The Rules I Use for Writing

This is the advice I wish I had received when I started writing erotic stories. It's not universal, but if you're a beginning writer I believe you will do better to keep these tips in mind.

-Sex Should Show Character-

A good sex scene is more than just a sex act described. Aside from being pleasurable to imagine, it also incorporates characters' personalities and relationship, and it even helps to define them a little.

In Gladiatrix, by Brianna_Tease, the titular protagonist wins a gladiatrix match and is rewarded with a massage given by her choice out of nine men. When the masseur offers to please her more intimately, she is hesitant at first. Then she grows comfortable with having a soft-handed hunk of a man all to herself, and eventually she orders him to bring her to multiple orgasms. This sex scene is more than just sex. It shows the gladiatrix getting accustomed to sex as a reward, getting over her shyness and also learning the perks of her new lifestyle.

Whenever I write sex scenes, I make sure that the characters' words, body language and even their choice of sex acts reflect their relationship. In my story Her Finest Steal, when a female thief manages to tie down an adventurer-prince and get the key to his chastity cage, she doesn't immediately have sex with him. She pauses to brag about how she outsmarted the prince, she gushes about how pretty and valuable he is, then finally rides him with no foreplay. That way, the scene is more than just sex. It's also a scene where a thief congratulates herself for her latest steal, and it shows that she's bowled over by what she's achieved. Her behavior makes the scene distinct.

-Sex Should Advance the Plot-

An erotic story is a kind of romance story, and in any romance story the characters and their feelings drive the plot. And since sex is often an expression of romantic feeling, it should coincide with turning points in the plot or, better yet, drive the plot.

For example, in the first chapter of Taiyakisoba's story Monsterboy Quest, the main character, a retired knightess on a quest from her cloister, revels in the freedom of trekking through the wilds, and when a monster boy deals her a glancing blow with his aphrodisiac venom, she pins him down and ravishes him with suspicious verve. Not only is it a fun scene to read, it's also a clear sign that the knightess was a poor fit for monastic life and her wanderlust—and regular lust—are still potent.

In reality, of course, people have sex even when it doesn't represent a turning point in their character arcs. But in a story, sexual encounters like that should happen offscreen, because they don't contribute to the plot or characterization.

-Outline The Whole Story, Then Write the Important Parts First-

This is the most important lesson I've learned.

It's most intuitive to start writing story at the beginning, write everything in order and write the ending last. But I find that it's better to write the scenes you're most excited about first, then write the connective tissue between them. That way, you'll get your best scenes out before inspiration fades, and you'll have a better sense of what the remaining scenes should look like. This makes editing easier.

For example, in my story A Symbolic Message, I wrote character bios first, then a general plot, then I wrote some exchanges between the two main characters just to get a feel for how they would play off each other. A lot of this dialogue didn't make the final cut. Next, I wrote a plot synopsis that explained what happened in each scene and why it was important. The first draft of the synopsis looked something like this:

Opening lines to set the tone.

Mel gets off a plane. Establish that he's new in this setting and he's disgusted by the poverty he sees.

He meets the female lead. They form a team. Establish him as brash and easily offended. Establish her as annoyed with him, but patient with him.

They go to the nightclub. He whores himself out. She gets information.

And so on. I went through the skeleton a few times, touching things up, adding details and character beats and writing down what the themes of the story were. Then, and only then, I started writing scenes in full prose. I started with the climactic sex scene, then the scene where the two leads meet, then the opening scene. If I had written the scenes in chronological order, the work would have been slower, more confusing and less engaging.

There's another advantage to writing scenes out of order: whenever I got a kinky idea, I would find a place where I could write it into the story and use it to make the world feel more real. For example, the story was already mostly finished when I came up with the scene where a woman takes her blindfolded boyfriend to be transformed into a monster boy, with him none the wiser. I used that scene to show how, in a world that doesn't value male autonomy, even kind-hearted women will take away men's free will. If I hadn't written a plot synopsis first, I wouldn't have known where to put that scene.

