The Reality Engine Ch. 10

"I need a favor," Shauna said. "There's a charity benefit auction being held at our High School gym tonight, and my parents were supposed to take me, but they had to bail. Can you take me?"

"Sure, what time should I pick you up?" Calvin asked.

"Can you come by my place around 7?" Shauna asked. "It's not a formal thing, but still, be sure to wear something nice."

"Why would I have to dress?" Calvin asked. "I'm just going to pick you up and drop you off, right? When it's over, you can call me, and I'll pick you up and take you home."

"Oh, so you don't want to be seen in public with me, is that it?" Shauna asked, laughing.

"More like I'm sure you don't want to be seen in public with me," Calvin said. "No one else I know wants other people to know that they know me if it can be avoided."

"Don't be silly, you're such a great guy," Shauna said. "I look forward to the time we spend together. Pick me up at 7, and don't forget, wear something nice."

As soon as Calvin hung up the phone, the look on his face told the entire tale: he was smitten with Shauna, and he was terrified about it.

"She seems nice," Hayden said.

"Yeah, she is," Calvin replied.

"Do you have a picture of her I could see?" Hayden asked.

"Sure," Calvin said, as he unlocked his cell phone and showed his friend his cell phone background: it was a picture of himself and Shauna from Friday night.

"Wow, pretty girl," Hayden said.

"Yeah, who sees nothing in me but dollar signs and free rides," Calvin said. "She's way too good for me, and it's obvious. 18 years old, and with an absolute banging body. There's no way in fuck a loser like me deserves her. I'm useful to her, so she tolerates me."

"You sure about that?" Hayden asked. "She seems to be going out of her way to be around you."

"What do you mean?" Calvin asked. "She got paid for the date, and you heard her on the phone just now, her parents bailed, and she needs a lift, otherwise, she would have gone with her parents tonight. I'm just convenient and available."

"What do you say about putting your theory to the test?" Hayden asked.

"What theory is that?" Calvin asked.

"When you're with her tonight, why don't you ask her out on a date?" Hayden suggested.

"I've got two more dates left to go with her," Calvin pointed out. "That's all that was agreed to, and I don't have the money to buy more."

"No, I mean, why don't you ask her out on a date somewhere for tomorrow night?" Hayden asked.

"Huh?" Calvin asked, not getting what his friend was asking of him.

"It's not illegal is it?" Hayden asked. "You said she gets paid for two more dates, right? This coming Friday night and a week from Friday night."

"Sure, three Friday nights in a row, at $100 apiece, and if she completes all 3, she gets paid a $100 bonus," Calvin said.

"So, there's nothing preventing you two from going out on a date tomorrow night as well, is there?" Hayden asked.

"Only that she'd never agree to that, since she's not getting paid a $100 for it," Calvin said, pointing out what he thought was obvious.

"She would agree to it, if she liked you," Hayden said.

Calvin unlocked his cell phone, and showed his friend the picture of Shauna again, "look at her," Calvin said. "How the fuck does a girl that pretty want to go out on a date with me unless she's being paid for it?"

"Do you think her parents had to actually bail on her tonight?" Hayden asked.

"Why would she lie?" Calvin asked.

"To construct a plausible situation to spend more time with you," Hayden replied. "Early relationships are awkward. There's so much two people don't know about each other, and the prospect for rejection is sky-high. What if she's asking you to the auction In Loco Parentis, as the expression is, because it's a safe excuse to spend more time with you?"

"Why in the world would she need an excuse to spend more time with me?" Calvin asked, bewildered. "She's the one who's drop-dead beautiful, and I'm the one who's a loser who lives in his parent's basement. I'm the one who should be looking for excuses to spend more time with her."

"Well, why aren't you?" Hayden asked, but they both knew the answer to that question. They both knew it was because Calvin was convinced Shauna wouldn't stick around after the 3 dates were up, so he was trying to put distance between them to prevent himself from getting hurt.

"Look, I can't ask her out on a date for tomorrow night," Calvin said. "She'll get scared off by that, and think I'm falling in love with her, she'll say no, she'll call my sister and tell Bridget what an ass I've made of myself, and Bridget will hate me for the rest of my life."

"Then don't ask her out on a date for tomorrow night," Hayden said. "Why don't you take a page from her playbook? Cook up a little white lie. Her charity auction play is going to be tough to top, but I'm here for you. If we put our heads together, I'm sure we can think of something plausible sounding, that can allow you to dip your toe in the water of asking her out on a date, while, at the same time, being easy to pull back from if she says no, so you don't get in trouble with your sister."

"As Bridget would say at this juncture, what in the Sam Hill are you talking about?" Calvin asked. Calvin knew exactly what his friend was talking about, and Hayden understood that his friend was feigning ignorance because he was terrified.

"Look, mate, what do you want to do?" Hayden asked. "Do you want this girl, or do you want to let a chance slip through your fingers?"

