The Self Sufficient Hermit

I struggled with them in the blowing wind and rain with breakers rolling up and crashing all around soaking me to the core. I hoped I wouldn't get crushed between two logs while the breakers were lifting and tossing them like they were.

Lucy watched me from the front porch of my cabin as I struggled with the cable, looping it over and under each log, stapling it all tightly. After the third one of the seven logs I was worried about, I was having a difficult time getting the cable to do what I needed it to do. I was about to give up when suddenly a hand shot up on the other side of the log waiting for me to give it the cable end.

With Lucy helping we managed to get all seven logs secured. I was surprised that she came out in the nasty weather to help, and on top of that, that she didn't shy away from getting wet and dirty in doing so. She was forcing me to change my opinion of her way too much. That alone added to my discomfort.

As we walked back up to the cabin I saw Janice sitting on the rocker I'd made, smiling. She'd been watching us work together in getting the logs secured and it seemed to amuse her for some strange reason.

That night after I made dinner, we all sat around visiting. Paul was conscious for a bit and though in pain, he took part of the conversation. We talked about many things, but mostly the conversation seemed to be about me and my place.

Later that night I woke suddenly to see a shadow standing over me. In the dimness of the room I couldn't tell who it was until her hand reached out and touched my face. Softly, so softly in fact I thought at first I was imagining it, she spoke.

"You are my knight in shining armor."

I pretended to sleep until Lucy went back to the master bedroom. I thought about her touch and choice of words for a long time.

Day four dawned with the storm raging even harder. I could see the breakers coming in over the spit, and that was amazing. The spit was far enough away from my cabin that one couldn't see it clearly without binoculars or other optical aids. To see waves breaking up so high meant that the seas had to be running around one hundred foot at least.

I set up to do laundry and while all the clothes were being washed I slipped out to the wreckage of the jet to see if there was any luggage left. The whole plane was pretty much burned up and what little I did find wasn't much but rags.

Getting back to the cabin I saw Lucy folding the clothes. Evidently I'd been gone longer than I thought as they'd run the clothes through my dryer too.

"Wow... sorry I was gone for so long. I went out to the wreck to see if there was anything worth salvaging as far as your luggage. I didn't find much but a burned out hulk. Guess you'll have to wear my Tee shirts for bed again tonight."

"Well, your Tee shirts are comfortable. I might just steal some when we do leave." Lucy was smiling as she teased me. "I have to wonder about the bra and panties you have though. Do you have a girlfriend or maybe you like to dress up..."

"Those belong to Amber, that young lady you forced to take a swim. She was in my shower getting warm and took those off. I didn't realize it until after they'd left that her underwear was on the floor by shower door." I knew I was blushing.

"Oh? She was naked in your shower on your boat?"

"Uh... yeah. Hot water... you know... warmed her up." I was really blushing now.

"Hmmm. Well, your Tee shirts are very comfortable and I am planning on stealing at least one of them when we leave... just so you know." Lucy was giving me 'that look' while talking to me.

"That's okay with me, but those stinky old things won't last long anyway. They're nearly on their last legs now as it is." I just wanted to get out of there.

"Not hardly. The one I wore last night was almost new." Janice was now slipping into the conversation.

"Those things are older than me for crying out loud." I was becoming desperate.

"Yeah... right... and pigs fly around all day long around here too." Lucy laughed.

"Well, suit yourselves. They're just Tee shirts, nothing special. Probably buy them at any store down South for a few bucks."

"That's true J. W., but they wouldn't be the same. I love the way they smell, and they've been washed just enough to be soft and cuddly. I slept last night with your smell all around me." Lucy was staring at me intensely as she moved in closer to me.

I blushed some more.

Yeah, I know, big macho 'jerk' blushing like a school kid. Can't help it... Lucy did things to me that I couldn't explain.

"Well... you go right ahead and take any old Tee shirt of mine you want. No big deal."

I backed away, moving into the kitchen. There had to be something to be done in there that I could do right now. As I washed dishes Janice slipped up beside me. She tried to take over drying the plates as I rinsed them off. She soon saw that with one arm she wouldn't be able to do much so she gave up and just stood watching me. Lucy was folding the last of the clothes from the dryer out back.

