The Polaris Effect Ch. 07

Chapter Seven- The Value of a Good Rationalization

Gia left a message on Archer's machine that morning that she had made a doctor's appointment for the next day. Even though he was emotionally drained from the session with his therapist, he wanted to make sure that he was available for her if she needed him. He sat on the bed next to the phone and dialed her number. It was still relatively early and he wasn't surprised to hear a familiar British accent on the line.

"Halloooo." The male voice announced.

"Hey Landers, its Arch. Gia left me a message this afternoon. Is everything okay over there?"

Landers Birch, being the consummate comedian he was, launched into his favorite camp routine an octave above his normal baritone voice. "Yeeesss, darling. She is most certainly indisposed at the moment. Wouldn't you care to talk to little ole me?"

"Land, get Gia would you." Landers could tell that Archer was in one of his moods again and didn't bother to continue with the shtick. He rolled his eyes at George, covered the phone and mouthed ARCH to his partner.

"I'll get her baby, just a sec." Landers set the phone down and Archer could hear the stereo droning softly in the background. They were listening to that new aged shit again and Archer was glad he wasn't there at the moment. Of course he was grateful that at least some of the "fearsome foursome," as he referred to them, was there to keep Gia company in his absence.

Before she picked up on the kitchen extension, Archer could hear George whisper "Everything's fine Arch," in the receiver before hanging up the other handset.

"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" Gia was already starting to sound maternal.

"Tired, but good. I was at Anne's office for most of the day. We had a really good session."

A weight was lifted from Gia's chest. She knew that she couldn't help Archer anymore. She had pushed and prodded him for the last six years to find someone to confide in about his troubles, since no matter how many times he told her about them it didn't seem to relieve any of the pressure he was feeling.

"Oh Arch, that's wonderful. Did you finally tell her everything?" Gia could already tell what the answer to this question was going to be. She hadn't heard such a relaxed tone in his voice in years.

"Yeah babe, I did. She listened to me pour my heart out for hours and I told her as much as I could about when Jeremy and I were together. She said that she thinks I ought to consider trying to find him so that I can get some of these feelings out in the open."

Gia just about burst into tears. She was a romantic to the core and she held onto the hope that he and Jeremy would someday be reunited. In her heart she knew that the only thing that would ever make Archer's life complete would be for him to find Jeremy and exorcise the demons that tortured him for most of his adult life.

"Archer, I don't know what to say. I think that is the best idea I have heard in years. Are you considering taking her advice?" She held her breath and waited for his answer.

Archer's brain shifted into automatic defense mode. "I don't know G, how am I going to handle it if he really is married with a family? What am I going to do, waltz up and throw my arms around him and declare my undying love? What kind of fool would I be then?"

"Stop being such a pessimist, Arch. Didn't you say you talked to his mom after you moved to Berkeley? Maybe you could give her a call and scout the situation out first? I got the impression from everything you said that the two of you were pretty close."

"Yeah, we were close. She was the mom I never really had. Amy never worked, so she was always there when we needed her, as opposed to my mom, who was never around at all. I always felt that out of all our parents, she was our biggest supporter."

Archer reflected back on his memory of all the heart to heart's he and Amy Sandler had shared seated at their 1960's dinette set. The Formica tabletop was starting to chip away at the sides because Jeremy had a horrible habit of picking at it when he was nervous. In fact now that Archer was thinking about it, Jeremy was always picking at something, bottle labels or the blankets in bed with them. He must have been nervous all the time, Archer thought briefly.

"Maybe G, I'll think about calling her tomorrow. So what time do you want me to pick you up in the morning?" Archer was famous for avoiding subjects that were difficult.

"What do you think hon about eight-thirty, it's only the practitioner down at the free clinic." Gianna was not about to take her gay best friend into a traditional doctor's office where they would ask him if he were the father of her baby. No, the clinic was the best bet. They didn't care about that sort of thing. They were too busy and too under-funded to even notice.

"Okay, I'll be there around eight, just in case." Archer was adamant about being Gianna's "port in the storm" through this pregnancy. He needed to show her just how strong he could be, even though inside he felt like he was ready to crumble.

