The Rose Diaries Ch. 18

Disclaimer and Notes: The Rose Diaries is an incredibly dark story focusing on forced (heavy emphasis on "forced") feminization of a completely non-compliant individual. There are elements of non-consent, violence, and dark subject matters. In addition, this story depicts dysphoria, dissociation, and general depression.

I hope you do enjoy this chapter if you decide to continue reading. If you do enjoy this chapter, please leave a comment/feedback and let me know!

Act 2 will have fleeting moments of intense physical violence. I will give more warning when it is present in the chapter. It is in general darker than Act 1.

Thank you.

*****

One Day Later

Blackstone Manor

Miss P.'s Room

Feminization Day 2

He gave a small sigh as Miss P. fidgeted with his false lashes. He was dressed in a schoolgirls uniform with his long hair tied back into twin pigtails fastened with two pink bows. Miss P. bit her lip as she took a step back.

"Finally!" She sighed.

"That sucked." He groaned. "How often do I have to do that?"

"Depends on how good you want to look. Which is?"

"As best as possible." He groaned. "I get it. I have to be sparkly and beautiful all the time or I'll be in trouble."

"Well it's not about trouble. It's about learning, flower."

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed. "Can I have my point now?"

"No flower, not until you tell me what style means to you?" He groaned as he closed his eyes. Style? What the fuck did style have to do with any of it.

"I don't know. How people perceive us? How to stand out in a crowd?" Miss P.'s jaw nearly dropped as she stepped away and nodded.

"That," She gasped. "That was so very good."

"Point?"

"Point." She nodded.

--

Two Weeks Later

Blackstone Manor

Salon

Cosmetics with Miss I.

"Fuck!" He screamed as he tossed the pen across the room. He nearly tore out his hair as he stared at the smudged black-eyed racoon staring back at him. How much steadier did his hands need to be?

"It's like painting." Miss I. sighed placing a hand on his shoulder. "Calm and steady movements."

"It's bullshit." He groaned. He couldn't help but stare at her violet eyes that were flanked by dagger-sharp winged eyeliner.

"It's hard, Doll. But you'll learn." She smiled. "I'm here to help remember!"

"Do all the girls need to do this?"

"Oh yes." She laughed. "All of them. Try again."

"Fine." He sighed grabbing hold of a spare pen in the array of cosmetics in front of the vanity.

"Just remember that I believe in you Doll."

"Someone's got to." He muttered. "Cause my fucking eyeliner sure as fuck doesn't."

---

Three Months Later

Blackstone Manor

First Floor Bathroom

Evening Shower

He sighed as he got into the bath. The hot water felt like pure heaven to his aching body. He had been on his hands-and-knees scrubbing the third floor all day. He couldn't help but detest Miss S.'s training. He was just not made to be a maid. Nor did he have any intention of being one. He loved this bathroom in all of the manor. It surrounded by beautiful mosaics, statues of goddesses', and a lion's mouth out which poured hot fresh water. The air was covered in a thick fog of steam and he loved how he could nearly hide in it.

It was different being able to bathe by himself. As he worked and worked, he got back so much more than he expected. Miss D. never bothered him again, Miss A. almost seemed happy to see him whenever they bumped into each other and Miss K. and R. treated him like they loved him again. He was trusted to roam the halls and even trusted to dress himself. He glanced at today's outfit lying carefully folded on a nearby bench.

It was a tasteful maid's uniform that he had dressed himself in. A cream white with red embellishments around. To match, he wore black stockings and pumps with little red bows. He liked dressing himself. It meant that he could keep the height of his shoes under four inches.

He ran his long pink nails through his blonde hair as he leaned against the edge of the bath. If the schedule was accurate then tomorrow would be a review day. He wondered on which he'd be tested. Was it femininity with Miss P.? His behavior with Miss K.? Or would it be something else as chosen by Miss A.?

"Hey." He heard a familiar voice call into the bathroom. "Can I join you?" He peered through the steam to see the shy visage of Lily.

"Sure." He smiled. "Come on in."

"Thanks Pete." She sighed. Lily had grown quiet since he had returned. Ever since that night that he had missed that sleepover she rarely caught his sight. She was always so beautiful. She shrugged off her pink nightie and stepped into the baths quickly.

"Sure. Been awhile huh?" He smirked. Lily didn't dare get closer. She just remained at the other edge of the baths.

"Yeah." She muttered. "Sure has."

