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"I believe he is far too gone for such a thing. He seems much older then twelve seasons, wouldn't you agree?"
Zestia nods."Yes, it seems that way. If you are worried about him...we are not too far from the city. And our debt to him as yet to be repaid for freeing you." Illia sighed and nodded in agrement, a small smile on her face.
"I think it might be worth sticking around for a bit..."
- - -
The guards had doubled their patrols on the street, and every corner had been plastered with wanted posters sporting the face of young Atlas. Which he only barely had time to notice as he sprinted along some wooden scaffolding, several arrows whizzing through the air past him. "Stop him!" demanded the commander on horse back, attempting to rally every troop in the city against him.
The sound of the horses hooves following behind was constant and quite discouraging. He dashed up a wall and hauling himself up to the roof-top. The Prince sprinted along a rope with ease, reaching a home closer to the edge of the city and still dodging arrows. Atlas lept a gap between houses as smoothly as a large jungle-cat and continued sprinting towards freedom...though he had no idea what to do once he was OVER the city walls, he would figure it out.
He'd sent Kale ahead already and found himself hoping that the man was waiting with mounts for his arrival. Approaching closer to the city wall he lept from one roof, then again and the large gap to the stairs with ease. Taking them two at a time up to the wall he found himself surrounded by guards, plate armor and steel swords gleaming in the moonlight. They would show him no quarter it seemed.
"Atlas!" called a voice from the otherside of the wall. He glanced in that direction and down at a pair of mounts...the Amazon had come to repay the favor it seemed. "Jump if you wish to live!" He turned and without hesitating, did so. A chorus of harsh twangs from the guards bow-strings echoed through the night and he felt the hot bite of an arrow in his shoulder blade, then another as it grazed his side.
"Gah!" he grunted, landing in the horses saddle. He grasped the reins and spurred the freighened animal forward, away from the city. With a loud yell he tore the arrow from his flesh and tossed the shaft to the ground. His hot blood rushed down his back, and chest. It stained his tunic with that sickening sticky feeling that only blood has. The beat of their mounts hooves, and the pained grunts of Atlas were the only sounds that could be heard moments before he nearly toppled from his saddled. The combination of fatigue and blood-loss had caused him to slip into unconsciousness...
- COMMENTS
xhristianjover 1 year agoSeriously it would be more appropos to call this guy The Prince of IDIOTS. He tells some random guy I'm kidnapping an Amazon and I'll be fleeing the City straight afterwards? Like are you serious how dumb can you get and then after he leaves all the GOLD he goes after the fucking stupid CORWN even though all his people were KILLED?
I mean come on this is just fucking STUPID
Anonymousabout 11 years agoIm basically repeating what others said: your grammar is very poor and it feels very similar to Alladin. Get an editor and this story could become great.
Oh yeah, what was with that end? Hes all cocky and arrogant and it ends with him being shot and fainting like a loser. Was rather surprised with how that went, maybe you need to plan where you're going with this character. I mean hes called the prince of theives and sits on the kings throne like some don but ends up eating his words and getting saved by a girl.
Anonymousover 11 years agostory OK but your English is dire. horrible sentences, incorrect apostrophes and proof reading errors.
Anonymousover 11 years agoYour text is interesting but really needs to be edited or at least double checked with a good dictionnary in hand. There are lots of missing words and orthograph mistakes. The syntax is also often inadequate.
