The Pink Pony

Deanna looked at her hands as she sat at her kitchen table. Her cup of coffee remained untouched sitting towards her right. Her hands were not remarkable by any means. The fingers were a little short. The nails, which she worked hard to keep up, were the perfect length for her. At the moment, they were painted a very faint pink. On the ring finger of her left hand, she wore her engagement and wedding rings. On the ring finger of her right hand, she wore a mother's ring her children had gotten for her last year. Other than that, they were hands like any other hands. But Deanna spent a great deal of time lately studying them. She did not know why.

It was there, at the table, that her husband found her. She had been married to Tom for almost 20 years now. It seemed like yesterday that they had met. He was fresh out of college and had gotten a job at the company where she was working in the secretarial pool. It had been her first job out of high school as going to college was not a luxury either she or her parents could afford. Tom seemed older and smarter. When he asked her out, she did not hesitate when she answered yes. They had been nearly inseparable from them on. Two years later, they had been married. Two years after that, she gave birth to their first son, Daniel. Their daughter, Alyssa, had followed and two years after her had arrived Ian.

Tom moved his hands to her shoulders as he had a habit of doing and began to massage them gently. She sighed and picked up her coffee. It was lukewarm at this point but she did not care. She drank it down rather quickly and set the now empty cup back on the table while she waited for Tom to speak. It was rare these days that he sought her out unless he had something to discuss with her.

Do not think their marriage was troubled. It was quite the opposite. Deanna was very happy with Tom and Tom felt the same. The fact was after nearly 20 years of marriage, a couple gets to a point where conversation is not a privilege. It was the quiet times like these, silence shared after a hectic day, that they both treasured.

Tom was a great father and Deanna liked to think she was a good mother. How can one judge oneself on these things? Deanna didn't know. All she knew was that she had done her best. After Daniel had been born, she had quit her job to be a stay at home mom. However, once Ian was settled into first grade, Deanna had gone back to work part-time. They didn't really need the money. Deanna just thought she would go crazy sitting home all day.

"Babe, the kids would like to talk to us." Tom murmured to Deanna as he slid his hands from her shoulders and crossed the kitchen to sit in his usual place at the table across from her. At that point, almost if cued, their children walked in and took their usual seats as well. Over the years, habit had gotten the boys on one side of the table and Alyssa on the other, near her mother. Once the kids got settled, Deanna let her smile linger on each of her children for a moment as her eyes flowed over them.

Daniel was the smart one. He excelled in any thing scholastic. Alyssa was creative and very musical. Ian was athletic. It was interesting how they all broke down that way. Daniel looked most like his father, Alyssa like her mother. Ian was a mix. Tom was tall with brown hair and eyes while Deanna was petite with dark blonde hair and green eyes. The combination of genes in the children turned out quite nicely.

At this point, Alyssa cleared her throat and began to speak. "Mom, we kids have been talking and we felt we needed to bring something to your attention. You have always been a loving and supportive mother. You have been there since we were babies and still are here. But frankly, Mom, we feel you don't see us as individuals. We think you see us as 'your children' and not as three separate and distinct individuals."

If you had slapped her, Deanna could not have been more shocked. She was sure her face grew crimson as she looked at her daughter horrified. "What are you saying? Of course I see you as individuals! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

Alyssa was not about to be dissuaded that easily. "We love you, mom, but we think you have spent so much time making sure you treated us all equally that you have forgotten that we are not exactly the same. We are, each of us, individuals with our own needs, our own desires and our own thoughts. We just want to ask you if you could try to accept that and try to treat as us individuals and not as a collective whole."

Perhaps she had spent too much time trying to treat her children equally. She did not want to be one of those mothers who played favorites. She never had. Suddenly, out of the blue, she remembered when she was 12 and her parents had taken her siblings and herself to the county fair. They had stopped at the Guess Your Age or Weight booth. Deanna had been chubby at the time and looked older because of it. Her parents had told her to try and she certainly was not going to let the guy guess her weight. So she told him to guess her age. He guessed 14 so she won a prize. It was nothing special, just a plaster of Paris horse painted pink. It was flat on one side and three dimensional on the other, like it was one of a pair of bookends. She always wondered who had won the other pink horse. She had kept it for years afterwards. She thought her mother had ended up throwing it away when her parents sold the house and moved into a condo.

She thought then about what Alyssa had been saying and sighed. "I suppose I could try. I do know you are all individuals and perhaps I have gone a bit to the extreme trying to treat you equally as in not playing favorites. But you are all getting older now; you are teenagers, so it is time." She placed her hands down upon the table and looked up at her husband. "Anything else?" she asked, tension easing its way back into her shoulders.

Even though she was looking at her husband, he remained silent and it was Daniel that spoke this time. "No, mom, that's it. You know we love you and you know you love us. But we aren't children any more, like you said, so I guess we just want you to notice that."

Deanna smiled at her eldest son, "Of course I have noticed. Who has to take you clothes shopping every six months because you have outgrown everything you own?"

Alyssa giggled at this as she stood. "Speaking of which, mom, do you think we can go to the mall this weekend? I need new shoes and jeans."

Tom then scowled as he finally spoke, "Spending all my money again, Alyssa?"

Their daughter reached over to ruffle her father's hair, "Don't you know it!"

Deanna sighed softly in relief. Her life was settled but it was all good. She was one of the lucky ones, a husband, three kids, a house that was almost paid for and two cars in the garage. She knew plenty of people, her own sisters among them, who were not so lucky. Her children were growing up. Soon they would be young adults. And nothing she could do would stop that. She pushed back her chair and stood, taking her empty coffee cup to the dishwasher and placing it inside before she turned to look at her husband. "I guess our children aren't really children anymore."

He looked at her with those same brown eyes she had fallen for all those years ago. "No, babe, they aren't children. But then, neither are we." And he grinned at her as he stood. Crossing the floor, he took her into his arms and kissed her just as passionately as he had on their first date.