The Secret

I've got a secret. Not a big, earth-shattering secret. If it were to ever come out, governments wouldn't collapse, monetary systems would still be stable, the sun would still rise. But it's a secret nonetheless.

To understand my story, you'd probably need to know a bit about me. I'm 41. I have a beautiful wife and two active young sons. My computer consulting business has been successful beyond my wildest dreams. We have a big, comfortable house in the suburbs, a Golden Retriever, a mini-van and my SUV. We attend church regularly, take 2 vacations a year, and head into Manhattan several times a month for an evening out. With all this going for me, why, you may ask, do I have anything to hide?

Mostly it has to do with Andrea. She is the perfect wife. Literally. She's 31, with clear blue eyes and honey-blonde hair that she has touched up every few weeks. She works out for two hours every morning, and has the best tits money could buy. Even after 2 pregnancies, she doesn't have an ounce of body fat. She's a fiend about her diet (and mine too, for that matter), never allowing fried food or sugar to pass her lips. Whenever she attends business functions with me, every head in the room turns in her direction. She is the wife everyone expects me to have.

Don't get me wrong. She's a terrific person and I do love her. We have a good life together. We even manage to have sex two to three times a week when I'm not away on business. But she doesn't turn me on. At least, not the way Lauren does. Who is Lauren? She's the woman I should have married. Lauren is my secret.

We first met twenty years ago in college. We were the only two people left relatively sober after my fraternity's "Winter Wonderland" beer bash. I was on keg duty, and didn't really get to drink too much. Lauren didn't like beer, so she'd brought her own wine coolers. Somehow, we'd ended up talking together on the porch of the frat house long after everyone else was passed out or having a drunken fuck-fest in one of the bedrooms.

We talked about so many things. We were both Northerners, and found winter in Florida to be strange. We talked about music and books. She was a Computer Science major, like me. She came from a modest background, like me. Our birthdays were two weeks apart; mine in July, hers in August. We both had part-time jobs off campus. She was a Junior. I was a Senior.

She was bright and articulate and funny. It seemed so natural when I finally kissed her. She let me slide my hand under her shirt to feel her mammoth tits straining against the satin of her bra. I got so hard so fast that I would have fucked her right there on the porch swing if she had let me. But she hadn't. She'd pushed me gently away and said with a knowing smile "There's time for that." And she was right.

We met as much as we could over the next few weeks. Sometimes we'd study together. Sometimes we'd grab a cup of coffee and just talk. Sometimes we'd do more than just talk. We'd lie in my bed in various states of undress. We'd kiss and caress. I finally got past the satin to experience those breasts. They were huge and full and soft. I'd let my tongue coax the nipples out, then suck them as if something might actually come out. Lauren would moan and whimper and I'd try to slip my hand down her panties, but she'd always stop me. "There's time for that."

Finally, one day in February, I was walking to class when I heard someone call my name. I turned to find Lauren waving at me and heading my way. "Dan, hi," she said when she finally caught up.

"Hey, Lauren. What's up?"

"I have a little something for you," she said. She slipped a small white envelope out of her Calculus book and handed it to me. "Open it in private," she said, eyeing my fraternity brother, Steve.

I felt like such an idiot. It was Valentine's Day. "I'm sorry," I said, sheepishly. "I don't have anything for you."

"That's okay," she replied with a sly grin. "You will. I've gotta run. I'll see you later." It was a statement, not a question. It was almost an order. It made me smile.

"Sure. See you later."

"So Dan the Man's a chubby-chaser?" Steve said when Lauren was out of earshot.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"What do I mean? You know, you like the meaty ones."

"Meaty?"

"Come on, Danny Boy. I'm trying to be polite. She's not exactly slim and trim."

"You think Lauren's fat?"

"Not exactly fat, but she is pushing maximum density."

I turned to look at Lauren as she was walking away from me. Her hips were full, her bottom round. Her thighs were on the thick side. I knew first hand she had a few small rolls here and there. But none of it had ever bothered me. And as I watched her bottom swaying slightly as she walked, I started to feel that familiar sensation in my groin. I turned and started walking while I still could.

Steve caught up with me and said "Hey, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. It's just surprising, you know. That girl is just so different from Sandy, you know what I mean?"

