The Prank

I was fresh off my divorce and definitely in need for some companionship when I spotted her in the bar, the same one, McGilly's, that I frequented many a night when I was single. Thankfully, it hadn't gone too far downhill, and neither had the ginger that I met. She wasn't alone, mind you. There was some Indian fellow that I had never met before sitting there with her, but I wasn't sure if they were dating or not. I was definitely curious about her and couldn't help but check her out. She had auburn hair, freckles, and a plumb, buxom figure, with large breasts and buttocks.

"Hey...is she...I mean...I'm a bit rusty with this, being newly divorced, but are you dating her?" I asked the Indian fellow who had sat with her when she left for the ladies' room.

"Nah, not anymore," the man grinned at me, which I found reassuring.

"Thanks," I said as the ginger returned, at which point I noticed a wedding band on her.

"Um, excuse me, but are you married?" I asked her directly, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, why do you ask?" she frowned out of curiosity.

"Because your friend here said that he's not dating you, but he never mentioned a husband of any kind," I indicated the man next to her.

"Really?" the woman responded, blushing more than a little.

"Yes, really," I told her, as the man near her coughed and tossed back another beer.

"Well, since you're interested enough in me to get all nosy, let me be frank and admit that right now, my marriage is in a bit of trouble and looking worse by the second. Seems that my husband has a very inappropriate sense of humor and likes taking jokes far beyond the pale. Name's Heather, by the way," she told me her first name only, but I could understand that, given that we just met.

"Let me be Frank as well, since that's my name," I grinned, making her blush and laugh, while the friend was suspiciously quiet, "sorry, the marriage thing might sound like a stupid question, but some people fail to take off their wedding bands until they've been divorced for a bit. Others not so much. My ex still wears her ring, for some unknown reason."

"That's not unknown. It's really not a mystery. She doesn't consider the divorce to be permanent or real. She might be in denial, at least from how you're behaving, but no, your ex doesn't see herself as an ex at all. I can tell you that right away. Women who are really divorced in their minds will lose that fucking ring as fast as they can. A little free tip about women, since like most men, you seem a bit confused by us," Heather corrected me.

"Thanks, I'll bear that in mind about Chloe. It might at least partly explain why we're divorced, at least," I blushed a little myself now.

"Yeah, I find that men really don't get how women think, and while women can with men at times, it doesn't make sense to us. At least partly why men can't read us, which is pretty damn funny if you think about it. We think that we're sending you signals loud and clear, but you're completely oblivious to the signs," Heather said as she stared at her friend for a moment, shooting him daggers for some reason.

"Well, part of it is actually quite simple. We men say what's on our minds a lot more. We have less of a tendency to use sarcasm or passive aggression or anything like that. We just come right out and speak up about it. We make the mistake of assuming that women will, which is admittedly one of my pitfalls, because I have to stop to remind myself that a woman isn't being direct and candid with me," I confessed, making Heather laugh as she actually bought me a drink.

"Woah, that was nice of you! Thank you," I thanked Heather, who laughed even harder, even as her friend shook his head for a moment, though his meaning was unclear to me.

"See, this is an example of my meaning here. I bought you a drink. This means that I'm hitting on you. I mean, it's also a clear sign that you haven't dated in a while and perhaps you're not used to women doing this for men, but still...," Heather trailed off for a second, "wait, women have never bought you a drink before, have they?"

"Nope, I'm used to women expecting men to pay the tab or paying their own, but never paying for a man. Equality goes only so far, or at least it did," I chuckled as I put back my Glenlivet.

"I understand that kind of cynicism, and coming from a divorced man, it's quite normal, trust me. I'm a paralegal. I've seen a bit of it, to put it mildly. Freshly divorced men are especially prone to view women in a negative light, as schemers and manipulators, and sad to say, many of the women that I've met in that field have given me reason for seeing their point of view. Especially cheaters, and yet ironically, right now, that's what I want to be. If you're up to it," Heather told me, downing a fifth of Jameson in front of me.

"Have you ever cheated on your husband?" I asked Heather, who shook her head.

"Nope, not once, even with as much he's annoyed me," she admitted to me, blushing, as she took my hand and almost dragged me to the ladies' room.

The Indian guy that sat with us gave us a completely stunned look of absolute bewilderment now.

"Why here and not the men's room?" I was curious, though not in a mood to refuse her advances.

"Because here, he could get into as much trouble as you if he follows us here," Heather told me rather bluntly, even as she took out a joint and lit it, "sorry, I need this for my nerves. It's not every day that I fucking commit adultery, but I'm done being nice. He wants to play these games, let him learn the fucking price for them."

