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"Sure, when ever you want, but its our secret, remember?" She'd nod some and close her eyes, coming down from her high. Dan excused himself after that and went to his bathroom to furiously jack himself off. He didn't think he could get any harder, but when she asked to try it again, that was all he could do from touching himself. What he really wanted to do was to take her, but he knew that was out of the question. From the way she reacted, the looks that passed her face in the mirror, that had to be her first time enjoying herself in such a way. Damn! He felt like a creep but he wanted to watch it again.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 13 years agoRead each of your short stories, in my humble opinion, you did a fine job. Each was direct and to the point providing just enough detail to let the reader's imagination take over. I like that you left the story line open in The Stacks and look forward to your continuing tale. Keep writing, your style will improve with each submission.
GDesmondalmost 13 years agoEasy with the comments, boys...especially when hiding behind Anonymous. The mistakes are minor; we all get in so much of a hurry to post our stories that they go unnoticed. Personally Java, rather than wait on the sequel, I would have preferred to read how excited Rose was for her next experience on the Sybian - sans bikini bottom and higher numbers, maybe a 70? The sequel then could have been entitled: "Rose Takes 100". BTW, this is one fantastic machine! Keep writing; you are doing well.
Gayle
GDesmondalmost 13 years agoEasy with the comments, boys...especially when hiding behind Anonymous. The mistakes are minor; we all get in so much of a hurry to post our stories that they go unnoticed. Personally Java, rather than wait on the sequel, I would have preferred to read how excited Rose was for her next experience on the Sybian - sans bikini bottom and higher numbers, maybe a 70? The sequel then could have been entitled: "Rose Takes 100". BTW, this is one fantastic machine! Keep writing; you are doing well.
Gayle
Corpse_rideralmost 13 years agoThis is an enjoyable read. The author needs to pay closer attention to tenses and grammar before submitting the work, as other readers have commented. However, inspite of these forgivable errors this is pleasingly well written, with good characterisation and competent dialogue. Next chapter please.
Anonymousalmost 13 years agoYou do a great job building the anticipation. I would love to read more!
