The Reluctant Psychic Ch. 18

"I have to go now, they are waiting for me. They have been waiting much too long. I will always love you, and I swear that I'll teach my children not to make the mistake that I made."

I stood up, leaned over Anna and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Goodbye Anna. I hope you find the peace in the next life that I took from you in this one."

With tears brimming in my eyes, I slowly made my way back to my room, gently closing the door to Anna's room.

* * *

I was staring at the ceiling as the sun rose and filled the room with light. The girls started to stir as the darkness fled. Bambi was the first to wake up enough to check on me. She clasped my hand and stroked my cheek. "How are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"I feel like going home," I said, looking deep into her eyes. She didn't need powers to know what I meant. She hugged me tightly and cried with happiness. It didn't take long for the other girls to wake to what was happening.

It took the hospital staff a bit longer to get my discharge sorted out. But, by the time we had finished a very crowded breakfast in my room, Doctor Conners came by to sign me out. The good doctor and I shared a brief but significant look. There was no way he could understand it all, but he understood enough and he promised to have the hospital call. He didn't say why the hospital would be calling, he didn't need to.

I was soon driving away from the hospital in a caravan of cars. As we drove, my mind kept wandering, unable to concentrate on the conversation buzzing inside the car. But as my eyes wandered, rather than seeking out the clouds outside the window, they settled on the girls.

* * *

Dinner that night was a muted affair. Out of respect for Anna, they left the seat next to me empty. It was a touching gesture, but it was also a nagging reminder. The side of me that was normally kept warm by a close pressed body instead felt tingly cold as if I was sitting next to a ghost.

The girls acted as if I was sitting next to a ghost as well. At first they engaged me in conversation as usual, but as the meal went on, I caught more glances toward the empty seat followed by averted eyes. They were happy that Anna was soon to be out of our lives, but ashamed for feeling that way. They were sorry for me, and for Anna, but they knew it was for the best.

Katia was also missing from dinner. I heard something about a patient who went into labor, but I wondered if she was absent because she didn't know about my powers. Or perhaps it was because she didn't know the true story about Anna. She would have to learn soon enough, but now was perhaps not the best time.

By the time dessert was served the girls and I had little appetite left. I doubt there was ever so much uneaten dessert as there was that night. The girls started drifting away from the table. They each came to my chair and gave me a kiss on the cheek before departing. Some started to offer words of encouragement, or consolation, but one glance of the empty seat and they scurried off without a word.

Betsy and Gwen were the last to leave. I could sense how much they wanted to leave, to have time for their own thoughts, but they stayed to keep me company. Finally, I told them that I needed time alone with my thoughts as much as they did. They didn't believe me, but eventually they departed, relieved and concerned in equal parts. In my mind's eye, I watched them walk slowly back to the girls' side of the house. They walked with their arms around each other, talking quietly.

I looked at the remains of our dinner and the empty chairs surrounding the table. I then did something I had never done before: I took my dirty plate and glass to the kitchen. After a bit of looking around I found a cart and pushed it back to the table and loaded all of the other dishes onto it. I took my time, allowing my mind to wander as I cleared the table. I seldom, if ever, even wondered who cleared the table after meals. I'd always taken such things for granted. I took a number of things in the house for granted. Perhaps this was the first step in making sure I no longer did.

It must have taken an hour to clear the table and load the dishwashers. I didn't know what was usually done with the leftovers, and nearly decided to throw them out. But with nearly a dozen pregnant women in the house, I decided it was probably best to leave some pre-cooked food around.

Once I was done in the kitchen, I went around the house, turning off the lights. This task, at least, I was familiar with. There were many nights when my dark memories stirred too close to the surface to face sleep. Tonight, I knew, was going to be such a night.

As I shut off the last light downstairs, I found my feet taking me towards the back door rather than the stairs. I soon crossed the terrace, and then the yard. My pace slowed as I entered the woods, as the moon's illumination grew too feeble to travel quickly. But even in the near blackness of the woods, my feet knew the way to my not-so-secret lair.

The lair, turned clubhouse, was far enough away from the house that my powers couldn't reach from one to the other. Inside I could be isolated from the girls' thoughts, and they could be isolated from mine. I neared the edge of my range and stopped, casting my thoughts back to my girls. My touch must have been clumsy from such a distance, since I could feel many of them focus their attention on me. I told them all goodnight. I must have sent more than just goodnight, since there were no protestations of concern or offers to keep me company.

A few more minutes of walking and I was out of range entirely. I made my way through the hidden door, and the long corridor to my hideout. I crossed immediately to the far doors that lead out onto the balcony cut into the cliff face. I stood there and watched the stars spin slowly across the sky. I let my mind wander and tried to find some sort of peace with the world.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. It was as if I fell asleep watching the stars and awoke to here Betsy telling me that Doctor Conners was on the phone for me.

I remember how very steady my hand was as I reached for the phone. I put it to my ear and said in a perfectly calm voice, "Hello Doctor Conners."

My hearing seemed to fade in and out as I listened to Dr. Conners. But while my conscious mind might only have heard, "...I'm calling regarding Anna..." my subconscious mind heard the entire conversation.

I heard myself say, in a perfectly calm voice, "Thank-you for calling Doctor." My hand was still steady when I put the phone down on the cradle. As the line clicked shut, the world suddenly began to spin as my legs collapsed, leaving me sitting on the floor. I cradled my head in my hands waiting for the world to stop moving, and grimly holding on to consciousness.

Eventually the world stopped spinning, and I became aware of my surroundings. All of my girls were around me, some close enough that they struggled to resist grabbing me in their arms. They sat, knelt and stood around me, waiting for me to say what they all already knew.

I looked up, and in the back of the group, I saw a young blonde head. Of all the faces that were turned towards me, hers was the only one at peace. She touched her slim fingers to her lips and blew me a kiss, before folding her fingers in a small sad wave. The sadness only touched her face for a moment and caused only a single tear to slide down her cheek. The peace settled over her face again. I felt a small portion of that peace settle into my heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. When I opened my eyes again, she was gone.

"Goodbye Anna," I said.

* * *

I hope you have enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I'd like to thank everyone who has stuck with the story through the many delays. I'd especially like to thank the people who have taken the time to write me comments on the story and who have voted. It really means a lot to me.

I would also love to hear your reactions/comments now that the story has ended.