I did know what he meant. Sandy was my ex. She was blonde and fit and was captain of both the women's tennis and swim teams. She was also a snotty, snobbish bitch. I'd finally broken up with her after she made fun of my parents' home and the fact that my father was a mailman. Lauren was different from Sandy in every way.

" 'That Girl' has a name, and it's Lauren." I grabbed the door to the computer lab and jerked it open. "I'll see you later, Steve."

"Dan..." Steve began, but the door just shut in his face.

I sat down at a computer terminal and pulled out the envelope Lauren had given me. There were lipstick marks at the seal. I smiled as I opened it. It was a simple Valentine's Day card with a big pair of lips on the front. Inside the printed message said "A Big Valentine's Kiss Just For You." Underneath it Lauren had written "It's Time. L." There was a business card from a motel close to campus. I turned it over and saw Lauren's handwriting. "6 o'clock. Room 18." I slipped the card back into my notebook. I would be there.

At the appointed hour I stood nervously in front of room 18. I knocked lightly. There was no answer. I checked the back of the card. Room 18. This was the right room. I knocked again, this time loudly. I heard footsteps coming towards the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Dan."

The door opened and there stood Lauren, wearing only a large black t-shirt. "Come on in. Did you knock before? I thought I heard something, but I was running the bath."

"Yeah, I did. I thought for a moment I was in the wrong place."

"Believe me, Dan," Lauren said shutting the door. "You're in the right place."

I looked around the room. It was a standard double room, clean, nice but nothing fancy. "How are you paying for this?" I asked.

"I pulled a couple of double shifts at work. I didn't want our first time together to be in my dorm or your frat room. I wanted some privacy."

"That's really sweet of you. Oh, and speaking of sweet, these are for you." I handed her the heart-shaped box of chocolates I'd brought.

Her face lit up. "Oh, Danny, that's so nice. You really didn't have to."

It was oddly moving. She was obviously a girl who wasn't used to getting presents. "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."

She took the box and studied it. Then she put it on the table, and came close to me. She reached up and slipped her hand behind my head drawing me to her. Her lips were soft. Her mouth opened to welcome my tongue. I put my arms around her and ran my hands down her back to her bottom, then up again. Yes, there were rolls, but they didn?t put me off. I slid my hands under the shirt. She was wearing silky panties. I drew my hands up and over them, up to the flesh of her back. I kneaded and caressed her, as she drew my tongue into her mouth again and again.

I kept one arm around her and moved my other hand around the front of her. I felt the slight swell of her belly under the silk. I slid my hand over the front of her panties, my fingers tracing the outline of her mons. She pulled away and gasped slightly. Her cheeks were flushed. I took a step back.

"I want to see you," I said.

"Do you?" she asked, earnestly.

"Yes," I answered firmly. "I do."

Without saying another word, Lauren grasped the edges of the t-shirt, and pulled it over her head in one swift move. Her large brown eyes studied me as I studied her. She stood there in a matching bra and panty set, black with little red hearts all over. Her breasts almost overflowed the cups of the bra. Her belly swelled out slightly. Her thighs touched. She was definitely chunky. But all I could think about was being inside her. How those thighs would part and welcome my mouth, my hands, my dick. I wanted her on her back, on her hands and knees. I wanted those tits in my face as she rode me. I was rock hard.

A smile played on her lips as she noticed the bulge in my jeans. She moved closer to me, tugged at my zipper, and slid her hand down into my tighty-whities to grab hold of me. Her mouth found mine again and she sucked my tongue to the same rhythm she used to stroke my dick. I ran my hands down her back and into the silk of her panties. My hands caressed her ass, pulled the cheeks apart, kneaded them. I felt her shiver. I pulled back away from her, and kicked off my jeans. I quickly yanked my shirt over my head and tossed my socks into a corner.

I stood there in my briefs for a moment. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked her.

"Yes," she answered quietly. "I'm sure."

"Good," I said as I quickly came towards her. I caught her off guard as I pushed her down onto the bed. I nibbled her nipple through the satiny bra. "I want this off," I told her.

"Then you'll have to take it off," she replied, meeting my gaze. I blinked first. Lauren laughed as I struggled to unhook her bra.

