The Shadow Doctor Ch. 03

Yelena propped herself up on an elbow so that she could see his face. "I guess I'm putting it off because I'm scared you'll say no. But the details about how the spell works are kind of important to me. It helps me understand what's happening so that I feel a little less crazy. And I've always been fascinated with language; you can't help being curious about how languages work after you learn enough of them, or at least I couldn't. If the way you control me is based on language, I feel like I can understand what is happening a little bit more. But you're right, I should ask for my favor now."

She began to struggle up into a kneeling position. Tam rolled into a seated position himself and stopped her as she tried to bow, pushing her to sit facing him. "As much as I enjoy all of the 'your slave wishes to request' behavior, don't worry about being formal right now. There's a time and a place for it, but it isn't now. You've fucked all the formality out of me, and I'm feeling as generous as I'll ever feel. Just tell me what you want and I'll decide if it's reasonable."

"Yes Master. I just have one request, and I think I really will go mad if you don't grant it. I can survive being property, the fucking and the beating and the constant hunger, at least I think I can. I can probably even survive the crazy stuff like not being able to lie or feeling like I won a prize when you compliment me. But I can't survive constantly wondering if what I'm thinking is me or something you put inside me."

"I'm begging you, Tam, and I'll fuck you every way you can think of again if it'll help you say yes. If there's something I can offer you besides my body, I'll offer that too. Please, please, please: tell me when you fuck with my mind. Let me read all of the rules you write in that strange magic place in your head that says 'Rules for Yelena'. I think I can adapt to being changed, if I know where it's coming from and what it is. But I can't handle wondering if my thoughts are my own. I'm barely holding it together anymore without the rule to be calm. I don't even know if what I just did was your idea or mine."

Tears were pooling in her eyes again, and her voice broke at the end. Tam reached out and cupped her face in his hand, brushing the tears away.

"Yelena, listen to me. That was just you. I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse about throwing yourself at me, but it wasn't my idea. In fact, I admire you for what you just did - you decided what you needed to survive in a bad situation and put everything you could offer on the line to get it. I respect your courage. I will grant your request, with conditions."

"What conditions?"

"First, there may not always be time to tell you what the new rule is, or we may be in a position where we should not be discussing mind control, for example if there are other people around. I will do my best to keep you up to date on things in a timely manner, and if I forget, you have permission to ask for an update as long as it's in a safe environment."

Yelena nodded. "That's perfectly reasonable."

"Second, and you will like this less - I may want to test scenarios where you are not aware of the command I have given you. In some of these scenarios, I will give you warning ahead of time that there will be a mystery command or rule, but in others it would ruin the test. I do not envision any of these lasting longer than a few hours. I will try to keep them as brief as possible, and I will always tell you what I did afterwards, whether or not I warned you ahead of time."

Yelena frowned. "You're right. I don't like that at all. Can you promise me that we'll do some of the ones with warnings first? Or that the ones I don't know about will only happen on certain days or at certain times? Wondering if it's a surprise test isn't really different from just plain old wondering if it's you or me behind my thoughts."

Tam frowned. "I see your point. Very well, we will stick to only hidden tests with prior warning for the present time. If I think I need to give you a hidden test without warning, we will sit down and have this conversation again."

"Beggars can't be choosers; any other conditions?"

"I'm only going to keep track of the rules for you; it would be too much of a bother to tell you every time I give you an order whether or not I'm compelling you to obey. If you really have to know about something, you can ask as long as we're in private and it doesn't interrupt anything. I can't think of any other conditions. If I do later, I will sit down and discuss it with you first. I believe I heard in your culture it is customary to grasp forearms when making a promise?"

Yelena gave him a strange look that he couldn't interpret. "No, that's when you make a bargain. Since I didn't have anything to offer and just had to beg you and hope, this isn't a bargain. But we can do it anyway."

She extended her right arm, scrubbing a few loose tears from her face as she did so. Tam reached out with his own, closing his hand around her slim forearm as her fingers lightly wrapped around his.

