The Rating Game Disaster

The next day I called Dr. Winston, a physiatrist that I found on line. He had a cancellation for the day after that. I took off work for one of the few times in the last two years and went to see him. After hearing my story and about my life since my divorce -- including my total lack of any sex whatsoever -- he had no hesitation about prescribing a further course of action.

"There is no way that I can help you Mr. Holland. You need to see a sex therapist. My strong recommendation is Dr. Susan Jenkins. She is both a psychologist and licensed sex therapist and if anyone can help you she can. I'll call her for you right now -- when are you free to see her?" Dr. Winston asked.

"As soon as she has an opening; I've gotten up the courage to do it, and I don't want to delay and find a reason to back out," I replied.

By Friday of that week I was in to see Susan, as Dr. Jenkins insisted that I call her. She was a distinguished looking woman with deep, penetrating blue eyes, light brown hair, and a sleek figure and fashionable clothing. She wore granny glasses, which made her look classy rather than old; I would estimate her age at fifty. She had a written report from Dr. Winston and got right into "talk therapy." Despite my apprehension when I went in, she put me at ease in the first ten minutes.

She told me that the particulars of my situation were unique -- which didn't surprise me. Despite the uniqueness of my situation she had a complete plan of action by the end of my second session. "I know that this will work, Justin," she said with a big smile. She got up from her chair, walked over to the couch that I was sitting on, grabbed my hands with hers and pulled me up, and gave me a hug. When she broke her hug she stared into my eyes and said "I guarantee that within six months all of your issues will be behind you. Next session will be two hours long and will include time with Nadine, a certified sex surrogate."

"Sex surrogate?" I inquired. "What's that?"

"A hands-on sex therapist. I'm a talk therapist; I have to have an arms length relationship with you. Nadine needs to intimately touch you. Working together we'll get the job done," Susan said with a smile.

"Uh, sorry to be so crude or bold," I stammered, "but is Nadine a prostitute?"

"No, there is no similarity between a prostitute and a sex surrogate. Among the many differences: surrogacy is directed toward medical solutions not 'getting off;' prostitution is oriented toward repeat business whereas sexual surrogacy is limited to a predetermined number of sessions; and prostitution has no licensing requirements and is illegal in most places whereas sexual surrogates are licensed and legal," Susan replied with a smile.

"Uh -- sorry to ask a dumb question," I responded.

"It wasn't a dumb question. Many others have the same question. I'm glad you asked it. Perhaps to anticipate another question you might have, you need to be checked for STDs by our next session and we will provide you Nadine's health certificate," Susan continued. She reached into her desk and pulled out a printed sheet with the names of three testing labs on it, one of which was only three blocks from my office. "Any one of these three will do the job; just hand them this sheet, which has my information on it -- they are used to dealing with me -- and they'll email the results to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"I do need to inform you that the treatment is expensive though, and health insurance doesn't pay for it, but it is what I strongly recommend."

"Money is not a problem for me at the present time," I grinned; "I just want to be cured."

Susan hugged me one more time and whispered "You're going to do great, Justin; I assure you."

I got tested the next day. I tried to put my next session out of my mind, but whenever I wasn't working I was thinking about it. I lowered my blood pressure the best that I could when I reported to Susan's office a week after my tests.

"So good to see you, Justin," Susan greeted me. "No problem with your STD test results, so let me introduce you to Nadine and then we'll go over procedures."

I remained standing as Susan pushed a button on her phone and a pleasant looking, but not beautiful, woman likely in her early thirties walked in from an adjacent room. She appeared to be wearing only a robe and slippers.

"Justin, this is Nadine -- Nadine, Justin," Susan said.

Nadine had a warm smile and a tender, yet almost electric, touch as she grasped one of my hands between hers. "It's very nice to meet you, Justin," she said -- and from her demeanor I was sure that she meant it.

Despite the fact that I had seen many women better looking than Nadine she had an aura about her that made her unique; certainly more attractive than her appearance would otherwise indicate. As Susan talked I found myself looking more at Nadine -- either directly or out of the corner of my eye -- than listening. I was sorry that I hadn't taken in everything that Susan said when I heard "So Nadine why don't you take Justin to your room now and come back in about an hour."

