The Smiling Man

At least Jason's swift kick accomplished one thing. I had no desire to see him again for a while. I was angry at him for not giving me a chance to prove myself. I was also depressed. I wanted my old Jason back, but it seemed like the old Jason was gone to never return again.

6)

The next day I started to delete my old text messages and then I read through the whole series from Jason again. It was hard to believe I really was that out of tune with my normal self. I decided to save them off in a word document for posterity. I then sent the document to my hotmail so it would be available on any computer, just in case I needed another jolt of reality. My mind was already trying to rewrite those few days into something that made more sense.

I was wracking my brain trying to think up ways to win Jason back, but I couldn't come up with any good ideas. I asked around with the girls from work for a good divorce lawyer. I called to set up an appointment with one the next day.

That very afternoon the office playboy came by to flirt with me. His name was Gary. He had tried to put the make on me a couple of years ago and I was able to fend him off with ease. I guess now he thought things were different. He flashed his boyish smile at me and tried rubbing my back at one point.

"Look Gary, I'm not going to jump into your bed, just because my husband and I are going through a rough spot. I have friends in this office. I know what you do. You love the lady for a week or two and then you move on. I'm not going to be added to your list. Trust me."

"Sharon, honey. I've had my eye on you for a long time. You're a special lady. We might make a great couple." He reached out to stroke my arm.

I wrenched my arm away.

"Gary Howell, if you touch me again I will file sexual harassment charges."

Gary looked shocked. "OK, OK Sharon. Calm down. I won't bother you anymore, OK?"

"No problem so far Gary. You touch me again, then you have problems."

"Alright, Jeeze." He stomped off.

7)

I met with the divorce lawyer the next morning. He had a reputation for being a good listener with a no-nonsense attitude.

"Hi Sharon, I'm Richard Thompkins."

"Hi Mr. Thompkins."

"Call me Richard, Sharon. It makes things much easier."

"OK Richard."

"So, I understand you were served a petition for divorce?"

I handed him the papers. He glanced though them very quickly.

"This looks pretty standard Sharon. So how do you want to proceed?"

"I don't want a divorce Richard. I love my husband very much. I want him back."

"I see. Obviously your husband does want a divorce though, or we wouldn't be here."

"You're right I guess, but I know he still loves me. It's just a big misunderstanding."

"Well Sharon, I hope you won't take this the wrong way. This will be a professional relationship, and I won't be making any advance towards you, OK?"

"OK, I guess." I was very confused.

"Sharon, you are a beautiful woman. You obviously have your share of brains. You're no dummy. Also, you have a refreshingly down to Earth attitude for someone of your beauty. In other words you seem almost too good to be true. It would seem your husband would have no choice but to stay in love with you unless you really did something awful. Did you cheat on your husband, Sharon?"

"No Richard, I've never had sex with another man since I started dating Jason."

"Did Jason find another woman?"

"No, of course not," I said indignantly.

"So Sharon, Would you classify your marriage as being a good one?"

"Oh Yes. It was pretty much perfect all the way through until this past weekend."

"Really? That's very unusual in these situations. If you didn't cheat on each other, what the heck happened?"

I blushed beet red. I opened my mouth to tell the story and closed it again. It was just too embarrassing to explain. Then I came up with an idea.

"Can I use your computer for a second?"

"Sure, It's all yours."

I logged on to my hotmail and then sent him the document containing Richard's text messages. He opened up the email and read through them.

"Wow Sharon, you really put your husband through the wringer."

"I know Richard. I don't know what came over me."

He was deep in thought for a minute or two.

"Sharon, this is a little unusual, but I'm going to relay some details from my personal history OK?"

I just nodded.

"Sharon, you really don't look like her all that much, but you remind me of my ex-wife. We had a loving marriage and we were both happy. Then another woman caught my eye. Let's call her the bombshell. She oozed sexuality from every pore. I dropped everything to follow her around. Sound familiar?"

I nodded. "What happened?"

"Oh, my wife noticed that I wasn't paying attention to her. I was disappearing for odd reasons and I didn't bother to come up with believable excuses. She followed me and she caught me having sex with the bombshell a few days later. That was the end of our marriage."