"K babe, I'll see you in the morning. Oh, and Arch...think seriously about what Anne said, okay?"

"I will, G. See you tomorrow." Archer replaced the phone on the cradle and headed for the kitchen to get something to eat. Anne had some sandwiches brought in at lunchtime, but he wasn't able to eat much in the state he was in. He rifled through the somewhat empty frig and then headed for the pantry. He wanted something to warm him up. The rain during the day had left him with a chill, or was that the overwhelming feeling of dread in his bones and not the weather?

He finally decided on a bowl of thick, rich clam chowder; now if that didn't remind him of the old days in Oregon he didn't know what did? He sat down at the chrome and glass kitchen table in his breakfast nook. Grabbing the latest copy Architectural Digest, he thumbed through the first few pages. He thought about his conversations with Anne today.

"What would you say to him if he were here, Archer?"

He practically screamed the words to the empty house..."HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME? You said it was forever. You said you loved me, forever."

A single tear slid silently down his cheek.

***

Archer arrived on Gianna's front porch promptly at 7:45. He knocked softly and after a moment George peaked at him from behind the shade of the leaded glass door wearing only his boxers. Arch didn't realize that because he was so wrapped up in his own problems, the "fearsome foursome" was taking turns staying with Gia. George slid the dead-bolt back and opened the door with caution. Archer stepped through it and waited for George to close the door. His friend pointed to Gianna's extra bedroom and whispered, "Lands is still asleep."

George tiptoed back into the spare room and got his bathrobe.

"I think Gia is in the shower honey, do you want me to make you some coffee?" George offered.

"No thanks, I stopped and got some on the way, it's out in the car."

"Arch, your eyes are a mess. Are you gonna be okay sweetie?" George had been the unofficial "mother hen" in the group ever since they had formed their little circle in college.

"Yeah, I'm getting better. I think that I am going to have to make some changes though in order to be a permanent member of society again." Archer thought momentarily about the eventual call he would make to his boyhood hometown later today.

He heard the creak of the old wooden door as Gianna stepped out of her bedroom fresh as a daisy. "Oh hi, you're early." She said.

Her long hair was still wet and hung combed but, loose beyond her shoulders. She walked over to the two men and kissed them both on the cheek. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready, okay?"

Archer nodded and he and George followed her into the kitchen. They sat at the breakfast bar and watched as she went to get some crackers from the pantry.

"That's what you're having for breakfast?" Archer admonished her.

She shook her head and snickered at his naïveté on the subject of pregnancy.

"It's to stay the morning sickness. I have to be about six or seven weeks along and the nausea is really kickin' my butt." She munched on a couple of the saltines as she stood over the sink.

"You look fine." Archer observed. "Your skin seems to be glowing."

"Yeah well I tell you what, you feel something moving around inside of you and we'll see how it makes you feel."

He burst out laughing and George spit orange juice all over the counter.

"What?" She was slightly offended that they were laughing at her.

Archer raised his eyebrows and said "something moving around inside of you, huh?"

She blushed and turned back to the sink "Well I didn't mean like that. Geez you guys, I swear gay or straight it doesn't matter, you all think about sex 24/7?"

Arch rolled his eyes at George as he got up to get a sponge and clean up his orange juice mess.

"What can I say honey, testosterone rules." Archer's waggled his eyebrows suggestively. As luck would have it George didn't have any more juice in his mouth, because if he had, he would have snarffed it through his nose trying to keep for busting out.

"Alright you two, enough. I'm going to dry my hair, I'll be out in a few." She half stomped back towards her room, not taking into consideration that George's better half was still asleep in her guestroom.

When he was sure she was well out of earshot, Archer asked George, "Has she been this surly all week?"

George looked back and smiled, "Yeah, isn't it great. You can just see the life oozing back into her. I never thought when that jerk James bailed on her, that she'd be back among the living so soon. This baby is going to be a good thing Arch. Landers and I didn't think so at first, but seeing Gia the last two days, I really believe she is going to be okay."

"Yeah, I think so too. Our little family may be odd, but we're there for each other and that's what counts. All for one and one for all!"