"Damn it, what is this thing, stapled shut?" I asked in exasperation.

Lauren giggled, then reached around and with one hand quickly undid the hooks. The bra popped loose, and I grabbed it and tossed it aside. Her breasts were finally free, and they separated, resting to the sides as she turned on her back. I gathered them in my hands and licked her nipples, one at a time. I began sucking on them, teasing them until they were hard and I heard Lauren's familiar moan. I ran my hand down to her panties and this time, there was no objection when I slipped inside.

I kept my mouth on her breast as my fingers explored her. I slipped through the soft curls to find her damp. I dipped my middle finger into the warmth of her opening, then gently drew it up to tease her clit. Lauren whimpered slightly, so I did it again. She moaned softly. Leaving her breast, I eased her panties down and dropped them on the floor. She was completely naked. My hand went back between her legs and began to work her again. I slipped two fingers in her, and stroked her clit with my thumb. Her moans got stronger and she began to writhe. I was so turned on I wanted to slip my dick in her right then and there. I wanted to fuck her hard and strong until her moans turned into screams. But I didn't want this to be over in five minutes.

I removed my hand, and Lauren closed her legs and rolled on her side. The sight of her round ass was almost more than I could take. I closed my eyes and pictured her on her stomach, imagined myself pulling those cheeks apart and sliding into that perfect little hole. I imagined her firm flesh meeting mine as I pumped her. When I opened my eyes, Lauren was standing next to the table slipping the ribbon off the box of chocolate.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You'll see."

She carefully picked out a bon bon and popped it into her mouth. She didn't chew. She was letting it melt. She climbed back next to me on the bed and before I knew what was happening, she'd pulled off my briefs and my dick was in her mouth. She skillfully moved her head up and down, and I could see the chocolate coating my shaft. It was warm and sticky. Lauren's tongue explored the tip of my cock, probing the hole until I thought I would cum right then. She licked and sucked until the chocolate was gone. I could barely move. I was almost too hard.

"Bring me the box," I told her.

"What?"

"Bring me the box," I repeated.

Lauren got up and brought me the open box of chocolate. I propped myself on my elbow, and selected a solid disc.

"Lie on your back," I told Lauren as she came back to bed.

"Sure," she replied, and she eagerly complied.

When she was settled, I eased open her legs, and slipped the little chocolate disk into her slit. I teased her clit with my finger until she was completely wet. I pulled apart her nether lips with my fingers, and softly licked her little pink button. Lauren gasped. I used my tongue to coax her clit out of hiding, then sucked it hard. She arched her back, almost trying to pull away from the intense sensation. I plunged my tongue inside her over and over. I drew it up to tease her clit, then plunged it inside her again. The taste was chocolate mixed with musky sweet and I couldn't get enough. Lauren was moaning and gasping, and I knew it was time for more.

She let me kiss her, tasting her own juices on my tongue. My hands kneaded her breasts. I was so ready to be inside her. I positioned myself between her legs and was about to enter her, when she started to wiggle away.

"Wait, stop." she said.

I was dizzy from the effort it took me not to plunge ahead. But I could never force myself on a girl, even if we'd gotten this far. Why was she stopping? What had I done? Then it hit me: a condom. I needed a condom.

I slowly eased myself off the bed and struggled to the spot where I had dropped my pants. I fumbled with my wallet, and finally found the strip of condoms I had placed there just in case. I tore one off and made my way back to the bed. But Lauren wasn't lying there. She was standing next to the table, studying the chocolate.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"There's something I haven't told you," she said, not meeting my gaze.

"Is it so important?"

"Yes, it is." She picked out a piece of candy, and came towards me. "Open your mouth." I did as I was told, and she fed me the chocolate. "This is me."

I didn't understand what she meant. "This is you?"

"This is me," she repeated.

The chocolate melted until the cordial inside oozed out and I could taste the fruit. "You're a chocolate covered cherry?" I asked.

"Yes" she answered.

It took a minute for me to make the connection. Then I understood. I finished the candy and said "Are you saying you're a virgin?"

Lauren looked at the floor. "Yes," she said softly, her dark hair falling across her face.

I was flabbergasted. "It never occurred to me that you hadn't done this before," I said.

She looked up hesitantly. "I haven't exactly had guys lining up at my door to sleep with me."