"O...kay," I made a mental note that she had the classic ginger temper, to put it mildly.

The next thing that I knew, while I tried to process hidden clues as to what Heather meant by her last words, my pants were down at my ankles and her lips were wrapped around my cock. Nor was she a slouch. Heather gave me a blowjob, still wearing her wedding band, I might add, that could melt lead easily. It felt like a fucking sauna around my dick as she practically inhaled it and licked every last spot of my circumcised prick. Her tongue ran all over me, from head to base, slathering me in a way that nearly made my knees buckle. Chloe was good at many things, but not fellatio, not like this.

"Oh...fuck me...," I let slip.

"Well, that's next, but first...," Heather grabbed my balls and caressed them just right, making me jerk and flinch, spurting a bit without warning directly into her mouth.

Far from acting offended or spitting it out, as Chloe used to do, Heather simply worked my cock to get more out and let it hit her tongue before swallowing every single drop. She winked at me, much to my utter astonishment, and then took my junk in hand to stroke it a bit and keep it from getting soft just yet. Another wink and she hiked up her denim skirt to show me her lace panties, which she slid down to her ankles in a hurry.

"Condoms?" I asked her, curious as to how far she'd take the adultery, whether or not we'd bareback it.

"Nope. It's freestyle time, babe. I've never cheated and you've just been divorced after being married how long, even if you seem as skeptical about monogamy as I am these days. It might not be perfectly safe, but if I give hubby the clap, he can thank his heavy-handed pranks for that. This one went way too far. I'm not going overboard. Just letting him experience the natural consequences of his actions. Cause and effect," Heather told me as she bent over and offered me whichever hole I wished, or so it seemed to me.

"A...guy could think that you're making an offer of both holes, you know," I pointed out.

"That's because I am. He's gotta face the music. If he gets mad for that, well, we can have it out afterward. I'd rather break up than deal with his bullshit anymore. Rajiv has got to learn this isn't funny," Heather told me as I slid my the first few inches of my thick rod into her bushy twat.

"Rajiv? Not the guy who was at the bar with you, was it?" I asked her to be sure.

"That's the one. The one who claimed that I wasn't dating him. That's because we haven't been on a date in months and he thinks that these kinds of jokes are funny. Pranks like this. Well, this will teach him! If he wants a divorce after that, it's on him, but he had to learn the consequences of such practical jokes. This one went too far. He implied that he doesn't care what I do? Okay, well, this is what I'd do if he wasn't a factor. Fuck the next hairy dude in the bar, and I do mean hairy, aren't you? I love it!" Heather confessed as she took me deeper now.

Heather pushed her back and hips, but especially her fine ass, into the act, and damn if I wasn't tempted to take the backdoor! Well, she did offer, and how often did I get the chance? Still, there wasn't any lube and I didn't know how clean she was back there. I focused on fucking her tight, wet pussy, which felt as if it hadn't been screwed in weeks. She gripped my dick like a vise with it, and she pushed back even harder until I bottomed out inside her cunt. The whole time, I stared at her freckled, tattooed ass and craved it more by the second.

Heather kept up the pressure, tantalizing me with her booty as I pumped in and out of her slick snatch with forceful strokes that seemed to impress enough to make her cream herself on about the tenth stroke or so. I lost count soon enough, and I wasn't sure that someone was about to send a searching party, when I decided that one thing would do the job and send the signal that both of us meant business while avoiding too long of an encounter. Sinking my dick into her snatch one more time, I then pulled out and eased into her asshole.

Heather gasped at first, and I thought that it might have been too rough or she might have second thoughts, but she instead relaxed her backdoor enough that she was able to take the first few inches into her tush. I stopped for a moment to let her adjust, but then she kicked things into a faster gear by pushing back hard with her hips and buns to welcome me deeper into her booty. I was a bit stunned that this ginger who I had never met, a married woman no less, would let me sodomize her, but here I was, butt-fucking her in a ladies' room of an Irish pub.

Just then, the bathroom door opened and one of the bartenders walked in, a slender slip of a girl named Tiffany with long, dark curls. She seemed sweet enough, but she was also raunchy enough to watch us for several minutes before saying a thing and going to a spare stall to piss or something. She was very quiet in there, but she stayed and didn't leave while I rammed Heather's derriere very hard now. Far from complaining, my new fuckbuddy pressed back aggressively at me with her bottom and took me deeper if possible.

Just then, Tiffany opened the door and asked us, "Hey, whatcha guys doin'?"

"Cheating on my husband. What does it look like?" Heather answered as I finally spilled my load up her tight, once cherry ass while she stood at the sink.