"How'd you know I was here?"

"You're always here this late." She laughed as she sunk further into water.

"Fair." He smirked. "How was your day?"

"Umm," She looked away as she hugged herself tightly.

"It's okay. I'll drop it."

"Thanks." Her voice was barely a whisper at this point. "How was yours?"

"Not bad," He shrugged. "I had maid training with Miss S. and then I had to practice makeup with Miss I."

"You seem so calm about it."

"It wasn't too bad. Just a stupid maid's uniform and some cleaning."

"I mean about everything." She spoke sadly. "Are you really content with this?"

"Hell no!" He scoffed. "I'm never okay with any of this, James. But have you ever slept in a fucking cage before? There was nothing! No pillows, no blankets, nothing. Those bi-"He bit his tongue as he swallowed his rage. "They raised the air conditioning in my room at night, so I was freezing. Not to mention my back was fucked up from laying on metal bars in a space where I had to curl up into a ball to fit. So no, James, I am not happy at all with that."

"Oh." Was all Lily added. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." Peter huffed as he narrowed his eyes. "Just don't assume I've given up."

"I never said that!" She hissed through clenched teeth. "But that's how it looks."

"Good." He growled. His frustration with her assumptions of his willpower was begun to get on his last few nerves. "That's what I want them to think. I need them to think I'm perfect."

"Why?"

"Why else?" He nearly shouted as he smacked the water at his side. "To get the fuck out." He whispered.

"Sure." She scoffed loudly at that.

"How about you?"

"What about me?"

"You given up, Lily?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." She crossed her arms and turned her nose up at him.

"Good."

"I'm just saying-"

"Well don't!" He hissed. He stood up from the baths as he glared at her. "Don't you fucking dare say anything else."

"So, how's it going to be when you're being fucked in the brothel in a month? What's your excuse then?"

"Fuck you." He growled.

"Seriously. You've given up."

"I HAVE NOT!" His voice echoed off the walls of the bathroom and directly back at him. Even his roar, his war-cry, his rage had been transformed. His anger sound more like a tantrum than fury. Where once his voice held a slight rumble and noise had become almost musical in quality. In truth, Peter Baker sounded like a girl than a man. A fact that was not lost on him. His aggression gave immediate way to sadness at his own emasculation. He slunk back down into the bathwater before swallowing the enormous lump in his throat.

"Peter."

"Lily, just go." He whimpered. "If you just want to make me upset then just go."

"I'm not trying to do that." She sighed sadly as she began to wade across the water to his side. "You know I want what's best for you. Best for us."

"I," He swallowed between words. He was short on breath and it took every single bit of his will not to burst into tears. "I know."

"You're my brother." She spoke placing both her hands on his shoulders.

"I know."

"And I'm yours."

"I know."

"So, don't let them win."

"I'm not trying." He gazed into her dull green eyes as he shook his head. "I'm not."

"I know." She smiled. "But I have to check up on you to make sure. The last thing we need is for you to break again. Cause if you do I swear I'll kill you." He laughed at that.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." She paused as she stepped away with a frown. "Seriously don't."

"I'm not stupid." He stood back up once again. "I know what to say."

"Good."

"I have to go Lily. I'm only allowed a half-hour of bathing."

"Yeah, I should probably actually wash up before I go to bed." She laughed lifting her arm pits and grimacing. "Oh! Yeah, I need to do that."

"Good night, Lily."

"Sweet dreams, Doll." She smiled.

With that, Peter quickly took his leave and returned quietly to his cage. Soon, he would be free. Soon, he would be back to cotton rather than iron.

Then he could start to strike back.

--

Two Weeks Later

Blackstone Manor Exterior

Swimming Pool

Summer Fun?

He tried so hard to fight against his instincts. He felt every urge to close up, to become guarded, and to show his supreme discomfort. He bit his bottom lip softly as he attempted to steady his mind. For Peter Baker, this experience was hell. For Doll, Blackstone's bitch, this wouldn't be too hard would it?

"Doll, what's up?"

He felt Miss K. lightly prod him in the shoulder from beside him. Though she crept like a shadow her visage was anything but. Clad in a gold bikini with an almost scale-like pattern, she radiated warmth and security with every gesture. Her pale ivory skin gave her an almost otherworldly glow. As if he was in the presence of a goddess rather than a woman. He plunged deep into those emerald orbs of hers. Though dark and foreboding he drank deep of her gaze and became truly intoxicated by her sheer beauty. Almost enough to forget why he had been so nervous in the first place.

