The River Street Apartment

Fears and Desires

It started out as just another evening. Dani was tired of visiting the same friends, talking about the same things, watching the same shows, just more of the same. Don't get me wrong she was happy, she has a great life, it was just reaching a point where she wanted "more". More connection perhaps with someone that she really could relate to in more "intimate" ways. Yes, that kind of "intimate"; she was a very beautiful woman and she wanted more.

She had been dreaming of someone with whom she could be comfortable sharing her most private fantasies and desires with, someone who would not judge, but rather, would embrace her desires as his own. Perhaps this was wishful thinking. After all, there were only so many men in Southport, Long Island.

After evaluating her options, she decided to stay at home and do nothing... again.

Dani spent the next several hours going down the social media rabbit hole, looking in on old friends, stalking her ex's Facebook pages to see what bad decisions they had made and generally killing time.

But there was one, one man that she always thought of when her longing took control.

He was "the" one, but they were together many years ago, life had managed to keep them apart.

What was it that kept him from contacting her? Fear? Fear of unhealed wounds, fear of rejection, I think it was the thought that she didn't want him too that kept him from contacting her. Many, many times over the years they had both considered but decided not to contact each other. Theirs was a love that was very rare, passionate, totally consuming, not leaving room for self, they defined each other. They "were" each other. Perhaps that relationship was better left in the past. Everyone knows you can't lose who you are to your lover. She had done the only thing she knew how to do, she moved to the other side of the country so that they could heal. He never really understood the sacrifice she had made.

Their relationship had left a scar on each that would not heal, how do you find happiness when no one compares?

Unknowingly, they had each decided to leave well enough alone and "check in" with each other as they could without letting the other person know; Thank you Facebook.

One evening Dani was living life as usual when something happened that would put things on a different track. She received a message from "him".

The message consisted of only one word, "Hey."

She was not sure how to respond, or should she respond at all? How could this be happening? How could she respond without oversimplifying the response, should she respond "Hey." as well? "How are you doing?" nothing seemed to measure up to the importance of this moment. As Dani considered her potential responses "He" gave her another opportunity, an opportunity that took the pressure of the response away. He messaged her that she had a beautiful child. In her mind, she could now respond in a myriad of ways, none of which seemed less than they should. She knew that he had reviewed her life as well and that he was willing to communicate. It would seem there were no expectations, but this communication felt right.

She did not know many hundreds if not thousands of times that he had considered reaching out, but failing to do so for the same reasons as her. Much like the "Christmas gifts" of the comb and the watch chain, had they only known what the other was thinking, this may have happened much sooner.

Acceleration

Speaking to each other seems the most comfortable, so much more so than the anticipation of the conversation, it was as if no time had elapsed, no one had ever come in-between.

There were many conversations over the next days and weeks, some reparations, some explanations, some dreams were discussed as well as misunderstandings put to rest. It really is remarkable what a little communication can do for a relationship. Even one that has been on ice for a quarter of a century.

They discussed fears, desires, successes and failures along the way, mostly they discovered that they each still had a longing for the missing piece... each other.

Neither of them had really been able to move on even after such a long time, he still thought of her nearly every day. It seemed that she thought of him as well.

Their conversation was usually light, neither of them wanted to spoil the time talking with the heaviness that the past could bring. They were young then, sometimes hot and sometimes hot headed. Volatility was the order of the day both for good and bad. Sometimes passion plays that role. Fire that burns bright can also burn you. Time has shown that immaturity is different than malice.

What they found in speaking to each other was that they had both changed a great deal for the better.

Both passionate still but age and wisdom had given them an insight into giving and taking that they were missing in the younger version of themselves.

Talk eventually turned to talk of a meeting.

As they discussed meeting their excitement grew. Where would they meet? What would that be like? He was apprehensive that he would not measure up to the memory of youth. People tend to remember other people as they were the last time they were together.

They had seen evidence of the changes in their lives, photographs mostly, but had not seen each other or spoken in person for 23 years. By any measure a long time.