I looked down at turned out to be a shockingly clean cock and barely had the time to say another thing before Tiffany licked her lips, knelt, and put her mouth on it. When Heather joined her, I was really stunned. I was even more jolted when they started kissing when they weren't sucking me. Heather's ass leaked my cum onto the floor, but she didn't let that stop her yet. I was truly confused for a moment, as I began actively using their mouths for my pleasure.

"That makes two of us," Tiffany showed me her wedding band as well.

"Holy smokes, two cheating wives in one night!" I grunted, but both ladies laughed.

"Yeah, this is the place to go for married ho!" Tiffany snickered at her own comment.

"What made you want to cheat?" I asked Tiffany as she spat on my dick and bent over for more.

"Which hole, honey, and bear in mind that I've cum twice already?" I warned Tiffany, who laughed softly.

"Good, you'll last long enough to make that dickhead of a hubby get the idea that Heather here means business. Rajiv is such a jerk-off that she probably should have fucked around on him years ago. Tyler's the same way. What a pimple! I'm tired of his making excuses about starting a family, so here we go!" Tiffany told me, "knock me the fuck up!"

Now, some might have objected at this point, but this was a second cutie in one night hitting on me after a considerable dry spell courtesy of the missus. I was in angry divorced man mode and down on people, anyway, particularly morons like Chloe, Rajiv, and Tyler who didn't know how good they had it at all. If my impregnating his wife didn't make the guy fish or cut bait, nothing would. Tiffany didn't really seem that evil of a person, so she probably just felt deceived and jerked around, a feeling that I totally understood.

I found myself pumping harder than ever, glad that Tiffany had cleaned me up orally rather than risk a UTI, though ass-to-mouth had risks of its own. As for Heather, she was far from done, now spreading her cheeks to let Tiffany rim her, which she did with enthusiasm and considerable skill, making Heather cum all over again. If these women, who didn't seem the sort to do this a lot, were engaged in high-risk public sex, including ass play of some kinds, it was obvious that they meant to retaliate for something that they hated their husbands doing.

I began ruthlessly fucking Tiffany with abandon, not hesitating to use her sweet gash for all that I could give her. She bumped back at me with the same kind of eagerness and enthusiasm that she gave the oral action, even as she kept cleaning up Heather's ass with her tongue. I humped her harder than ever, driving deeper with each stroke until I bottomed out inside her as well. Her tight, sloppy cunt took me in and rubbed me every right way that it could, much to our mutual gratification.

I was able to last quite a while, but I realized after a bit that I had been fucking these ladies for an hour. My drink was presumably watered down, yet no one came in to check on me. Not wishing to have people too worried, I came as if by silent accord with Tiffany, spurting rope after rope into her twat, even as part of me hoped that she joked about being fertile as hell. She came very loudly, as did Heather, who then planted a lip lock on each of us.

"Hmmmm...my ass isn't so bad, is it?" Heather laughed as she led me out of the john, my pants back up, but her panties in the back pocket along with Tiffany's (they both insisted).

"Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. Nice drink, still. Glenlivet is still quite good, even with the ice melted," I chuckled, while Rajiv stared with a very strange look on his face.

"You...two...you actually did it, didn't you? You fucked him! You fucked her!" Rajiv exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah, honey, I did. That's what you get when you pretend that we're not a couple, doofus. You basically invited another man to fuck me, so I counted that as a hall pass, honey. What's more, she fucked him, too, and I think that she was fertile. You'll have a lot of explaining to do in nine months, I guess, if you haven't been trying, eh, Tiff?" Heather teased Tiffany, even as the latter ripped up my tab and hers.

"Your money's no good here, because I quit and I'm moving in with you! Try and stop me!" Tiffany warned me.

"Count me in, sister! I'm done with this crap! Rajiv wants to play those kinds of games and pranks, here's a nice one. I'm leaving you, buddy, and that's no jest! Got room for a second babe in your love nest?" Heather invited herself as well.

"Hey, I'm lonely and such, so I'll bite, but I think that Rajiv is pretty pissed," I noticed the look on the man's face, as things were no longer so funny.

"Fuck 'em!" Heather laughed as she tossed her wedding band at him.

"No thanks!" Tiffany answered, even we walked out and headed for another bar.

I might or might not be welcome at McGilly's anymore. I supposed that I would find out eventually, but I wanted to give it time. For now, though, it was hard to care about that when I have Heather and Tiffany doing Taco Tuesday night at home, pouring me drinks in their birthday suits and sucking face with me and each other. From the look on their eyes, they were in the mood for some after supper entertainment and I seemed to be their chosen entertainer.

Sometimes, the man who gets the cheating sluts gets the better end of the deal, after all.