The Story Of My Tattoo

This is a true story I teased out of a woman in a series of emails after she responded to my personal profile sharing about my interest in group sex and its effects afterward. She commented how my curiosity of the ‘next day’ piqued her interest and she decided to email me. She said I could post this. I took the liberty of naming her.

**********

To this day I cannot believe what happened to me. I have never told a soul and I never even went back to where I had worked, not even to get my stuff. In fact, it took me about a week to clean myself so that I could leave my apartment.

My name is Sara. I’m a mix between Vietnamese/Cambodian and French. My mother, who was French, worked with a group of international peacekeepers and succumbed to what is frequently called ‘disaster sex’ after a flood disaster had killed about 3,500 people.

I never met my father. My mother found out she was pregnant when she had returned home. She decided to keep me, but after two years put me up for adoption. I don’t know why. That is how I ended up in the United States with a wonderful family who raised me, took me to church, gave me a private education, put me through college and loved me as a daughter. I have no memory of my mother at all, only what I was told.

I was working in a large bank, processing loans. It was this enormous room filled with low walled cubicles and fluorescent lighting. I shared my cube with one other woman, Jessica, who was friends with Matthew. He also worked at the bank.

I have long black hair, am very small, and look very Asian. I was always painfully shy and every time Matthew came to the cube to talk with Jessica I could not even bear to look at him, but he frequently and openly stared at me. He had such intense eyes. He had jet-black hair, which he cut very short, and a narrow face. He was not tall, but he was much taller than me. He was an impeccable dresser, and I really liked that about him because so was I. He stood very straight, very proper. He talked quietly.

After many months I would say ‘hi’ to him when he said ‘hi’ to me, and I would tip my head down with my hand to my head as I did so, because my eyes would begin to blink furiously. I could see him smiling as I ran away. I think I liked him, I don’t know anymore, but it was becoming impossible. My heart would begin racing as I left my apartment for work knowing that he was there. We rode up the elevator one time, he and I, I wanted to talk to him. I asked him what he liked, and he said music. I said me too.

And he asked, “Do you like any local bands?”

I said, “Yes I do.” Which was true because I would go to clubs with my girlfriends.

"Which ones?" He looked at me expectant.

My head was empty, “I don’t know their names.”

He laughed. He had a way of tipping his head up when he laughed, and the air went out of me when he did it this time.

Silence.

He asked, “Do you have any tattoos?”

I said, “No. Why?”

Just then the doors opened, “See you later” and he got off the elevator. As the doors were closing he said, "You look like someone who would have a tattoo."

This was distressing to me. In my church our pastor would say that tattoos were a stain on the soul. I thought about this the rest of the day.

He came to my cube one evening, a Friday. I can remember putting my things into my enormous bag. Small little me standing there in my tan slacks and flowery top, and he stepping up to me, standing above me. I can feel the weight of the bag on my shoulder as I looked up at him. It is for me my strongest memory - Frozen in Time.

He stood before me, smiled, he was so mysterious, he had such dark eyes. He was wearing all black. I do not remember him wearing that earlier in the day.

He said, “Some friends and I are going to go to The Club tonight. Would you like to go?”

I hesitated. He added, “It’s not like a date or anything.”

I said, “Yes.” I thought I would faint. I kept nodding my head.

I gave him my information. He said, “I’ll pick you up at about nine.”

I kept nodding my head.

I had not been out with a boy in a very long time. It is funny, I lived among so many white men and they see Asian girls and think that we are so exotic and unobtainable. What they do not realize is that we feel much the same about them. It is an interesting chemistry. But I was so painfully shy and it was read as being aloof. Unobtainable. I felt cursed. I had many girlfriends, I had a few boyfriends. But not in a long time just then.

So that evening, I really fixed up. I was excited. He said it was not a date, but I felt like - yes it was a date.

I wore a wonderful miniskirt. It was red. It was not a schoolgirl skirt, but it had some pleats and sort of had that look. I wore white socks and black chunky shoes. I wore a silk top that showed my midriff. I brushed my hair until it shined. I put red lipstick on. My breasts are considered large, but they aren’t really. I am not quite a C cup, but everyone expects less of an Asian girl, so they get more! My boyfriends always told me how wonderful my breasts are, and I wore my best top to show them off tonight. Light fabric and a deep V down the front. White, showing off my ‘exotic’ skin - Ha! I decided not to wear a bra. That decision changed the course of the evening for me.

