The Struggle Goes On

Jim and i were busy that week trying to get settled into our new home. With little furniture there wasn't too much we could do but clean, which we did from top to bottom. We scrubbed windows, washed down the walls, cleaned the bath thoroughly; one never knows what others might have left behind. Jim had taken the week off from work to help me settle in. We had had gone and had the utilities turned on. To this silly happy slave, even that was exciting. i was spending every moment with Biker. i didn't have to part from Him. Joe had gotten us an ole worn out mattress for us to sleep on. i had used a cleanser and disinfectant on the mattress and sat it in the sun for the day, to dry and air out. Just doing these menial chores was pure joy to me. i was able to cook for Him, serve Him His coffee, and give Him a nightly bath, which i made long and relaxing.

There was no sitting porch, but we would sit outside when the sun was shining. It was still early in the year for this. Winter was still in the air, but sitting out there was delightful. i knew that spring was just around the corner as the daffodils were beginning to pop up out of the ground. i could not wait to see their yellow heads open to full bloom. Biker and i enjoyed watching the Amish folk riding by in there horse driven carriages. They were a solid black. Many of these carts would have barefoot children riding in the back. They would peer at us shyly. As time went on we saw these children and even their parents beginning to smile and wave at us as we sat there. The children would be singing songs and they seemed so happy and content. There is nothing like the sound of laughter of children. Many times when inside the trailer we would hear the clippity clop of horse's hooves coming down the road before they could be seen. At times the younger boys would be racing up and own the road on their horses, behaving just as boys might in cars, but with a much less dangerous result. It was fun to watch their reactions when Biker would crank up His motorcycle. They could not take their eyes on of it. They seemed captivated. The women and men were not as friendly at first, but over time that changed as well. The ladies began to smile, wave or nod, as did their men. After some time they would tip their hat in greeting to us as they passed.

On Monday Biker returned to work leaving me alone again, but i knew then, at least He would return a few hours later. It was very quiet now. There nothing much to do, as we had finished most of what we could. i had a few things in storage back in Tennessee where my soon to be ex-husband lived. At the end of the week Biker and i would return to picked those few things up, while also going back to Susan's to visit for the weekend. We would be bringing Beauty back with us.

i was dreading going back to her place. i knew Biker very much wanted to take her again, to touch her, kiss and hold her once more. Thing was, we had not played once in that two weeks now she would get His full attention. i vowed to myself no one would see how it hurt me. i learned well how to put on a happy face. i could laugh right along with them, my laughter sounded a little too cheerful, but no one seemed to notice. i will be honest. i sometimes wished they would notice. Maybe then i could reveal how i truly felt. i knew that Biker would be angry if i said anything to hurt Susan so it was best they didn't notice. I had permission to go into my husband house and shed and retrieve my things although he was not home. He was at work. From the shed i removed a small table and chair set. A box of pots and pans a set of dishes that had been a gift to me from Tanja, my daughter. The family albums, i would sort through those later and divide them with my husband and children. i should add at this point my husband was now seeing other people and i was happy he was. i did not wish to see him alone. He had filed for divorce. i also had been told He was very close to becoming engaged to an ole friend of mine. i liked this lady. i found that some things i was suppose to take with me were missing, a set of iron skillets I had owned for about 25 years. Those i would hate losing. i now know she had been given those. i gathered together the silver-serving bowl and matching candlestick holders, several serving trays and some other kitchen items, there were duplicates so i wasn't taking anything he would be deprived of. In the shed were also all my Christmas decorations i had collected since my children were small. Some were homemade things, such an ornaments made from flour and salt, and then hand painted by my children. A nativity set was also among these treasures. i think Al knew i would hurt anyone who touched those personal items. i collected those and carefully loaded them into the truck. Moments later Biker and I were off to Susan's.

By later afternoon we arrived and were greeted happily by the children. Susan came running out to meet us. She hugged me first and then moved quickly to Biker. i did not watch, but began chattering away to Jen and Nikki. We moved inside the kids helped me with mine and Jim's overnight bags. We had stopped on our way and brought a twelve pack of Corona's, the only beer Jim would touch, and myself a bottle of tequila and mix. Indies the house i could see they had cleaned the place up nicely. The one thing they couldn't do anything about was the scent of the dogs. Susan and her brood loved animals. At that time she had four inside large mutt dogs. It was noisy with all the chatter. i had forgotten, just how noisy. Barking dogs and the stereo blaring greeted us our ears.

The gathering place here was the dining area. We sat around the table catching up on the news of them and what had been happening since we had last been there. Susan's sat right with Biker, yes they could not stop looking or touching each other. i went about making my drink and popping the cap off a beer for Him. i handed Susan one as well. i could see i would be serving the house again. Susan did have dinner prepared. A beautiful, perfectly browned beef roast surrounded with a selection of carrots, onions and potatoes. There was also a platter of homemade biscuits and side bowl of gravy i severed Bikers plate first and set it before Him, Then serving the children and Susan in turn. i made my plate with small portions; i didn't think i could eat a bite. i took a seat and quietly picked at my food. To busy myself, i returned to the kitchen and began cleaning up. i listened to the chatter as i washed up the dishes. i returned to sit with them no one had offered to help. After a few moments of polite conversation, i excused myself to unpack our things for the weekend. i asked Biker if i might be excused to shower. He was in a cheerful mood. Of course i knew why, He would be playing with His slave and His new slave in training.