"Very well. Alexovna Yelena, hear this. I, Hsien Tam, will keep you informed of every rule I set for you and change I make to your personality and mind, within the conditions we discussed. This is my promise."

He released her and stood. "Now get up and get dressed; we're both filthy with sweat and sex stains. We're getting cleaned up, and since you've mentioned being hungry twice since you woke, after that we'll eat. That's not a command by the way; it's just me telling you what to do." He grinned at her.

Yelena sprawled back on the floor. "Oh, this feels nice. I'm disobeying your command to get up and get dressed. Look at me, no clothes on. I know I only get to do it because you're letting me disobey, but it feels fantastic anyway."

"Yes, a brilliant plan. You're going to stay hungry, and I'm going to continue to ogle your naked body. Remember when I said you were intelligent? I take it back."

"Yes, I remember. You said it more than once. Still compelled to answer any question, I see. Might as well get dressed and get back to my life of slavery." She sighed and began to look for her dress.

"Ah, thank you for reminding me. I am modifying the honesty rules. They remain in their current state whenever we are in private. If we are some place where others can hear us talk, you are now permitted to lie, but only if it serves to keep secret the fact that I have total control of you. I am also adding a new rule, which is that you will keep my control over you a secret by any means necessary." Tam tugged his own clothes back on as he talked.

"What does that mean? Any means necessary? Do I get to kill you if I hear you start to tell someone else?"

"Alright, that might not be the best wording. Help me think of the best way to phrase that rule to achieve my intent. This is a command."

"Um, I have to do everything I can to keep this a secret, unless you choose to tell someone, or keeping the secret would lead to worse consequences for you than the secret coming out? Shit, I shouldn't have asked, I should have waited for the chance to kill you."

"Killing me may not work out well for you, given the way the spell works. I approve of your suggested wording; I just set it in place as your newest rule. For reference, the consequences of this becoming known would be that I would almost certainly be captured by someone like the Tong or one of the city's nobles and forced by torture to teach them how they can wield this power. Once they know how I do it, I will almost certainly be placed under their control using my own spell or killed. So, basically, you should only betray the secret if doing so will prevent me from losing my life or my freedom. Now let's get cleaned up."

Once they were both dressed, Tam led her to his bathing chamber. Yelena was impressed with the enchanted tub, which heated the water after the spigot filled it. She confessed that the port town she grew up in did not even have a system of pipes and aqueducts to deliver water into a house.

If one wanted to have a warm bath in her birthplace, they hauled water in buckets from rain barrels or a well, then heated the water in pots before pouring it into a tub. Since this was impractical for all but the very rich, most people either went without bathing or made do with a wet rag or the occasional dip in the sea.

Tam was amazed at the barbarism. She confessed that her native country had no public baths like the ones the Emperor of Han provided for his citizens, though she knew that some of the other barbarian nations used them. The larger cities in her home country at least had rudimentary systems of running water and waste disposal, though they weren't as advanced as those used in Nihai.

Yelena was initially reluctant to join Tam in the tub to bathe him. He made a few points: first, her public role included being his body servant as well as warming his bed; second, he'd seen her naked and fucked her plenty of times; third, if she didn't get in and start scrubbing him of her own free will, he'd just make her do it. Cursing under her breath, she stripped down and climbed in.

Tam found being bathed remarkably pleasant. He'd never thought of himself as the sort of person who needed a body servant, but now that he had one he found himself quite taken with the concept. He even decided to have her unbraid and wash his hair. She was probably scowling ferociously, but since he couldn't see her face, he just relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of her hands massaging his scalp and smoothing out his hair.

Once he was clean, he stepped out and had Yelena towel him off, then watched as she bathed herself. He noticed that she was beginning to grow faint traces of stubble, and had her shave her armpits, crotch, and legs, as he liked the look and feel of her that way. He left her keep the stubble on her head; the humiliation being bald caused her was interesting, but it wasn't aesthetically pleasing, and he wanted her to regrow her hair as quickly as possible.

Once she was clean and shaved, he had her dry his hair and re-do his braid then dress him in clean clothes. She knelt naked at his feet after putting his slippers on, scowling up at him.

