The Rendezvous Ch. 04

"No," Keri shook her head. Better get to the point, she told herself. Remember, she may know everything already. "It's you. You told us about how you like sex and..."

"And you're wondering if I like sex with girls as well as with guys," Erika replied, smiling knowingly. She pointed a V of two fingers at them. "Because you two are that way. Right?"

"Uh..." Keri's mouth fell open as she realized Erika was confirming her fears. Evan too was looking aghast. "How did you...?"

Erika shrugged, then put her hands together and resumed speaking. "I notice things. I've also been sitting in this room for most of the past hour while you two were in the room next door. I couldn't help overhearing a lot of the things you said and did in there. I wasn't giving it my full attention, that's reserved for my lines, but..." She blushed again, then smiled. "I almost got myself off a couple times listening to what I could hear. I hope you don't mind."

Evan and Keri stared at each other, their thoughts in a rush. "Oh," Keri gulped, looking back at Erika. "Well, uh, how much do you know?"

Erika shrugged again. "Not a lot, really. More guesses than facts. I don't know everything." She looked back and forth at them. "I did hear part of that plan you made, though. The one to get together with me and Alicia."

Keri raised her eyebrows, knowing what she had to ask next. "And are you interested in this plan?"

Erika smirked, and Keri felt her heart collapse. "Why not?" the blonde chuckled. "You're both hot, fun people. This is a little faster than I usually go, but okay." She looked back and forth at them again. "Yes," she said after another moment of silence, "I am occasionally into women. Not a lot, but it happens now and then."

Evan beamed at her. "So I was right, wasn't I? About your kiss with Busy Phillips?"

Erika nodded, her face shining with warmth and confidence. "That was where it began." She gestured as she spoke. "I had thought about women before that. Pondered, fantasized. You talk about sex a lot in my religion, we go to our ministers and get audited about things. You have to choose who you go to carefully, though. A lot of people don't believe in keeping silent. We need a seal of confession, like the Catholics have." Once more she smirked.

"We can agree on that," Keri said. "We've seen everything in the media about how religious people don't like homosexuals." Keri frowned at the words. "Or bisexuals."

"Bisexual," Erika said. "I'm definitely in that group. You two also, right?"

Keri nodded, and so did Evan. "I haven't been all the way with a guy yet," the young girl clarified, "but yes. I think I'm bi."

"Good," Erika smirked. "Then we can understand each other." She turned back to Keri. "You're right, Keri, most religious people aren't too thrilled about the strange aspects of their sexuality. But then, that's true for a lot of people in general." She paused, then started speaking again. "Strange is subjective anyway. So are a lot of things. When I first started having sexual thoughts about girls, I thought they were strange too. That's why most of the time, I didn't really concentrate on the thoughts I was having. I just pushed them aside. But then there was that kiss."

"Yeah, that's how it was for me," said Evan. "I didn't really think about my sexual orientation, I just thought I was normal. Then a couple writers thought I could play a different person, and well..."

Erika smiled at her. "One affected the other, became part of your world. That's how it was for me. You too, Keri?"

Keri shook her head. "Things just kind of happened," she said. "I found I liked having sex for various reasons, and so did Ilana, and Tony, and..."

Erika cut her off with a wave of her hand. Again she was smirking. "I don't need to know who all you've been with. I'm in the swinging lifestyle too. It's fun. Things were hard for me at first, but they changed once I found the right people."

Keri and Evan nodded at each other. We were right, Keri smiled. Thank goodness. We were right. "Busy?" Evan asked.

"No," Erika frowned. She dropped her hand. "Busy was disturbed by our kiss, very disturbed. I think she was mainly going along with it because the writers wanted us to do it. I was doing it for the same reasons, at first. That, and I was curious whether I'd like it or not. It was very hard for me, harder than my Traffic lovescenes. Swimfan was different, by then I was a little more confident. Things were more detailed."

"Let me guess," Keri said. "You lost your virginity late."

"Yes," Erika confirmed, looking reverent. "I was young, just getting finished with Traffic. I was alone a lot of the time growing up- acting can help you connect with people, but you can still be alone doing it, you know? Acting has also exposed me to a lot of things I've never considered doing before. That film was the first to really do that for me, especially with all the research I had to do for my role. I got curious about a lot of things I hadn't yet gotten around to doing."

