The Price of Forgiveness

She took me to a level I never dreamed of. Her skills at lovemaking were the best bar none. She blew me and only let me cum until after I begged her for the third time. Her internal muscles about crushed my dick and some how she got three nuts out of me by 3:00 am.

"I don't think I'm going to let you leave," I told her with a soft laugh. "If I handcuff you to the headboard you can be my love slave forever."

She smiled this time and told me that I didn't want a girl like her but thanked me for the compliment. She was right, but I could dream couldn't I? She did say that I was above average in bed, that my dancing had improved greatly and with the goatee I looked sexy. That gave my ego a boost.

In November someone put my name in for a bachelors' auction fundraiser for a Breast Cancer. I'd raised a lot money in the past, for cancer research, so I guess that was why they picked me. I knew I was far from the best looking guy out there, but with my new look and a six-pack body I was not going to embarrass myself.

It was a black tie event so I ended up renting a tux. I was proud of all the work I'd done in the gym and wanted it fitted to show off my body. It was a sold out affair and I had a small group of friends from my work at our table. There were five bachelors and they went from youngest to oldest. Care to guess which one I was? The bids were pretty high but I had an ace in the hole. I'd given Kathy enough money to make sure I'd come out on top.

The bidding started out at $100.00 and went up from there. When Kathy bid $500.00 I figured it was all but over.

When some woman from the crowd yelled that she wanted to see what she was bidding on, I got brave or stupid, one of the two. I took off my bow tie, opened my shirt and pulled it out of my slacks and flexed my tight six-pack.

"Is this good enough?" I asked.

There was wolf whistles, clapping but best of all a lot of bidding. I took off my jacket and threw it over my shoulder as the bidding topped $2800.00. A bid of $3,000.00 ended it. As I took my bow knowing I'd beaten my nearest rival by $500.00. I went back to my table and got myself together.

"Well Kathy I guess you own me. If we leave now I can give you your money's worth by the time the sun comes up," I told her with a little smile.

"Sorry to disappoint you Dan, I didn't win you. I maxed out at $2,800.00. I don't have a clue who had the final bid."

"Dan, I had the final bid," a voice from behind said. "So you're mine until the sun comes up," she told me.

As I turned around my mood went from good to bad instantly. "Crap," I said under my breath. "Hello Ann, how have you been?" I said with a forced smile.

"Not bad, how about you?" she asked.

"Just tell me it wasn't you," I now asked.

"Yes it was. You're my date for the rest of the evening." She told me.

"Ann if you want, I'll give you back your $3,000.00 and we'll call it square," I told her.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Well if you're ready, why don't we leave this place so I can make use of my winnings. By the way, let's take your car, I came with a group and they've probably left by now. It was nice meeting you all," she said as she started to walk away.

Three strides and I had caught up with her.

"Why Ann?" I asked.

"Would you believe for charity?"

"Not for a minute," I told her.

"How about if I told you it was the only way you'd probably talk to me?"

"That would be about right," I told her.

I debated not holding the car door open for her, or crushing a leg or two when she tried to get in but decided to be nice for the next twelve hours. We were heading through the down town area when I asked where she wanted to go.

"Surprise me," was all she said.

We ended up at an after hour club I liked, and had taken more than a few dates over the last six months. I picked a booth just off the dance floor and ordered a bottle of wine I really liked.

"Well Ann, how's your husband and kids?" I asked.

"Right for the jugular, I see nothing has changed," she replied. "Our kids are fine and no husband."

"You kill him or did he just book? I'm betting he kind of rode off into the sunset on his cute red corvette," I said sarcastically.

"I caught him cheating and I got the car in the settlement," she told me. "You want to drive it?"

"Into a brick wall maybe," I replied.

"You know your kids miss you. They don't understand why you cut them off after the divorce. All they were trying to do is to be nice to him for my sake. They weren't taking sides intentionally."

"When they picked him over me, they were dead to me then and now. As I said, they're your kids not mine."

"Well if you're interested you have two grandkids, and they all told me to tell you that they still loved you," she said piling it on.