By writing your story in whatever order is easiest, you make the project quicker and more fun. And by starting with a scene-by-scene plot synopsis, you make it easier to make changes and stay on track. The final product will come out more fully realized.

-Examine Your Characters and Ask 'Why'-

If you want a character to feel grounded and coherent, you need to look at every action she takes and ask, 'Why is she doing this?' Here's an example.

Maryanka doesn't like it when her sister smokes. Why? Because she thinks people shouldn't smoke. Why? Because smoking is bad for you. Why does she care what someone else does with her own body? Because Maryanka cares about other people's health, even at the expense of instant gratification. Why? Because other people's lives matter to her.

In the above example, I took something completely mundane—a woman who doesn't like smoking—and connected it to her sense of compassion and her valuing of human health. When building a character, you can start with core values (she feels compassion for others and values human health) and decide what action she takes based on those values (she dislikes smoking). I find it's easier to go the other way. I start by asking myself, 'what does the plot demand this character do?' and then, 'What set of proclivities and values would lead her to do these things?' and I build out her personality and backstory from there. If the plot demands that she do things no consistent human would do, I change the plot.

Whichever approach you take, you'll find it easier to decide what a character will do in a given situation if you are in touch with the core tenets of her personality.

-Examine Your Setting and Ask 'Why'-

The same way a character's actions need to tie into her nature and her deepest convictions, keep in mind that entire societies are products of their history and foundational ideas. Here's an example:

In my home state of Colorado, people drive cars even in densely populated places, and public transport is thinly spread. Why? Because Coloradans prefer cars to busses. Why? Because Coloradans are more comfortable controlling the vehicle they're riding in. Why? Because the state has a highly individualistic culture. Why? Because it was settled by pioneers who considered themselves independent, did not rely on infrastructure and grew their own food, and more recent migrants have picked up that ethos to some extent. Why was the place settled by pioneers and not feudal-style lords or big corporations? Because the Homestead Act determined that the western plains would be settled by individual families. Why? Because in American culture frowns on property that isn't earned through one's own labor. Why? Because the people who settled America from Europe were steeped in the philosophy of John Locke and other 18th-century enlightenment philosophers who emphasized self-ownership.

I don't always take my own advice, but when I do, I get a distinct yet consistent world. This is especially important for matriarchal settings. It's common for a writer to give a matriarchal setting no defining features except the fact that it's matriarchal. This is a mistake, because societies are defined by many things, and which sex is dominant is only one of those factors. Speaking of which...

-Write Matriarchies That Make Sense-

This is especially significant to me, since I write and enjoy stories of female domination, and also because many matriarchal settings I read are unrealistic.

The easiest way to write a matriarchy is to take a patriarchal society, flip the roles and exaggerate them. Settings written this way feel shallow and aren't true to human nature. They ignore the fact that, no matter how humans organize themselves, there are a few differences between men and women that stay the same, such as:

Women can bear children and men can't. When society is hard-pressed to produce more children, women are more valuable than men.

Only Women can breastfeed babies.

A man can pass on his genes by impregnating women, then abandoning them, but women can't pass on their genes without investing time and effort into it.

Men are physically stronger but naturally die younger.

There are also psychological differences between men and women. Although every individual is different, there are some psychological traits that the average man and the average woman exhibit to very different degrees. 'The Truth About Sex Differences' by Psychology Today, provides good examples of this. According to that article, females more often exhibit conformity, verbal ability, empathy, depression and preference for social status in a mate, and more males show impulsivity, risk-taking, physical aggression and task-oriented leadership. Crucially, we know these differences are not products of social conditioning, because they crop up even in completely egalitarian societies. That means these differences would still be present in a matriarchy.

In conclusion, women rule men differently than men rule women, so when you write a matriarchal society, do your research and think carefully about exactly what shape it would take.

Those are the most important things I've learned while writing. I hope you find it helpful.