Erika paused, then spoke again. "After doing the lovescenes and acting my way through them, I got with my boyfriend at the time and told him I was ready. I needed to do it. We did. He wasn't very good, it was his first time too. Then we practiced, got better. Eventually, though, we drifted apart, broke up. When I did Home Room, I didn't have a boyfriend."

Evan smiled. "And you had to kiss another girl."

"Yeah," Erika laughed. "I had never done that. I'd thought about it, but no one had ever asked me. I hadn't considered..." She dropped her hand after tucking a curl of hair behind her ear. "I got through the scene, then tried talking to Busy about it afterwards. She didn't want to talk to me. She was just glad things were done." She sighed, then smiled once more. "Victor did want to talk to me, though. He'd watched the scene and our faces while we did it. He guessed some things. He wanted to make sure we were okay with our feelings about doing what we did."

"Victor Garber?" Keri guessed, remembering that Jennifer Garner had told her about the actor who played her father on Alias starring in Home Room as a detective. She also recalled Jennifer telling her about similar conversations she'd had with Victor while working on their show. Like the characters they played, both Jennifer and Victor worked hard at building relationships.

"Yeah," Erika smiled, nodding. "If you're going to ask, no, I'm not sure whether he's into the lifestyle. It's not something you just ask someone." She frowned for an instant, then resumed speaking. "If he is, though, well, it would make a lot of sense."

Yeah, Keri mused, remembering the things Jennifer had told her about Victor and Lena Olin. The woman was only his wife on the show, not for real, but the friendship they had that Jennifer had told her about... No, best not think about that now. "You talked to him about swinging, right?" she asked Erika.

"Yes," Erika replied. "He told me some things no one else would. Encouraged me to explore my feelings further, be sure of them. I resisted at first, but then I got interested. Victor gave me some names of people who he thought could help. The first was a shock to me. Geena Davis."

Evan smiled and snapped her fingers. "You did that TV show with her."

"Yes," Erika said. "I only did a few episodes. Geena and I got along okay, but I never thought..." She grinned. "Geena was an exchange student in Sweden when she was growing up, she got into the lifestyle over there. Then, when she was modeling, she got further into it. I tracked her down, told her about what I was feeling, and that Victor said she could help me. I thought I needed someone to teach me more about being with women, and well..." She paused, suddenly blushing again. "Uh, you two are going to keep this a secret?"

"Of course we are," Keri assured her. "Everyone has secrets."

"I'm good at keeping secrets," Evan laughed. "I did a movie about it."

Erika smiled back. "I remember that one. It was funny." She paused, then started talking again. "Geena had a lot of female partners before me. None as far apart from her in age as I was, but that didn't stop her from being attracted to me, or vice versa. She taught me everything she knew about pleasing women, and also introduced me to Susan. That led to Banger Sisters, my next big movie."

"Susan?" Evan frowned, confused. Then her eyes widened. "You mean Susan Sarandon? But she's so..."

"She was Janet!" Keri cut in, remembering the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Somehow learning these new facts about Susan Sarandon didn't surprise her, maybe because of that.

"Yes," Erika smiled. "Susan and Geena of course got together while they were acting as Thelma & Louise. Susan hides well the fact that she's into the lifestyle, we all have to. You two know about that, right?"

"I'm not really into swinging," Evan held up her hand, grimacing noticeably. "I've just heard about it, working in our industry, and I've thought about it, and well..." She looked at Keri, then at Erika, blushed, then smiled.

Keri smiled back. She felt the same way. "I've heard about it a lot more than I've gotten into it too. I'm not really a swinger, I just have a lot of partners."

"So do lots of people in Hollywood," Erika laughed, extending her fingers one by one. "Susan, Geena, Goldie, Rosey, Jesse after we got together, Shiri, Kate..." She paused, closing her hand with a grimace. "I'm not going to name all the names. I've heard far more rumors than I've been able to confirm. It's fun finding things out, discovering the truth of them. Isn't it?"

"Yeah," Keri agreed, looking at Evan. They both were smiling.

Erika stared at them for a second, then smiled and pointed a V of her fingers at them again. "You know, I'm surprised you two are into the lifestyle. All I've heard about you makes me think such a thing is crazy. Then again, the media doesn't show everything, right?"