"So, how long have you known about the auction? Hell, I didn't know about it until two weeks ago," I told her.

"I heard about it from another friend on the fund raiser community. When I saw your name on the list I knew I had to come. You really cost me a lot of money you know, but it was worth it to see the look on your face. I see you got rid of your love handles. Nice touch opening your shirt probably cost me an extra grand. Who was the girl at the table? Your girl friend?"

"Do you care? You dumped me remember? When anyone asked me what happened to my wife, I always told them she traded me in for a newer model with a full head of hair. Did he have a bigger cock? Did he fuck you in the ass like I use to. Was he as good as I was at oral sex? Hell, he probably had you swapping partners after a year or two," I said a little too loudly.

Thank God our drinks arrived. "I'll need more than a little alcohol to get through the rest of this night," I said to myself as I poured us both a glass of wine. "To days gone by," I said and drinking down the glass and pouring another.

"Yes, no, no and hell no," she replied. "Yes Tim had a bigger cock as you call it, but he didn't know how to use it. It took me three years to teach him but by then he was gone. I guess some other bitch got the benefit of my teachings," she told me.

"I understand you've become quite the ladies man from what I'm told. A couple of your old friends have seen you more than once out with a lady or two, but never the same one twice. Still hurting?"

"Not for you anymore. Hell, you were good; I never even saw it coming. How long were you fucking Tim before I found out? Two months, three?"

"Closer to six," Ann replied.

"You really are a piece of work. How many sloppy seconds did I have? And I don't even want to know about any cream pies," I told her.

"You never asked why? You fought me for a damn year but you never asked why? How come Dan? Didn't you even care?"

"At that point not really. You dropped the bombshell, after I caught the two of you that you'd found someone else and were leaving me. Wait a minute; you weren't leaving me, that's right you were kicking me out of my own house. Did I even care at that point? Not really, I just wanted you to fucking die!"

"You hated me that much Dan?" she asked.

"Not hated Ann, hate. I still would like you to suffer and die an excruciating death for what you put me through. Everything we worked for, for twenty-five years was gone in an instant. Think about it Ann, our home, family, friends all gone and for what, a bigger cock? Ann you make me sick. So pardon me if I don't tell you that I've had a change of heart and I forgive you, because I don't and never will."

"Well Dan, you're going to get your wish. You see the reason I knew about the auction is because I'm a volunteer for the fundraiser group. Stopping breast cancer is kind of my own personal pet project since I've got it. They tell me I've got a little under a year," Ann said sipping her wine.

"There is a God," I said to myself as I poured my next glass and ordered another bottle. "So what do you want me to say? That I'm so sorry and that I now forgive you or what can I do to make your last days easier? If you're looking for absolution find a priest because you won't get it from me."

"Boy you really are bitter. Is it just for me or are you a pain in the ass with everyone else?" she asked.

"You and every other woman out there who thinks she's better than everyone else," I said downing another glass in my anger. "I gave you and the kids my all, a 100% and what do I have to show for it? Squat. To all your family and our dear friends I was the asshole husband. Did you ever tell anyone that you were the one fucking around on me?" I asked, as Ann nodded no.

"I thought so. You never told me that you were unhappy or were looking for a replacement but I figured it out after a couple of months. Stupid me, I thought I was imagining it. There was no way my Ann would be cheating on me I kept telling myself. When the kissing, hugs and sex about stopped I finally had my answer. Whose bright idea was it for me to catch you in the act?"

"I knew nothing about Tim's little plan," Ann said now with a tear in her eye. "At that point I was just screwing around because the sex was too good to pass up. I didn't want to leave you and be with him but I guess he had other plans. You weren't supposed to be home."

"Ann, someone called me at work and told me my wife was cheating on me at our house at this very minute. Hell I broke every law on the books to get home and prove to myself it was a damn lie. I knew when I saw both of your cars in the driveway it was true but I guess I had to actually see it. I came in went upstairs and the rest, how they say, is history. You're damn lucky I didn't shoot you both where you lay. That asshole just looked at me with that stupid grin on his face and I then knew who'd called."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Ann said now teary eyed. "I was at the point of ending it because he wanted to do it in our house all the time now and I knew we'd eventually get caught."

