The Spear of Flame

Instinctively I drew Peter's hand to my breast and let it rest there. His fingers closed over it, softly pressing it through the cloth of my blouse. I tilted my face up to him and he bent over me and kissed me.

It was like no other kiss I had ever known. He parted my lips with his tongue and then thrust it into my mouth. All the long unacknowledged hunger came welling up and I was dragging my body against him. As we broke from the kiss I at last found the courage to speak of what I wanted.

"Make love with me, Peter," I whispered.

"Stephanie said we could use the guest bedroom," he said hoarsely, then taking me by the hand he drew me up and still holding my hand he led me upstairs. Stephanie's bedroom door was ajar I could hear more clearly what they were saying to each other.

Rex was saying over and over, "I love you...I love you," and Stephanie was moaning, "I want you...I need you...don't stop...don't stop..." Then came the outcry just as I had heard it the day before, but this time the words were clear, "Oh God...Oh God..."

We were in the guest bedroom with its soft carpet and double bed. Peter kissed me again and began to remove my blouse. It was broad daylight and Ralph and I had never been naked in each other's presence. Even when copulating with me he had left his pyjamas on and had only lifted up my nightdress, and always we had been in the dark.

Suddenly, for all the intense desire I was feeling, I was reticent. "Don't Peter," I begged, "I'm shy, I've never been naked with a man please, can't we pull the curtains."

"It's all right," he said very tenderly, "I want to see you properly; why try to hide your beauty when I've wanted to see it for so long?"

My blouse was off and he was undoing my bra, and with his hands fondling my naked breasts I had no will to resist.

"You have lovely breasts," he whispered, and bent to kiss a nipple. He lifted me up and carried me to the bed. There he removed my skirt and panties, and I was naked under his eyes.

I watched him as he undressed himself, thinking that perhaps I should have done that for him, but too uncertain to make the move.

I thought he was gorgeous, with his lithe young body and his penis long and hard with the dark skin of its shaft and light purple head. I could see the glitter of a clear liquid oozing from the little slit in the head. Then he was beside me, kissing me, his hand fondling my naked breast.

With Ralph there had never been any foreplay, and it was always as if he wanted to get it over as quickly as possible. With Peter there was no hurry, no struggle to pull on a condom like Ralph. I was ready and longing for him to enter me, but he lingered over me; kissing and sucking my nipples, letting his hand explore me and constantly telling me how lovely I was.

Then his fingers touched and entered my vagina and I could not restrain myself any longer. "Please, come into me, you're driving me out of my mind."

I opened my legs wide to receive him, and then he was over me, the tip of his penis seeking my entrance. "Help me darling," he whispered. I took his penis into my hand, feeling its firmness and throbbing warmth, and guided him into me.

At the last moment, and before he had penetrated properly the angels of conscience seemed to prevail. "No...no...we mustn't," I cried, but it was too late. He had penetrated me and I had no more will to resist. I felt him deep inside me, and there he rested, looking down at me and saying, "I've wanted you for so long, Verity."

Then he was moving in me, slowly, as if relishing me, and I was lost. I gave myself up to him murmuring, "Take me, darling, have all of me."

It was coming, the terrible and the wonderful. I was wide open to him, surrendering myself to him. It started; the beautiful, wondrous yet fearful sensation. "No...no...no..." I cried. Then it overwhelm me and I was at its mercy, "Take me," I cried, and it came and I was whirling down into a deep pit of coloured lights, flashing and consuming me.

Someone cried out, "Oh God, yes...yes...yes..."

There was a hot spear piercing me and then a flood of fiery liquid filled me. I did not know of Peter or anyone except for the All Being. I was at one with time and space, the whole universe seemed to posses me and I heard some one screaming, "I am yours, all yours," then a voice inside me yet all around me said, "I freely give my love."

Then I was falling down to a world of peace and infinite tenderness. I was with Peter again and his eyes looked into mine.

"I love you, Verity," he said "I've loved you for so long."

"Always love me," I heard a voice say. It was mine.

I was in his arms, his penis still inside me, and I knew he was The One.

We lay for long time embracing, his manhood still not withdrawn from me; unlike Ralph who pulled out as soon as he had ejaculated.