"I want the girl, if I thought there was a chance in hell I could get her," Calvin said.

"That's not for you to decide, it's for her to decide," Hayden pointed out. "Don't do anything to make that decision for her. Remember before I left for the army? Remember that night you asked me to help you find a gun so that you could end your life?"

"Sure I do," Calvin said. "If I fuck this up, I'm going to need that gun."

"I won't get it for you, if you don't try to save yourself first," Hayden said. "Now, how about it? Do you want to help me cook up a plausible scheme to get you a sort-of date with Shauna for Monday night, or don't you? What have you got to lose?"

"Nothing, okay I'm in," Calvin said.

7 PM came and Calvin pulled up in his car at Shauna's house right on the minute. He knocked on her front door. She opened it, smiled at him, and welcomed him inside.

"We have a few minutes before we have to go," Shauna said. "You remember my folks, right?"

Her mother and father came up to Calvin and said hi, he shook each of their hands in turn. They were smiling, and talking to him in animated tones of voice. He could never recall getting that from his own family. These people seemed happy to know him, and also happy that he was around their daughter. He was left wondering: had Shauna lied to them about him? He was totally useless, and a drain on society. Why didn't Shauna and her parents understand that when everyone else in his life did?

He recalled church that morning, and he remembered how uncomfortable he felt when Shauna's parents had asked him questions and seemed happy to talk to him.

"Thanks for helping us out by taking Shauna to the auction tonight," Mr. Lomb said. "We'd like to go ourselves, but I'm afraid I developed a bit of a cough this afternoon, and we had to pull out."

Calvin looked Mr. Lomb over, and he seemed in perfect health.

"Yes, dear, we do appreciate you helping us out," Mrs. Lomb said. Shauna's mother was in her mid 40s, with 3 children, but she was still beautiful and a grade-A MILF.

"No problem, happy to do it," Calvin said.

"Alright dear, you know the rules, right?" Mr. Lomb asked.

"Yeah," Shauna said. "Have fun, no drinking, and call if I'm going to be home later than 10. Got it, see you guys soon!"

Shauna hugged her parents, and she and Calvin left her house, got into his car, and he drove to their old High School for the auction. He was silent the first few minutes of the drive.

"Problem?" Shauna asked, as they pulled up to a red light, and Calvin stopped.

"No," Calvin said.

"You're usually more talkative," Shauna said.

"Just confused, I guess," Calvin said. "It's no big deal."

"Confused about what?" Shauna asked.

"Your parents know who I am, right?" Calvin asked.

"Sure they do," Shauna asked, not understanding why Calvin would ask that question. "Calvin Longfellow, older brother of Bridget Longfellow, graduated from Edgar Jonesy High School, the same school I went to, 7 years ago. We've got all that info straight."

"Your parents treat me like I'm someone else," Calvin said. "They're really nice to me, and you're really nice to me."

"Well, sure, we're God-fearing Christian folk, and we treat everyone how we would want to be treated ourselves," Shauna said, shrugging her shoulders. "How did you expect to be treated?"

"You know what? Never mind, it's not important," Calvin said. "I just hope your dad gets better soon."

"It's not serious, and he could probably take me tonight, if he had to," Shauna said, smiling. "However, there was no reason to risk it, with you here to help us out. I'm glad I can depend on you."

This was why Hayden had found Calvin crying into a glass of scotch at the Pottsylvanian Creeper just a few hours before. Calvin was comfortable being treated like garbage. He'd been treated like garbage his whole life, and beyond Hayden, there wasn't really anyone he felt he could talk to. Even his beloved baby sister, who was the only family he felt he still had, treated him as an abject failure whom she was embarrassed to know. Bridget was just a tad nicer about it than the rest of his family and friends were, and that touch of decency, that willingness to at least talk to him once every so often, was all the compassion and human contact he had known for years.

He was not comfortable being treated nicely. He didn't know what to say in response to it. If her parents had scowled at him as he walked in the door, and if her parents had openly asked why Shauna was going anywhere with a loser like him, that would have been familiar and comfortable. Calvin knew how to deal with that. He didn't know how to deal with people who were okay with letting him take their daughter out to an auction when they could have easily made the trip themselves.

He remembered a single moment, from his initial date with Shauna on Friday night, that stood out to him. It was when he and Shauna were eating dinner with his parents. He had made some joke about her shoes. He couldn't even remember the punchline to it anymore. His parents had sat, stone faced, as he had told the joke. No reaction, not even polite laughter. Shauna had smiled at him, laughed, and told him he was funny. For the first time in years, he didn't know what to say in response. He knew exactly how to deal with his parent's reaction though, that was the reaction he had always received since he had been a small child. The entire world had always been disappointed in him. The entire world had always wanted him to know he never measured up. He knew what a colossal fuck-up he was, and every time anyone in his life could, they made sure to mention it, so that he would never forget. He could handle that, it was normal.