"You're not a stupid woman Ann," I told her. "He was showing the world that he could fuck my wife in my own bed and there was nothing I could do about it. Ann, what did you think I'd do if I caught you? Tell you it was ok, because it was just sex? You were my fucking world. You crush my spirit and me in the process. From that point on you were dead in my eyes. I was going to hurt you anyway I could and I guess in the process I killed a lot of who I was back then. I fought for every dime I could get. I wasn't going to make it easy on you especially when you moved that prick into the house," I told her finishing our second bottle.

"I understand what you're saying, but I didn't have a choice back then. Bills needed to be paid and you refused to give me any money until we went through the court. Tim was the one who brought it up saying that between the two of us we would be all right. So he just moved in."

"And right into my bed. I'm sorry, that's not quite right. He was already in your bed, it hadn't been mine in a long time," I spat at her. "He claimed his prize but I knew it was only a matter of time before he showed his true colors, and I guess he did," I told Ann.

"I was wrong, you were right, are you happy? I never really wanted to marry him, but for the sake of the kids I did. If its any consolation Tim was never the husband you were. It was always about him and the kids saw it long before I ever did," she told me.

"Be still my heart," I said sarcastically. "And when he started cheating on you, how did it make you feel? Stupid? Ann did you ever have any regrets? Even if you did though it was way too late for us."

"All right I was wrong. I was stupid. I got a little bored and tried to spice up my life with a smooth talking con artist. I'm not the first woman and won't be the last," she told me. "I'm just trying to tell you I'm sorry. I never started out to wreck so many lives but succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. Your kids still need you and will more so after I'm gone," she told me.

"Ann, I don't care about you or your kids. I was at the point of asking for a DNA test to see if they were really mine."

"They're your kids, how can you even say such a thing?" Ann said in an angry tone.

"How do I know that? You could have been cheating on me throughout our entire marriage. They could be the spawn of one of your other lovers, how would I know?" I replied.

"I never had any other lovers but you up until that point. Thankfully I only made one mistake that I will take with me to the grave."

"So what do you want? Why are you here Ann? Forgiveness? Not going to happen, not in my lifetime. You made your bed and now you can die in it I guess," I told her.

"But Dan..." is all I let her get out of her mouth.

"Let me finish. If we were still married, I'd be the doubting husband walking around in a daze trying to make your last days the best for all of us. But now, you're just another round-heeled slut who got caught and realized too late what she lost. Do I feel bad? Yeah I probably do, but not for you, but for your kids. When you die they will be left with no one. They killed me off with their actions and now you'll be gone. You out did yourself this time, I hope you're happy."

I'd said my peace; at least most of what I'd wanted to do for a very long time. For once I felt pretty good and it wasn't from the three bottles I'd already consumed. Ann looked like a broken women. She was now just a shell of the woman I'd fallen in love with and had twenty plus good years with.

I drove her home and even walked her to the door. She said good night and even gave me a kiss on the cheek I accepted.

"Can we talk again?" she asked.

"In person no, but you have my e-mail address," I told her. "I don't know if I'll answer, but you can write me anyway," I told her. And she did once a week.

When I got promoted to VP no one was surprised. I'd paid my dues and was the only logical choice. I still had an active love life but was still missing what everyone else seemed to have.

I didn't use the agency any more, there was no need, but I still saw Rhonda. It wasn't a client / John relationship, more one of mutual caring. We went to my work functions, dinner, dancing and even a cruise. She wanted to go dutch, but I paid for everything. After all I'd asked her. When we went to bed it was no longer just sex. We made love. We had an emotional bond, at least in bed and although it was always fantastic, we never tried to out do one another; we just did what came natural.

For the fifth time I asked Rhonda to marry me.

"Dan, don't you remember what I told you the first time you asked me? You don't want a girl like me. You want a woman without my type of past next to you. What would you do if we meet someone I've slept with? How would you feel," she asked.