Nadine held my hand and led me to the adjoining room. It had a bed, cushions on the floor, low lighting, and soft music playing. Erotic images also flashed on one of the walls, changing every few seconds. "Please remove your shoes and socks, Justin," she said with a smile. Once I did we sat on the cushions on the floor, cross-legged, facing each other, both of my hands in hers.

We talked just about things in general for a while. She smiled or laughed most of the time we talked. It was effortless to feel at ease with her. She so seamlessly transitioned into the beginning of therapy that I wasn't nervous -- that is until I noticed that she was completely naked.

"Justin, the first thing that we're going to do is to go over my sensitive sexual components. It's really just a biology lesson only with a live subject. Let's both stand up and I'll direct your hands.

When we stood up I got a good view of her body. She was what most men would think slightly overweight. Her breasts were good sized with little sag and with puffy nipples. Her crotch area was shaved and clearly defined by muscular thighs. She was about four inches shorter than I was.

Talking to me softly, and without any judgment or any real instruction, she moved my right hand, then my left hand, into contact with the bulk of each of her tits, then the fingers of each hand into contact with her nipples. The tactile sensation was fabulous. "Now lightly pinch my nipples," she coached. "That makes me feel very good, Justin." After about a minute delay where she had a joyful look on her face she said "Now bring your tongue into contact with one of my nipples -- go ahead, don't be shy."

I did as instructed, and rolled my tongue over one nipple, then the other. "That feels fabulous, Justin -- can you tell that your action is turning me on?"

"Uh, I guess so," I mumbled trying to keep my tongue in contact with one of her delicious nipples so that speech was difficult.

"Let me show you," she then said, as she took one of my hands and brought it briefly into contact with her pussy. "See how wet I am," she gurgled, then removed my hand. "Your tongue on my nipple sends a signal directly to my vagina -- can you tell that?"

"Yes," was all that I could get out.

"Now please suck on one of my nipples -- not hard, but make sure that your tongue teases my nipple when you do...That's it...Yum...Now the other nipple...Yes, that feels so good."

I have to say that I really enjoyed sucking her puffy nipples. I had never seen puffy nipples live before and they were exquisite; so soft and pliable.

"While you continue to suck I have to perform a test, Justin...Now don't stop while I do that, OK -- just nod your head," she said after taking a deep breath and giving me a big smile.

I nodded my head "Yes;" the next thing I knew her hand was on my cock, with my pants still on and still zipped up.

"Can you tell that you have no physiological problem, Justin," she said as she squeezed and released my cock. "You're very hard," she grinned. I kept sucking.

Some time later she gently pushed me away and then said "Now it's time for show and tell. Are you comfortable, Justin?"

"Yes," I more gasped than said.

She went and sat on the bed, near the headboard. The mattress was extra firm. She spread her legs and said "Come and kneel here, Justin -- between my legs so that you can get a good look."

I did as I was told.

Nadine then proceeded to stroke her outer labia, and then pull one away from the other, then both apart; expose her inner labia; expose her clitoris; and insert a finger into her snatch. All the while she was talking about what she was doing, how everything she did made her feel, what the right amount of force was to get the optimum reaction from her -- more things than I had ever thought of before. When she started stimulating her clit her breathing got shallow and her eyes fluttered.

"See, Justin -- this has a profound effect on me; on any woman. If I continue doing this I will orgasm. Do you want to see me orgasm?" she asked.

"Yes...please," I grunted.

After a short time manipulating her clit Nadine spasmed, closed her eyes, and let out a small shriek. I was entranced, never having seen a woman masturbate before. When she opened her eyes she smiled broadly and said "Could you tell that that felt so good, Justin; could you tell that?"

"For sure," I mumbled.

"Would you like to be the one to make me feel that good, Justin?" she asked with a serious face.

"Uh, well, uh...Yes, I would," I finally blurted out.

"We'll go over that next session, then?" she grinned. Then she squeezed my cock once through my pants again and remarked "I'm very glad to see that you're still hard; that's very good. Now I'll get dressed and take you to see Susan again."

