The Reluctant Mistress Guide

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How to become the woman he dreams of.
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The Reluctant Mistress Guide

Tips for getting what you (and your partner) want

Be confident – There's nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she wants. Erase your insecurities. Revel in your sexuality. Make sure he knows that you're in love with who you are.

Tell him what you want – Your most powerful tool is your mouth. Tell him what you want him to do to please you – and do it daily. Don't wait until you're in the bedroom. Whisper it in his ear as he leaves home. Tuck a note in his pants pocket. Call him at work. Send him an e-mail or a text message.

Use nudity as a tool -- Keep your man naked as much as possible. It heightens his sexuality and keeps him exposed. Get rid of bathrobes and pajamas. Insist that he remain naked as he get ready for work. Forbid him from wearing anything – boxers or briefs – to bed. When it comes to your body, tell him he needs your permission to see you completely naked.

Keep him smooth – Require your man to shave his cock and balls daily. If you like his behind, make him shave that, too. And make sure you inspect his work. Hairlessness makes him more vulnerable. It's also better for those occasional blowjobs.

Touch, but don't let him touch – Outside the bedroom, follow a hands-on, hands-off policy. Touch him frequently – a pat on the behind, a face-to-face grope of his package, a playful twist of his nipples. When he tries to reciprocate, give him the evil eye and require him to ask permission.

Ladies first – Train your man to be a gentleman. Insist that your pleasure always comes first. And if he breaks the rule, make sure there are consequences.

Make him watch – Men love to see women touching themselves. So make it a regular part of your foreplay.

Hands off – Make sure he knows that touching himself without your permission is forbidden. When he asks nicely, reward him.

Get his tongue to work – It's all about your pleasure. So train him to be an undercover artist. Many women prefer to lie on their back with their man's head buried in their sex. Others like to take a licking while standing – either from the front or behind. And of course, there's the ultimate – straddling his face. Try them all.

With this ring – Cock rings (rubber, metal or leather) are a powerful tool. They are symbols of love and lust. And they can make big things happen. Some women require their mates to wear them at all times. Other slide them on before lovemaking to make him rock hard. Add a leash and you've got an obedient pet for the night.

Keeping him in line – When your man misbehaves – and he will – make sure to remind him who is in charge. Here are a few tied, er, tried and true methods:

o Grab him by the balls – They're not as delicate as he would have you believe. A firm grasp and a jerk won't hurt him badly, but it will get his attention.
o Slap his cock – Use your hand or a ruler to swat the head of his cock. It's a guaranteed attention-getter.
o Twist or pinch his nipples – Most men have sensitive nipples. A firm twist or a pinch will have him sitting up straight.
o Bind his hands – Tie or cuff his hands behind his back.
o Put him on a short leash – Attach a leash to his cock ring. Or buy a collar to rein him in.
o Stop the action – Give him a short time out. Tell him you won't resume play until he's flaccid.

Make him confess – Knowledge is power. So get inside his head when it comes to sex. As you stroke his cock, make him tell you what turns him on. Demand details and descriptions. You may soon find your other hand between your legs. And when your session is over, use the new information to taunt and excite him for the next time.

In the end – The area between the scrotum and the anus can be a pleasure playground. Some men don't like you to go there, but others will beg for it. Start out slow and watch for his reaction. Fingernails are especially nice touches. If you're game, slip a finger in this ass. It's guaranteed to get his attention.

Getting into the act – Role play is a fun way to explore new bounds to your relationship. And the possibilities are unlimited – teacher/student, prison matron/inmate, Cleopatra/slave, policewoman/burglar, etc.

Getting busy – All this foreplay will usually lead to sex. Remind him of the rules, ladies first. (See consequences below) And then chose the position that you like best. You don't have to be "on top," to be on top of the action. Tell him how you want it, slow or fast, soft or hard.

Consequences – When you mate loses control before you're ready, there must be consequences. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

o Sentence him to a week without orgasm
o Require him to masturbate in your presence on the morning of your next date
o Spank his bare behind
o Make his lick up his mess

Sign of the times – Dominating your mate can be a way of life or an occasional treat (for you and him). The choice is yours. Whatever you decide, you can keep him on his toes with prearranged signals that tonight is the night. Invent a code word or phrase – for example, "Ms. Smith is coming over tonight." Lay out a pair of red boxers or briefs. Send him suggestive e-mails or text messages during the day. Slip a note in his lunchbox with pre-event requirements – for example, "Don't come home with your undies on if you know what's good for you."