George reached down and hugged Archer tight to him. "We're all each other have, that makes us bound to each other by a love that isn't required, only deserved. That means we're special, not odd."

"Thanks sweetheart, love you too." Archer kissed George's forehead as Landers swept through the archway to the kitchen.

"Tryin' to steal my man again, are you?" He mocked at the sight of them cuddling.

"Get over here you fool." Archer stood and gathered the two of them into his monstrous embrace.

"You two are the best friends and brothers a guy could ever ask for. You never bailed on me, even though I have been a total jerk for the past couple of years. I respect and admire you both."

Landers pushed back from Archer and looked at George, "What have you been feedin' this big oaf, maple syrup?"

They all laughed at the complete180 degree turn in Archer's attitude this morning and then silently they broke apart. George moved over to Landers and snuggled into his neck.

"Mornin' lover." Archer heard George whisper to his partner.

Landers glanced up at Arch expecting to see the same uncomfortable grimace that crossed his face every time he and George displayed affection for each other. What he saw instead was a smile.

"Oy, big boy...you okay?" Landers was still taken aback by Archer's sudden personality change.

"I will be Lands, someday soon; I will be."

***

The clinic was an absolute zoo by the time they checked Gianna in and found a seat in the cluttered waiting room. Several children ran around unsupervised, while twenty or so adults sat with what were probably their families or friends bringing them to their appointments.

Archer was nervous because he wasn't prepared to answer questions about why he was here with Gia. He didn't realize that in this venue, seldom was the paternity of a child ever raised. Only when there were complications in the pregnancy did the clinic ever inquire as to the status of the father.

After what seemed like an hour, though by his watch it had only been twenty minutes, a heavy-set older woman opened the door to the inner office and called Gianna's name. Archer stood with her and she held his hand. "You don't have to go in if you are uncomfortable."

"You know me too well, girl. No, I promised I would stay with you and that's what I'm going to do." He wasn't bailing on her. This time he was going to be the strong one.

The gray-haired nurse ushered them into the hallway and held Gianna's chart in front of her. She asked Gia to step onto the scale and when Gia giggled and told Archer to turn around, he laughed at her vanity.

"Just follow me." The nurse said in a rather husky voice.

There was a chair in the corner of the room for Archer to sit in and Gia sat on the examining table. The nurse took her blood pressure and temperature and recorded the information onto the chart in her hand. She stepped to the door and told them that the nurse practitioner would be in a few moments.

"I thought you were seeing a midwife." Archer queried.

"Well a midwife will deliver the baby when it's time, but I'll see this person during my pregnancy. I wanted to make sure that the baby was safe, so I choose a well-respected practitioner. I'm lucky my parents are still paying for my insurance, otherwise I would have to go on Medicaid."

They chatted idly about the weather and the work that Archer was currently involved with. After just a few minutes there was a knock at the door and it opened slowly.

A tall well-built man came through the door. As he greeted his new patient and turned to meet the person who accompanied her, his chin hit his chest.

"Archer, I have to say, I never expected to see you in here."

Phil Crossen reached out to shake Archer's hand and Arch cringed slightly at his touch. Luckily there was a nametag on Phil's lab coat, because Archer couldn't remember his name for anything.

"Hi Phil, long time..."

Gianna's eyes searched Arch's for some recognition. What she saw was almost a blank stare.

"Ummm...Phil, this is Gianna Blanchard, my best friend."

Phil smiled at her, blanching at the silent awkwardness of the situation. He turned toward his new patient and shook her hand as well.

Gianna understood that some explanations were going to have to happen before the uneasiness that had settled in the air would be lifted and they could get on with this.

"Phil, I guess that you know Archer from the past somewhere and I suppose that from the whitewashed look on his face that you may have known each other in what shall we say "the biblical sense." Archer is my best friend and will be here through my pregnancy to help and support me, he is not however, the father of my baby." The horrified look on Archer's face was priceless. "Do you think we could get on with my appointment now?"

Phil cleared his throat and apologized.

"Sure, I'm sorry; this is really none of my business." He crossed to the set of cabinets on the opposite end of the room and withdrew a standard gown and handed it to Gia.