"Is Master ready to face the rest of his day? Does Master need a nice massage first? Or his nails trimmed?"

Tam was amused by her surly behavior; even after what he'd done to her in the stable and what she'd put herself through in his study just now, she still managed to have a rebellious attitude. He considered reprimanding her, but found that he actually enjoyed her little acts of defiance. He smirked down at her.

"Don't mock being civilized, girl. The simple pleasures are a key element in a good life. Get dressed yourself. You can wear the same dress again, since I only have one other one for you at the moment. Let's have a late lunch and see if we can't accomplish something productive in what's left of the day."

Once she was dressed, Tam led the way to the hallway door, but Yelena reached out to grab his arm before he could open it.

"Tam, stop. If I wasn't under your control through the spell, you wouldn't let me walk around without restraints. I can start acting more docile; if anyone asks, you broke my will with the rape and beating last night. But even broken, you would still be suspicious of me."

Tam laughed. "I can't tell if I'm more impressed with you for putting that together so quickly, or with me for inventing a spell that makes you help me like this. I should have thought of it myself, of course."

Yelena frowned. "Damn, it was the rule, wasn't it? I just thought of it and said it, without thinking about why. And now I get to be tied up for the foreseeable future just because I'm smart enough to point that out. Do you think you could set up a rule so that I get really dumb whenever you make me assist in my own enslavement?"

Tam found the enchanted green silk and beckoned Yelena over to present her wrists. "I have no idea how I'd phrase that, though now I am wondering if I can increase or decrease your intelligence. Don't look so terrified - anything I test about that will be done very carefully, with your full knowledge of what we're doing, and I'll fix it afterwards. The last thing I want to do is damage your mind, your insights on your condition are valuable."

"Yes, that's very comforting. Oh, hey! That's another way I can lie: sarcasm. Sarcasm and figures of speech, you are my new best friends." Yelena gave Tam an extremely insincere exaggerated smile as he bound her wrists in front of her.

"I see you're embracing gallows humor as a coping mechanism. If it helps you, I suppose it doesn't bother me. Now, look sullen and apprehensive; it shouldn't be difficult for you." Placing his hand on her collar to guide her, Tam led Yelena out of the study.

Tam had Yelena kneel at his feet on a cushion as they ate, feeding her by hand as he'd done the day before. After they ate, Tam decided to give Yelena a tour of the manor and introduce her to the staff.

His property was a large rectangle, bordered on two sides by streets and other manors on the other two sides. The outer walls were separated from the manor itself by gardens, with paths of paved stone circling the building and connecting the manor doors to the front gate and to the stable against the back wall. The manor itself was a single story in a 'u' shape, two long wings perpendicular to the front wall, joined by a central section. Tam's clinic and lab took up half of the right hand wing near the gate, with small groves of trees positioned outside the windows to block any patient's view of the rest of the manor. The back half of that wing was the kitchen, storerooms, and living quarters for Lin Song, Bin Hsui and Ho Tien.

The left wing was the master's wing. Though Tam mainly used his bedroom, study, and bathing chamber, there were also additional bedrooms and bathing chambers and a few rooms set aside for entertaining his rare guests. The central section that joined the wings was primarily devoted to a large open space for dining, bracketed with smaller parlors that opened onto the gardens, intended for sipping tea or relaxing in other ways.

He introduced Yelena to the servants as they crossed paths, each time having her kneel and tell the servant she was honored to meet them. Bin Hsui found them just as Tam was finishing the tour; apparently a reply to Tam's message to Su Wen had arrived. Thanking the old man, Tam took Su Wen's reply into his study to read in private, Yelena dutifully following at his heels.

The reply was actually a small package. Upon unwrapping it, Tam found a wig, a veil, a small origami figure, and a folded note which smelled of Su Wen's perfume.