"You're so lovely," he said, and I did not protest for I felt lovely; he had made me feel lovely.

Slowly he withdrew from me and lay beside me, his hand on my breast. I put my hand over my vagina and he saw my movement. "That is part of you inside me, Peter," I said, "and I want to keep it as long as possible."

He gave a gentle laugh and said, "There's lots more where that came from."

"Then put it in me," I replied, not expecting him to be able to so soon after he had ejaculated.

Then he was over me again seeking entry. I felt for his penis and found it to be erect. I was still recovering from the shattering orgasm I had experienced, so I lay there yielding to him, not expecting a further orgasm. I was wrong, but this time it was different. Instead of the enormous climax of the previous union I had a series of little orgasms. They came in quick succession, four or five of them, and whereas at the previous climax I seemed to become dissociated from Peter, this time I was intensely aware of him.

My vaginal tunnel was full of his sperm and my lubricant, and as he moved in me there were soft sucking sounds. With each little orgasm I cried out, "Peter...oh Peter," and as he ejaculated he groaned my name, "Verity...Verity" with every ejection of his sperm.

When he had finished he again stayed inside me and was softly kissing my face with butterfly wing touches. When he finally withdrew the melange of our fluids began to run out of me, soaking my thighs and the bed sheet. I wanted to stay in his embrace, but it became too uncomfortable.

"I'll have to go and clean up," I said, "and I don't know what Stephanie will say when she sees the mess we've made in the bed."

He grinned at me and said, "She's used to it; Rex is very potent."

I got off the bed feeling rather fragile but happy and made my way to the bathroom. Under the shower I regretfully removed the cocktail Peter and I had made in my vagina. This was yet another new experience since Ralph always used a condom. As I inserted my fingers into my vagina I could feel how loose and soft it was and was surprised at how difficult it was to remove the sperm that seemed to be reluctant to let go of me.

As I left the bathroom Stephanie, like my self naked, came out of her bedroom. She had a distant dreamy look on her face and seemed very relaxed.

She smiled and asked in a husky voice, "Was it good, darling?"

"It was wonderful," I replied.

"You're not cross with me for setting it up?"

"No, but you might be cross with me when you see the mess in the bed."

She laughed faintly and said, "You should see the bed after Rex and I have had a night together," then she passed on to enter the bathroom. I wondered if Peter and I would ever have a night together.

I entered the bedroom and Peter was lying stretched out on the bed. For a moment I stood looking at him; his firm young body and clear skin, and his penis now lying slack.

"I'd better clean up myself," he said.

"You can't, Stephanie's in the bathroom."

He extended his arms to me and said, "Come here, darling, there's something I want to do to you."

Curious, I went to him and lay down beside him. He began by exploring my face with his fingers. It was rather like a blind person feeling out the contours of the face they cannot see. He went on down my neck and on to my breasts touching me very delicately. His hand moved to my stomach and hips. I made a move to touch him, but he said, "No, just lie still and let me."

His fingers were searching my vulva, parting its lips and then inserting a finger. Then he touched my clitoris and he even pressed a finger gently against my anus and then farther down to stroke my thighs. It was as if he was on a voyage of discovery, feeling every part of me, and it was breathtaking in its loving tenderness. Never in all my life had I been touched like this before.

He had reached my feet then he gently parted my legs to expose my sex organ. I thought for a moment he was going to penetrate me again, but his head was between my legs his hands under my buttocks lifting them up. Then he kissed my genitals.

For a moment I wanted to push him away. I had smelt and tasted my fingers after masturbating, and while I did not find it unpleasant I feared he might. Before I could make a move I felt something soft and warm enter me. I raised my head to see, and realised Peter had pushed tongue into me.

As he moved it in and out of me I had no will or desire to stop him. If he found it unpleasant he certainly didn't show it because he started to lick me with increasing fervour. Suddenly he moved his tongue to my clitoris and I was lost in a mist of wonderful desire.

Then it began; the little jarring twinges that presaged the coming orgasm. I instinctively knew it was going to be a big one and I feared it.

I cried out to him, "Peter don't...don't make me...I don't want to...please stop..."

