The Sara Chronicles

It was driving me nuts. This is a woman who is intelligent enough to hold a coherent conversation about ramifications of Obamacare on medical instrument purchasing budgets for a local senior adult assisted living center. While at the same time she's making puns about erections that would make a junior high boy giggle like an elementary school girl. One minute she was comparing grant requirements to currently verified inventory lists and the next she's twirling her hair between her fingers with a pencil like an innocent teenager. And each step of the way, I was falling for her. God, do I even realize the ramifications of that?

Returning to the Pittsburgh area, the days passed quickly. The bulk of our time was spent at our small office south of Canonsburg PA. We didn't have to wade past the other office staff of the downtown office and we didn't have to work around piles of materials left by coworkers. This office was a building Dan had owned from earlier business; before the buyout. Buying the building as well as his business was a part of the buyout contract. We actually used this building for a while until it became seriously over crowded. But they let me keep a few things there and use it for team meetings and archiving of prior projects.

Sara was only in for a few of those days, working on odd jobs at the main office most of the time and coming to our office only when not needed. But during that time Dan saw her at work and began to see just how capable she was. He emailed me once when her particularly good work ethic showed through. While he was thanking me for training her well, I couldn't help but realize it was more about her innate ability than it was my work with her.

No matter how I was feeling about her, it was clear that her skills and aggressive confidence would make her a success. But that's the catch; the never ending circle that I was trapped in. The more she displayed her innate ability as a self assured, competent woman, the more I was having feelings for her. And the more she sensed my trust in her, the more she became self assured and competent. This whole thing was moving out of control.

We loaded up for a rather long week in Lafayette, Indiana. Unlike our previous trips, this would require an extended stay. So we loaded up on a Sunday afternoon and drove to where we would spend the next five nights. Again Sara, feeling much more a full fledged member of the team, took the front passenger seat. Two additional team members were with us; Pete and his joyful curmudgeonly self, and Ed, an extremely capable but older accountant. Little did I know on the long drive across Ohio and into Indiana, that this trip would completely screw up the rest of my life.

Everyone was tired and grumpy after our long drive so we all just grabbed our room keys at the registration desk and headed for our rooms. The next morning, after a great night's sleep and feeling much more human, I headed down to the dining area for the freebie breakfast. Sitting in the corner drinking the stuff they were trying to pass off as coffee, Sara came through the breakfast line, then joined me.

The news was playing in the background. TVs were tuned in to Fox News with the announcement of Amy Winehouse's death. Sara seemed to be interested in it. "Isn't it just a tragedy?" She asked as she sat down next to me.

"Who?" I asked. Yeah, there's a generation gap between us that often was painfully obvious. But at the same time it could be the source of great humor. Like the night I tried to explain the rerun of an old ALF episode that was playing on Nick at Night.

We ate our starchy waffles and chatted for a while about stuff; the hotel rooms, the weather that was going to be much hotter today, the accent of the locals, and how we get so sick of the routine hotel breakfasts.

And then she repositioned herself on her chair. In typical Sara style, she folded one leg under her and was now turned slightly to look directly at me. Bluntly and directly... and almost a little too loudly for a public setting.... she came out with it. "Why is it that you still haven't said anything about what happened in Richmond?"

"What?" I asked, in a much quieter tone, hoping she'd take the hint.

"About when you kissed me." she said.

I almost choked as she asked. "What? We're having this conversation here?"

She had softened her voice, but it was still a little loud for the setting. "Well, I guess if it's not here, it will never happen. You're acting like you don't want to talk to me now." Nobody around us heard; still there was that sense that the whole world would find out about this. And the sense that if they did, I'd be seen as some kind of pervert who was taking advantage of a sweet, young lady.

I was about to respond to the issue when the way she had phrased the question just dawned on me. "Wait a second... when 'I' kissed 'You'? Did I miss something?" Was I only remembering Richmond the way I perceived it or was she being coy?

"Well, yeah. You gave me a great massage. We headed to the door to say good night. Then you kissed me." She stated calmly.

