The Perks of Being a Podcaster Pt. 01

All of the following is complete and total fiction, not a single word of it occurred, nor would it.

The Perks of Being a Podcaster

by MrMaxLord

(MF, oral, cons, titfuck)

Chapter 1: Elizabeth Gillies

*****

"Hey there everyone, I'm Bart Curry and you are listening to Pop Culture Entropy, the world's worst podcast recorded live on stage at the Fawcett Theater!" No matter how many times I said that, it never got old. And I'd been saying it for the past six years. For the past six years, I, Bartleby Curry had been living a dream alongside my best bud, Logan Lucas. Just two nerds with a podcast that snowballed into a huge success.

"And I'm Logan, who after six damn years is still himself."

"And you're great at that second banana stuff," I joked. "And joining us tonight is a longtime friend of the show. The beautiful, the multi-talented, and eternally sarcastic, Elizabeth Gillies. Who of course is here with us to enjoy our company and not just tolerating us to promote her new show Dynasty."

"Whoa, you said the show's name, can I go now?" Liz asked in a joke, her delivery as dry as ever. "Or do I still need to "enjoy" the company of you two?"

"Oh you love us." I replied. "Or at least are fond enough of us to be acquaintances."

"Okay, I'll give you that."

"Why do I always get lumped in with him?" Logan asked.

"Oh, you're the second banana," said Liz, deadpan and straight faced. "So, we going to talk about the show or am I being all charming and shit for nothing?"

"I forgot, this is you being charming." I took a quick swig of my drink, Liz followed suit while Logan, who also produced the show and our visual bits, set up the next, well, video bit. "So I would ask you what's been up since your last show bit the dust, but I think we all know by now."

"You always are so delicate with your words, Bart."

"Hey, a show being cancelled sucks but now you're on Dynasty Liz m'dear. This could be huge if it was anything like the 80's one. Prime time cat fights, a modern day return of trash TV. No offense."

"Oh believe me, none taken. I mean, it's Dynasty. I knew what I was in for when this came to me and i for sure knew what I was in for when I read for the role."

"Really Liz? You knew exactly what you were in for every step of the way?"

"Oh, I think I know where this is going," she said with a smirk. My eyes could help but go to her legs as she uncrossed and crossed them again. Then again, Liz didn't mind. She knew me and she definitely knew the effect her body had on not just me, but on pretty much everyone.

"Well we all saw the trailer, and correct me if I'm wrong but it sure as Hell does look like someone is going down on you in that trailer. Which honestly, I didn't know you could do on normal TV but I sure as shit ain't calling the FCC."

"Well, it's Dynasty. I knew I'd be doing stuff like that. I certainly have no problem with it and I'm sure if you weren't behind a table it'd be pretty clear you have no problem with it."

"And on that note, Logan over there has a bit of video to show the audience here, and for those of you listening after this goes up for download on Tuesday, check out the YouTube channel for this hilarity that 100% percent was done sober, at least in the writing stage. So watch with awe and wonder as our wonderful guest Liz teaches myself and Logan the finer points of a cat fight. Now while we both appear in sequin gowns, only one of us appear in full on lingerie. And it's Logan because he's super bad at Rock Paper Scissor. Right after that we have another installment of our series, 'Walter Muchnik: Professional Unprofessional' then have a few more precious minutes with the even more precious Liz Gillies. Logan, roll that fine cat fight footage."

The lights went down along with a projector screen. As soon as the video started playing, Liz, myself, and Logan headed backstage.

"I'm gonna go in the back alley and smoke up, you guys want in?' asked Logan.

"Pass." I replied.

"Same here, thanks," Liz said. Logan shrugged, took out a joint and headed outside.

"Does anything change for you two?"

"I think he buys better weed now. So how was the trip up?"

"Not too shabby at all, Bart. The studio actually fronted the cash for that limo that I came in."

"And here I thought you'd gone method on me."