i escaped the others and found some solace in the hot shower. i took my time, soaping my flesh with a lingering touch here and there, trying to bring some form of comfort to myself. Heck who was i kidding i was no slave, i was jealous, and angry fighting against the idea of having to share this man i had gone through so much for. It was just not fair. He was so cruel, so thoughtless, so uncaring. Did not He say He loved me? How could He say He loved me and still want her? How was i failing to meet His needs? How could i do more? What was it i was lacking? Maybe because she was so much younger than i, was it because her tits were firm and in the right place. They didn't hang as mine did. Hell i was 51 they couldn't be like that again. Her nipples were huge and dark brown. My pale nipples seemed to disappear when they weren't toyed with. Her ass was firm she had a waist. She looked so damned good. Was it because she talked and chattered away constantly? She made Him laugh. Well i was quiet because He trained me to be so. Was that my fault? Hell she could argue back at Him. He thought it good humor. She could get way with teasing Him in a way i couldn't, i wasn't allowed.

From time to time i would forget myself and join in the play and would be suddenly called down. With a stern look of disapproval or addressing me with the word "slave" in that well understood tone of rebuke. i would go silent, trying to hold back tears. i was confused. Why was she allowed to be so free with Him? So i would sit quietly for a few and then excuse myself for some made up tasks to do or say i needed to rest or ask if i could go lay down? I had a headache or felt tired, anything just so i could get away and shed this hurt in tears. What was it He needed from her that I couldn't or wasn't able to give? If He would just explain it to me, tell me what He wasn't getting from me i knew i could make things perfect for Him. Was she better in bed than me? Was she a better slut? i could be nastier. There was not anything i would not do or would not give to Him. These were questions i could only ask inside myself. i dare not question Biker. It would make Him angry. The few times i did bring it up over the next few months it brought only tension and the statement that it was just something He wanted. He liked women, and that i was Prime and no one could replace me, but I was never free from fear or insecurity. So I would just except it outwardly for then and buried my hurt and confusion again.

After my shower and having washed my hair, i dressed and returned to them. i hoped no one could see how red my eyes and nose were. They took notice that i was back, but continued their easy chatter. When ever i saw that a beer or drink needed refreshing i did so without thinking. i sat quietly. i conversed with Jen about her boyfriend Derrick. Jen could always make me smile. It was getting late in the evening. i wanted to go on to upstairs and stretch out. Jen knew that her mom was also having a relationship with Biker. Of course Jen knew the three of us always slept in the bed together, and that we played in that bed. Nikki did not know that it was anything more than us sleeping in the bed because of a lack of sleeping quarters. Jen was eighteen and was quite open in her talks with Susan. We all talked rather openly about BDSM and our three-way relationship. i was excused; being told that He and Susan would be up shortly.

i was upstairs pretending to be interested in a book, i wasn't. i was wondering about the night ahead. i knew this was Susan's night to have her needs met. i would help see that was done. Although, knowing Susan had no desire for my assistance in that. I heard them coming up stairs and plastered a smile onto my face. Susan quickly found her sleepwear and headed to the shower. Biker and i sat on the bed and waited. Biker would ask me times if i was ok? i don't really think He wanted to know. If i had told Him it would have created problems. So i kept it to myself. Yes i lied. i felt there was no alternative. i was struggling but over time i knew i would come to terms with this.

Susan was back in the room in bed with Biker when i returned from refreshing our drinks. They were in each other's arms kissing. She was undressed and His hands were already moving between her legs. He had stripped down lying there nude. They had started without me. Funny how one can learn to even keep a sigh silent. They parted and i handed them their drinks. i undressed. There was some touching of me by Biker. I got onto the bed. Biker was in the middle of us. We spread out over the bed. Biker had crawled between her legs, and tasting her juices. He instructed me to suckle her nipples. i did so, knowing she wouldn't like it, she couldn't out right argue this with Biker, but she did complain that i was too rough. i was not. Susan had her needs met. She was fisted and anally used, her cunt worked over well. This i could handle ok. Then He mounted her and fed her cunt His seed. This i had wanted for myself and stupidly felt it my right as prime to have it. i had to remind myself, i had no rights. We had played for hours.

Finally Biker and Susan's energies were spent and we all lay down to sleep. Biker wrapped His arms about her and they fell asleep. i tried for a bit but i felt i wanted to cry so i got up silently so as not to wake them and slipped down stairs. i am not sure how long i stayed down there. i tried going back to bed and still couldn't sleep. It was four in the morning. So i made coffee and sat there until about five watching the TV. i could not have told you a thing that was on. i pulled a serving tray from the cabinet and set three mugs on it. Pouring the coffee, putting cream and sugar in Biker's, black for her, and cream only for mine, i carried the tray up the stairs. Sitting there watching them sleep, i tried to pull myself together, knowing they would wake shortly. When they woke i had pulled myself together and was wearing a smile.

Biker had to work the next day and we would have to unload the truck. After breakfast we left a tear filled eyed Susan and headed back home. She was to come up to our place in two weeks. We were now discussing her and the children moving in with us.