"As I recall, and for the record, YOU kissed ME", I stated in a now whisper, arguing my case. For the next five minutes we bickered like quarreling teenagers over who started it. Was my offer of the massage the initiation of intimacy or was it her grabbing the back of my neck and kissing me the beginning? I truly couldn't tell.... and to this day, still don't know.... Maybe the truth is that I did start this. But what did it matter? It was started.

As our banter continued, we noticed Pete walking toward us. "Gonna be a hot day in Indiana" he griped as he sat down at the table with us. His tray clanked down on the table with all the grace that is Pete. He stepped over to a nearby table to grab salt and pepper.

"We'll talk about this later" I said, directed at Sara and somewhat under my breath. "Mornin' Pete."

Within a moment, Ed also made is way to our table with only coffee. "Not eating today?" I inquired.

"No, I ate an hour ago", Ed replied. "My body is still on Eastern Time Zone." And so began another normal breakfast at the hotel.

Later that night our little discussion at breakfast was a distant memory. I was trying not to think about it. Every time I did, I realized how attracted to Sara I had become. So I dealt with this the way I've dealt with every other romantic relationship challenge I've had. I just tried to ignore it and hope it would go away.

We had dinner at South Street Smoke House, not far from where we had been working that day. The whole team had a very normal, typical meal together. Then we headed home. As we arrived back at the hotel, Sara got out of the Jeep quickly and headed in. It seemed a little odd since she had recently begun to accept the fact that I'm a dinosaur who comes around to open the door for her. Now, she'd hesitate getting out and take pleasure in my old school traits. But for some reason she moved rapidly, not waiting for the guys to follow. It worried me that maybe she was upset with our breakfast conversation. She seemed okay through the day, but now as we approached the end of the day, something was wrong.

I made the polite conversation with Ed and Pete as they went their separate ways. The hotel staff normally spread a working group out on different floors, giving them some room for privacy. So it wasn't unusual to see us head different directions. I made my way to my room. It seemed quiet, dark, and a bit lonely.

Rather than sit and idly watch sitcoms on TV, I decided to take a shower and try to relax. I'm more the "morning shower" kinda guy, but if I can't sleep or need to unwind, I find a hot shower relaxing. So as the water was running, getting to the right temperature, I shed my clothes. I threw my uptight, blue pinstripe, dress shirt on the counter next to the sink. Steam began to fill the room as I stepped into the bedroom to hang up my pants. The closet door squeaked shut, it's full length mirror letting me see just how old my body was getting. I threw my underwear and socks into the plastic bag I bring for dirty clothes and went back to the bathroom.

The steam seemed to both clear my mind and relax me. But it also added to my frustrations. It reminded me of the mornings my wife would head off to work without saying good bye. It reminded me that I was utterly alone. The silence was depressing. I dried myself off and began combing though my hair for some unknown reason. I'd just shower again in the morning and get ready for the day. So if I'm not going anywhere what's it matter. But it's a routine.

That's when there was a knock on my door. I looked through the peep hole to see who it was. There stood Sara, in her pajama pants and tee shirt. I quickly threw on a pair of columbia hiking pants I had in the closet and tossed a tee shirt over me before rushing back to the door. As I pulled the door open, she had already turned and was starting to leave.

"I thought you might not want to see me tonight", she mumbled softly.

"What do you mean by that? Of course it's okay, come in." I offered.

She stepped in the door to my room and as the door closed she threw her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. She was abnormally emotional. A trait I'd never seen from her. I put my arms around her. "Hey, hey hey.... what's wrong hon?" I asked.

"I just got off the phone with my father. He just pisses me off so much, I can't stand it." she said through her tears. I knew from across the weeks that nothing could set her off more than having a phone conversation with her father. But in other confrontations she came away angry and belligerent; not emotional or tearful.

The embrace ended and she jumped up into my bed as if it was her own room. But with the intimacy we had shared over the past few months, it didn't seem overly forward. She grabbed a pillow from the bed, tugging it around to lay in front of her. Sitting upright with her legs crossed, she placed the pillow in her lap and seemed to just crumble. I sat on the edge of the bed, slightly behind her, and massaged her shoulders to comfort her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked out of concern.