"Lucky. I could just tell him that he had a taste of heaven but I now have it twenty-four hours a day. I take it to bed with me at night and I wake up every morning with it by my side," I said kissing her for the umpteenth time. This time though she said she'd think about it as she pulled me to her.

Ann still wrote me every week telling me what was going on in her life. She'd stopped chemo and was just going to let it run its course. Some times I answered her e-mails but most of the time I didn't, but she still kept sending them anyway.

Rhonda and I were having a late Sunday breakfast. I was going through Saturday's mail when I saw something from the Cancer Foundation.

"They want to auction me off again this year," I told a surprised Rhonda. "I've got to let them know in the next two weeks," I said casually throwing it on the table as I opened the rest of my mail and grabbed another cup of coffee. "What do you want to do today?" I asked.

"How about we take a drive out to the lake and have a picnic. We can just pick up a few things at the store on our way out and make a day of it," she said looking at me. And that's just what we did.

The weather was a little cool but hardly cold. We took my car and drove with the top down and the radio blasting as we made our way to the beach. We had a quick bite to eat and headed back, this time with the top up. When we got to my place I turned on the gas fireplace, got us each a glass of wine and settled in on the couch.

"Yes," she said licking the rim of her glass looking at the fire.

I said nothing as the flames almost put me in a hypnotic state as they danced around the logs.

"Didn't you hear what I said," she asked now looking at me. "I said yes! Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Does this mean I can't be auctioned off?" I said with a laugh pulling her close and kissing her as we both started to laugh.

"Why the sudden change of heart," I asked.

"Dan, you've never judged or tried to change me. You love me for who I am not what I look like or my money."

"You have money?" I said as she pushed me back on the couch almost spilling my wine.

"I can't have kids and I'm getting too old for this line of work. I will never be a Susie homemaker type of wife, but I can promise you I'll never cheat on you. I've had every size and shape of cock over the years, and yours suites me just fine."

We made love that night and I called in the following morning because I didn't want this feeling to end, ever.

Tuesday we started to make wedding plans. Rhonda had never been married and I guess everyone expected that she'd never get hitched. We limited the guest list to only close friends and family.

I informed my boss and told him I'd need about two weeks off. Keith told me that if he were marrying Rhonda he'd probably need a month off to recover.

"Not getting enough at home?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? If I were getting any more, I'd have to quit work because there wouldn't be enough hours in the day. And by the way, I'll never be able to thank you enough for the advise," Keith told me.

"If you ever want to take it to the next level, try a little soft porn. You know, the romantic ones women like, not the stuff where she's tied to the bed and five guys have there way with her," I told him. "That is, unless your into sharing."

"No way, no how. She's mine and I'm completely satisfied with what I've got."

We got married in a gazebo in the middle of a rose garden. We made up our own vows and a friend of ours, who is a notary, did the honor of marrying us. I'd never been happier in my entire life.

We took a windjammer cruise and made love on the deck, under the stars, every night. When we got back, I went out and got her name and the date of our wedding tattooed on my right shoulder.

"Why did you do that?" Rhonda asked me when she finally noticed it two days later in the shower.

"Because I want everyone in the world to know the day you made my life complete. That I love you more than anything else and I'm in it forever. This tattoo isn't going away, and neither am I."

Rhonda surprised me with a tiny one two weeks later. She told me it was somewhere on her body and I'd have to find it. I did find it and it was still a little tender so I kissed it to make it feel better. That started something we didn't finish until the next morning.

I worked, Rhonda played and our life was better than I could have ever imagined. Ann still sent me e-mails every week and just before Thanksgiving they stopped. A week later I saw the notice in the paper that she had died.

Rhonda was the one that made me go to the wake.

"Just go and put closure to that part of your life," she told me. "Then come back and I'll do my best to cheer you up," she said opening up her robe.

It was pretty big crowed and I knew about a third of the people there. Her family, old ex-friends and her kids were all standing around talking. I almost didn't go in when I saw the mob, but I took a deep breath and told my legs to move. All the assholes that had made my life hell for all those years, the sanctimonious pricks that took great pleasure in telling me how well Ann was doing without me all those years were in attendance.