"Yes, so it's similar, but different. I never had sex with the smiling man. I never even kissed him. I don't even know his name."

"I understand that Sharon. You know what the other difference is between my situation and yours?"

"No what?"

"That first night when I returned home to my wife, I still hadn't talked with the bombshell. I'm sorry to put it so crudely, but I fucked the shit out of my wife that night while I was thinking about the bombshell."

I gasped.

"And I rejected Jason."

"Yes, you rejected your loving husband for your own fingers. You must have been even more infatuated with your smiling man than I was with the bombshell, and let me tell you, she was the only thing on my mind."

"Not necessarily more infatuated. I still don't see why everyone is saying this is so bad. I never touched him."

Richard just looked at me and shook his head.

"Sharon honey, all I can say is if my current girlfriend did what you did, I would be dumping her right away. Think about it for a second. You got angry earlier when I suggested that Jason might have found another woman. What would you do if he went all gooey eyed over another woman?"

"Jason would never do that."

Richard sighed.

"OK Sharon, we have 28 more days to respond to this petition. What do you want to do?"

"What if I don't respond? He can't divorce me then can he?"

"If you don't respond the judge grants all of Jason's requests and the divorce is final."

"OK, so we respond that we don't want a divorce."

"It doesn't work that way Sharon. We can request marriage counselling."

"Do you think that will help?"

"Maybe, maybe not. When you talk with Jason, I would suggest that you try not to say 'I love you' to him every other sentence. Also, try not to say that you promise never to do it again."

"What? Why?"

"Because that is what all of the cheaters say when they want to reconcile. It just makes things more confrontational. Try to agree with him even if he is putting you down. Try to be positive and not disagree with him."

"I don't know Richard. That sounds pretty kooky to me."

"Yes, well, it's not easy, but I think you will have a much better chance to get him thinking your way if you don't plead too much."

"I'll think about it Richard."

"So, do you want to try for counselling?"

"I think so Richard. I'm still trying to figure out what happened that weekend. I assure you that I'm not normally like that."

"Oh, I believe you Sharon."

"So Richard. How long ago was your bombshell incident?"

"That was about 10 years ago Sharon."

"Has it happened again Richard? Have you become infatuated and followed another woman while you were happily attached?"

Richard blushed.

"One other time Sharon."

"And?"

"I caught myself before it got along too far and went back to my girlfriend and treated her like a princess for a few weeks."

"I see, so there's hope for me?"

Richard smiled. "There's always hope Sharon. I will respond with the request for counselling and let you know how things go."

"OK, Thanks for listening to me Richard."

"My pleasure Sharon, Good Bye."

8)

When I showed up at the gym that afternoon, Mary wasn't there, so I worked out alone. A muscular young man approached me and chatted me up. I was used to men paying attention to me, but I was also used to being happily married. Now that I knew there was nobody to go home to, I found myself reacting differently. The young man was enthusiastically talking to me and brushing me lightly every once in a while and I was enjoying the attention. Then a pretty young woman entered the gym and saw us with our heads together.

"Oh my God, Tim! You never stop do you? You fucking traitor!"

The young man's face fell and he tried to smile at me apologetically.

"You said you loved me, you asshole!"

I got up and headed to the locker room where the man couldn't follow and let them hash out their differences. Obviously the young man was a player. I felt helpless. I was falling for his bullshit. I needed my Jason back. I needed my anchor. Instead I felt like a leaf blowing in the wind.

The next day at work another man approached me. His name was Doug. He had a reputation for being a loner.

"Sharon?"

"Yes, Doug."

"I know we don't know each other that well. I heard you are having troubles with your marriage. I just wanted to let you know, that I've always admired you. It's probably too soon, but I would love to get to know you better."

I looked Doug over. He was tall, a tad overweight and mid 30's. He was pretty good looking though.

"It's definitely too soon for that, Doug. I'm sorry."

He blushed and nodded his head awkwardly. He walked away. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Not too experienced with women though.

At the gym another young good looking guy approached and I fended him off. I wasn't sure if he was bullshitter or not, but I had come to a decision. I was going to stay away from men in general for a while.