"No." she quickly replied. Yet for the next hour she did talk about it, pouring out her emotions. Maybe being stuck traveling in an 'all guy' team for so long, she hadn't had a chance to express her feelings. Talking to Pete sure doesn't lend oneself to "sharing".

An hour later, she seemed to be much more relaxed again. She had made herself very much at home in my bed. She even had munched her way to the bottom of the Dave and Berry's box of snacks that I had brought with me. Through the course of our conversation she had moved from various positions and now was completely under the covers of the bed, propped up against the headboard with every available pillow in the room.

"It's getting late." she whispered somewhat through groggy eyes.

"That's okay" I replied. Inwardly, I didn't want the intimacy of this conversation to end. Or maybe it was that I was just so lonely that I enjoyed having any conversation. "Just rest a while" I offered. She seemed so relaxed and as moments passed and I couldn't tell if the quietness was a deeper intimacy or if she was just comfortable enough with me that she could let go.

Thinking she may have drifted off to sleep, I got up and pulled a blanket off the top of shelf of the closet. Turning off all the lights except the dimmer of the two lights in the bathroom, I made my way to the large easy chair in the room and pulled the ottoman up close. I was preparing a place to settle in for the night when she whispered to me, "You don't have to sleep over there." I stood upright, somewhat taken off guard; first by the fact that she was still awake and then by her statement.

As I turned to look to her, she pulled the covers back, invitingly. Her gaze was fixed on my eyes, almost as if to see what my reaction would be. But by now it's clear how an aggressive woman is such a turn on to me. The fact that she was inviting me into bed with her was the most erotic thought I could ever have entertained.

I'm not the most desirable guy in the world. To be honest, that's something that I've come to terms with. In other words, don't worry... I'm aware of it. I'd probably be described as the guy next door who mows the lawn on the weekend, but you don't really notice or think about. At the same time, as attractive as Sara is to me, she's no runway model. Yet she's just one of the sweetest most caring and lovely young women I've ever known. She comes with the baggage of her own quarks and short comings. But now the thought of being invited into bed with a woman half my age was raging through my brain.

I stepped toward the edge of the bed and started to get in. She grinned and asked, "so you're going to wear hiking pants to bed?"

"Well.." I hesitated. I still didn't know where this was going so I assumed we were just going to 'sleep' together like we had done before. "When you knocked on the door, I had just finished taking a shower. I just threw these on quickly." I sheepishly shared. "I'm not wearing anything under these pants" I whispered in embarrassment.

She let out a mild laugh and rolled her head to bury her face in the pillow, hiding the laugher. Yes, even her laugh brings me joy. But as the laugh subsided, she raised the blanket again to invite me in. "That's fine." she said.

I started to get into the bed, thinking she meant that it was fine to leave them on. "No, it's fine that you're not wearing anything under those. You can take them off." This time, instead of laughing, she looked me in the eye. There was a long moment of decision. An awkward moment when I realized that my vivid sexual imagination of Sara was suddenly more than just something to roll around in my brain as a personal little fantasy.

I stood at the edge of the bed, still frozen. Should I cross this line? Would it destroy our friendship? And again she raised the blanket for me to join her. I unbuckled the clasp that held my pants and let the loose fitting, light weight pants drop around my ankles. This time it was me, looking to her eyes, looking for approval. The insecurity of someone my age standing naked in front of a woman this young was nearly petrifying. Stepping out of them, I slid into the warmth spot in the bed she had created over the previous hour of talking.

As my head fell on the pillows that were propped up from her many earlier positions. I could feel her arms search under the covers to surround my waist as her head fell against my chest. I was laying flat on my back, looking at the ceiling, asking myself if this was really happening. And while searching for that answer, I felt her leg slide over mine - her knee now positioned between my legs with the warmth of her thigh now pressing against my groin.

