The Reluctant P.I.

"NO DON'T!"

I heard a tearing sound, and a smack like someone had been slapped. Fuck, this was getting out of hand. I jumped from my car and ran the motel as fast as I could, I hit the door with a full head of steam. The door splintered, and Mask was standing over a nearly naked Pam trying to undo his pants. I rushed him and knocked him across the room on his ass. I tried to get Pam off the bed and out the door, but it was too late, he pulled a gun on me and told me not to move.

"You fucking clown, you've interfered with me for the last time. You're a dead motherfucker now. I tried to let you live, I should have killed you after you shot my son. You just couldn't stay away, you tried to get my wife to divorce me. Hell, I paid you off on that one, it cost me twenty thousand and I even had Viviana fuck you to make sure you were out of the picture. But now you are going to die, you and your cunt ex-wife."

I moved to protect Pam, and everything went into slow motion. I heard a shot, and my chest was on fire. As I fell to the bed I heard someone yell, "FBI FREEZE", and then a shot, and then four more shots from behind me. The pain was fading as I went into shock, but I heard the distinctive sound of a voice "CLEAR!". Pam was holding my head and crying, but telling me I would be ok. My world was slowing down and fading, Pam's face was all I could see, her voice was the only link to the real world.

"Paul, I'm sorry, don't leave me... Paul, open your eyes. Get up, Paul please. PAUL! Do you hear me? You have to get up... GODDAMNED YOU PAUL! GET UP NOW! You're going to be late for work again. PAUL! Get your ass out of bed. You have that meeting with Richard this morning, you know, fer the IRS audit. Come on get moving, you're going to be late. Oh Christ, did you drink that whole bottle of NyQuil? You know what that stuff does to you. I need for you to take this Weight Watchers book to Richard, Viviana needs it. Her Doctor told her she had to lose eighty pounds. Paul, are you listening to me?"

Fucking cold, "Hack, sniff."

"Pam, would you get me some more NyQuil at the store today?"

Shit I never got to fuck Viviana in the ass, maybe tonight.

"Pam, get two bottles, ok?"