"You know, she's falling for you." Janice spoke quietly, as if Lucy would hear her telling me.

"No, she's just having that 'summer camp crush' thing, that's all. If you take a small group of people and shove them together, it happens...and then, after summer camp is over and they all go home, most of that crush disappears. Sometimes it takes a month or three, but eventually it all goes away. That's what Lucy's having, I'm sure. She can do a lot better than me, and be with some guy that likes Hollywood and all that stuff. We're farther apart than hot and cold... that's the truth." I was certain I was right.

"Well, you need to know that I know Lucy better than anybody else does. She's changing and it's for the better. I have known her through six relationships now... and this time it's far different than any before. She's falling for you hard... J.W. ... don't you hurt her."

"Me? Hurt her? Lady, you got me all wrong to begin with. We'll never see each other again once the Coast Guard gets out here and takes you all to safety. She'll think back about this little camping adventure with all that romantic crap until some other dude with a lot of money or flash shows up and then she'll forget all about me. It is what it is. Don't read things into things that aren't there."

"J.W.... you're a smart and talented man, but you underestimate Lucy's feelings and you underestimate what she'd do for you. Mark my words... she won't be forgetting you ever. Matter of fact I wouldn't be surprised if... well, never mind that for now... just know that Lucy is or has fallen for you very hard. You make sure you treat her right."

"We haven't dated, kissed or petted... fondled or anything else lovers do Janice... you're wrong. She's in 'summer camp' mode and that's all."

Janice laughed out loud.

"Man, you are going to be so surprised. So is she too I think. It will be interesting being around Lucy when she gets back to Hollywood."

"You mean goes back home?"

"No, I mean Hollywood. I think she thinks of this cabin as home now."

"Janice... it's only been four days since the crash. There is no way in hell she's in love with me or falling in love with me. It's just 'summer camp', I'm telling you."

That night as we ate dinner, I recalled that earlier conversation and realized that maybe my 'summer camp' comparison wasn't quite right... but it was close enough for me. Lucy seemed to hang on every word I said... it was almost embarrassing. Fortunately I had some recent experience with women who seemed to think they loved me or were in love with me. I could handle Amber, and I saw her a lot more than I'd ever see Lucy again so I knew that I'd be able to handle Lucy too.

Once again, late that night as I slept on the couch I woke up to someone standing over me, Lucy's form shown in the faint light of the fireplace flame. I pretended to be sleeping soundly and waited.

So softly I almost missed her speaking, I heard words that shook me to my core.

"I love you J.W. I really do. I don't know when or how... but I do know love when it hits me. You're my Knight in shining armor."

I felt her hand on my shoulder, her lips brushed my cheek. It was hard for me to pretend to be sleeping. Long after she'd left to go back to bed, I could feel the heat on my cheek where her lips had touched my soul. What was I going to do?

I argued with myself for hours afterward. While checking on Paul it was all I could think about. I clung to my belief that Lucy was suffering from 'Summer camp syndrome' and I finally fell asleep wondering, 'what if it isn't?'

The morning broke with the storm down to almost nothing. The sky was breaking up, with the sun making it down to earth more and more. We ate breakfast and I began to get my 'patient' ready. I knew that the Coast Guard would be out shortly.

About a half hour later we heard the chopping sounds of the helicopter coming in for a landing. As they set down I went outside, hoping that the doctor was onboard. He was. He came in with me and started checking Paul over. Another medic followed in with a bag and soon they were hooking up IV's and getting him ready for transport.

"We're going to run this one and the young lady into Ketchikan and then come back for the other gal. You did a fine job J.W. I think Paul will be okay."

"I'll wait with Lucy for now. I'm doing okay anyway." Janice interrupted the doctor.

He didn't like it but he allowed her to stay with us.

They left and as the sounds of the helicopter died away, I looked to see Lucy staring at me with looks that unsettled.

"What?"

Lucy looked into my eyes as tears formed in hers. "You saved our lives."

"Just did what anybody would or could have done."

"No. You saved our lives."

"They'll be back pretty soon for you two. You'll be out of the woods soon. It will feel good to you to get back home too."

Janice was staring at me with a different look suddenly. It was as if she recognized something in me she hadn't before.