Sara's head was buried up high on my chest. Her breasts were pressed firmly against my ribs, almost parted, conforming to my body so that my ribs could feel the warm and lush center of her chest. As we both were experiencing the warmth that we both seemed to need this night, I began caressing her hair. Running my fingers through the length of her hair. She looked up at me and without comment, we began to kiss. Like teenagers in the back of a van after a Saturday night dance, we kissed. Passionately yet with an almost inept awkwardness. The uncertainty of where this was going kept playing in our minds. Still, we really didn't care at this moment.

Sara's aggressive nature took over. She climbed up over top of me, still in her teeshirt and pajama pants. She straddled my hips, my now erect penis tucked between her legs, feeling the warmth of her body. She grabbed her teeshirt at the waistband and in one fluid motion, pulled it from her hips and up over her head. Tugging on the now limp shirt, she released the remainder of her flowing, brown hair still trapped inside. She tossed the teeshirt to the side and on to the chair. The glow of the light from the bathroom offered me a beautiful silhouette of her hovering over me.

I couldn't help myself any longer as both of my hands reached for her hips and slid up the side of her torso. She put her hands over mine, gripping my thumbs to lead my hands upward. Soon they reached her breasts. I had imagined what they looked like on the night I had given her a massage. Since caressing her back and shoulders, my dreams were filled with the hope of this moment. And I could feel her lean into my hands as they cupped her gorgeous breasts.

The warm flesh drove me crazy. I held on as she pressed her body downward, letting the weight of her body press her breasts into my hands. A relaxed smile came over her as she fell into my hands. Her breasts were somewhat small yet round and full. I've always been attracted to women with small breasts, and hers were simply perfect.

Her nipples were small and firm with very small areola. They begin to respond to the touch as I could feel her hips begin to arch. She began gently grinding her pelvis along the side of my now fully erect penis. The sensation of the seam of her pajama pants at times was harsh against my bare erection. It was all but a barrier between us, guarding us from doing anything we would regret. But I didn't care. The movement, the warmth, the feeling of her legs against my hips as she sat on my lap, grinding her body against my penis was so desired that nothing mattered.

I let my left hand drift around her body. It found its place in the small of her back, gently pressing her hips down into mine. I slid my hand inside the waistband of her pajama pants, past the thin material of her panties. The silky feeling of her ass in my hand was tantalizing.

After several minutes of this glorious feeling, her pace steadied and her body was tensing up. She continued to grind her pelvis into me but now at a much faster pace. Her whole body locked up tight and shook with anticipation. Suddenly she came. She had an orgasm right there without penetration. She shuttered as her whole body changed temperature and she fell forward into my arms. My hands now reaching around her, one finding her bear back and the other still tucked in the back waistline of her pajama pants.

It was amazing to feel her slump into my arms and drape herself over me, spent by the moment. "God, I needed that" she uttered in a barely audible voice. Her head now side by side with mine in our embrace. I gently kissed and nibbled at her ear, rubbing the small of her back, letting her bask in the remnant of her climax. Her hips still gently moving, she slowly returned to normal breathing. I brushed the hair back, giving me access to her ear and neck. Kissing, caressing, and just adoring this beautiful woman. She shyly grinned at me covering her eyes with her hand.

After a moment to catch her breath, she rolled off me and stretched with her arms above her. "What is it you need?" she slyly whispered, looking me directly in the eye. And with that she shoved her thumbs in the waistband of her pajamas, taking them and her panties off in one motion. She threw them at the chair next to the bed and sprawled back to receive me.

As I looked over at her, for a brief moment I hesitated. Caught speechless at the sight of her laying completely naked next to me. I drank in the sight, the feelings, the odd connection we seemed to have. But Sara took it differently. A confused expression came across her face and she sheepishly tugged the sheets over her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You stopped. You think I'm hideous." She whispered, somewhat despondent. She reflexively grabbed at the blankets to pull them up over her naked body. Suddenly the confident, self-assured Sara was vulnerable.

"No... no. NO? I don't want this moment to end." I said as I gently pulled the sheet away from her again. "You're simply gorgeous."