"Ha. If I had my choice I would have taken an Uber right from the airport. But who am I to turn down near-free luxury."

"Near free?' I asked. "I thought the studio provided it to you."

"I have to do some party thing with some execs and people from the CW affiliate. Shaking hands and kissing ass, figuratively of course for that last part."

"Of course."

"You should come with me," Liz said. I knew from the years knowing her this wasn't a request or suggestion, but what was going to happen. "I'll have the limo come get you, then you're coming to the party with me to shield me from the suits."

"Yeah, because that sounds like a grand old time."

"Bart, my dear, dear friend, allow me to repeat something you said to me last time I was on your show and we had were backstage during the video break, when was the last time you and I hung out after a show and didn't have some serious fun?" Liz added a lick of her lips to the question, sealing the deal like she would an envelope.

"Well, you got me there." I replied. "What time are we dealing with the stuffed shirts?"

"I want to get in as soon as possible," Liz said. She took out her phone and started scrolling, looking through her calendar or something along those lines. "Okay, says it starts around 8:30. I'll pick you up at 7:00 so we can go by that burrito place. I swear it's the best vegan burrito I've ever had and I'm not going to eat whatever they have at the party. Not to be picky, but if it's between a near god-like vegan burrito and looking at an absolutely god like array of hors d'oeuvres that I more than likely can't touch the burrito wins every damn time."

"I can't disagree with that. Is the studio covering the food too or do I need to dig deep into the show's funds? We're in the triple digits now, you know."

"Don't worry, I cover my bitches." Liz chuckled, the kind that gave away the joke was only a half of one. Not that I minded. Who wouldn't want to be Liz Gillie's half bitch?

Once Logan came back in, that was the cue we needed to be ready to get back on stage. For a massive stoner the man's sense of timing was impeccable. After a hearty round of applause from the audience, the rest of the show went off perfectly. Afterwards it was the usual meet and greet with fans, then it was off to my place to get ready for the sure fire boring as shit party.

It was a surprising struggle to get dressed. I was trying to walk that fine line between not giving a shit and dressing to impress Liz. This was far from the first time for us, but still, it's Liz Gillies. There's an expectation.

I settled on a simple suit, red tie barely put on. A little bit of John Constantine without the trench coat. After that it was just a waiting game. After a bit of time wasted on the ol' PS4, my doorbell rang and there was Liz, dressed to kill.

"Classy as ever," she said, the sarcasm wonderfully mixing with her natural sultriness. "I like the tie. Follow me." Following Liz Gillies was never a bad thing, especially considering her posterior.

"This is Randy, the driver."

"Sir," the driver said, tipping his hat then opening the door for us.

"Hey there," I said, entering the limo right behind Liz, door shutting the moment I was sat down. "He know where the burrito spot is?"

"Exactly where it is. I gave him explicit instructions on how to get there."

"Ten minutes and we're in burrito heaven."

"Well, not quite," Liz said, a familiar smile crossing her face. "I'd say, more like twenty or thirty minutes. Wouldn't you know it, the direction I gave him are taking us along the scenic route." Liz worked her way over to me, grabbing me by the tie and pulling me to her face. "If I remember correctly Bart, I owe you one." She licked my lips before kissing me while her free hand went to my crotch, massaging the rapidly hardening bulge.

Liz broke the kiss and stared me out as she sunk down to her knees. I watched, a hyena's grin on my face as she took out my cock. Liz was a lot of things in bed, this I knew from experience. One of them was she knew when to tease and when to act. Right now? This as an "act" kind of moment.

"God damn," I groaned the moment her lips touched my cock. A blowjob from Liz was always something to look forward to. Not a guarantee by any means, but when it happened, few things on Earth can match or surpass it. Fortunately for me, Liz had all those things.

