The Reality Engine Ch. 05

"You're probably right," Kloe said, as she reciprocated Scott's kiss. "He was my first and only boyfriend, and we grew up together in a tiny, one horse town by the Canadian border. We didn't have many options but each other, because our High School was small and our social circles growing up were limited. Now, he's at a major university, and he knows he's hot shit. He wants to break up, but our hometown is tiny, and everyone knows everyone else. He wants me to end it so that he can show his face again back home."

"Makes sense to me," Tammy said. "So what are you going to do?"

"It seems like it's going to end inevitably," Kloe said, as she held out her hands and Tammy poured some shampoo in it, and she washed her hair. "So it's probably better it happens sooner rather than later. Still, it's hard to let go of that first love. All I can say is that unlike some other girls I know, I hope my next boyfriend, should I ever get one, will have a butt sniffing fetish. I want to know he loves me."

"Tell you what, as soon as you're single, let me know," Scott said. "I'll ask you out, you can turn me down, and that will make you feel better."

Tammy and Kloe both laughed, Scott's kindness and self-deprecating sense of humor were appreciated by them both. Soon enough, the shower was over, and the three new friends toweled off. Scott wanted to go back to his room and check for email from Dr. Karlov, and Tammy told Scott she'd text him when it was time to go and get lunch.

The rest of his morning was spent in reading through the documents that Dr. Karlov routinely emailed him. He went to lunch with Tammy, Pepper, and Padme at 12:30, and then returned to his room to work some more. 5:30 PM came, and he got a text from Steve telling him to meet for dinner in half an hour.

Scott approached the Limberger Lily dinning commons at a few minutes to 6 PM, and saw Steve, Bridget, and Henry already present. As soon as everyone had gotten food and sat down to eat, Bridget demanded the discussion turn to the topic of Calvin, and ideas to help her brother.

"Here goes nothing," Scott said. "I think I can fix your brother's situation for a cost of about $500."

"That's not possible," Bridget said. "If a cure was that cheap, it would be used by everyone, right?"

"Keep in mind," Henry reminded Bridget. "Scott said his solution was unorthodox, but he didn't say it was expensive."

"True," Bridget said. "Okay, you have my attention, what's the plan?"

"The work you're going to have to do to set this up right probably outweighs the monetary cost," Scott said. "Tell me, did you graduate from a large High School?"

"Yeah, Senior class was about 800 students, so?" Bridget asked.

"I assume most of them are enrolled in community college back home?" Scott asked.

"Yeah," Bridget replied.

"You are going to have to find a girl from your graduating class that meets a strict set of criteria," Scott said. "First of all, she must be attending the local JC in your hometown. Second, she must be above average looking, but she's can't be gorgeous. Third, it can't be someone you were good friends with in High School. If you hung out with her a time or three, or you called her once every so often, or you said hi as you passed in the locker room, that's fine, but she can't be someone you knew well. Fourth, she must be having financial problems, or, she must be willing to do odd jobs for money."

Bridget and Henry exchanged a look.

"Why are we suddenly talking about the girls we graduated from High School with?" Henry asked.

"Don't look at me," Steve said. "I have no fucking clue where he's going with this."

"That is a pretty strict set of criteria," Bridget remarked.

"I think you should hear him out," Steve said. "None of the rest of us are smart enough to work for Dr. Karlov."

"True," Bridget said. "Okay, my dear, let's say I can dig up this girl, how does that help my brother?"

"I think you've been trying to solve your brother's mess with the wrong approach," Scott said. "You've tried to solve it from the education/job/money angle. With my cousin, it was never the money, if it was, he would have found a job. It was women, his romantic failures bled into other aspects of his life, and took away all of his motivation. That's what you have to solve. Once you find this girl, and it can be someone you went to High School with, or someone your older sister went to High School with, and it really makes no difference, you make her the following offer: go out on 3 dates with my brother, and I'll pay you $100 a date."

"So, we fork over $300 so that a girl can have 3 nights that will give her nightmares for the rest of her life?" Bridget asked.

"What about the other $200?" Henry asked.

"You tell her," Scott said. "That if she completes all 3 dates, she'll get paid an extra $100 bonus. The final $100 is spending money for the 3 dates."

"You can't get anything, let alone 3 dates, for $100 these days," Henry said.

"You can get cheap dates," Scott replied. "A fast food dinner and a movie works, and lots of other good date ideas are in that price range. For this technique to work, you might have to fork over more than $100 a night, because it's going to take time. Each date should be about 5 hours long."

"Nope, no way," Bridget said. "Some girl might be willing to tolerate my loser brother if she was being paid a $100 an hour to do it, but no girl is going to sign up at $20 an hour."

"That's a lot more than minimum wage, though, and I know a lot of people back home who we graduated with who are struggling for money," Henry pointed out. "I think we can find someone who fits what Scott is looking for who would do it for that much cash."

"There are other considerations," Scott said. "All 3 dates must be some combination of spending time in your brother's room, and also going out. I think the first date should have 3 hours at home, and 2 hours going out; the second date should have 2 hours at home, and 3 hours going out; and the third date should have 1 hour at home, and 4 hours going out."

"The instant any girl sees the state my brother keeps his basement room in, she'll nope the fuck out," Bridget said.