Somehow, they had both held youth in their attitude and appearance. (At least she did anyway) Middle age had been good to them. They were fun and exciting people when left to their own devices. Their conversations often turned to sex. Like a stumbling discovery process all over again except this time they were familiar and there was a palpable lack of judgement. They quickly discovered that they had grown up separately but remarkably similar in their tastes and desires, much like twins separated at birth.

They were very excited to meet, to embrace, to kiss. They loved to kiss. They were like hot wild teenagers that had learned how to do it right. Making love is amazing when each person's first desire is to please the other without hesitation. As they spoke they both began to realize that the possibilities were quite exciting, really, very exciting.

The Meeting

The plans were laid, the trip was on. He could barely contain himself, the anticipation of their long overdue meeting was consuming his every thought. Nightly solo sessions were the order of business and they were both growing anxious for more.

Dani found that telling him how she felt prior to his arrival was liberating, almost like releasing a pressure valve. Now that she had that conversation behind her, it was much easier. Honesty is always the best path if not the most comfortable. Playing the "200 questions" game had helped to break the rust from their souls. Sometimes it is easier to text than to talk.

He and his sons would arrive on a Saturday evening in July. The North Carolina coast would be perfect for a reunion. Their kids would meet, they would spend time on the beach and get to know each other, and they would hold each other for the first time in a very long time. The details would come together.

They planned the days, trips to gardens, the aquarium, the beach, their boys had fun and so did they.

One evening he left his boys with his dad and went out to meet her. They would meet at an antique apartment near downtown. Riverwalk is not far and they would dine by the water and it would be marvelous, and it was. The walk down the river arm in arm was extraordinary. Her heart was at peace and he could not have been more content. The years melted away like sugar, sweet as honey, time travel is possible it would seem.

After dinner, they decided to go back to the apartment and sit on the couch and talk, the nervous energy was like an electric field around them. They knew each other like soft leather gloves lost for years but found in a drawer, still supple and comfortable, but the anticipation of the next moments was overwhelming. Kissing her was all he could think of, he didn't want to assume that she desired him in a physical way. Lying beside her was occupying every synapse in his brain. He felt like, and was acting like, an adolescent. "Good grief man get a grip, just kiss her!" he thought.

At that moment, Dani leaned over and said, "you are taking too long." She kissed him on the lips. You know the kind of kiss where the lips are soft and wanting? The lips melt into each other wet and hungry, parting the mouth so that they become one, a kiss dreams are made of. This was that kind of kiss. He held the back of her head pulling her closer to him. Kissing her neck, behind her ears, he kissed her drinking her in like a dying man, fresh from the desert. She smelled divine.

Her hand found the small of his back, pulling herself closer as he kissed her, his hands on her felt strong but gentle. He knew how to hold a woman in a way that made her feel safe but desired. And he did desire her, he wanted to take her.

She kissed his neck, her hands felt down his back to his thighs. She wanted to be taken.

As they fell deeper into the moment any hesitation they may have had disappeared. He stood up above her and pulled her shirt over her head exposing her breasts. They were miraculous. The best money could buy . Beautiful and perfectly shaped. He kneeled before her kissing her neck and working his way to her breasts. Kissing, biting, licking her perfectly. Her body responded. Arching her back to press forward, he began kissing her stomach and sides. Pulling her hips forward he unbuttoned her jeans, pulled the zipper down and kissed her lower abdomen, sweetly, he loved her. Lying his head on her lap and wrapping his arm behind her he lay there breathing her in. He could "feel" her wanting him. Neither of them were willing to move for a long moment. She placed her hand on his head in a show of willingness and affection. He removed his arm and stood, reaching for her hand.

Dani took his hand and he pulled her from the couch leading her into the bedroom.