Nadine slowly put her robe back on -- her only article of clothing -- while I carefully watched her, completely spellbound. She led me by the hand back into Susan's office. I couldn't believe it when I looked at the clock -- an entire hour had gone by although it felt like just a few minutes.

"Did you make some progress?" Susan asked Nadine.

"Yes, a significant amount," Nadine replied. "I think that we should give Justin some written information to review and we'll progress next week."

"Sounds good," Susan replied.

"See you next week," Nadine said with a smile while squeezing my hands. Then she left the room.

"Do you share Nadine's view of significant progress?" Susan asked me.

"I can tell you that she got me very excited, and it is impossible to believe that I won't make progress with her," I replied with a smile.

Susan and I went over some more general things. Then she handed me a brochure that she and Nadine had co-authored telling me what to expect in the future including the number of sessions, how to look at sex, and analyzing various sexual techniques and scenarios. I thanked her and when I left my two hour session I realized that it had had a surprisingly draining effect on me.

I had a lot to think about until next week's appointment. It was hard to get Nadine out of my mind. Her approach was just so sensual and erotic, yet pragmatic. One thing was for sure -- I was looking forward to next week's appointment.

The next week Nadine immediately stripped when we got into her room. We had a review of the first week, then she instructed me on oral and finger techniques. Nadine also informed me that a G-spot is not just a myth, but that about half of women have a bundle of nerves which a rough patch in the roof of their vagina if in the prone position.

As I happily tested various techniques that Nadine instructed me in one thought kept creeping into my mind, "Maybe one of the reasons that Ginger had such a low opinion of my sexual prowess was because I rarely went down on her, because I didn't think that she enjoyed it all that much, and because I didn't either." With Nadine it was an entirely different situation. Her talking me through things -- as well as her natural reaction to what I was doing, which reaction was impossible to hide -- made it very enjoyable for me.

In the second session I worked on, with my fingers, tongue and lips, every part off Nadine's pussy, finding out just how wild rubbing a G-spot can make a woman. While she made sure that I knew that every woman was different she instructed me on what techniques had the highest probability of making sex enjoyable for my partner, and what things to avoid. She also gave me keys to when a woman was actually orgasming, and what indicated a fake orgasm.

Again my time with Nadine flew by, and after another talk session with Susan immediately after the hands-on one with Nadine I was again exhausted.

The third session with Nadine provided the breakthrough that I was looking for. Immediately after she disrobed she said "Justin, I need to undress you now. While I do you should touch me gently wherever you feel comfortable."

I immediately placed both hands on her nipples; she smiled. While she uttered soothing sounds and words Nadine soon had me completely naked. My cock was sticking straight out. Nadine softly rubbed my cock and stroked my balls while I continued to play with her tits.

"Since you don't have a problem with an erection we can move to the next step," Nadine said, gently stroking my cock. "Let's go over to the bed. Are you familiar with 'doggy' position?"

"Uh, sure...I've heard of it, but I...uh, well..." I stammered.

"There's no need to be nervous Justin. If you haven't done it before then I'll see to it that you do it right -- no bad habits," Nadine said with a big grin.

Nadine got on her hands and knees on the bed then turned to me and said "First rub your finger up and down my slit to make sure that it's moist...That's...groan... it! Now tease my clit a little...Uh,..whew...yes, like that. Now slowly insert your penis pushing slightly upwardly with your hips while you hold onto my hips...Uh, Yes, Yes, that's right; now vary your speed but keep moving your hips fowardddd...Oh, shit...and once in a whileeee...Oh,...slightly upwardly. Now keep goinggg...ugh,...Yes...until you climax."

I did exactly as she asked. Her pleasant tone and her inviting body made it easy for me. I really thought that I would be apprehensive but my arousal overwhelmed my apprehension. Periodically I thought of Ginger, which was a downer, but I would quickly snap out of it when I realized that this woman was much more appreciative and "into it" than Ginger had ever been.

The entire time that I stroked her, Nadine offered words of encouragement and told me to relax -- which I surprisingly did. Finally she said "Uh, Justin...do you feel my vagina tensing..."

"Yesss..." I mumbled.

"That means...uh, oh...that I'm about to cum; increase your pace...fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" Nadine moaned.