I kept thinking about Jason. I was wondering what he was doing. Had he already started looking for my replacement, or was he sulking? It had still only been less than a week since he kicked me in the crotch. I figured I better stay away a little longer.

9)

One day in the grocery store I caught a man staring at me. I tried to ignore him and went straight home. Then I caught the same man staring at me in the food court at lunch the next day. He was well dressed and handsome. When I exited the gym that night the same well dressed man was in the food court. I bought a Gatorade and he approached me.

"May I join you for a quick drink?"

Up close, this man was very sexy. He looked he might be 33 or 34. He was confident.

"Sure, why not?" I replied.

"I'm Peter, pleased to meet you."

He reached for my hand and kissed it. He stared right into my eyes. It was like he was starving and I was the only food around for miles. He was totally focused on me. It was very erotic. He was getting me revved up and we had barely said hello.

"I'm Sharon, pleased to meet you as well."

He smiled at me.

"So why is a beautiful woman like yourself looking so sad all the time?"

This guy cut right to the chase.

"I'm not sure if I want to talk about that with you. I'm sorry."

"Oh it's OK Sharon. I understand. You don't know me from Adam. I'm sorry I asked you such a personal question. I'm just curious. That's all."

He flashed me another confident smile and he continued to stare at me. He focused right on my eyes, never wavering. He was a very intense man. I found his attention exhilarating. I was very tempted to grab his hand and drag him back to my place and fuck him right away. I tried to put the brakes on myself.

"So, how long have you been following me Peter?"

He blushed.

"I saw you in the grocery store last night for the first time and I was captivated."

The way he stared at me made my knees quiver. I tried to pretend this was a normal conversation.

"What kind of work do you do Peter?" I asked.

He smiled at me again. I had the feeling that he knew exactly how close I was to breaking down and caving to his relentless pressure.

"I'm an investment banker, Sharon. Stocks, bonds, that sort of thing."

"I see," I replied.

I don't know anything about the world of finance. I just sort of stared back at him. His eyes kept drinking me in.

"Sharon, would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"I'd love to," I replied breathily before I could stop myself.

"Do you want me to pick you up or would you prefer to meet there?"

I was silently kicking myself. I had resolved to stay away from men, and then I go and accept a dinner invitation in less than two weeks after separating from my husband.

I think Peter noticed my inner confusion and didn't give me any chance to change my mind.

"I'll see you at The Olive Garden tomorrow at 7:30 OK?"

He stood up and got ready to leave.

"OK then Peter. It's a date."

He smiled at me. He brushed his lips against mine and then left quickly. I just sat there and argued with myself for a few minutes. When I got home, my panties were drenched. Peter had done a number or me somehow.

10)

I got to the restaurant about 5 minutes early and Peter was already there. He looked so handsome. His eyes lit up when I appeared. It was obvious that I was the center of his universe. He was a wonderful conversationalist. He could talk knowledgably about many different things. All through our dinner he was very attentive to my needs. Peter was doing a very good job of winning me over. Then he asked the question again.

"So Sharon, why are you sad all the time?"

I thought of Jason for the first time all evening.

"I was happily married Peter up until about 2 weeks ago. My husband now wants a divorce."

Peter looked shocked an appalled. He asked more questions and I told him a version of the events that made me look good.

"I never even touched him Peter."

Peter nodded his head and said all of the things I wanted to hear. He made me see that Jason was the bad guy. Peter was so considerate and compassionate. I was enthralled with him. When Peter suggested we go back to his place and leave my car at the restaurant, I just nodded my head happily. We made love that night and it was wonderful. Peter was an excellent lover. I came three times before he even penetrated me. Then I came another couple of times during the actual sex act. He brought me back to my car late that night. It wasn't long before I had basically moved in with Peter. It was a wonderful time. He seemed to worship the ground I walked on.

Then one night Peter was nowhere to be found. We had been set up to go out to a play, but he never showed up until late that night. He came to bed, but he basically ignored me. I tried to ask him where he was and he continued to pretend I wasn't there. It was very frustrating. Peter had always made me the center of his world, and now I was obviously no longer the center. This was the first night since we met for dinner that we didn't have sex. I was angry.