"No," Keri said. "It doesn't."

"My parents are into the lifestyle," said Evan. "We visited this nudist camp every summer when I was a kid, lots of things went on there, and well..." She grinned and shrugged. "I asked, they told me. Sometimes I still can't believe everything they told me."

"I see," Keri smiled at the young girl. A lot was making sense to her now, the blanks filling in. She turned back to Erika. "Are lots of Scientologists swingers?"

"Some more than others," Erika frowned. "The vast majority of us aren't, but that's true for most people. Every person is different."

Keri nodded. "Especially your people," she said before she could stop herself.

Erika smiled, taking no offense. "We're still finding our way," she said. "All of us. That's what I've come to believe. Some of us are finding the wrong way, or the really wrong way. It helps, though, if you're frank about yourself, up front, don't cop out or hold back. That's what a lot of us know and believe, that we really can change the world, mold who we are. It's what scares so many people about us."

Keri was quiet for a second, taking in her words. "That's..."

"Radical? Different? Totally crazy?" Erika smirked. "I think so. The funny thing is, believing in it works. For me anyway. You know how it is in acting. You do so many roles, but over time they all blend together. They all feel so similar, so fake. I hate feeling fake more than anything in the world."

"Your Banger Sisters speech," Evan said. Keri smiled, also recognizing the words.

"Yes," Erika said, grinning as she continued. "Everyone has such high expectations for you, a role they want you to play. The media helps them do it with all of us. You wouldn't believe the ideas some people get about you. People plan everything for you, with high expectations, but what if it has nothing to do with you? You lose track of yourself, and that sucks. We're in the world, and there's so much out there. So many new things, too. I have little idea about a lot of them. Sometimes I'm scared to death, sometimes I'm excited. I know this, though- whatever you do, you've got to do it true. I'd rather fail doing my own thing than do what someone else wants me to do and succeed at it."

"Amen," Keri said. Evan nodded.

"That's why I don't do things in a regimented way," Erika said. "That's why I get random, reckless. It keeps me alone, but at the same time it keeps me happy. Lots of people don't agree with me on this, but I do it. It's my thing. You've got to dare to do your thing. You've also got to dare to make friends and to keep them, no matter what you fear they might think of you, no matter how different from you they are. If they're true friends, they will accept you. No matter what."

"Yeah," Keri said, smiling at Evan. The young girl nodded again, smiling back.

"It's the same way for you two, right?" Erika asked. "We all do our own thing. All of us, all in different ways." She fingered the fabric of her kimono, smiling. "We all live in the gray. Everyone forms different perceptions of life and each other. Meanwhile, deep down, we're all the same. We all have similar hopes, fears, things we have to settle. Until we realize that, we can never really know the truth about people, or ourselves."

"Yeah," Keri nodded. That's very true, she thought.

"And even then we don't fully know ourselves," Evan added, breaking her silence. "Some of us are still learning."

"We all are," said Erika. "Movies help, especially the ones where you do things you've never thought about doing, try to explore the different ways people see you. Like Tom in Eyes Wide Shut, de Niro in Taxi Driver, or Mel Gibson in Man Without a Face." She smiled at them. "Can you think about a movie or a show where you've done that? Explored how your life might have been different?"

Keri paused for a second, then smiled. "Every one of them."

"Every one of mine too," Evan agreed.

"And mine," Erika nodded, then fell silent. Keri stared at her for a long moment, wondering if she should get up and leave. No, she reminded herself. I like this girl. I came here for a reason. Erika seemed to sense this because she paused and shrugged. "Look," she said, "this is a little too much for me right now, okay? I don't want to talk about it. Let's get back to what we were talking about before. The two of you wanted to do it with me."

"Yes," Keri said, pushing away all they'd just thought about and remembering her fantasies. She looked at Evan, who was nodding gratefully, then at Erika, smiling. Could they really put aside their differences? she wondered. Embrace each other, no holding back? Could her fantasies really come true? So many had already, but...

I have to try this, she decided. I have to try new things, find out whether they can happen. That's what living life is about. And friendship too, now that I think about it. Finding common ground, embracing and settling the issues that divide you. Everything else is just details in the same big game.

"Do you want to do it with us?" Evan asked Erika, her voice full of fearful anticipation.