Above all, do what you like. After all, you are in charge.

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AnonymousAnonymous19 days ago

If you know that your man wants to be dominated (or is not sure), you need to have him communicate how he wants you to dress, what kinds of domination that he wants, how he wants you to give him your commands, etc.. Have him tell what treatments that he doesn't want like wearing a hood, then a blindfold would be sufficient, If you come right out and ask him face-to-face, he usually will not tell you. The best way is to tie his arms and legs on the bed like an 'X'. Put a real good gag on him so that his screams won't alarm anyone. Use a warmed wet cloth on his scrotum to relax it. Open your middle and ring fingers apart, and grab both balls and pull out from his body. Place a shoelace below your hand with middle of the lace directly under the middle of the lace (laying on the bed). take the other end of the lace under the lace across your wrist, shoving the tip under the lace laying on your wrist, then come around and put it through again. Keep hold of the lace you just put through, put the other lace between your teeth, and pull both ends of the laces real tight. Then do that again, place a fingernail on the wrapped laces closest to balls, and pull the pull the skin of the scrotum all the way around. Attach regular wooden clothes pins (about) 10. Walk out of the room, tell him you will be back in 15 minutes. When you return, make him beg you to rip off the clothes pins. Tell him if he doesn't beg, you will leave for another 15 minutes. When he concedes, grab one of the clothes pins by one of the two clothes and rip it off. Keep proceeding until they are all off. Now remove the gag.

Tell him that you want details of how he wants your hair, makeup, and clothing to look. Does he want you to wear gloves (what material and how long), boots (how tall and type of heel, or high heeled shoes (color and height of heels, self holding nearly black stocking with or without the back seam. Remember, his vision of you is CRITICAL. Lastly, does he want your commands to be harsh or soft, etc..

Now if he comes out and starts himming/hawing with basic shit like he wants you to strip, and he vaguely states what he wants you to look like, STOP RIGHT THERE. Explain that you asked for details, and he gave you nothing. Put the gag back on. Tell him the clothes pins go back on for another 15 minutes and hopefully he will tell you exactly what you need to know. Again, rip off the clothes pins, and remove the shoelaces. Tell him if he doesn't reveal the details you want, you will apply a Heat Rub to his balls (pick highest menthol percentage , don't use any with camphor). Before you apply it, put on the gag again. If he fights you so you can't put on the gag, cover his balls with the rub, Put pieces of Duct Tape over his mouth. Walk off again, but don't tell him that you are coming back in 5 minutes. He will likely be sobbing (it IS painful). Get a box of Scott Towels (blue color) at the auto parts store along with a bucket of cold water and Dawn dish soap to remove all of the hot gel. Make sure he understands that he needs to follow his Mistress's instructions from now on. Depending on what YOU want to do, let him know he may not get all that he wants.

The first time you punish him, his adrenaline will be so high, you can gradually beat him full of welts before he realizes what's been done. Emphasize that he needs to please you by receiving the punishment to prove his devotion to you Say it on every session.

If he mentioned pegging his, before you do this, give him 2-3 enemas each 2-quarts of warm water, each containing 3 teaspoons of kosher salt thoroughly mixed. Put some drops on the inside of your wrist. if too hot, add some cold water. If you can afford a double bulb type, get it to avoid accidents. You can also use it for punishment enemas. Once cleaned out, use a cheap dildo, apply plenty of lube, and insert it to find out how deep he can take it. That way, you can buy a better dildo (silicone or gel type are best) without wasting money overall. Buy a comfortable harness, plus I recommend you get a butterfly vibrator with remote for you to increase the speed as you go along to time your orgasms together. He does not get to masturbate during this. If he lays on his back, each thrust will massage his prostate. As you get more stimulated (and vocal), keep turning up the remote. He will get more excited and it will be a great finish for both of you.

fredbrownfredbrownover 2 years ago

My wife hits the "make him confess" button hard. After a week or two of denial, she will edge me until I am a drooling idiot and ask me questions until I bare my soul. She's gotten passwords and my fav porn site info and history's out of me - to read for herself my fantasys/fetishes and uses them for, with, and against me at her leisure.

Oh yes, I love it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

As a submissive husband I found this an enjoyable read that will hopefully provide some confidence and guidance for my wife in helping her navigate her tentative steps in becoming the dominant partner in our Female Led Relationship.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Not worth reading

Anything here that you find newsworthy tells you where you need to educate yourself, not submit yourself.

roja4uindiansroja4uindiansover 6 years ago
Nice

Nice ideas r put up

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