He unfolded the note and read it:

Doctor Hsien -

Thank you for your message. Your consideration is, as always, appreciated. Matters with the young lady's friends are progressing quickly, and I expect to soon inform you that there is no need to conceal her. Until then, I have provided some items that I think would be fetching on her if you wish to escort her about town. Once matters are resolved with the young lady's friends, I would enjoy seeing how she is adjusting to life with you.

- Su Wen

Tam picked up the wig and veil and considered them with a smile. Give Yelena long black hair, obscure her face, and yes, he could probably walk her anywhere in the city without risk of her being recognized by anyone.

"Here, try these on. They're a gift, sent for you from Su Wen."

"That lady frightens me almost as much as you do" she grumbled as she adjusted the wig.

"That is a very healthy attitude. I consider her to be the most dangerous person I have ever personally met."

Tam studied Yelena. She hadn't managed to get the wig and veil quite situated right, operating with bound hands and no mirror, but the effect was still impressive. Her pale skin still marked her as a foreigner where the dress and veil did not cover her, and the collar and bound wrists still said slave, but this was a different woman from the naked, bruised one he had treated in his clinic just that morning.

"It looks good on you. Here, come over and let me fix it, you don't have the wig on quite straight."

Yelena glanced at his desk as he fixed her appearance. "What's the little folded paper person supposed to be?"

"I'm not completely sure, but if I had to guess, it's meant to be you. See how it's kneeling with its ass up and face to the ground? I believe it's meant to be reminiscent of your position when Lu fucked you while we watched."

Yelena flinched back away from him, bumping into the desk as she did so.

"Yelena? Are you worried you'll have to go through that again?"

"No Master. I'm worried that you're going to get violent again, like the last time that man came up. I don't know what I did to make you so angry, but I really don't want to repeat the experience."

She didn't know what she did? The bitch told him that she liked that street cur Lu better, even after how considerate he'd been, and she didn't know why that made him angry? Tam felt the rage boil up from where it had slumbered. He pushed his chair back from the desk and stood.

Yelena instantly dropped prone to the floor, kneeling with her head between outstretched hands. "Please Master, this slave speaks the truth, you know she must. She did not mean to offend you just now. Please do not hurt her again. Tell her what she did wrong and she will never do it again."

Tam forced the rage back. He had promised himself that he would remain in control, and he would do so. With an effort of will, he sat back down.

"Sit up and face me Yelena. Remove the veil."

"Yes Master." She scrambled to comply.

"You really don't know why I was angry?"

"I know I goaded you once you were fucking me over the cage and that made you angrier. I don't know why you're angry now, or why you started to get angry before you took me out to the stable last night."

"Really, you don't know? Think back to what we were talking about just before I took you there."

"I asked you to stop fingering me, and you asked me if it wasn't better this way than getting raped by the Tong. I said no, it hurt more with the Tong, but at least I didn't feel like I was losing my mind. I don't understand why you got angry at me for answering a question when you know I'm compelled to do so; you never got angry before when I answered a question, even if it was an answer you didn't like."

"That wasn't what you said. Your precise words were 'No, it was better with Lu'". Tam's voice was ice.

"Maybe that's how I started the answer, but after that all the rest came out. That's how your spell makes me answer questions - first the most direct answer, then all the necessary details I can think of, even the really embarrassing ones."

Tam frowned; the rage told him the bitch was lying to save herself, but it wasn't in total control yet. Tam knew she couldn't lie to him. He double checked the list of rules just to be sure, and it was still there - the only time she could lie was to help keep his secret, and that didn't apply here.

So if she wasn't lying, one of them was remembering incorrectly. He closed his eyes and thought back. It was hard to remember exact details through the fog of rage, but yes, she had been saying something after the rage descended. So, maybe she was telling the truth.

He opened his eyes and looked at Yelena. She was kneeling perfectly still watching him, like a rabbit frozen before a wolf. "Repeat your answer from last night, as close to the exact words as you can." He made it a command.

"No, it was better with Lu. It hurt more when he and the others fucked me, but at least I was trying to defend myself and fight back, I still had self-respect. Now I'm fucking you like a whore just to send a letter, or begging you to fuck me because I need release. I can't understand what's going on; I think I might be losing my mind."