The light from River Street spilled into the room. Shadows fell across the floor. The room was dimly lit. The bedroom was beautiful with hardwood floors and high ceilings. An antique four post bed was in the center of the room. He led her to the bed and she sat down. It felt cool to her hands. Pushing her back on the bed he kissed her warmly on the mouth. The moonlight fell across her breasts, she looked beautiful, she was stunning. Lifting her legs, he removed her clothing. The bed felt cool on her naked body. He held her leg in the air and kissed her along the length of her leg. Her body responded automatically, her sex was hot and wet, waiting on him to touch her there. He kissed her thighs moving gently up to her body. Placing the flat of his hand on her stomach, he kissed her between her legs but did not linger.

Walking around the bed he reached across and pulled her up onto the bed. Gently taking her hand and kneeling, he lifted a velvet rope that had been hanging from the post, it had been placed there earlier in preparation; this fact demonstrated his confidence. Rolling her onto her stomach he tied her right hand to the left post at the foot of the bed. The rope was tightly tied but it did not hurt. Walking to the head of the bed he took her left hand and tied it to the post as well. Her arms were pulled out to her sides as she lay across the bed. Moonlight streamed across her beautiful derrière accentuating her curves. As he walked around to the other side of the bed he was pleased at how she had developed over the years. She was divine feminine in her strength like a goddess. He wanted to taste her, to "know" her every secret. Reaching to the floor he lifted the rope at the right bottom post gently tying her right foot. Slowly he repeated the action at the head of the bed. She was now his to do with as he wished. Vulnerable, exposed, she waited as he exited the room.

There was no sound in the ancient apartment. She could hear only his footsteps in the outer room.

It seemed an eternity before she heard him coming back. Her body ached with desire, but she wanted this to linger on.

He walked into the room and she could smell rosemary, she could not turn to look but the light flickering told her that he held a candle.

She felt very exposed as he stood behind her, her womanhood visible to his penetrating eyes. She was helpless to take any action other than to wait. He placed the candle on the table and moved to the left side of the bed by her head. She tried to turn her head to see but she could not raise her head above his waist. As he stood by her head he began to unbutton his shirt, slowly, deliberately, he removed one button at a time until the cotton shirt hung open. He slipped off his shoes and removed his belt. Then unbuttoned his pants, slowly unzipping them so that no sound was made. He removed them and folded them and placed them on a chair by the foot of the bed. Walking back to the bed he stood at her head. Turning her head to the side with his hands he approached the bed. Her face was directly in contact with him. He was slightly turned so that his right hip touched the bed and his left hip touched the top of her head. As he pushed forward she had no choice but to touch him with her face. As this happened she could see him aroused and heavy. She wanted to taste him but dared not without instruction to do so.

He leaned forward and placed his hands on her back and shoulders, rubbing her, firmly pushing down the length of her back, she exhaled relaxing from the pressure and inhaling as he stood.

Her face was pressing against his body, her mouth watered with anticipation but she had not been instructed to move.

He stood and walked to the other side of the bed. He walked to the table at the foot of the bed and over to her feet. He held a bottle of oil in his hand. He poured a pool into his palm and warmed it. Beginning at her foot, he firmly massaged her. Moving up her calves to her thigh, repeating with the other leg touching every part except the most intimate. He pushed his hands up over her buttocks and as he did so she felt even more exposed. There was no part of her that he could not see. She was burning for his entry. Swollen and aching, she waited as he rubbed her derrière and the small of her back. He still stood on the floor. He was tall, reaching across was no issue. He continued rubbing her, worshiping her, like she was the only one that mattered. Standing erect he walked back around to the other side of the bed. Assuming his previous position, placing himself so close that she had no choice but to touch him with her face. "Take me in your mouth please." he said.

