tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersThe Struggle Ch. 02

The Struggle Ch. 02


Author's Note: This is the fourth story in the chain "A game within a game."


Rob - main character

Helena - his wife

Marion - widow; very much in love with Rob

Cathy - friend (psychiatrist)

Kim - friend (local doctor)

Kate - sister of Helena

Carmen - friend; member of the circle (women society)

Bridget - friend; owner of a theater shop (- and more mature items)

Michelle - friend

Lisa - owner of a bridal shop

Olga - friend; member of the circle

Helga - friend of Olga

Jenny - Rob's ex-wife

Sylvia - member of Helena's security organization

Nicky and Inca - Rob's Doberman dogs

Reader, this story is the follow-up of 'a game within a game part 1-2-3'. Actually it's part 4, but the title didn't cover the contents anymore.


Sunday morning.

He awakened early; there were no sounds to be heard. He still felt his arse, it was a bit sore but he had to admit, when the dildo disappeared from his arse, he had felt a bit empty. It had been fun actually. He would thank them for setting it through...

He looked at his watch; 06:30 and it was Sunday. Still he got out of bed and took a hot shower. He had strange feelings; he lived with four women in one house and yet felt lonely sometimes. Again he thought of the time with Jenny, that she had cheated on him with other women, but he didn't know and in his ignorance he was happy.

They had not pulled him in; he had done it to them. Who was the caring person? Who was disregarded again? He grumbled a bit. No, from now on he would be more selfish.

He took his dogs and went outside. He immediately noticed a parked car with a lonely figure in it. He decided to ignore him or her, he had enough of that. He wasn't followed. In a fast pace he went to the forest and there again he saw Michelle's. He let his dogs go and soon he heard them barking out of joy, they had obviously met their buddy Boris.

However, he wasn't so very keen to meet her but still he had to watch his dogs, so he went to the creek and saw the three dogs running through the water.

He saw Michelle sitting on the fallen tree again and she waved to him but he did not come closer. She noticed, stood up and gradually walked towards him.

"Good morning, you are early," Michelle greeted him.

Rob wished her also a good morning, with a neutral voice.

"Are you angry at me?" Michelle asked.

He saw Michelle was getting a red color on her face. She still had some decency in her , he thought.

"I'm sorry Rob," she answered crestfallen, "I should have told you from the start. It was unfair but it was not on purpose, believe me. I realized only later who you were. I hope we still can be friends."

"Friends?" Rob mocked, "I have enough Mistresses as 'friends'. I can't handle one more."

"I'm not you're Mistress," Michelle answered, speaking softly.

"And you will never be," Rob said rigidly. "And now I will make my normal rounds," and Rob whistled to his dogs.

"Can I come along, Rob?" Michelle asked softly.

Rob looked at her. "You're behavior is so totally different from other Mistresses that I know, and yet you will become the head Mistress? I thought you would be more imperative."

"There is a difference between being friendly and polite towards a friend, and being the Mistress for a submissive," Michelle said.

"I am neither," Rob said defiantly.

"Aren't you? I thought we were going to be friends," Michelle said with a soft tone in her voice, yet impishly.

"And what do you propose? Would you want me to introduce you to my circle of friends? I don't know anything about you," Rob answered, still hostile.

Michelle suddenly started to cry; she leaned against a tree and covered her head. Her shoulders were shaking, Rob recognized her agony, this wasn't about him, this was bigger and he stepped towards her and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him. She turned and kept crying, but now rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sure you are not crying about me. What is the matter, Michelle?"

With a broken voice she said, "It is about you, but also about other things, like the responsibility. Do you think I want this? It was forced on me, I was 'volunteered' by people in the group that they call 'elected', but not because of the power that I wield, or that I even wanted it. No, they just decided I had to be their new Queen. You know, as a Mistress I am popular. I look good," she looked at Rob to see if he agreed with that.

Rob nodded and said, "Yes, you are gorgeous."

"And I am also a good Mistress, I can be a very severe Mistress for the pain-sluts, but mostly I see myself rather being a play partner, one who gives and receives."

"Sounds familiar," Rob remarked drily.

"I just want to have fun, without all that - stuff. The problems, the inauguration, all obligations to my fellow Mistresses, I don't want it, but they are pressuring me."

