her hand, small and warm on my back. Caroline didn't say a word, just scooted closer and spooned her naked body against mine. She slipped an arm around me and held on tight. She was still holding me when I finally fell asleep.

***

I spent the following night with Caroline, and the one after that. She helped me plan a simple memorial service for Dad, and I was surprised at the number of people who showed up to pay their respects. Some of his former coworkers from the hospital stopped by, and Mitch made an appearance; he was actually sober for once. Anthony and his parents came, too. Caroline stayed by my side the entire time, holding my hand. It was only when the service was over and everyone drifted from the funeral home to the parking lot that Anthony drew me aside while his mom chatted with Caroline.

"I'm really sorry about your dad, man," he said, giving me an awkward hug. I thanked him and stared down at the asphalt under my feet. The day was clear, not a cloud in the sky, and the sunlight warmed my skin and made me sweat beneath the suit I wore. Anthony leaned closer, his hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Mr. Harper told Mom that you're staying with Caroline now."

I stared at him, my brow furrowed. "Yeah, I am. So?"

Anthony lowered his eyes and squirmed. "Dude, she's old enough to be your mom. I'm just worried about you. You're grieving for your dad, and maybe you're not thinking clearly right now."

I clapped him on the back, hard enough to send him stumbling. "My thinking's plenty clear. Now I appreciate your concern, Anthony, but I'd appreciate it even more if you kept it to yourself."

A flash of anger darkened my friend's face. "Fine. I guess you don't care about how pathetic you look—"

This time I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and gave him a shake. "What did I just say?" I hissed through my teeth.

"Hey!" Caroline yelled from across the parking lot. Her voice made me release Anthony and step back. She hurried toward me in her low heels. "Everything okay?" she asked once she reached us.

Anthony held up his hands. "Just fine, Caroline. Looks like you have everything under control here."

I started at him again, but Caroline held me back, and Anthony turned on his heel and strode toward his parents. "Fucker," I called after him.

Caroline gaped at me. "What the hell was that about? You and Anthony have been friends for years."

I wrapped an arm around her waist and led her to my truck. "He was out of line, that's all."

We were silent during the drive home, but once I pulled up in front of her house, she turned to face me. "That argument you had with Anthony—it was about you and me, wasn't it?"

I ran a hand through my hair and stared ahead. "He was just talking shit. Don't worry about it." I started to get out so I could go around to the passenger side and open the door for her, but she grabbed my arm.

"Russ, maybe you need some space. I understand if you do. I mean, I've been with you practically every minute since your dad died—"

I pulled her to me and kissed her hard, my tongue working its way into her mouth. It was a messy kiss, with my teeth knocking against hers, but I was like a man drowning as I clung to her. "Does it seem like I need space?" I asked once I let her go.

She searched my face for a long moment and then shook her head. "Come on inside," she told me.

***

"You should just move in here," Caroline said after two weeks had passed. In that span of time, I'd been to my own house only to work on repair jobs in the garage. Even after I picked up Dad's ashes from the funeral home, I went inside the house just long enough to place the urn on the dresser in his bedroom.

Now I sat at Caroline's kitchen table, having wolfed down a plate of eggs and bacon as she sipped her coffee. She was already dressed for work and would be leaving in a few minutes. I stared at her, not sure I'd heard correctly. "You want me to move in here?"

"Why not?" She gave a casual shrug.

"Well, my income isn't exactly steady. I'm afraid I wouldn't always have the rent on time."

Caroline set her coffee mug on the table. "Russ, I don't expect you to pay rent. I'm asking you to move in because I like you being here. But I understand if you need your own place." She pushed her chair back and climbed to her feet.

I stood up fast, banging my leg on the table in the process. "That's not it at all. I just don't want you to think I'm taking advantage."

Caroline rested her hands on my shoulders. She had to tilt her head to look into my eyes. "I don't think that. I'm the one asking you. Hell, if you could take care of the yard work and fix stuff around the house, I'd be happy."

"I can do that," I said. "And whatever else you need me to."

She slipped her hand between my thighs and gave my cock a soft squeeze. "I can think of plenty for you to do."

"Damn it, woman," I growled, "don't start that, or I will make you late for work."

Caroline laughed and gave me a quick kiss. "Promises, promises. I'll see you this evening."

***

Spring gave way to summer. Thunderstorms occasionally rolled down from the hills and provided some relief from the heat and humidity. When Caroline and I weren't working, we went for long drives in the country, sitting in comfortable silence as the scenery rolled by, or we went to the movies, or just strolled past the shops in town, holding hands. She even got me watching some shows on public television. Some nights, I was content to rest my head in her lap as we lounged on her sofa and she read snippets of poetry to me. I didn't understand all the words, but they sounded beautiful coming from her mouth.

During a trip to the local bookstore, Caroline bought me a Neil Gaiman novel. "I think you'll like it," she said. I started reading it and had to force myself to put it down. I finished it in two days, and the bookstore became one of our regular hangouts.

Then there were the evenings when Caroline came home from work, and without a word, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bedroom. Sometimes we didn't even make it that far before she dragged me down to the floor, moaning as she kissed me, waiting until I was hard for her (which never took long), and then she straddled me. Our cries echoed throughout her house as she rode me, my hands cupping her breasts, squeezing the tender flesh.

Some nights I woke to her nuzzling my cock, coaxing it to hardness with her hands and lips, licking and sucking and stroking, and I felt something catch in my chest. I wanted to thank her, and fuck her, and tell her I couldn't live without her, but when I started to speak, she raised her head and whispered, "It's okay, baby. I know." But I wondered if she did.