"J.W., you did save us. I know that Paul wouldn't have made it without your help, you checking on him through the nights and you set my arm like a pro too." Janice said.

"The doc was on the other end of the Motorola."

"Yeah, but YOU did the work. YOU saved him and me."

"Broken arm won't kill you usually."

"You know what I mean."

"Okay, okay... fine. You're welcome. You're all welcome."

"You don't like praise much do you J.W.?" Lucy cut in.

Lucy had a look again, that look that had unnerved me before. It did double duty today.

"Just did what any person would have done in the same situation. No big heroic deal. Really."

"It is to us."

"Yeah... okay. I said, you're welcome too."

She let it drop but I could see something in her eyes that said otherwise.

The Coast Guard came back a little bit later and picked up the women. I was relieved as they were both starting to make me very nervous the longer they were around me. As Lucy boarded the helicopter, she hugged me tight, giving me a lingering kiss on my lips. I was shocked.

"What the hell?!"

"That's for helping us. You saved our lives. I was a... I wasn't as nice as I could have been either. You're always going to be my Knight in Shining Armor. If you would, could you apologize to that young lady who took the swim too? I feel bad about that."

"Damn... well, you take care of yourself Lucy. Maybe when you come back, if you do, things will go better."

I was softening up.

"When I come up to film I'll drop by... I mean, if you'd like."

"Sure. Anytime. The door will always be open for any of you."

As the sound of the helicopter died off, I looked around. The place seemed different somehow. In only five days things had changed forever for me. I knew several things. One, Lucy wasn't that bad a person. I had been wrong about her. Two, I could do some medical stuff that I never thought I'd be doing. Three, and this one hurt the most, I needed a woman.

That last one bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Just those days and nights with Lucy and Janice around the place had changed my mind though. I hated that I felt that way. Wanting a woman and having one were two different things. Hopefully that feeling would go away, eventually.

I had to put up with the FAA investigators for a while. Never did hear what caused the fire onboard the jet. They picked up every piece of the aircraft, the bodies had been removed shortly after the Coast Guard could fly out, and things got normal bit by bit.

Months went by, and that feeling I had about needing a woman only got worse instead of going away. I knew that I had issues; I just didn't know how to fix this one. At Christmas I got a package from town. It was several gifts from Amber to me. The guy who dropped them off didn't know anything about the deal other than she'd asked him to deliver them if he was in the area.

That started me thinking about Amber as a woman too. The gifts were simple things, mostly artistic things she'd made. Now I had thoughts of two women on my mind, taking up what little brain space I had left. The winter seemed to drag on forever. Finally, the snow began to melt, and the days turned warmer. Spring was in the air.

The winter had been long and hard, but I had gotten some serious work done. Twenty-five table sets were complete and I also had some end table sets as well. I decided to deliver them to town myself as I hadn't been able to contact Paul. I hoped that he had made his crabbing trip safe and sound.

Jacob was in a mood when I got there.

"Hey Jacob. How's things going?"

"Been pretty good. The last month has been busy as heck. There are about a hundred people in town with that filming crew and I've had to double my usual orders from my suppliers."

"Oh, that movie crew is here filming then?"

"Yep. Say that actress lady has been looking for you too. Anyway she asks about you, daily it seems. You must have made an impression on her."

"Nah. She just needed some help and I was in the right place at the right time."

"Not how I hear it."

"Just what the hell have you heard then?"

Emma walked in at that moment and Jacob suddenly got busy, too busy to answer me. Irritated I pushed.

"Jacob what have you been hearing?"

"Nuthin, nuthin at all."

"J.W., has Jacob been filling you with his stories about them movie people?"

"I'm not sure Emma. He mentioned that he had heard something about that time last winter when I had the visitors and all, but he won't talk now."

"Jacob you know better than that. J.W. is local and a friend. I'll tell you J.W.. That movie gal has been asking about you. She's interested. Real interested. She wants to talk to you... see you. Said something about paying you back for the care..."

"It was nothing."

"IT was SOMETHING to her J.W.! Her and that assistant gal and that man too. He lived you know. He's been asking about you too. Hell... they've all been pestering us about you. Especially that movie gal though. She's real interested in you."

"I was lucky to be there to help them. Couldn't save them all though."