"Who are they?" Rob asked curiously.

"Powerful people, rich people, otherwise bored people, I think a lot of them are just interested in the kinky stuff, and not what the play is meant to be."

"You sound sincere," Rob admitted, "What about your submissives? Don't you have friends among them who can help protect you against those who are after you?"

"You have no idea Rob, how powerful some of these men are. I can't resist them; I'm so tired with all of the fighting."

"For a Mistress, you sure do cry a lot," Rob said harshly.

Michelle's face shadowed again, and she turned away from Rob and her shoulders shuddered. Rob knew he was not being friendly to her, but she was a woman about his age and she should learn to just say no - just as she had said to him when they had first met.

He went to her, took her head in his hands and kissed her wet face and pressed her against his, caressing her long hair. She relaxed a bit, and when they walked back to her car, they held hands. Rob felt a lot of pity for her. As they arrived at her car and she had Boris jump into the back seat, she kissed Rob, this time he didn't back off and he kissed her back. She could not let him go and held him in her arms, resting her head against his shoulders.

"Hold me Rob; please hold me for a few more moments. I feel so alone," she whispered. "Her as well as me," Rob thought, he had the same thought just this morning.

Finally she let him go, looked him in the eyes and gave him another kiss. "Goodbye Rob," she said softly and went to leave.

"Wait," Rob said, "I don't even have your address and phone no." Rob received it and told her, "I do care for you, Michelle," and with a soft smile on her face she finally drove off.

Rob walked back, very slowly, thinking about this strange meeting. Michelle didn't just kiss him, this was a passionate kiss. The others would not like it, not at all. He knew Helena was tolerant, but this woman was going a bit far. He sighed; he wouldn't encourage Michelle any further. Maybe Helena would pity her. He decided not to tell anyone about his meeting this morning, at least, not about the kiss.

When he came home, they were all downstairs in the living room. The TV screen was on, Helena was busy in the kitchen, Kim and Cathy were sitting on the couch just wearing their nightgowns and negligees and Marion was upstairs, making up their beds.

When he greeted Helena, she came up to him and kissed him. Suddenly she stiffened and with accusing eyes she said "You smell of a perfume I don't recognize."

Rob knew he had to tell her and said, "I met Michelle again, while walking with the dogs. She kissed me when we said goodbye, so I guess that's the perfume you smell."

"You seem to be each day getting more popular with women. Did you have a rendezvous with her?"

"No, of course not. She walks sometimes with her dog at the same place where I walk, and yes, we walked together and talked. It appears she doesn't want to be head Mistress at all, but she is being pushed to do it by powerful people, and she told me about how she felt about it."

"And she kissed you afterwards?" Helena asked suspiciously.

"She was crying, and I had to comfort her," Rob said softly speaking.

"I should have known, you make women cry. What did you say to her?"

"I treated her a bit harshly, saying she should grow up, not knowing her despair about the whole thing. She really doesn't want it. So, now you know all."

"Did you make coffee, Helena?" He wanted to change the subject and went to the kitchen to fetch coffee and breakfast.

Helena had followed him and asked "Rob, there is nothing going on between you and Michelle?"

"No, I assure you, I comforted her, she was feeling very lonely and in distress. I felt pity for her, after my harsh words. This is really everything that there is to tell."

"Are you planning to bring her into the circle?"

Rob looked at Helena, "What do you think?"

"I don't know, I didn't meet her."

"I'm in doubt about that," Rob admitted.

"In the past the circle was larger, we were sometimes ten to twelve women,but most of them disappeared after they found a new partner. We were the losers, we comforted each other, but couldn't find a husband or friend until you came," Helena said.

"And are you happy?" Rob asked.

"You are not easy going,I have to admit. You often make me cry and while I try to do my best to please you, I sometimes don't know what you really are thinking. But, I am often happy with you, not always, but most of the time. And I like it here, I must admit. It feels normal; we behave as a normal family, especially when we are just the two of us."

"It bothers me sometimes, like this morning, even with four women I felt lonely."

Helena was shocked. "You felt lonely? I thought we had a great time together last night? We had made so many preparations and we even had to drill a hole in the ceiling by ourselves while you were away with the dogs. We had to plan it carefully."