He came right on time and picked me up, looked at me with a smile and said come on. He had a nice car, I don’t remember what it was. I don’t even remember its color. I remember so little of riding with him then, I was so nervous! It’s funny how I remember at the office; but nothing then.

He took me to his apartment where he said we would meet his friends. It was an old warehouse space. The walls were limestone and brick. The floors wood, and the ceiling had metal, lights just hanging down from the metal, such a high ceiling. It went on and on. And it was dark, this wonderful open expanse. The room had these clusters of little chairs, sofas, tables all around. Laying on the sofa was a woman watching TV.

She did not even look up at me. He saw me stare at her and said, “She is my room mate. . . She’s a model.”

He took a magazine, French Vogue I think, and put it in my hand. “Page 35. I’ll put on some music.”

I walked over near to the cluster of furniture where she lay, I could hear the music. And I turned to page 35. I looked at the pictures and up at her. It was her. I stopped. Did not want to get too close.

She didn’t move, just said, “I took those in Paris.”

I said, “My mother is French.”

And she just sort of looked at me.

Three others arrived then, and it included my cube mate. Oh, I was relieved and I went over and stood by her.

“Jessica!”

Matthew came back with some wine in a very large bottle and a bunch of glasses. Nothing matched. He poured them all on a table for no one in particular. There were only six of us and he poured maybe fifteen glasses. The table had no chairs around it.

I took a glass and took a large sip. It was TERRIBLE! I said, “What is this?”

He said, “I don’t know.”

I drank the whole glass just so I would not have to taste it anymore. Everyone took a glass and was drinking. Listening to the music. Matthew's roommate was still watching TV but the music was so loud you could not hear anything but music. We talked loud.

I said to Jessica, “Have you been here before?”

She said, “Hmmm. We went to the same college.”

I nodded. I had never asked her that before. I never knew. She eyed me, said in my ear, “You like Matthew don’t you?”

I flushed immediately, felt hot. “No.” I said. She eyed me.

More people came and I had another glass of wine, drank it quickly and felt more relaxed. Matthew came into the room with three large metal jars; they said ‘Flour’ ‘Sugar’ ‘Coffee’, and started to take out plastic bags.

I could smell it. Marijuana!

“We aren’t supposed to.” My heart was patting away.

Matthew came up to me, I was standing next to Jessica. He said, “How do you want to feel?”

I said, “What.”

“Happy, I have a Columbian Green; Giggles - a nice Canadian; Mellow - a really dark Thai.”

I said, “This one says coffee.”

And he said “Something like that. I spend my money on cheap wine and lots of good marijuana.”

Jessica said, “He knows his marijuana. He’s like a connoisseur.”

“Of Marijuana??” I whispered to Jessica. “We aren’t supposed to...”

She said, “No one cares.”

I was watching everybody. Matthew was now rolling joints for no one in particular. He looked at me. “What do you want?” More people were coming in, milling about.

He had such a wonderful smile, and I was feeling more relaxed. Had a cup of the awful wine in my hand.

I said, “I want giggles!”

He said, “Giggles it is.”

Marijuana is very strange. When I drink I can feel it right away. I can feel the difference, how it affects me. But marijuana I never notice any change. I always feel ‘normal.’ I might not remember things so well, things might strike me as funny. But my ability to self assess is impaired, obliterated. I smoked that joint and felt just fine, I was having lots of fun. There were people all around, and then we all got in cars and went to The Club.

I had never been there before. It was really big, really loud. There were so many people, and these enormous screens showing videos. Bright colors flashing everywhere and I was smiling and standing close to Matthew as we went in. He lay his hand on the small of my back as I walked ahead of him. I remember that so well. His touch. He was wearing that all black outfit, and just about everyone was wearing the same thing. I really stood out in this little red skirt, white top and white socks. I looked around and felt like a light bulb. I was holding my hands to myself.

Matthew looked at me, pointing, “Black lights.”