Opening her mouth with his fingers, he moved closer and entered her mouth. He tasted clean, sweet, and instantly hard. She could not resist as he pushed closer. Placing his hands on her shoulders and back he repeated the actions from before. Pushing down to the small of her back, the oil, hot and sweet, felt divine. He backed away from her face and walked back to the other side of the bed. He again began rubbing her legs, her buttocks, and the small of her back. She could not see but she felt him kneel on the bed between her legs. This time as he pushed up the inside of her thighs his thumbs turned to the inside, she felt him touch her flower, pushing up her curves his thumbs pushed in so that he touched all of her as he pushed forward. She could not help but gasp as she was screaming inside to be taken. Leaning over her, he pushed up to her back and shoulders, as this happened, his hardness pushed between her cheeks. She pushed back against him. Like an animal, hot, ready, she raised her hips.

He moved away from her wet from the contact. Sliding back to the edge of the bed, he began to kiss her thighs and the back of her knees. Kissing and flicking with his tongue, licking her, loving her. He pushed his hands up the inside of her thighs and pushed her cheeks apart. Placing his hands on each cheek he pressed his face deeply between her legs, tasting her intensely inside, she was heavenly, sweet and hot. Licking every fold, biting, sucking, placing his fingers inside of her she moaned, lifting himself slightly, his tongue found her forbidden sex, as he tasted her there she screamed inside with guilty pleasure. He stayed there, focusing on her pleasure, fingers inside, licking her completely, her passion rose and she could not contain it. He worshiped her.

Sweat and sex, were prevalent. Still tied, Dani was powerless to move. He stood and walked to the table where the candle burned. Placing his finger in the hot wax, testing it, he smiled. Walking to the other side of the bed, he again pushed his body to her face. "Please take me in your mouth."

She willingly complied.

When he was sufficiently hard, he pulled back and walked to the other side of the bed. Pulling the pillow from the head of the bed, kneeling, he lifted her body and placed the pillow under her so that her backside was lifted into the air. Reaching the table, he lifted the candle and carefully placed the cup over her buttocks. Holding the candle in his right hand, and pulling her cheeks apart with his left, he let the wax spill over into the valley of her beautiful derrière, the hot wax cascaded down as she felt it hot and wild. She could not hold in the moan of excitement as it dripped over her forbidden sex, it felt warm, so exciting, so amazing. Smiling he spilled the wax onto her cheeks and the small of her back, and again into the space between her legs, the wax when rubbed turned to oil, placing the candle on the table he rubbed her again until she was relaxed and compliant.

Kneeling again on the bed between her legs, he rubbed her back, pushing against her sex with his own, she felt him like hot stone, again she pushed up to meet him. He then pushed himself inside of her. Gliding in effortlessly with the heat, she cried out. Pulling almost all the way back, he plunged again inside her. Deep and hard he went, hot, passionate and wild. Faster and deeper he made her his.

Almost at the point of ecstasy, he stopped and pulled back, removing himself from her he leaned over and took the oil from the table. Pouring it without consideration of the amount, he soaked her behind with oil.

Rubbing himself between her legs, pushing inside her waiting pussy, his love was wild and familiar, deep and hard he pushed forward into her. As he entered her he pushed his finger inside of her as to feel his cock pushing inside. Filling her completely.

They were in ecstasy together, when he said, "tell me what you want." "I want you she said." "tell me what you want." He said. "Take me like you have never had me." She said. As she said those words, he removed himself from her and pushed against her completely, rubbing himself between her cheeks, pushing against her forbidden sex, he slowly entered her. She moaned as did he, he had not felt her like this before, resistant yet simultaneously compliant, tight and hot and wild.

Reaching above her, he untied her left hand, and placed it under her body, guiding her fingers inside of herself, he pushed inside of her again from behind, their passion reached a level that they had never reached before. As the moon moved across the window, they reached the epitome of climax together as he lie over her still inside. Soaked with sweat and sex, he lay over her.

Slowly he rose from her, walked around the bed and bound her hand back to the bed. Bending down he kissed her gently on the lips and walked out of the room.

When he returned, he returned with a cloth and warm water. Gently washing her, he kissed and stroked her. She was precious to him.

Gently he untied her as he walked around the bed. He turned her to place her properly on the bed and he lay beside her.