The other blonde smiled. "I've fantasized about it, I won't lie. I'm just not sure, though. That's one thing that's different between me and a lot of people in the lifestyle. I think carefully about who I get with. I try to get to know them first, make sure we're compatible. I think it's better in the end that way."

"It is," Keri said. "Sometimes things don't work out. It helps to be ready." Evan nodded in agreement.

"Very true," Erika replied. She folded her hands together and frowned. "I tried getting Scarlett Johansson into the lifestyle while we were making our MTV film The Perfect Score. She wasn't into it, though. I got that from her when we talked, and later after I thought about things. She's more of a one person at a time kind of girl, not really polyamorous." Her expression changed to a smile. "She was fun, though. She did still want me."

"You got with Scarlett Johansson?" Evan asked, eyes wide. "How was she? My brothers are big fans of hers, me too."

"She was great," Erika grinned, bemused. "Almost too great. I pursued her, I did her once, then I knew I had to stop. We just weren't compatible, it wouldn't have worked. That, and she cried out the name Jared during one of her orgasms. I thought it was unconscious, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to think about what might happen if it wasn't."

Keri grimaced, thinking that the other actress was recalling her most well-known character. "That won't happen with us," she assured Erika.

"Good," Erika said. "I would hope not." She looked at Evan for confirmation.

"Don't worry," the young girl said. "Mischa and Nikki have both moved on from me, they're seeing other people now. They know they can come back to me, though, whenever they like. I'm sure it will be the same for you." She looked at Keri. "It already is for you. You know that, right?"

"Thanks," Keri smiled, realizing she too could say the same about most of her lovers. It was good that she could say it again.

"Then there was Lauren," Erika's voice broke into her thoughts.

"What?" Keri raised her eyebrow. "You and Lauren..."

Erika sighed and looked at the floor. "Actually, no. I got attracted to her, made a move... next thing I know, she's accusing me of religious harassment. I try and correct her that it's sex I want- not my fault she mistook the object of the sale- but of course that's even worse to her. Thankfully Mike talked her out of getting too angry, but she still quit the film. That's why you're here now."

"And why Mike is so worried about us getting along with each other," Keri realized.

"And why you were embarassed when I brought up lesbians earlier," Evan put in.

"Right and right," Erika said. "And of course I promised Mike there'd be no more hanky panky. But I've gotten around nosy worrywart directors before. On both my last two movies with multiple co-stars as a matter of fact. So if you two are really interested..." She raised her hands at their frowns. "Don't worry, the negative reputation of my religion is greatly exgaggerated, and as you should know by now, I'm not really that fanatical about it. We won't do anything you don't want to do."

Will I have to hold her to that? Keri wondered. Won't know until I find out, was her next thought. And I don't want to pass up this opportunity. Of course things can still go wrong even if I take it... She pushed such thoughts aside. Given all that had happened today, she was already in much too deep. Might as well go all the way, she decided, hope for the best, and take things as they come- no pun intended.

"I'm game even if you're not," Evan said, making her decision all the easier.

"Oh, I'm game," Keri said, eyeing Erika again and recalling what she looked like naked. "I'm definitely game." She hoped the slight bit of reluctance she still felt was not evident in her voice.

"Then enough dancing around already," Erika laughed, uncrossing her legs and standing up. "Let's go on and do it."

Keri frowned, looking at the other two girls. Her earlier encounters of the day had happened in similar surroundings, but this would be more involved. It might also be more noticeable. She raised her eyebrows. "Here? Now?" Evan's face showed she was pondering the same questions.

Erika shrugged and made a gesture. "You want to go to my hotel room instead? We can, but someone might follow us. I've already been spotted by a few paparazzi here, and had them trail me. I like swinging, but I don't want too many people finding out I'm into it, you know? At least here we're in a controlled environment. Security's in the building. We all know what's here."

"What if Mike comes by again?" Evan asked her, frowning. "Or someone else?"

"We'll take precautions," Erika said. Her smile and upraised finger showed she had some ideas. The blonde turned and grabbed two other kimonos off the rack next to her dressing table. One was red with cranes and lilies, the other purple with white cherry blossoms. "If someone comes knocking at the door, we'll stop, compose ourselves, put these on, then answer it. If the phone rings, we'll do the same. If anyone asks what we were doing, well, you already know about me and Taxi Driver."