"N-Nothing." He shook his head clear of her touch.

"Don't lie." Her lips curled into a smirk. "I can read you like a book. You're nervous about something."

"I am not!" He pouted. He couldn't stand how easily she read him. How easily Miss K. could infer every thought, feeling, or action conscious or otherwise. Months of practice in Miss P.'s demented studio had taught him to measure his gait, to slow his pace, to keep his body open and exposed. Peter still remembered the beatings he incurred when he would do something as simple as folding his arms. If he dug down deep enough, he was certain that his mind could still recall vivid echoes of the pain.

He tried his hardest to be both submissive and yet slightly mysterious. As she would've put it, "Everyone loves a bit of a story, but no one wants the book spoiled on the first page."

He focused his vision on the pool and what a vision it was. Perhaps, like all things here, he would've dreamt up such a scenario under the pretense of pleasure and excitement. But in reality, it was only short of a nightmare. The Misses or rather the owners were out in full force lounging on sets of pool chairs in comfort at the edge of the water. Each of them, beautiful in their own ways, almost modeling before him. Lips curled into smiles, laughter that filled the air, loud playful voices that called out to each other. Behind them, a wrought-iron fence curled around the edge of the deck separating him from simply sprinting into the emerald abyss and vanishing into the treeline.

Miss R.'s form surfaced quickly beside him brushing clumps of soaked brown hair out of her face. He had rarely seen her without some form of makeup. Her manic energy that usually surrounded her had faded into the background of the celebration and her eyes for the first time seemed clear and almost calm.

"You totally are." She laughed as she leaned on the edge of the pool and glanced up at the two of them. "First time in a bikini, Doll?"

"Yes." He barely spoke. He hated how he looked. Hated how easily his chest filled out the small top he was given. The snow-white bikini sat snugly on his form showing off every inch of the demented and poisoned form they had turned him into. He felt a deep sickness in his chest the longer he thought about it and fought the urge to start clawing at his skin again. He could only curse the small lumps of fat that coalesced under his flesh against his will. Anything else would've been far too dangerous.

A small flash of comforting fiction formed in his head. His white top stained red with blood as he held two twin lumps of fat in his hands. If only such an action would be that easy.

"It's not much different from lingerie, flower." Miss P. smiled as she floated by on what appeared to be an inflatable strawberry donut. She wore a bright pink swim suit with a keyhole opening over her chest shaped like a heart. "Does that help you?"

"Yes." He lied through his teeth. He watched her eyes sparkle as she recognized it. "But thank you, Miss P."

"Of course." She sighed as she leaned back and closed her eyes. "Anything for you my dear."

"Excuse me!" Miss R. turned to face her. "What's going on?"

"Excuse you?" Miss P. scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what you are suggesting."

"This 'flower' bullshit. Does Katelynn's name not work for you?"

"Doll is a suitable name. But all girls must bloom eventually, Roxanne. Flower is my little pet name. No disrespect intended."

"So, it's only a nickname?" He caught Miss P.'s gaze. She wasn't looking at Miss R. Instead, she was looking at him. Her soft pink lips curled into a smile as she eyed him up-and-down sparing no inch from her ocular investigation.

"Of course." She cooed. "What else would it be?"

"Don't you dare think of stealing my Dolly." Miss R. growled.

"I wouldn't dream!" Miss P. gasped laying a hand gently over her heart in shock. "You are her owner, Roxanne. I am just her simple teacher in all things feminine."

"Girls!" Miss K. spoke in a low growl. "No fighting."

"Apologizes, Katelynn. Now if you ladies will excuse me, I believe the sun is a bit nicer at the other end of the pool. Ta-ta!" She gave him a small wink as she kicked the water and drifted away.

"That bitch." Miss R. growled. "Does she think I'm blind?"

"Aren't you two friends?" Miss K. bent down to her level.

"Of course, we are! That's why I don't trust her."

"It takes a special sort not to trust your friends, Roxanne." Miss K. sighed. "There's no harm in letting her have her fun."

"I know." Miss R. pouted. "But you know, Penny is just so cute."

"She is."

"I think I like her." Miss R. nearly whispered. "I've never felt like that for a woman. I just feel sick and gross and dizzy and-"

"Roxanne, you never experimented as a kid?"