"I know - and I thank you for the great time I had. But afterwards I felt cold and I was lying alone. Kim and Cathy were lying next to another, so did you and Marion, while you had both promised me I would be in between. I ended up covering you all up and then I went to sleep in the other bedroom, and yes, I felt lonely," and while he was talking of his grief Rob walked out on her abruptly, leaving her flabbergasted. Helena had tears in her eyes, she wasn't even aware of what had happened last night, she simply was tired and went to sleep. Some things just happened.

Rob had put down his breakfast and coffee on the table and went upstairs. He undressed and stepped into the bathroom as he needed to be alone. What he just had said to Helena had been bothering him the whole morning, just yesterday he had announced to them all things had to change and yet, not much had changed. Yes, Helena made coffee and Marion fixed the beds, but there was still no feeling that anything had changed. The worst thing of all was he still felt locked out. He soaped his hair and started to shower. While he was rubbing his hair and rinsed it, the door opened and Helena stepped next to him, kissed him and said "I'm listening to you and I understand. Tonight it will be just you and me, nobody else. We are married, and the rest don't really matter. They are here with the courtesy of us, but you have to feel good about it. If I have to choose between you or Marion,then I say that is not even a choice, you are my husband."

Rob glanced at Helena, the water flowed over her long brown hair and over her face, but he knew her better and he saw her large eyes wide open, and he knew she was in distress. He finally had made her listen and to understand him, and he took her in his arms and kissed her. He was holding her, just like he held Michelle this morning, yet he didn't feel guilty. He loved Helena, and while he had comforted Michelle this was totally different.

"Another thing, you were all talking yesterday and maybe even debating about getting nipple rings. I hope they all understood that I won't get nipple rings, under no circumstances. Marion knows this but do Kim and Cathy, too?" Again he wanted to talk about something else. He was not very good in talking about his feelings.

"Yes, you will have to answer their questions about it but I think you are right. It obviously means nothing to you and it was just an idea yesterday and we'll need to talk about it as a group. Our new wedding must be a special occasion and maybe we can give some sort of party. If we tell Marion it will be like that, she won't be too disappointed about not taking nipple rings. We will just tell her that it must be some kind of a real marriage, and we'll invite some guests to make it more official. I was thinking about the members of the circle and maybe some other old friends, who are open to our lifestyle."

"What a good idea, I wasn't sure how to tell her and didn't want to make her upset and by saying it like this it makes a lot of sense. Speaking about those nipple rings, you may know this as well, it can go wrong in terms of the placing of the rings. We all can have troubles afterwards, wounds what don't heal, or that certain places are painful for a very long time. Not to mention that I seriously hate rings on my body!"

Rob continued on again, with changing the subject. "What about Michelle? What do I say to her when I meet her again? Should I tell her about our circle?"

"That is OK Rob; bring her here if she wants. I think she will need new friends. I trust you will behave like one."

"Of course, but I cannot promise anything. Maybe she is too upset, time will tell."

After the shower Rob rubbed Helena and she used her towel on Rob and this simple act made them feel very close again.

He walked downstairs with a fast pace and entered the living room, where Marion, Kim and Cathy now were watching some TV shows. Helena came behind him, she took his hand.

Rob said with some tension in his voice, "May I have your attention?

First of all I want to thank you all, and especially Marion for your gift last night. I must admit, I was afraid at the start, I still remember that awful thing that Jenny used on me, but this went pretty well. It was hot, it was sexy and pfff..., I still get horny again when I think about it."

He walked towards Marion, and kissed her on the mouth. "I'm pretty sure it was all your idea. A kiss from your 'little girl'!"

They all smiled at him and Marion stood up and kissed him full on his mouth. "We will repeat it soon Rob, I enjoyed it very much, and you know how much I like to dominate you."

He went on his knees in front of Marion who put her hand on her mouth. She had a pretty good idea what was coming.

"Marion, dear, we have asked you to live with us. Would you like it to be more permanent? In short - will you marry me and Helena?"

Immediately Kim turned off the TV.

With big eyes filled with tears Marion looked at Rob and Helena. "Yes, of course, yes. Will you wear my ring?"