I was a light bulb!

We all started to dance. Someone asked me if I wanted a drink. I said, No. I had enough. And the music was wonderful. I started to dance and these two boys started to dance near me and around me. I felt their attentions and it really felt good. You couldn’t talk so I just smiled.

Matthew came up and put a drink in my hand. Jessica was with him and he just said, “Come on.”

I followed and we sort of walked up near to the stage and then went off to one side through a line in one of the walls, went ‘back stage’ which was actually to the side of the band that was playing. You could see the band there playing from the side.

I said, “What are we doing.”

“I know the band.”

There were these platforms and large white sheets that had bright theater lights shining on them from the back, facing toward the dance floor. There were like five of them. Jessica crawled up on one of the platforms and started to dance. Her shadow was reflected in sharp relief on the white sheet and you could see it, her Silhouette, from the other side. It looked really cool. So from the dance floor this shadow of the dancer.

There was a ledge all around this back area and it was lined with poured drinks. I set my glass on the ledge and said, “What are those?”

“For the band. You can have as many as you want. No one keeps track.” He took my hand, “Come here.”

And he led me to the other platform that was next to Jessica. I hesitated. They were only about three feet high. But my skirt was short and you would be able to see up my skirt. I wore white panties and was thinking that. He lifted me up onto the platform, and I loved the way his hands felt on my hips. I started to giggle. “What are you doing.”

“Dance,” he said.

And he got up on the platform with me. I could see my shadow on the sheet, I knew how my shadow was being projected out the other side onto the dance floor. Jessica was dancing now with another boy, and another couple was next to me who I didn’t know.

I was giggling again. “This is crazy!”

“You like this.”

I nodded. I liked Matthew. I said, “I need another drink.”

He went to the ledge and took a different drink from the one I had set down. I sipped. It was strong. “What is this?”

“Yaggermeister.”

I had never head of that before and sipped it down.

And we danced. I moved and watched my shadow. Matthew took out another joint, you could see him light it on the shadow of the screen. I was so happy. My head spinning. The noise. “Want another.”

I took the joint and inhaled. It rushed through my blood. “What is this one?”

“Uh, what?”

“Mellow or Giggles?”

He laughed. “You ask a lot of questions. I don’t know.”

I laughed some more.

He said, “I like your laugh you should laugh more.”

I giggled again and covered my face. It was all so funny.

After awhile someone went up to Matthew and then he went over and whispered something to Jessica and then came back.

He looked at me, “They want you and Jessica to take your tops off.”

“What!?”

“Out there," He pointed through the white screen to the dance floor. "They want you to take your tops off.”

I was confused.

“Jessica said she didn’t care. She would if you would.”

My eyes grew wide. I understood.

I looked at Jessica. She was smiling at me, holding the hand of the boy she was with.

“They can’t see anything.”

I smiled, “You can!”

“Well yeah, but...”

And I lifted my white top off, the whole motion reflected against the screen, and I could hear the crowd on the other side of the sheet cheer. I threw my top down next to the platform and started dancing, turning myself so the outline of my bare breasts reflected on the screen, and then facing Matthew. Jessica followed, another cheer. The band looked over at us and gave a thumbs up.

I was looking at her. It was so weird being in this building looking at her with her top off. She was bigger than me, her breasts were swinging around as she danced. She was smiling. She caught my eye and waved. I waved back.

“I need another drink,” and Matthew brought another yaggermeister. I loved the way he was staring at me. So attentive. I hadn't been with a boy in so long.

You could totally see that I had no top on now on the screen. It was a very smooth surface. And when I get nervous or aroused my nipples really point out. The image on the screen was amazing. It was me. I knew everyone could see me. My heart was racing and I really started to dance, lifting my hands over my head, rubbing myself and wiggling, lifting my skirt up around my waist. I loved the way it looked on that screen. Matthew could see my panties when I did that. I leaned in close to Matthew.

He put his hands around my waist. I could feel his hands on my bare skin. I looked down at his legs my hair hanging in front of my face and then up into his eyes. He just was smiling, looking back and dancing. I was getting pretty tired and said I needed to sit down for a while and stepped off the platform and put my top back on. Matthew jumped down and said there was an area upstairs that was nice.