Calvin didn't like being treated nicely. It made him feel like he was stealing something, like he was deceiving Shauna and her folks somehow. Every time they were nice to him, he felt a pang of pain, right in his stomach. This wasn't right, he knew it, and he wished they weren't so nice to him.

Finally, they arrived at Edgar Jonesy High School. He had only returned here twice since he had graduated, once for the graduation ceremony of each of his two sisters. He parked his car, and as they walked towards the gym, she reached out her hand and took hold of his.

"Hey, there's a business writing workshop at the library tomorrow night that I'm going to," Calvin said. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Sure," Shauna said. "Why do you want to learn business writing?"

"Well, I can't do much, but one thing I am good at is working on computers," Calvin said. "That's how I make the little bit of money I have to put gas in my car, be able to eat out once in a while, and that sort of thing. Lots of guys I play games with online are clueless about fixing their gaming systems when they break, or don't know how to set up an optimal one. I help them, for a small fee, of course. I never really took it all that seriously, but this might be something I can do as a full-time job, you know? I figure if I want to do that, business writing might be a good thing to learn."

"How long have you thought about doing this?" Shauna asked.

Calvin was shocked, that was not the answer he expected. If he had told the exact same idea to his parents or his sisters, they would have told him to be serious, find a real job, and stop wasting his life.

"Years now," Calvin said. "I've been fixing computers, and setting up gaming systems since I was 15."

"I think it's a good idea," Shauna said. "You're really smart, Calvin, and I think you can succeed at anything you put your mind to. That game you showed me on Friday night that you programmed yourself? You should finish it. I'm certain people would want to play it."

Calvin looked down at his feet, and he didn't know what to say. No one had ever encouraged him at anything before. He had plenty of people to tell him no, and to tell him why he shouldn't try, that was the reaction he was used to.

He was only sure of one thing: Shauna was way too good for him. Calvin didn't like the way he felt when he was with her. She made him feel happy and hopeful, and Calvin's life had taught him very clearly that being happy only leads to disappointment. They might date, for a little while, and enjoy each other, but soon enough, another man, with more money and better looks, would simply take Shauna from him. Getting invested in her, falling in love with her, would only lead to heartbreak.

It was past 9 PM, and at Buckley Manor, Dr. Karlov was finishing his dinner, as he ate with his good friend, Lady Ambrosia Buckley. As he ate, naturally, the front-page news item of the day came up: what happened to Scott on Friday night. Eric had informed Dr. Karlov of his suspicion that they had a mole, so Dr. Karlov was more guarded in his conversation with Lady Buckley than he would otherwise be. Dr. Karlov trusted her, but he knew to be careful with expressing his suspicions until they could figure out where the leak was.

"There is one thing about it I do not understand, why don't we just tell Scott everything?" Lady Buckley asked. "You know my views, it is cruel to keep him in the dark about such an important part of his own life."

"Let me ask you this, how do you think Scott would react if you told him the truth right this second?" Dr. Karlov asked.

"Scott is a decent person," Lady Buckley replied. "He would feel pressure, and he would feel he had to do everything he could to use this power he's been granted for the good of everyone."

"Precisely," Dr. Karlov replied. "You met him just a few nights ago. Do you believe he is ready to bear that burden?"

"Perhaps," Lady Buckley said. "I do not know him well enough to be certain."

"He was successful in averting tragedy on Friday night because he took five friends with him," Dr. Karlov replied. "If he knew he had this power, and he knew it might put his friends in danger, can you see him being the type who would go it alone because he was unwilling to put others in harm's way?"

"Yes," Lady Buckley said. "So, what can we do to help him?"

"We are not qualified to help him," Dr. Karlov said. "We've never had the kind of power he has. The only thing qualified to teach him what he needs to know is the reality engine itself. It is a piece of technology, and we know, from the few notes we have on it, that it comes with fully integrated training and documentation. The engineers who built the core didn't expect the user to figure it out all by themselves."

"So, you believe it is better to say nothing, and trust to the ability of invisible engineers of whom you know nothing?" Lady Buckley asked.

"I know how it sounds, but we do know one thing about them: whoever they were, they were extremely gifted engineers," Dr. Karlov replied. "Scientists and engineers trust the decisions of others like us. I put myself in their place, and I know that I would have put in place safety protocols and training methods, and I know, from the few written notes we have on the core, that those engineers felt this way too."

"I still think it's best to tell him the truth," Lady Buckley said.

"If anything like what happened on Friday night happens again, I will," Dr. Karlov said. "Everyone involved, except for the gunman, is safe and sound. The first time someone Scott cares for is harmed by this experiment, that is when I will tell him the whole truth."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Lady Buckley asked.

"No," Dr. Karlov said. "However, as much as I owe it to Scott to tell him everything, I also trust the engineers who built the core. I trust that they knew what they were doing, and I trust that they can teach Scott what he needs to know far better than I can. I will keep my faith until they show me that my trust in them is misplaced."

End of chapter 10.