"Yes I will wear your ring, like I wear Helena's. But, Marion, you already know that I have decided not to take piercings and I won't change my mind about this!"

Tears came into Marion's eyes and she wanted to say something.

"Marion, please let me finish first. Helena and I decided to turn our new marriage into a more official occasion, like a real marriage, and the guests will be our friends from the circle."

Marion looked at Rob and Helena, she didn't know whether to cry or laugh, mixed emotions showed on her face.

"This is not all Marion," Rob continued, "We want to do the ceremony in the new playroom," and following this Rob was inspired to say, "I want you to be a bride, Helena can be a bride as well. I will be, well," Rob smiled, "ehh, what do you want me to be?"

"Also a bride!" Kim shouted enthusiastically.

"What do you think, Helena and Marion?" Rob asked.

"Definitively a bride," Helena had a devilish smile on her face, "and I trust Kim and Cathy will buy a dress together with you, and I expect you to use the fitting room in the bridal shop."

Rob wished he hadn't mentioned he also could become a bride, he was cornered by his own words. Now he couldn't withdraw anymore. Once again a marriage, and he too would be a bride as well. He sighed, "OK, I give up. You got me. But no strap-ons, that was then but not again, not too soon."

"No, we'll keep those for our own little ceremony in private, you, Marion and I and two strap-ons," and all the women laughed.

"Sometimes I should think before I say something," Rob muttered, but he wasn't afraid anymore. After last night he had finally learned to trust Helena and Marion in full. They didn't listen to his objections and they knew what they were doing. He hadn't see it as degrading him and he knew Helena and Marion would have fun. Women who wore a strap-on and felt powerful, he did not begrudge them the pleasure.

"I want to wear a ring from you, Marion," Rob said. "You know I hate rings, seriously. I never wore them, and in the future I probably won't wear them all that often. It is just out of love for you and Helena that I will wear your rings. Women think they look good, but it's just a piece of metal on your body," he said morosely.

"I have forgotten my breakfast," and he went back to the kitchen, let go Helena, who was holding hands all the time they were talking in the living room. She had felt him sweat and she knew he really was afraid to say the wrong things. She knew he had to bide his words not to offend Marion or Kim and Cathy.

Rob made another sandwich, which he ate in the kitchen. Marion would feel better when he wore her name in a ring? A bit stupid actually, a relation is not a ring, a ring is just a symbol. He personally didn't need the symbol. People are attached to someone, ring or no ring. The same goes for a marriage, the only reason for a marriage were certain legal benefits, but nowadays you could sign a contract and you could have the same benefits. Of course, in their case, the wedding ceremony was for fun, and knowing Helena she would make sure there would be a party afterwards with plenty of food and drinks, and all attendees could stay for the night. The event would still be a great party.

But the legal status would not change, ring or no ring. The only thing that could be done was indeed a social contract, in which certain rights to another would be certified. It would give Marion some kind of affirmation of her connection to Helena and him.

Marion entered the kitchen, followed by Helena. They joined him at the kitchen table and both watched his face.

"What are you thinking Rob? I can see you are worried," Marion said softly.

"A ring is symbolic and it gives you no right to something. If you really want to be married to us, we should make a social contract for the three of us."

"I know Rob, but a ring means a lot to me, just because you dislike it so much, proves to me you care about me and love me," Marion said softly. "And if you should wear a ring with my name on your nipple...."

"Sorry Marion, it's out of the question. I won't do it. I admit, it frightens me. It is something what would be on my body constantly and I am pretty sure it would irritate me highly."

Marion's face drooped and Rob immediately tried to cheer her up.

"Marion, I have an idea. We'll set up a legal contract, with a notary and so on, which is not very romantic, but it binds you to us, more than a ring could do." He kissed Marion's forehead and then he kissed Helena. "Think about it, dear."

Rob abruptly shoved his seat back and left the kitchen. Marion and Helena looked at each other and Helena said, "I don't like to say it to you, but he is right. I like the idea, too, when he decides to wear a ring, but let's face it, it has no legal meaning. A social contract is the only thing that officially can bind us together. I think he has a very strong point. Plus, he will wear your wedding ring."

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