The Shoe Fetishist's Guide

Julia snorted again. "You're not making me feel better, Joel."

Joel laughed. "Jules, remember how that turned out?"

"Rose asked Jenna to be her make up artist for the wedding," Julia nodded with a slight smile. "Yeah."

Joel nodded. "So what did we learn from this?"

Julia stared at him quizzically, her eyes still watery. "I don't know."

"That you should march to the beat of your own drummer," Joel smiled. He felt proud of himself. Yes. He was doing a good job consoling his brother's girlfriend. He was a supportive guy. He was proud of himself. "And that your friends are all crazy."

Julia laughed at this, truly laughed. "Thank you, Joel."

Joel smiled bashfully.

"And Benji?" Julia turned toward her boyfriend, who had remained largely mute throughout this entire ordeal. He nodded. She smiled softly. "I love you."

"Oh barf!" Joel groaned with a laugh as the couple shared a deep kiss.

* * *

"There will be no more sex in the champagne room," Benji quipped as he paraded around the store in a pair of five-inch platforms. "That's right, ladies and gentle-fucks, no more sex in the champagne room tonight. Go home!"

Joel watched his twin with amusement, then turned to Julia. "All he needs is a feather boa," he whispered and the pair erupted into loud guffaws.

Benji paused, nearly toppled over, but gained his balance and glared at the pair. "What's this you say? Can you not handle the romance? Can you not handle the sheer passion of…Benjamina Sugartits?"

"I think my boyfriend is insane," Julia snorted. She turned her attention back to high heels she was sliding her feet into.

Joel nodded. "It's the fumes from all the shoes. They went to his head."

"I see that," Julia stated absently. She was focused on admiring her feet. Yes, these shoes were good. Very good. She stood up and walked toward the full-length mirror. Perfection. Okay, perhaps they didn't make her calves look at muscular; and maybe they were not the exact shade of blue that she had hoped and prayed for. But these shoes spoke to her. Yes, these shoes were the ones. "Done!" she clapped. "We have a winner."

"Step right up," Benji smirked, towering over her as he wobbled in the platforms. "You've won the ride of your life."

Joel kneeled down onto the floor and began collecting up the various piles of tissue paper and wrapping that had been discarded in Julia's- and Benji's- search for the perfect shoes. He collected several boxes, then stood up and grinned. "Okay, Jules, let's get him out of here before he breaks an ankle."

Benji turned and wobbled in place, nearly colliding with a display rack. "The Great Benjamina Sugarballs has balance. Style. Sophistication."

"OH MY GOD!," a voice yelled and the three of them turned their attention toward the doorway of the small boutique. A teenage mob was gathered there, jumping for ecstatic joy. "OMG IT'S BENJI AND JOEL!"

Joel smirked. "I can't wait to see this photo on the cover of Tiger Beat!"

* * *

"Well that was an interesting day," Benji grinned as he held the battered car door open for Julia. She slid into the passenger seat and he smirked down at her. "Did you see the look on those little girls' faces when they saw me in the heels?"

Julia snorted. "I'll bet that you're the talk of the town tonight."

"I'm always the talk of the town," he boasted as he climbed behind the wheel and positioned himself properly. "Don't you forget that!"

Julia laughed. "Whatever. Aren't my shoes perfect?"

"Yes, but I'm scared that Joel found you a matching purse so quickly," he observed, turning his key in the car's ignition. "That was frightening."

"He knew just where to shop," Julia mused with a sated smile. "I love a man who knows his accessories."

Benji stared at his girlfriend for a long moment. Her head was resting again the window, ignorant of the rain pelting down loudly or her wet hair. She didn't care anymore. She had accomplished her mission and now she was giddy. If only it were that easy for him. He wished buying shoes would bring him so much joy. Almost. Almost wished, but not quite.

He shook his head and began backing out of the parking space. "Joel is meeting us at home. I think he's sleeping over."

"That's fine," she smiled dreamily.

Benji merged onto the highway, offering Julia a quick precursory glance. "Get a hold of yourself, woman. They're just shoes."

"That's what you men think," Julia sighed and licked her lips.