tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersThe Struggle Ch. 03

The Struggle Ch. 03


Author's Note: This is the fourth story in the chain "A game within a game."


Rob - main character

Helena - his wife

Marion - widow; very much in love with Rob

Cathy - friend (psychiatrist)

Kim - friend (local doctor)

Kate - sister of Helena

Carmen - friend; member of the circle (women society)

Bridget - friend; owner of a theater shop (- and more mature items)

Michelle - friend

Lisa - owner of a bridal shop

Olga - friend; member of the circle

Helga - friend of Olga

Jenny - Rob's ex-wife

Sylvia - member of Helena's security organization

Nicky and Inca - Rob's Doberman dogs

Reader, this story is the follow-up of 'a game within a game part 1-2-3'. Actually it's part 4, but the title didn't cover the contents anymore.


Meeting Jenny

The following week was becoming very busy for all of them. The wedding would take place on Saturday. The official invitations went out (with the dress code!) and Helena even wrote one for Jenny. But that one would be handed to her personally.

Rob got her telephone number and finally made the call.

"Hello Jenny. It's me..."

"Hi Rob. How are you?"

"Funny you still recognize me immediately. I'm flattered."

"Of course. We had been together for over fifteen years...."

A silence fell.

"Jenny, I want to speak with you in person. Helena will come along but will leave us alone so we can talk to each other. There is an event going on here this coming Saturday, but before I invite you, I want to know if we can talk as grownups. Is it OK if I come to your place?"

Rob could hear Jenny thinking. "It's OK Rob. When do you want to see me?"

"As soon as possible, as I am a bit in a hurry. What about this afternoon?"

Jenny agreed and for the first time, after almost a year, Rob had the feeling he would finally get the chance to really talk with Jenny. Rob told Helena, and though she wasn't really prepared to go that afternoon, she said she would make herself ready to accompany him...

It was an hour drive to the city where Jenny was now living and Helena wasn't ready yet.

"Women", Rob thought, "always being late, doing their lipstick or whatever, especially if they want to make an impression".

They drove off and soon were on their way to the city where Jenny lived. It was a pretty large town with a large shopping area and Jenny lived nearby, so when Rob parked the car, Helena could walk to the shopping centre.

Rob pressed the button of the door bell and the door was almost immediately opened. Helena kissed Jenny, gave her a bunch of flowers they had bought on the road on the way to her place, but Rob was in doubt as to what he should do. Should he kiss her? Jenny decided for him, she grabbed him and pressed her lips on his.

"Hi Rob. I'm so glad you are here and we finally can talk. Come in." She almost dragged him in. Helena followed, looking around. The last time she was here she was in such distress that she had no memory of the inside of Jenny's house. Now she took the opportunity and observed the surroundings. It was a very feminine house; it was obvious she was living alone. The house was not very large, but it felt like a real home, tastefully decorated and warm.

They went to sit on the couch and Jenny made them coffee. Helena put the flowers in a vase and then brought the flowers to the living room and placed the vase on a cabinet. She noticed a framed photo that was lying upside down, and she went to put it up again. Then she discovered it was done on purpose: the photo was the wedding photo of Jenny and Rob. She didn't want them to see it! She still must have feelings for Rob, Helena thought. Rob hadn't noticed what she was doing, he was examining Jenny's books and cd's. They both went back to sitting down. When Jenny came in with the freshly made coffee Helena thanked Jenny for giving her the address of Rosa so she could find Rob, and then declared that she would leave them alone because she had some shopping to do. She then said she would be back in an hour or so. Helena drank her coffee quickly, said goodbye, and left.

"You are very lucky to have Helena as your wife," Jenny started the conversation.

"Yes - I am. Still, we have our quarrels, but until now we have made up." Rob sighed.

"You sound as if you have problems. I thought you were happy?"

"I really am. But you know all about Marion...and now Helena is becoming a Mistress, too. And it's bothering me sometimes."

Jenny started to grin. "Come on, Rob. It's what you always wanted. I know, I have seen your favorite websites."