"Enjoy yourself, but remember, we are on a time limit," she said. Liz loved eye contact, and so did I. So when those cool blue eyes locked on mine during the suck job, everything just intensified. There was not a wasted moment or movement with Liz. Everything she did simply turned up the dial on pleasure. She took me in her throat, teased me with her teeth, lovingly licked the head while her hands joined in the symphony of erotic pleasure that Liz was conducting.

For any other woman, I'd give in and start thrusting up into her mouth. However, with Liz, that wasn't an option. You did that, you'd pay for it. You'd still cum, but it'd be the last time. Logan learned that the hard way. Myself, I learned the easy way about the rules with Liz. Let her lead, and you shall be greatly rewarded.

And what a reward. It couldn't have been more than five minutes and she had me on the edge. I was so close I couldn't just do nothing with my hands, nor did Liz expect that. I reach my hands down, holding her hair back from her face, clearing the view of her face.

"You wanna cum, don't you Bart?" Liz asked, her hand almost absentmindedly playing with my cock, teasing it. The look on her face was seductive and confident, knowing I was clay in her hands. "Good news, I want that too, so how about it? Come on...shoot that load in my mouth. I could use an appetizer before dinner."

Liz didn't give me a chance to give the obvious answer of yes before returning her mouth to my cock, ready to finish me off. This was the only time Liz would accept any kind of thrusting into her mouth, she knew the man couldn't completely control himself as he was shooting. Of course, this was the case for me. I bucked my hips forward, moaning out Liz's name as I began to shoot my cum in her mouth, draining every drop I had.

When I finally had nothing left to give, I collapsed back into the seat, breathing deep, trying to come back down to Earth. My eyes went back to Liz, a smirk on her face. She looked up at me, seductively opening her mouth, revealing it was still full of my hot jizz. She played with it a little with her tongue before swallowing it all down. She then zipped my pants back up, kissed me on the cheek, and redid her lipstick, acting as if nothing had happened. This was actually fairly typical for her. The first time it surprised me, her casual attitude. Now? I found it made her even sexier.

Right when she was done with the lipstick, the limo stopped. "Dinner time," she said with a smile. "I don't know about you Bart, but I'm famished." Honestly, so was I. Something about a blowjob from Heaven makes a guy have an appetite.

After a quick and but satisfying dinner, we went to the party of doom, the both of us prepared to be completely bored out of our skulls. We pulled up to the hotel and the limo driver let us out before going to park in the garage.

We walked into the party, me on Liz's arm, her trying to use me as a shield to all the stuffed shirts who either bored her to tears by sucking up to her or just blatantly staring at her tits. It was actually worse than I thought it was. All the talk about rating and promotions and so many read between the lines invites to dinner that the guys would hope would lead at least to a handjob.

Eventually, Liz needed a breather and I couldn't blame her. Even with me as a buffer between her and these chuckleheads, it was getting to be a bit much. She excused herself to the restroom. Thankfully, without a voluptuous twenty something around me, the sharks retreated.

While Liz was taking a breather, boredom really set in on me. Yeah, it wasn't the optimum place I'd like to be, but Liz was always good company, even beyond the sex. Always good for a few laughs.

Just as I was starting to get anxious, I got a test from Liz. It was simple, to the point. She told me to come down to the garage. And of course, with an invite like that with the guarantee of fun understood, I headed down there as quick as I could.

Once there, it didn't take me too long to find Liz. A few steps out of the elevator and there she was, leaning against the limo.

"I gave the driver a hundred bucks to leave the limo until I texted him to come back," she said, her tone a unique mix of playful and matter of fact. It was something Liz had perfected. "That leads me to this question."

"And that is?" I asked, a smirk on my face as I approached.

"You ever fuck in a limo? Because I've always wanted to." We embraced and kissed, my arms pulling her close to me. I slid the straps of her dress down, exposing the perfection of Liz Gillies' tits to the open air. Not for too long though, as when ever such amazing breasts are presented to me, I just have to suck, lick and kiss them. A perfectly sensible addiction, in my summation. And from the sound of her breathing, Liz didn't mind.