"That you saved that guy was enough. He and those women will never forget you that's for sure. You got a thing for her do you J.W.? She's right pretty."

"NO."

Even I could tell I answered too fast. I felt like a school boy suddenly. All embarrassed about the girl and someone ready to talk to me about it. I looked over some stuff on a table as if I was uninterested, but Emma saw right through that immediately.

"Uh huh. You DO have a thing for her. Well, she's right pretty that's for sure. She's also very, very interested in you too, that's a good sign."

"Stop Emma. Really, don't go there."

"J.W., you need a woman."

"No. No man 'needs' a woman. They might want a woman, or do some things better with a woman around, but need? Priests or Monks don't 'need' women."

"I won't say anything about your particular choice on that statement J.W., but you are wrong. Very wrong."

"I'm doing all right without a woman and have been..."

"No you haven't." Emma started to unload on me then. "You've been an angry young man with a chip on his shoulder ever since that young gal left you for that doctor. She was never a good woman for you anyway, and that doctor is probably wishing he'd never met her by now. You however, are free from her and have a chance at picking a good woman. That actress is a good one to grab, I'll tell you that."

"An actress? No way."

"She's human. She's beautiful. She's also rather well off. She has heart, which is more than I can say for you"... she teased.

"What? I thought you were my friend Emma. You're not being a good friend at the moment ..."

"Yes I am. J.W., you need someone and this little gal from Hollywood may be the one for you. It's high time you moved on."

"Yeah right, like she'd be interested in me. I'm a fuc... a damn hermit." I barely caught myself from saying what I was about to spit out. "I like my life just as it is. She dropped out of the sky in a burning jet and I helped. That's all. She has no interest in me other than I helped her out when she had no choice, no other options. THAT'S ALL."

Emma was smiling as I answered and then I realized she was looking over my shoulder at something or someone behind me.

Her voice came from behind and as I heard it I started to melt. She must have walked inside as I was talking. "A hermit? You're no hermit J.W.. You're a master craftsman. I have two of your table sets in my houses, and I recommend your work to all my friends in Hollywood too. I do have an interest in you as well. You saved my life, Janice's life, and Paul's life too. We all owe you."

"You don't owe me anything Lucy. Really. I was there, you needed the help..."

"You didn't have to. I know you don't like most people that come here for the views and 'experience'. I know that you live it every day. I know also that under that crusty image you try to convey to the world there is a man with a heart of gold..."

"Look, you don't know squat. I'm glad you and your friends made it okay, and that your life is going on just like you want. I'm happy for you. I have to go."

"What's the matter J.W.? Scared of a girl?"

She moved to stand in such a way as to block my path.

"I'm not afraid of no girl. As a matter of fact I'm not afraid of much anything..."

"You're running away and haven't even got what you came to get yet."

"Decided I didn't need it that bad."

"Oh really? You're not running away from me then? Really J.W.?"

She moved closer to me. Her look became softer somehow.

I looked into her eyes and knew that was a mistake. She could see into my soul now. I saw her stance soften just a bit as she dipped her head slightly to one side twirling her hair with her fingers. I stood there, like a big dummy.

"J.W. I want to thank you for all you did. That was a rough day, a rough few days. You didn't have to help yet you did all you could. Thank you." One of her hands reached out to touch my chest.

My voice was rough, my need to 'cover' gone.

"Yeah... it's all right."

"So, how are things at the cabin in the woods?"

"Same as usual. Lived in."

"Could we come home and visit you sometime then?"

"I suppose. Not sure what you'd like for food, so when you come bring along what you'd like to eat and I'll fix it up for you the best I can."

I could smell her perfume and it was entrancing me.

"Will you be home on Saturday?"

"This Saturday? Yeah, I suppose."

I was feeling things I had worked out of my system over the long winter months, or so I thought. Something about her wording was bothering me too.

"Could I... we... come home Saturday? Maybe sleep over, if that's all right?"

"Uh... yeah... sure."

I was way off step. She had caught me off guard and now I was swimming with sharks as far as I knew. Her repeated mentioning of my place being 'home' threw me. She had fluttering eyes and all that stuff women throw at a man when they want something their way... and I was powerless to resist. Hell, I suppose she could have asked me to go jump off a cliff right then and I'd have done it.