"No." Her eyes fell to the floor. "Never."

"No time like the present."

"I'm just scared, Kat. What if I ruin our friendship?"

"Oh please. Like she has any better options."

"Isn't she straight though?" Miss R.'s eyes twinkled with nervousness as the joy slowly drained from her face.

"Let's be real here, Roxy. Are any of us truly straight?" Miss K. laughed.

"I guess."

"I'll be there to help ya. Don't worry."

"Thanks Kit-Kat."

"My pleasure." Miss K. cooed with a warm smile.

"Did you feel this way with Elle?"

"I was a mess around her. My god, the first time I ever looked into those ocean-blue eyes of her and I forgot my own name and her hair, Roxy, her hair! It always smells like spring. She's so warm and happy and bubbly. She's more than happy to just lie on your lap and give you these eyes like you're the only thing on her mind." He had never seen Miss K. like this. Almost red-in-the-face and giddy like a schoolgirl. Her entire demeanor shifted as her regal look faded into this nervous mush that could barely string together a coherent thought.

"Okay, Kat." Miss R. laughed as she pushed away from the edge. "I get it. You're gay for her."

"Oh, so gay!" Miss K. giggled. "Anyway, go ask Penelope out."

"Fine!" She called back. "You bitch."

Peter couldn't help but roll his eyes at the seemingly innocent drama playing out before him. But he did remember Miss E. In his months here, he had only seen her once and only once. On the day that he first arrived in the ballroom. He remembered her kindness, her soft way of speaking, and her accent that reeked of wealth. It was far different than Miss A.'s. Miss A.'s voice was so assured, so relaxed, and so full of it. But Miss E.'s voice wavered. It cared for the little details and the little people. He could only assume that she was nowhere in the same realm as Amanda Stone's wealth.

But it was always good to know that Miss K. had a love of her own. Even better to know that the Misses had their own issues and weaknesses. The thought of Miss P. and R. together brought true fear into his heart. They were both utter monsters but in different capacities. Peter hoped he would never see the day in which that came into fruition.

"Doll?" Miss K.'s sweet voice cut through his thoughts. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" He chirped quickly. "I just zoned out a little."

"I noticed." She chuckled.

"Kitty!" Someone shouted from the other side of the pool. A Miss with brilliant strawberry blonde hair was waving her over. She had pale skin the color of porcelain and hid herself from the sun's brutal rays with a light lilac sun hat. The wide brim cast an imposing shadow over her face that couldn't help but give him chills. She sat with her legs crossed and her long slender fingers cradled a bright blue drink in a clear glass complete with a yellow umbrella and straw. She raised the glass to her wine-colored lips and took a long sip from the straw.

"Di, what do you want?" Miss K. sighed as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Come sit with us!" She called as the other Misses called out their own invitations.

"Come on, Doll. Let's at least show our faces before we take a dip." She motioned him to follow and he couldn't deny her order as much as he wanted to. Each step felt like he was stepping on molten rock and his body trembled as he got closer and closer. He swallowed his pride while he stayed at her side. He could feel their hate. He could feel their lust. The Misses eyed him with curiosity and malice. Enough that it made his skin crawl.

"What a lovely outfit, Doll." The Miss known as Diana spoke.

"Thank you, Miss D." He bowed his head.

"Barely anything to hide down there, is there?" She sneered. He crossed his legs as he nodded.

"Yes." His cheeks burned.

"My, how could you ever hope to please a woman before you arrived here." She laughed.

"Now, let's be nice." Miss T. spoke leaning up from her chair. "I'm sure Doll could please all of us here. Couldn't you sweetheart?"

"I," He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't know."

"Please, Tara." Miss D. scoffed. "The only thing the little tramp can do is suck cock."

"Di, I would like you to stop teasing my Doll." Miss K. narrowed her eyes at her. "Now."

"Sorry!" She rolled her eyes. "I didn't know you to be such a protective momma cat."

"Care for a drink, Kat?" Another Miss spoke. "Ivy and Petal are such darling little waitresses today." The group couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm fine. I don't drink around the girls."

"Like anyone cares." Another spat. She had brown hair and cold hazel eyes. He hadn't noticed her before as if she had just randomly popped up.

"The Stones do." Miss T. smiled with a shrewd look in her eyes. He felt truly uncomfortable in their presence.

"My mother and sister would yes."

"Well they're not here." The Miss rolled her eyes. "So, I don't care."