I don't know if the "fuck mes" were part of her therapy, but they sure worked. I pumped hard only five or six times when I knew for sure that she was orgasming by how her pussy clamped onto my cock, and I instantly blew my load. It was almost as if I had stored all of the cum my gonadotropes produced the last two years. I don't think that I ever felt better in my life as I spewed blast after blast into Nadine's willing pussy.

For the first time in my life I was certain that my sex partner came; there was no faking that climax. I felt awesome, but drained, and collapsed onto Nadine's back. She hadn't done anything except groan and whimper while I was ejaculating into her, but now she started regaining her composure. She very quietly said, as she turned her head slightly toward me, "Justin, to maximize our pleasures stay in me until you go soft, and stroke my rear end and breasts with your hands."

I did as instructed, normally having one hand on a puffy nipple and the other squeezing or stroking her ass. At one point I inadvertently stopped a stroke with one finger touching her pucker hole. She flinched.

"Did I do something wrong?" I inquired with real concern.

"Absolutely not. I flinched as a natural reaction to you touching my anus. For me, and for quite a few women, touching the anus is very pleasurable so if you see no problem with it, do it," Nadine replied.

I was out to learn to please a woman so I started stroking Nadine's anus, and at one point even put a lubricated finger in it up to the first knuckle. From Nadine's vocalization it was clear that she enjoyed it.

When I finally went soft Nadine sensed it and said "Pull out now, Justin, and then cuddle me."

Of course I did as told. As we lay in each other's arms Nadine continued. "Cuddling is very important for women. Almost all women really enjoy it especially after a very successful mating experience -- like ours was."

When she made her last comment by reflex I got a big smile on my face and felt a rush of hormones. "WOW -- a sex surrogate got turned on by me," I bragged to myself.

When we returned to Susan's office I saw that our session had last eighty minutes. This time Nadine sat down with me on Susan's couch and held my hand.

Nadine described the session to Susan and both were genuinely pleased. Susan asked us both numerous questions, then suggested two more sessions between Nadine and I instead of the three that had previously been planned. I was disappointed because I knew that Nadine would never let me fuck her except as part of my therapy, but accepted it.

The next two sessions with Nadine were earth-moving. My self-confidence grew by leaps and bounds over a total of about three hours in her loving arms, or exquisite pussy. She did what a surrogate was supposed to do -- she probably was the most successful at accomplishing her goals than any other person I had ever "worked" with my entire life.

Nadine left me with Susan at the conclusion of my last session with her -- during which I came twice within 70 minutes, an all time first for me. Susan pronounced me "almost cured."

"I feel great, Susan -- why are you qualifying my success?"

"Right now you are euphoric. But in the next few weeks you'll long for Nadine, and you'll question your confidence with other women. You need to establish a relationship soon -- one with an experienced partner that will make her best efforts to satisfy you, and teach you other things -- and things that Nadine was ethically precluded from teaching you. Then you will have one last hurdle," Susan said stoically.

"One last hurdle?" I asked.

"We'll set an appointment four months from now and I'll talk with you about it then. In the meantime, do you have prospects for the type of partner I'm talking about?" she asked.

"I really don't; there are a few women at work and at the health club who expressed interest in me at one time or another, but they are younger and I didn't respond to them at all before so it's likely that they've written me off as gay. I haven't had any meaningful social life in the last two years; I may not be able to do what you say," I dejectedly replied.

Susan thought for a minute. "Justin, I may get in trouble if this comes out and people misinterpret what I'm doing, but I do have a suggestion for you. It will require some expenditure of money on your part, though. Do you want to hear it, or are you not interested?"

I thought for a second; so far Susan had been the consummate professional, and had done a fantastic job for me. I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. "Is she a prostitute?"

"No; an acquaintance of mine in a bad situation."

"I'm all ears," I said.

"Her name is Brittany. She is forty eight years old. She is just coming out of a bankruptcy and a divorce. I'm not at liberty to go into all of the details, but she needs a place to live; she is going to have to move out of town to live with her elderly parents if she doesn't find a good situation soon. The only jobs that she can get are menial ones because of the way that her ex-husband and ex-boss -- who she would not put out for -- have trashed her reputation."