tagHumor & SatireThe Strangest, Worst, and Best... Ch. 02

The Strangest, Worst, and Best... Ch. 02


The Strangest, Worst, and Best, Halloween I've Ever Had

Part II ~ The Surprises Continue

We headed back around the corner to the back yard and to the warmth of the fire. And when we did my fiancé finally did notice the other girl's outfit and sneakily pointed out a few others that were barely dressed across the fire pit from us. There was an older bald, fat guy wearing nothing but a leather pouch with a zipper straight down the front...it was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen—or so I thought...

The hosts called us all inside to get comfortable before the games started. Some were playing pool others talking on the sofas. The rest of us who were just coming in made our way around and took spots on the floor...with 40 people or so in one small living room it was definitely standing room only. But we felt we had gotten the best spot right in front of the roaring fire. One of the hosts made an announcement that if we needed more drink or to take a leak to go now before the fun and games began.

There was a bathroom very close to us but of course the line was a mile long so I snuck upstairs remembering that the one we'd seen on our little tour was much larger anyway. Curiously the girl that had tried talking with us at the fire pit followed me up. We waited for 2 others and then when I went in she asked if she could go at the same time as me...that she only wanted to check out her hair and makeup in the mirror. What the hell I thought who gives a damn...I was buzzing pretty well by then anyway.

After I peed and washed my hands I was standing beside her messing with my hair when she leaned in and kissed me. And I mean really kissed me...even putting her hands under my skirt to grab my ass and pull me into her bare breasts. She was nice and all, but in her 40's and life didn't seem to have been to kind to her...she definitely showed her age through her face. Not that I mind women kissing me, I am bi after all but I was in my early 20's and at 5'3" and 100 lbs with 36DD's to sport I was in the best shape of my life and knew I could do much better than that. In fact I was waiting on a call from my female girl-toy of the time to give her directions to this crazy event. So I told the 40ish red head that we'd better hurry downstairs so we didn't miss anything.

Once I was back in my spot on the floor beside my fiancé I told him what had happened. And he just started to laugh.

"Guess I better go with you the next time...all these nuts around here you're liable to be attacked!" He said with a proud grin.

The games were about to begin, the woman of the hosting couple took the floor and told us that she had a big surprise for us that evening...strippers...one male one female...completely nude...and we'd better get out our dollar bills.

"Well...the night is looking up..." I said to my fiancé. "Hope she's a hottie!"

Unfortunately the guy went on first by himself. Now this was all new to me. I had never seen a male dancer in person before...much less one that was completely nude. He was skinny as could be...kind of a beanpole and not at all what I considered cute. And he seemed REALLY gay.

Remember the old fat man outside that was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen before...well I was wrong. Watching this stick boy who looked like he had aids or did too much cocaine dance around shaking his pencil dick in everyone's faces was worse. Especially since he was completely limp. He did this dumb little hip thing that made it arc around in a complete circle making disgusting slapping noises when it hit each side of his body. The funny thing is that the redhead from the bathroom was really impressed by it all and as she shoveled money at him he pinched and rolled her bare nipples. They sat together making out the rest of the night as a matter of fact. At one point she was on top of him rolling around on the hosts carpet. I thought they were going to fuck right there.

The revulsion behind me and another drink down I had my fingers crossed for the girl to be hot...and she was. Long blonde hair swinging as she pranced around. Money started getting thrown on the floor everywhere. I hadn't gotten mine out yet because I SO desperately did not want Mr. Limp Peter guy to try and dance in my face.... yuck!

But out of all the 40 odd people in the room and all the others that had money laying on the floor in front of them...she spotted me grinned a devilish little grin and came over and danced for me. She leaned down to kiss my check and whispered that I was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. And she loved my costume.

She danced around for others and them when it came time for her main attraction in the center of the floor she grabbed a can of whipped cream, a bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup...and my hand ...on my knees she lead me out into the middle of the floor in front of all these strangers...but she could tell I was bi a mile away...if you are you just can...it's like we send off some weird vibe or something.

She had me lick the chocolate and whip cream off her like she was a human sundae. The old, fat bald guy was about to loose it and he started throwing hundred dollar bills for me to get naked in the floor with her...as drunk as I was I was not gonna have pictures of that show up on the internet the next day!

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