Caroline convinced me to start taking classes at the community college in the fall. She also put her foot down about me working as a bouncer. "Someone could pull a knife on you, or hit you upside the head with a bottle," she said. "What you're making there isn't worth the risk." So while I still did odd jobs, I found work in maintenance at an apartment complex. The hours were steady, and I didn't have to deal with a bunch of damn drunks.

Later that summer, Caroline came home from work and said that one of the partners at the law firm where she worked had announced his retirement. "I'll be expected to attend his retirement party," she said with a grimace. "It's at a country club of all places." She ducked her head and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "You wouldn't want to go with me, would you?"

I was still wearing my work uniform, and I glanced down at it and laughed. "Sure I would. I'd be the proudest man on Earth, having you on my arm. But what will I talk about with those people?"

Caroline snickered. "They mostly talk about themselves. Just pretend to listen and nod every once in a while, and they'll love you."

As the date of the retirement party approached, I grew more nervous. I was afraid I'd say something inappropriate and embarrass Caroline. I didn't want to give her any reason to think we weren't compatible, but I couldn't imagine her coworkers simply overlooking our age difference.

"What are you wearing?" I asked her that Saturday night as we got ready for the party. We'd already taken a shower together, spending longer in there than we should have, and now we were running late.

"What I usually wear to work," she said. "Blouse, dress pants, flats."

"I'll wear a suit."

"You don't have to wear a suit."

"I'm wearing a damn suit," I said. "I'm not having your coworkers look down on me."

I took my only suit out of the closet, the one I'd worn to Dad's memorial service. I'd had it tailored due to my size, so it fit me well, but I was still uncomfortable in it. Once I was dressed, checking my appearance in the mirror as I ran a comb through my short hair, Caroline slipped her arms around me. "You look incredible," she murmured.

I turned to smile at her. "You won't be ashamed to be seen with me?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She cupped my chin in her hands and brought my mouth to hers. "I'll have to chase those office bitches off with a stick."

I snorted with laughter. "We'd better go, or we'll be a little more than fashionably late," I told her.

It was almost dark as we drove into town in my truck. "So," I said, shifting in the seat, "do you want me to tell people that I'm your boyfriend if they ask?"

I could feel Caroline's stare even as I kept my eyes fixed on the road. "If you're comfortable with that."

I glanced at her. "Of course I'm comfortable with it. I'm thinking about your privacy."

Caroline's hand rested on my thigh. "If I was concerned about that, I wouldn't have invited you. Do you think I'm going to drag you to this and then play coy and just call you a friend?"

"I hope not, because then the office bitches will declare open season on me." I tried to keep my face serious, but Caroline cracked up, and soon I was laughing with her.

I'd driven by the country club before, with its sprawling golf course, tennis courts, and pool, but folks like me never had a reason to set foot on the property. I pulled into the lot and parked my truck toward the back of the building, deep in the shadows.

I was sweating a little as we walked toward the entrance, and Caroline hooked her arm in mine. "I'll stay right with you," she said. "Believe me, these people are all bark and no bite. At least this isn't a sit-down dinner, just cocktails and heavy hors d'oeuvres, so we don't have to hang around too long."

Inside, we found quite a few people at the party—employees and partners at the firm, and also some prominent clients. I grabbed Caroline's hand, and she gave me a reassuring smile. A woman wearing a tight red dress and stiletto heels caught sight of us and headed in our direction. She looked to be in her mid-thirties. Her lipstick was the same shade as her dress. "Caroline, it's good to see you," she said, giving Caroline an air kiss at her left cheek, then her right. "We were beginning to think you wouldn't show." The woman turned to me and grinned. "And who is this tall drink of water?"

"Russ, this is Renee, an attorney here at the firm. Renee, this is my boyfriend Russ." Caroline's tone was dry, and it was clear to me that she wasn't buying any of Renee's chummy bullshit.

"It's nice to meet you, Russ." She held out her hand, and I gave it a brief shake, but she didn't let me go. "I can't believe Caroline's been hiding you from us."

"Nice to meet you, too," I stuttered, looking to Caroline for help.

"We're going to grab a drink from the bar," Caroline said to Renee, and I managed to extract my hand from the woman's grip. "It was nice talking to you." Caroline placed a hand on my back and steered me away from her colleague. "Renee's the worst of them," she said under her breath. "I guess it's good you met her first thing. The evening will only get better from here."

Caroline ordered a Manhattan and looked up at me. "What are you drinking, Russ?"

I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since the night I got shitfaced at Anthony's, but I figured one drink wouldn't hurt tonight. "Whiskey sour," I said.

Once we had our drinks in hand, we looked at the crowd, and Caroline pointed out several people she'd mentioned when discussing work with me at home. A middle-aged lady with a friendly face spotted us and waved her hand over her head, trying to get Caroline's attention. "Evelyn's nice, but she's a talker," Caroline said.

I didn't know if I was up for much conversation. "How about you go say hello to her, and I'll stay here?" I suggested.

Caroline nudged me with her elbow. "I thought we were going to stick together."

"I'm a big boy," I said. "I'll be fine on my own for a few minutes."

"Okay, but if I look over and a bunch of women are swarming you, a fight's liable to break out."

I grinned at her. "You know, you're cute as hell when you're jealous."

Caroline planted a kiss on my lips. "Honey, you haven't seen jealous yet." She headed over to Evelyn, and I lingered by the wall, taking furtive sips of my drink. I figured if I stayed still and quiet, people wouldn't notice me, but some guy with a tuft of white hair strode over to the bar. After he had his drink, he spotted me and closed the distance between us. "Hello there," he said. "I don't think we've met." He wore a polite smile, but I could tell it was forced. I realized he thought I'd sneaked into this party, that I didn't belong here.

"I'm Russ," I said. "I'm here with Caroline."