I said ok. Jessica followed us, she was slowly putting her top on as we went up these really narrow steep steps. I was really feeling tipsy, and I followed both of them. We climbed and climbed. I have no idea where we went or where we ended up. We were deep inside this thrumming building, the bass shaking the floor. It was a room with a low ceiling. Matthew took my hand, “We are right above the band.”

The walls were black and there were candles. There were three sofas. Old sofas. Everything smelled like cigarettes. An odd shaped glass table between the sofas. I was straightening myself out and sitting down. There were not very many people here and it was quieter, except the pounding of the bass. Jessica was sitting next to me.

She leaned in, “Having fun?”

“Crazy!”

There were drinks all over the table and I just took one. When Matthew came back I started to rub the nape of his neck and he leaned in and kissed me. It was just a nice soft little kiss.

“How you feeling?” he said.

“Great.” I took another drink. A shot of something. He got up and left.

Jessica took my hand, I looked at her. "Want a cigarette?" She held one out to me.

"No, I don't smoke."

She lit it and took a drag. "Neither do I."

Matthew came back and sat back next to me. He leaned in and said, “You know how to give a blow job.”

I was surprised, and paused. What kind of question? I looked at Jessica but she didn't hear. In my mind I was thinking I can’t say no because then that means I have never done it before. I started to laugh, and I said, “Yes.”

I started to turn toward him. When he said, “Someone said they would give you a hundred dollars if you gave them a blow job.”

“What?”

“A hundred dollars for a blow job from you. I said I’d ask.”

I looked at Jessica, Jessica heard this part, just shrugged.

At that moment, I was feeling so confused. I liked Matthew. I felt sort of betrayed. But I loved dancing in front of that screen, loved having my top off. I loved looking at Jessica without her top. I was feeling very aroused. Could feel my cheeks burning. I hadn’t had sex in over a year. And I was getting so incredibly aroused. Blow Job.

I said, “Ok.”

I took another sip of my drink, and watched Matthew wander off. The music was louder now, or seemed louder. My heart was pounding in my throat.

“Have you ever done this before?” I said to Jessica.

“Sometimes.”

I said, “Stay here,” and took her hand.

In fact three guys came up. One standing at the front, he had his hand out. There was a hundred dollar bill.

I said, “What’s your name?”

“Bill.”

He was so nervous. He was so thin. He had long blonde hair, and big eyes.

“You want a blow job Bill?” He was nodding his head and I took the money in my hand and lay it on the table.

“Ok.”

Matthew got out of the way, and I turned myself on the sofa so my back was to Jessica. The boy came and sat himself down with his back to the sofa and I watched him open his pants and take his penis out. It stood straight up out of a shock of brown hair.

It was surreal. How did I get here? I couldn’t believe it.

He was looking at me then, and said. “This is ok?”

I pulled my hair out of my face and nodded. I was going to have a cock in my mouth.

I bent over him and let his cock slide in my wet mouth, licking it with my tongue. I felt him stiffen and breath in. Hold his breath, and I closed my lips around him and bobbed my head up and down. The touch of a cock in my mouth was so wonderful. Completely unexpected. And as I gave Bill his blowjob Jessica started to rub the small of my back. Soft slow twirls of her fingertips, as she reached her whole hand up under my top. I loved the way her hand felt on my back.

I kept sucking and sliding on his cock and could feel him trying to pump his mouth into me. I cannot have a cock in my mouth too far and I remember at one point lifting my head up and looking at him and saying, “You hold still.”

It was like a command and he didn’t move a muscle after that. I went faster and faster on him, he put a hand on top of my head and I felt him start to cum, it was filling my mouth fast. I had never swallowed before but didn’t want to get anything on my clothes. So I started to drink.

Jessica was still behind me and she had reached her hand around. I could feel her caressing my breast, holding me in her hand, squeezing. She held my nipple in her fingers, twirling it around and pinching me. I have such sensitive nipples and as I drank Bill’s cum, her hand on me was getting me very aroused. I looked down into Bill’s lap when I was finished, and it looked so funny, there was this bright red ring around the base of his cock from my lipstick.