"Mmm, that right Bart...l know you love those big titties." I would have gone down further on her body, not remotely caring who would have seen us. However, Liz got some private time in the limo, and damn it, she was going to use it. She pushed me back just enough to open the limousine door and the two of us scurried inside. As soon as I shut the door behind us, we were all over each other again, scrambling to take off as many clothes as necessary to fuck each other senseless.

Liz's dress was hiked up and her panties were off, thrown to the other end of the limo's back cabin. She sat on the seat, legs open, grinning as I crawled towards her, taking my place between her legs and returning the favor she gave me earlier.

"Mmmm, been thinking about this since shooting the pilot," she moaned. "Then you had to go an remind me on the show."

"What can I say, I know my way into your pants' heart."

"Honey, use your mouth for what it's better at than trying to be clever."

"Are you actually complimenting my pussy eating."

"Less talky, more eating my cunt." Who could refuse that command? With her shapely and toned leg resting on my shoulder I got to work happily. "Fuck I love a man who can take orders and eat pussy."

Instead of responding, I stayed on target, the wonderful music of Liz's moans urging me on. Though my purpose here I knew was different. I wasn't between her legs to make her cum. As much as Liz loved being eaten out, she loved being fucked more. This was all primer for her, and she'd let me know when she was ready for more.

When would that time come? This time it was right around when Liz grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to her face. She kissed me like a madwoman, sucking on my tongue, tasting her juices on me. "Stick your fucking cock in me," she demanded. "I fucking need that dick in me."

Who was I to refuse a need? Soon my pants were down and my cock was inside her. From there, it didn't take long to put the limo's shocks to work. "Fuck yes, Bart!" she growled. "This is half the reason I even go on your show!"

"What's the other half?"

"I actually kind of like you," she said. "Don't let that go to your head., 'kay?" We switched position, Liz now riding me like a cowgirl, giving me a much better view of her face in ecstasy and her tits bouncing, all while her pussy worked wonder on my cock.

"Fuck me with that big fucking cock...yeah that right...fucking take this pussy, fucking take it!" Liz began to lean back as best she could, despite fucking in the limo being incredibly exciting for some reason, it didn't leave much room for maneuverability.

Still, we got one last bit of fun out of it when Liz got on all fours, leaning on the seats. I got behind her and wasted no time in pounding her hard.

"Fuck yes!" she yelled. "Give it to me that way! FUCK!" For some reason, Liz loved it like this. Far be it from me to complain, her ass was just as round and perfect as her tits.

Her moans and dirty talk were quickly devolving into gibberish. Sexy fucking gibberish. With one last, loud desperate cry Liz came hard, collapsing forward as if all the pleasure coursing through her body drained her of all energy.

That energy however, didn't leave her mouth.

"I'm not done with you yet," Liz said. I pulled out and she turned on to her back.. "Fuck my tits...fuck these titties until you fucking cum." She winked at me as I made my way towards her glorious globes. It wasn't long before my cock was between them. Liz pressed her tits tightly against my rod and looked me dead in the eyes, the sexiest sneer/smile I've ever seen finding it's home once again on her face.

"Yeah, fuck those tits till you cum...fucking paint those tits..get it on my face too...give me what I want Bart...and I want every drop you have left..." That's exactly what she was going to get. I didn't last long between those mounds, I never did. With a loud grunt I came, covering her face and tits with my cum before falling backwards onto the floor of the limo.

"This party wasn't so bad," I joked, gulping for air. "What do you think?"

"I think your sleeping in my hotel room tonight," said with a laugh. "I need a shower and I'll be damned if you aren't the best damn scrubber for those hard to reach places. That and I kind of like waking up next to you. Don't let that go to your head."

"As long as you don't let it go to yours that I kind of like that too."

"I think that's doable." Liz gave me a smile, one of the rare ones not hinted with even a dash of sarcasm. I gave her one in kind. It occurred to me, we better be careful. We might get to like this too much.