"Fantasy and reality are two very different things. Anyway, that is not why I wanted to talk to you. I was asking myself if I still would feel anger when I was with you, face to face, and I have to admit, the answer is not anymore. The only thing that I really wanted to ask you is how come you waited all these years to come out, and didn't tell me earlier, that you wanted to be with women rather than men. It puzzles me, I don't understand. You wasted a lot of time with both of our lives. Not really wasted, but let's face it, if you were so unhappy with me, why linger on?"

"Rob. I wasn't unhappy with you. On the contrary. The problem was the need for women started to grow, and it became worse over time. Then, because you didn't really control my life and gave me a lot of space, I had the chance to go out with women and I had sex with them. I did this time and again and it was great, as I had found my true self, but I also felt guilty about you and I knew I would hurt you if I told you. So - I didn't leave you, but as a result my mood became down and angry. I blamed you for wasting my time, while I only had to blame myself, of course. You had no idea. Then, at Marion's place, things changed. I became very angry with you, I totally agree with you it wasn't your fault, but still I wanted to take 'revenge' on you, while sadly you had nothing done to deserve such a treatment. I still owe you an apology for that, I had wanted to do it before this, but I didn't dare to face you again. I saw your rage when I came to pick up my things and I knew words would be in vain at that point. Then I tried to write you a letter, and in the end I couldn't do it. I felt guilty as hell, but I couldn't help myself either. What would be the point of writing you? I thought we never could be friends again. But now you are here..."

Rob's face became darker and darker while he listened to her. He still didn't understand.

"But why did you stay with me? You haven't given me an answer. That is what I really want to know."

"Don't you get it? Because I loved you! I still do, but it is different now. I want women to sleep with and to have sex with, and when you were dressed as a woman, it was almost the same. So that kept me going all these years with you. Because you could almost be a woman, you were gentle, sexy, and above all, not the typical male. Plus it was in a way fun too. And who knows what could have happened if Helena not had shown up..." The words were left hanging in the air.

Suddenly Rob felt great compassion for his ex-wife. She was a victim of her own character, divided between women she lusted for, and a husband she loved. It must have been hell to her.

"So Jenny, here we are. I have listened to what you have said, and I think I really understand. The bad scene at Marion's place was just out of frustration. I understand that now. Tell me, are you living with a woman now? I only recognize some of your old belongings. I already heard you don't live with Holly any more. "

"No. I am alone at the moment. I have had several affairs, but it seems I am divided between two worlds. After a while I get enough of women, all that jealousy and talk and well, you know how some women can be. And then I missed your strong arm. So, after a while I stopped dating. I now just have occasional sex and that's it. I have my job and I am reasonably happy."

"God, what a mess we have made. Okay, Here it is, don't be shocked. I want you to come to our private party, which will be this coming Saturday; I have your invitation here." Jenny went to take the paper, but Rob held it in his hands, not yet giving it over yet.

"Wait a moment, Jenny, you know that I am married to Helena." Jenny nodded, she knew.

"Here it comes," Rob continued. "Saturday I will be the bride, Helena will be the bride and we are going to marry Marion."

Jenny started to laugh "You are kidding me!"

"I'm very serious Jenny. The bride thing is of course funny, but we will sign a legal contract and Marion will be living officially with us, and she is getting lots of rights. And, she will become my Mistress and not Helena."

"Do you want this Rob? Can you handle these women?"

"You have no idea. There are going to be two more women living with us. In time they will get a contract too, so I'm talking about four women."

Now Jenny started to laugh heartily. The tears flowed over her cheeks from laughing, Rob laughed too; although it wasn't heartily. He knew she didn't mean it badly.

"You have all you always wanted. Four women! Are you sure you don't want a fifth? I could help, you know. All those hot bodies..." and again she started to laugh.

When Helena came back from her shopping trip, she found them laughing and in a good mood. When Rob told her what the fun was about, Helena couldn't do anything else than to laugh also.

She decided not to show the things she had bought to Jenny; she appeared to be more sympathetic than she always thought. Jenny got the invitation and promised to wear something according the dress code.

"Can I stay overnight? I see there will be only women at the party. Maybe I get lucky..." She smiled at Helena and Rob and she did something what Helena also sometimes did, she licked her lips like a hungry animal.