"If it is romantic frustration that's destroying his life," Scott said. "Your brother will clean his room."

"He hasn't cleaned his fucking room since he was 8 years old," Bridget said.

"He's never had to do it to impress a lady before," Scott said. "That has a way of galvanizing a man to action."

"I think there's something to this plan," Steve said. "I know I clean my room at home regularly, but if I ever had a lady coming over, you can bet I'd make sure every single centimeter was spic and span."

"Okay, I can see that, but this plan won't work, Scott," Bridget said. "My brother has never been out on date in his life, and he'll see right through this whole plan."

"Sure he will," Scott said. "It won't matter."

"Huh?" Bridget asked.

"He'll know you set this up, and he'll also know that there's every reason to think you're paying the girl," Scott said. "It won't matter, he'll clean up his act, and put his best foot forward. Men instinctively live to impress women. He'll know he's going on a date, you bought him some time with this girl, and he'll do everything he can to impress her. That's how you give him drive and determination. That's how you cure his lazy nature."

"I don't buy that," Bridget said.

"Scott's right," Henry said. "Remember when you and I got together? I pulled out all the stops, and did everything I could to impress you. That's what guys do naturally."

"The only other requirement is that, by the end of each date, the girl has to kiss your brother," Scott said. "Lip to lip or anything romantic is not required, a quick peck on the cheek will suffice."

"What difference does that make?" Bridget asked.

"It will spur him to do better the next time," Scott said. "Yeah, you're paying the girl, and yeah, it's her job to act pleasant and to encourage your brother, but if he doesn't get rewarded at the end of each night, then a lot of the motivation to do better next time goes away. He knows it's artificial, he knows you paid for it, but the stimuli is the key thing, and the chemical reactions in his mind that will make him a better man are still 100% real."

"This seems fishy to me," Bridget said. "I can't believe helping my brother would be this easy. If it's this simple, why isn't everyone using your solution?"

"I vote we try it," Henry said. "Calvin is like a brother to me, since he's your brother. I'll put up the $500 out of my own pocket."

"See what I mean?" Scott asked, as his mind drifted back to paying for all the food at the poker game that morning. "Men love to impress women, it's so basic a part of us, that we can't ever turn it off, and if we don't get to impress girls, our life loses a lot of meaning."

"What do you think, Steve?" Bridget asked.

"I think it's worth a try," Steve said. "He's your brother, and you should try to save him. The cost of this plan is low, and if there's a snowball's chance in hell it could work, you have to try."

"Okay," Bridget said. "One more thing, what if my brother becomes obsessed with this girl we find for him, and he can't let her go after the 3 dates?"

"That's why she has to be good-looking, but not super, duper pretty," Scott said. "He'll like her, and he'll appreciate the time he has with her, but when it's time to let go, he'll be able to do it."

"Besides, Calvin's not that type of guy," Henry said. "He's not a stalker, and he's not one to intrude his presence when it's not wanted. You know that, it will be fine."

"Yeah, okay," Bridget said. "I think we should give Scott's plan a try. I'll call my parents tonight, and get started setting it up. I know a few girls who fit the template that Scott thinks we need to go for. If my folks approve the idea, then I'll make some calls, and try to put this together as quickly as possible. Can I ask one other thing, Scott?"

"Sure," Scott said.

"Can I depend on you to help guide me in this?" Bridget asked. "Whoever I pick for this job, I want her to get your approval before she's hired."

"I would be honored to help in any way I can," Scott said. "Call me anytime you need assistance, day or night."

"Okay," Bridget said. "I'm still not sure about this plan, and because I'm not really convinced, I'm going to need help to sell this to mom and dad and to my sister. I don't see how getting him a date, that we pay for, and that he knows we paid for, does anything to help him."

"I only vaguely get it myself, but I do think the idea has merit and I'm convinced it's worth a try," Henry said.

"I understand it a bit better, and I suspect it's because Scott and I have lives that are the most similar to Calvin's, and that we both could have easily ended up like your brother, Bridget," Steve said. "The key issue with a guy like him is addressing the motivation, I agree with Scott on that. Fix the motivation, and everything else fixes itself. You've tried money, jobs, social status, education, everything. Maybe it's fundamentally a romantic issue? Maybe he doesn't apply himself because he doesn't see how anyone could ever love him, and because he's convinced he's a useless, unlovable drain on society who's not worthy of respect or a single, simple human kindness, he's determined to escape reality by any means possible. Video games don't accomplish anything, but they do dull out the pain, and that's better than any other option he has."

"Wow," Bridget said. "Uh, Steve, that's pretty, ummm, you know, extremely specific."

"It almost happened to me," Steve said. "I speak from experience. If it hadn't been for my dad being there for me when I needed him, it probably would be me. Hearing Scott talk about ways to help Calvin, you're in good hands, Bridget. Scott speaks from experience, I can tell you that."

"That's all I needed to hear," Bridget said, as she took Steve's hands in her own. "Fuck it if I don't understand a damn thing about how this plan works, as long as you two super-smart boys think it's good, and as long as you two get it, I'll leave the thinking and the strategizing to you. Let's do this, let's save my idiot brother!"

End of chapter 5.