I had the distinct feeling that the rest of the evening relied on how I responded to this. "Fools," I said simply.

Lauren smiled, and I knew I'd said the right thing. "Do you still want to do this?" she asked.

"Only if it's what you want."

"It's what I want."

It was quiet for a moment. "Okay," I said. "You're going to have to get a little closer."

Lauren laughed and came back to the bed. I kissed her, and started all over. This time, while she was writhing under my tongue, I gently eased the condom onto my stiff cock. I slipped two fingers in and out of her until her moans had achieved a level of urgency. I replaced my fingers with my dick, moving in and out until she realized what was going on.

"Oh my gosh, you're inside me!" she exclaimed.

"Not all the way," I told her. "Are you sure you want me to do it?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Do it! Do it!"

So I did. I pushed forward until I met resistance, then I pushed some more. Then it gave. Lauren gasped as it registered with her. I stayed still inside her, teasing her clit with my fingers. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded silently. I started moving again and gradually Lauren relaxed and began to move with me. I kept my eyes on hers, and when she closed them and began to moan I quickly began to rub her clit while I pumped her. Her back arched, and she started to shake. I could feel her insides sucking and grabbing my dick. I closed my eyes and the black behind my eyelids turned a milky white. Something inside my mind exploded and I felt an immense physical release. When the whiteness cleared, I was resting on her. I moved gingerly to pull out of her without hurting her. I rolled on my side, and Lauren rolled away from me with her knees together.

"Are you okay," I asked after a moment.

Lauren didn't reply, she just nodded.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Again she didn't say anything, just shook her head "No".

"I'm going to go clean up a little."

"Okay," she said softly.

I had a hard time standing. I stumbled to the bathroom, where I found a quickly dissipating bubble bath. Heart-shaped candles were mostly melted on the side of the tub. She'd planned something sweet and romantic. I felt a slight pang. I hoped I hadn't disappointed her. I eased into the tub. It was cold. I added some hot, then quickly washed up. When I got out, I felt incredible. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went back into the room. Lauren was lying right where I had left her.

I went and sat on the bed next to her. "Lauren, are you alright?"

She turned to me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine. I was just reliving it. I want to remember everything about it."

"I hope it was okay."

Lauren laughed softly. "It was better than okay."

"Well, it gets better the more you do it, you know."

"Just don't say it's like riding a bicycle."

"A few more times we'll have you riding something, but it won't be a bicycle."

Lauren laughed again. "So I guess you'll be sticking around for a while?"

"For as long as you want me," I said.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise. Now let's get you cleaned up. I'm starving. You want to order a pizza?"

"Sure," she said.

I helped her up and she went into the bathroom and eased herself into what was left of her romantic little bubble bath.

The funny thing is, Lauren was the one who wanted to remember that evening. But it's stayed with me all these years.

We were a couple after that. What little free time we had, we spent together. Even my fraternity brothers, initially shocked by my choice, gradually accepted her. We spent hours in my bed, fucking and sucking and talking about life. It was there I told her about the job offer.

"A bank?" she asked. "What are you going to do at a bank?"

"I'll be working for the Mainframe Supervisor."

"It's in New York."

"I know."

"Nobody's hiring in Florida?"

"Not with an opportunity like this. My parents have worked their whole lives for me to have a chance like this. It's a great starting point. Who knows where it could take me."

Lauren sighed. "Hey, who knows. Maybe you can get them to hire me when I graduate."

"I'd love that."

That was the beginning of the end. But I didn't know it at the time.

It was a gradual progression. I graduated, moved back to New York, and started my new life. I put in 14-hours days. I learned everything I could. I started to see the future of computers in the financial industry, and I wanted to be in on the ground floor. I stopped returning phone calls, mainly because I was never home. I missed Lauren's 21st birthday. I saw the men in the corner offices, men with professional and monetary success. Men with pictures of their adorable children and perfect wives sitting on their Mahogany desks. I wanted to be one of them.

One night, late in September, I came home around 10 p.m., Chinese take-out in hand. I checked my answering machine. 5 Messages. They were all from Lauren. The first four were basically, 'Hi, it's Lauren. Call me back." The 5th message stopped me cold. She was crying.