As old friends they departed, Rob hugged her and Jenny kissed him full on his mouth saying, "I have missed you. I am glad we can be friends again."

She also hugged Helena saying she was a lucky woman.

Helena and Rob stepped into the car, and Helena told him (Rob was driving) Jenny kept waving until they were out of sight.

"She still loves you, Rob."

"I know. She said so. I am almost thinking she too could be a member of the circle. I even felt sorry for her."

"I know. We will see about the circle, Rob. We will see."

When they got home, Marion wanted to know everything about what had happened. It was not a surprise to her that Jenny still loved Rob.

"You are popular Rob. You have something what makes some women melt. But these women are not ordinary women. Just like you are not ordinary. We are a strange family." And with these words they were eating dinner, Helena's cook had made a delicious meal and they were hungry. It had been a strange afternoon to say the least.

The week before the wedding

Every day of the week Rob was busy working in the dungeon. The floor was carpeted, except for the examining room, where tiles were used on that floor and also on the walls in that room. In the examining room the 'research' chair from Cathy's house was placed, and so were the cupboards and other equipment. The effect in that room was cold and businesslike, and to be honest, not very inviting. It kind of scared Rob, although he knew a lot of 'tools' were fake or just for display. They had agreed to the possibility of giving someone an enema, therefore Rob had made some hooks on the wall to attach the enema bags to more easily.

There were also nozzles and hoses of all kinds that were lying on some sort of doctor's cabinet. All in all it did look very professional. The medicine kit hanging on the wall was exactly what it was, a first aid kit.

Luckily for the one who would be given an enema that the bathroom and toilets were adjacent to this room.

The classroom existed of two benches and a front desk. The teacher would be sitting on the desk, while the benches were large enough for an adult to sit on. A whiteboard hung on the wall. Several smaller and larger canes were standing in a basket and a punishment bench was located in the corner. There was also the potential to tie someone to the wall.

The dungeon proper had the majority of the work to be done. Rob started with drilling a lot of holes in the walls and floor. The contractors had already put in the electrical service for the trolleys and rail on the ceiling. They must have asked themselves why so many, but that was their problem. From the ceiling hung several movable chains and ropes. They could be used to work with different apparatus, but also to carry heavy equipment to its place.

The X-cross was erected on the wall. The frame and bed were located in a corner. The bed was covered with latex as was the floor for several square meters around the bed. The purpose of this all was to be able to do 'water sports' and this would make it easy to clean up after.

The hardest job for Rob was mounting the wheel on the wall. Twelve holes had to be drilled in the wall to secure the plate with the spindle. When it was done, Rob needed the help of Helena and Marion to keep the leather covered heavy wheel in place, first it was placed on a bench and then quickly put the bolts and nuts through the holes of the wheel and the spindle. When it was done, Rob removed the bench, gave the nuts the final turns and the wheel was steady on the wall.

Of course Marion wanted to test the wheel immediately by fastening Rob to it, but he thanked her heartily and said he had more work to do.

He placed the rack to one of the walls, it was just some kind of a ladder, with turning wheels on both sides, so somebody could be tied to it and then easily turned upside down. The special thing about this rack was, it could be lifted so the Mistress could walk beneath the rack and fix all kinds of articles to the upside down body. A very simple, but ingenuous device.

The last device was a large oaken table, simple, with cuffs and bands attached. To Rob it looked pretty uncomfortable.

The whipping bench was also secured to the floor, near the X-cross and finally they all helped Rob with bringing in the rest of the furniture, consisting of cupboards, cabinets, easy chairs and tables.

The one thing Rob had refused to bring into the dungeon was the so called pillory. He thought it was a degrading and humiliating device and when if it was not present, it could not be used. He also knew if it was present that Marion would have used it almost immediately, on him, of course.

Rob thought that everything he could think of had been carried out.

The lighting had been fixed, via a remote control someone sitting in the easy chair could change the intensity of the light, the angle and at the same time dim the other lights in the room. There was also a sound control, and a dvd player. Usually soft classical music could be heard as background music which would not be disturbing for the 'players'.