I followed Peter the next day. Lo and behold, Peter was following another woman. She looked a lot like me from a distance. Peter was staring at her and nothing else mattered to him. I didn't need to be careful as I followed him. He was oblivious. He was totally focused on the blonde woman. That evening Peter approached the woman and smiled at her. She looked suitably impressed with him. They headed towards a table and then he smiled at her again and kissed her hand. I couldn't take it anymore. I headed to Peter's place and grabbed my stuff. I then went back to my place and cried my eyes out.

I'd only been with Peter for 2 weeks or so, but they had been a glorious 2 weeks. I had been thinking that we would be together forever. It really hurt to see him fixate on another woman. It hurt a lot. How could he do that to me? He had always put me first and then he just dropped me for another woman. I started to wonder whether or not he was fucking the other woman or not, and I said to myself, "It doesn't matter whether he fucks her or not. We're done."

That was the first time the parallels hit me. Peter had just done exactly what I had done with the smiling man. I was now living in Jason's shoes. I was the partner that was being ignored. The only difference was, I had only been with this man for 2 weeks. How much can that hurt? Not nearly as much as if it was your partner of 8 years obviously.

"Oh Jason, I'm so sorry honey. I'm so sorry." Now I understood why everyone was so upset with me. I totally understood Jason's pain. It had almost been a month since I saw Jason last. I decided to seek him out the next day.

11)

I camped out at Jason's work and waited for him to show up at his car. I watched him get in his car and drive away. I followed him. He drove to an apartment complex and parked. I watched him enter. I followed him. I saw Jason's name on the list of people who lived there. He was in apartment 914. I hung around the entrance way until a couple showed up. They held the door open for me and let me in with a smile. I eventually got my nerve up and knocked on Jason's door. He opened it and stared at me in shock.

"Hi Jason."

"Hi Sharon," he said with a confused look on his face.

"Can I come in?"

He looked undecided for a bit but then he shrugged his shoulders and held the door open for me. He didn't have very much furniture at all.

"How are you doing, Jason?" I asked.

He looked at me and his expression started to harden.

"Fine, just fine Sharon," he almost snarled.

"Look, Jason, I don't want to cause trouble. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I also wanted to say that I now agree with you. What I did was just as bad as actual cheating. I'm so sorry Jason."

His face softened for a second there but it hardened right back up again.

"So are we done now Sharon? You don't have anything else you want to say?"

"Oh Jason, you're hurting so much. I wish you would let me hug you."

"Not going to happen Sharon." His face was getting redder and redder.

"I better go then honey. I still love you, you know."

He got up and held the door open for me.

"Good Bye Sharon, please don't come here again."

"Bye Jason," I said sadly.

Jason had obviously not moved on yet. He was like a time bomb waiting to go off. I cried myself to sleep that night.

12)

The next day I went back to Peter's place. I wanted to see what he had to say for himself. When I got there I found him with the other woman. They were in bed together and they obviously had just finished having sex. The room had that distinctive smell. They were cuddling. I barged in on them.

"Hi Peter, why don't you introduce me to your lady friend?"

Peter grimaced at me and the lady stared at me in shock.

"Who's she?" asked the woman.

"Molly, this is Sharon. Sharon, Molly," said Peter quietly.

Molly lost it. She started screaming at him.

"I thought you were different you asshole." She was bawling uncontrollably. I just stood there and glared at Peter.

Molly stood up and got dressed and stormed out. She was quite beautiful.

"I'll be in the living room Peter. I would like to have a little chat with you."

He sighed and nodded. Eventually he came out and he still looked handsome.

"So Peter, I couldn't help noticing. Molly looks a lot like me."

"Yes, she does Sharon."

He pulled out a drawer and then handed me a framed picture. A younger Peter was dressed in a tuxedo and he was standing next to a beautiful young woman in a wedding dress. She looked just like me. They were both smiling and you could just tell from the picture that they were head over heels in love with each other.

"As you can see, you both look remarkably similar to my ex wife, Allison."

"You both look so happy Peter. What happened?"

"What do you think happened Sharon?"