But he didn't stop and it came rushing upon me. I felt as if I was falling down a long brightly lit tunnel that echoed to my cries of anguish and delight. I no longer felt Peter's tongue, only the throbbing vibrations that seemed to shake my whole body. As with my first orgasm with him I heard a voice crying out that was mine yet not mine; "Take me...take me...take all of me..."

Then the vibrations slowed and I was once more descending on a cloud of love to land softly on a plain of peace. I found that I had been holding Peter's head to me and as I released him his face came up covered with my lubricant.

"I'll see if Stephanie's finished in the bathroom he muttered," and left me.

Ten minutes later he returned and began to dress. "I have to go to lectures this afternoon," he said.

I didn't want him to go and was relieved when he asked, "When can I be with you again?"

We quickly went over days and times and I told him of the door in the garden wall. He kissed me very tenderly and left. I heard him leave with Rex, and I lay back wondering if it had really happened.

Stephanie, now dressed, came and sat on the bed beside me. She looked down at me as I lay there and giving a little laugh she said, "It's hard to believe it's happened when they're gone, isn't it?"

"Yes," I responded, "it was all too wonderful."

She laughed again and pointing to the mess on the bed said, "But the evidence is there, darling. Was it really wonderful?"

"Yes, it was Stephanie. I never knew it could be like that, even after reading the book. The terrible thing is I'm in love."

"What's so terrible about that?"

"What about Ralph?"

"Yes, I had the same trouble over Boris. It was so hard to get into bed with him after Rex, but it passed, and since he hardly ever troubles me for sex I've come to terms with it; you will too eventually."

"Don't you think we'll be punished one day for having so much pleasure?"

"Verity, you're sounding like a faculty cat again. Every time they catch themselves out enjoying something they think they must be sinning. When are you seeing Peter again?"

"Tomorrow afternoon; Ralph will be out and I told Peter to use the garden door. What about Rex?"

"In a couple of days, unfortunately; Boris will be at home all day tomorrow preparing his lectures. That's the trouble with these situations and I could do with Rex again right now.

I got off the bed and stood on slightly trembling legs. As I dressed a worrying thought came to me.

"Stephanie, you don't think the boys will talk about what we're doing, do you?"

"No, I don't think so; I've told Rex I'll murder him if ever tells anyone, but if they're getting what they want with us why should they do anything to spoil it? Of course, there's always the chance that someone gets suspicious; you know, they spot Rex or Peter calling on us, but that's a marginal risk so long as they use the garden doors."

"I hope you're right," I said, but there was still a worm of doubt.

"You know," giggled Stephanie, "I think the illicit nature of what we're doing adds spice to the relationship, don't you, especially doing it under the noses of the faculty cats."

I wasn't so sure about that and being at the stage of total infatuated with Peter, the pleasure of doing it under the noses of the faculty cats or anyone else had not occurred to me. Over a short period of time I had learned a great deal about my sexuality and the profound pleasure of love making and the only concern I had was that it should continue indefinitely. What we were doing might be illicit, but with Peter it seemed just right, and just right in a way I had never imagined before he came into my life.

I suppose for my age I must sound hopelessly ingenuous regarding sex, especially considering the amount of copulating that goes on these days among people years younger than me, but perhaps that was why the revelation of the power of sexual love had struck me with so much force.

That night it was even more difficult to be in bed with Ralph. I wanted Peter beside me, to feel his naked body pressed to mine and his hands exploring me in that delicate way he had. In the morning Ralph complained again about my disturbing his sleep, and very tentatively I suggested that we might sleep in separate beds.

To my surprise he took up this suggestion and extended it. "Well, darling, we're not in the first flush of marriage, and we've got four bedrooms, so why not sleep in separate rooms?"

I hid my delight at his suggestion and said I thought there might be some merit in the idea. I think in fact that this was a suggestion Ralph had wanted to make for some time and my recent night time restlessness had given him an excuse for making it. As for us not being in "the first flush of marriage," I wondered if I'd missed or forgotten something about our relationship since I could recall not a "first flush", if by that he meant some period of wild sexual indulgence.