"I'll need you to get changed, if you want Archer can wait in the hall." She smiled at him as he left the room to give her some privacy.

She hopped down off of the table and slipped out of her shoes. When she started to unbutton her skirt, she glanced up to see if Archer looked uncomfortable.

She sort of giggled, "Not like there's anything that we haven't seen before, huh?" After spending the first year of grad school sharing a small apartment, modesty was indeed no longer necessary.

He helped her tie the strings of the much too large gown after she slipped in on and she clutched the back as she headed back over to the table. As she was ascending the examining table again, Phil knocked and pushed the door open slightly.

"Are we ready?" He asked as he came back into the room slowly.

"Sure," Gianna chuckled as he closed the door. "Ready as we'll ever be." Her nerves were showing just a bit in Archer's opinion.

"Okay, then. Gianna, I'll have you lie back here while I check your abdomen." He adjusted the table so that she wasn't flat on her back and helped her to lean back. His large hands were gliding over her stomach, appraising the slight eruption of her early pregnancy, measuring the size and feeling for anything out of the ordinary. He then put his stethoscope in place and listened to her chest and down around her belly.

"Sounds good. Let's check the rest, okay." Gianna knew that he was going to do an internal examination and she crooked her finger at Archer.

"You might want to come up here for this part." She smirked at him.

He left his seat and sidled up next to her as she lifted her left hand for him to hold. Phil got his gloves and proceeded with the exam quickly and deftly. Archer watched Gia's eyes the whole time. When he heard the snap of Phil's gloves being removed he finally looked up.

As he helped Gianna move her legs from the stirrups of the examining table, he asked "So, do you want to try and hear the heartbeat?"

Arch searched Gia's face. "Do you?"

"Oh yes," she practically squealed. Archer hadn't realized that they would even be able to hear it this soon.

Phil moved to the head of the table and grabbed a monitor of some sort and a bottle that looked to Archer like lube.

A light blue glop of gel pooled on Gianna's stomach and Phil placed the wand of the instrument on top of the gel and moved it around Gia's tummy.

Trepidation filled Gianna's eyes as she waited for the first sign of the life growing inside of her. All Archer could hear was static. And then Phil started making slower more deliberate circles, zeroing in on a small thumping sound.

Suddenly the room was filled with the reverberations of a hollow thudding sound. B... boom, B... boom. The baby's heartbeat was strong and loud. Archer looked down at his best friend to see her sobbing softly. He clutched her hand as tight as he could without hurting her and stroked her cheek.

"I guess we're gonna have a baby, huh?" She said between smiles and tears flowing down her face.

He couldn't say anything. He just nodded back and felt his chest swell with love for her and pride that she would dare to have this baby alone. Well, not really alone, she had all of them to help, but ultimately she would be the only parent and he suddenly realized that maybe the fear that Jeremy had talked about when they were nineteen, was something wholly real and very frightening for him.

Maybe presented with something as overwhelming and life changing as the future, he would be just as scared as the lover who fled from him all those years ago? He was glad that they were almost done. He was going to call Amy the first thing when he got home.

Phil cleaned Gia's tummy with a couple of tissues and told her she could sit up.

"It says here that the first day of your last period was September 15th?" Phil questioned her.

"Yes, that's right." Gia answered him.

"That would make you due on or about June 21st. He put down the wheel chart that helped him to determine her due date and picked up a prescription pad.

"Here's a prescription for your prenatal vitamins and I'll want to see you back here in four weeks, okay?"

Gia nodded her ascent and Phil shook her hand. "Congratulations Gianna." He reached across for Archer's hand and shook his as well. "You too Uncle Archer." Phil smiled and Archer happily agreed.

"Thanks Phil." Archer said as he was leaving the room. "I can trust you take care of my girl?"

Phil winked at his rather seductively and smiled. "Of course you can Arch, of course you can."

***

The drive back to Gianna's was almost silent. Archer was in a hurry to get home and call Ashland and Gia could tell that he was seriously contemplating something and kept her mouth shut.

When they reached her front door, Archer leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Do you need anything?" He asked her sincerely.