Several rings lay in the floor, covered by a cut out piece of carpet. The rings on the floor could be used in placing and securing items that could be moved around. The bed was fixed, but the frame could be hoisted to the middle of the room, for example. Then he placed a few chairs and a mobile cabinet near the X-cross and finally looked at the result. The whips, floggers, cat-o-nine tails were already hanging on the wall, together with chains and other s&m material.

A small kitchen with a sink for washing your hands and a refrigerator at the back side completed the sanitary area; next to it were the easy chairs placed and two couches with a matching long table. Enough room for about fifteen people to sit on and watch the 'scene'. Past this then there were all the 'torture' devices and finally the entrance. If you walked out of the dungeon, on the right was a bathroom and adjacent clothing room and on the left were a few toilets. The corridor to the wine cellar, with a door in-between, connected the playroom with adjacent rooms. The lift was between the door to the wine-cellar and the door that gave admittance to the corridor leading to the dungeon. During the week, the door to the dungeon was locked, because as Helena knew, her staff was very curious about their 'fitness' room.

On Thursday, they were ready. They decided to do a try-out the next day, without doing a scene, but just to do a final test. This would be before the guests who would be given a guided tour of the room Saturday had arrived and allow them to fix anything they weren't happy with.

Friday before the wedding

It was still quiet at the estate when Rob left for his daily morning walk. He smelled freshly baked bread, but he would have breakfast when he returned. He took his car and drove to the forest where he used to walk, when he was living in his old house. Upon arrival he saw the car of Michelle.

He opened the door to let the dogs out, and before he knew it, they were gone, making their way through the dense forest searching for Boris.

Soon he heard them bark and rush through water. Again he saw Michelle sitting on the fallen tree and she waved at him. He walked towards her and she said, "Do you mind if we walk further? The dogs are all wet and I don't have much time. I hope they will be dry by the time we are back with our cars."

Rob agreed and soon they were talking.

"Our play room is ready for the big day tomorrow." Rob started the conversation.

"So I heard, I was at Bridget's place and she told me Marion had ordered some gear that she delivered last week. She said something about you were gone, that in any case you were not present. You have had some kind of quarrel I believe? She mentioned something like that, but she hoped you would still welcome her tomorrow. She is one of the guests."

"Yes. Helena told me. But I won't apologize to her. I think she should apologize to me; she tricked me with the help of Helena. Bah!" Rob was still a bit angry.

"Don't let it spoil your day. Think of your new wife. She will be so happy."

"Yeah, You are right, I will behave. You know, I have to do some 'chores' tomorrow and I am not allowed to refuse anyone." He sighed. "What if she wants me to ..." Rob didn't finish his sentence.

"What if?" Michelle mocked him. "What if I desire for you to do something for me?"

Rob looked her straight in the face and Michelle didn't blink. They had stopped and Michelle took Rob's hand. "I will ask for you, Rob. Maybe more than once. This is my chance to be intimate with you. You may know, but I long for you."

"What? You are a Mistress! certainly you have a lot of slaves who are willing to do whatever you desire of them? I'm not special."

"You are my friend, which makes it special for me. Helena knows, she has asked about my feelings. She was jealous you know. You were gone and she had no idea where you could be. She thought you maybe were at my place. I'm glad you didn't go there with me. It would have complicated things. Not that you wouldn't be welcome, on the contrary. But - I cherish my friendship with you and with Helena."

"Well, you surprise me. After my harsh words I though you would be having reservations about me. I am not so sure to be honest. You are a severe Mistress, and I have my belly full of Mistresses. Too many, too soon and too demanding..."

Michelle started to laugh. "You act like a victim, but you couldn't be happier. You don't fool me."

Rob then asked her: "Think what you like. So, you will be coming tomorrow? You will be there before the actual wedding?"

"I don't know Rob. I will be glad if I am on time to see you getting married. But I will be there, I promise."

They talked about their dogs and other things and walked back, the same way as they came. At their arrival at the cars, Michelle gave Rob a slight kiss and said "I will see you tomorrow dear. I'm looking forward to it. I hope you have a wonderful day."

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