We talked around the subject for a bit, and eventually settled for Ralph moving into the guest room while I used our present bedroom. Considering what I had in mind either room would have served my purpose since the guest room – a room reserved for visiting lecturers and their spouses, if they had one – had a perfectly adequate double bed. Since the guest room would cease to be the guest room, a double bed had to be purchased for another of the bedrooms.

Thus sleeping arrangements were settled to both our satisfactions and, to get ahead of myself again, Ralph's infrequent approaches for sex became even more infrequent until almost reaching vanishing point.

Peter arrived at the appointed time next day and another time of exploration took place, but this time with me as the explorer. He had done such lovely things to me that I wanted to reciprocate.

I emulated his approach, touching him as if I was a blind person but the most significant moment was when I arrived at his penis. The only times I had touched his or Ralph's penises had been to guide them into me; beyond that they were a bit of a mystery to me.

"What can I do to it?" I asked Peter.

He pointed out that the crown of his penis was a bit like my clitoris, very sensitive. He placed my fingers round his foreskin and said, "If you flip it over the crown it will produce very pleasurable sensations for me." With that he moved my hand to produce the desired effect.

Fairly quickly I went solo and, I fear, I got a trifle over enthusiastic. Too late Peter protested and suddenly sperm shot out of his urethra. "Don't stop," he yelped, and I had the pleasure of seeing his semen pumping fiercely out of him as he writhed under my ministrations.

When he had finished he said, "Sorry about that, darling, but I was close to the edge to start with, but give me a few minutes and I'll be all right again. He indicated that by "all right" he meant he would have another erection. He was as good as his word and that led to another lesson.

It had never occurred to me that sexual intercourse could be performed in any way other than with the man lying on top of the woman. What I learned was that the woman could sit astride the man and move on him. This had the double advantage of Peter being able to easily fondle both my breasts, and I would regulate the depth of his penetration, its pace and at the same time I could control the angle of penetration.

This brought on another shattering out in space orgasm that left me joyfully weak as I leaned limply over Peter when it was done.

"There are no words...no words..." I moaned. I was striving to tell Peter how exquisite it had been, but as I said, there were no adequate words to describe it. It was then that I realised that there was a third advantage to this position. I could keep Peter in me as long as I wished, and the mere fact of this physical union with him was a delight in itself. Now I understood properly what the bible meant when it talked of a man and a woman being "one flesh." I really felt as if we belonged like that.

Before me and yet to be experienced were the delights of rear entry, especially when, after we had orgasmed and we remained united and fell asleep like that; and there was the experience of taking Peter's penis into my mouth and letting him ejaculate into it. I think the satisfaction in this was the knowledge I was giving him pleasure.

That was how it was between us, each wanting to give the other pleasure just as we desired to receive.

For two months we went on, coming together whenever we could. It was wonderful when Ralph went off for a week to the National Assembly of the Church and Peter spent every night with me, slipping away at dawn to his room in the college.

It was all so idyllic, perhaps too idyllic. If it was like being in the Garden of Eden, then it must be remembered, there is always a snake there. The snake struck and in a way its bite was sweet. I hurried to Stephanie's and broke the news.

"Stephanie, I think I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God, aren't you on the pill?"

"No."

"Verity, you idiot...if I'd known I'd never have...what are you going to do?"

"I've just told you, I'm going to have a baby."

"I know that, but what are you going to do about having a baby?"

"Have it of course."

"Hell's bells Verity, what has Peter got to say about it and...my God, what about Ralph when he finds out."

"I don't know, I haven't told them yet."

"Verity," she said decisively, "you've got to get rid of it."

"Have an abortion!"

"Yes."

"I will not. I'm going to have this baby, I want it."

"You're mad. It'll all come out, what you and Peter have been doing, it's bound to, and the faculty cats will have a wonderful time running you off campus. You're surely not going to try and pass it off as Ralph's, are you. You told me yourself he always uses a condom – I know condoms fail sometimes - but I don't think you'll get away with that."

She had made me angry and I snapped at her, "I've no intention of trying to get away with it. Probably it will mean the end of our marriage, but I'm not sure that it would be a bad thing. He only wants me for domestic reasons and I need more than that."