The Sultanah Ch. 14

I dropped my head now, letting Nislani's nipple push past my lips and enter into my mouth. The instant I felt her hard, dense skin coated in my saliva enter my mouth, I moved my tongue against it, flicking it and swirling around it. Nislani cooed and arched her back, pressing her silky breast against my face, warming my chin, and driving her nipple more deeply into my mouth. I sucked on her nipple harder, drawing it into me even more forcefully. Nislani gasped.

I wanted to give her more and I quickly moved my hand up towards her free breast. My hand slid along her side, up her stomach, and over the underside of her breast. Nislani squealed as my soft hands moved over the tops of her breasts. Her other nipple was just as hard as the one that was in my mouth and Nislani's body shook as I touched it. Rather than grasp her breast (as I wanted to do), I held my hand palm down over her nipple, letting it just barely graze my skin. I circled my palm around slowly, letting Nislani's hard nipple trace against it. Nislani moaned and arched her back further, trying to push her nipple hard against my palm. I moved my hand back, keeping the teasing distance and trying not to grind my cock too hard into the mattress. I sucked harder on her nipple to compensate for my teasing.

After several minutes of playing with Nislani's breasts, it was clear that she could not take any more. She was writhing wildly on the bed and her hands had sunk deeply into my hair. She was pulling on it slightly. The scent of her cunny had grown so intense that it made the whole room feel hotter, more humid. Every time I breathed it in my body trembled. In fact, it was affecting me more than my touch was affecting Nislani. My tongue was moving more feverishly over her breast, sucking harder. My palm was closer to her breast now, grazing the soft, weighty flesh. We both needed more, but Nislani was the one who finally put a point on it.

"Fuck me Varis. Fuck me Sultanah," She groaned closely into my ear, "I love you and I want you so bad." I didn't realize that I had been waiting for these words, but it was clear to me now that I was. With the word 'bad' still ringing in my ears I began to move. With reluctance, I let Nislani's nipple pop from my mouth and I moved both of my hands onto the bed next to her head. Using my arms, I pulled myself up so that my head was no longer level with Nislani's chest. My hair glided across Nislani's breasts, neck, and face as I rose up higher. She moaned at the sensation. In a moment, I felt my hips slide into place between Nislani's.

As if she was afraid that I would somehow try to leave her, Nislani's legs reached around my, locking around my back. My breast mashed against Nislani's and I could feel my own saliva wet against my skin as her nipples dug into me. My hair was now forming a cone around Nislani's face and we felt totally alone together now. We looked into each other's eyes and I know that I cannot describe what we felt. But we both knew we were feeling the same thing. The heat of our bodies mixed together and I could sense the closeness of all of Nislani's most intimate parts.

Gazing at her innocent beauty, I was suddenly struck by a surprising thought. "Nislani, I am so proud that you are my wife. I don't know what I would have done without you today," I said, my voice sounding ragged but honest. I saw a tear well in Nislani's eye and it rolled down her cheek.

"I am your wife Varis, and I love you. It is my job to support you when you cannot go on. Just as you would do for me. Have done for me, really. Even if I didn't know it," she said. My heart ached for her and I closed my eyes again, leaning in towards her. I felt her chin bend backwards and, after a moment, my lips contacted hers, ever so gently. Just the barest whisper of a touch at first. And then we pressed further, our lips coming together. And then splitting, our tongues finding each other wet in the middle.

We kissed now with absolute abandon, our motions coming desperate and wild. I felt Nislani's tongue probing all throughout my mouth. I felt it flitter across my lips, my teeth, and my gums. I felt our tongues press hard together and I taste Nislani's sweet saliva in my mouth. She was panting now and her hips were grinding up. I heard her moaning slightly and I knew what she needed.

"Fuck me Varis...Fuck me," she chanted for a moment before her mouth plunged against mine again. I loved the feeling of teasing Nislani but I couldn't hold out any longer. I needed it now as much as she did. With a quick movement of my hips, I felt my cock slide against the sopping wet opening of Nislani's cunny. My sister gasped and her arms wrapped tightly around the back of my neck. Now she was completely draped around me and I could feel her heart thundering against my chest.

"Put it in now, Varis, please!" she moaned now. I guess I had just been waiting to hear that and I rapidly thrust my hips forward, driving them into Nislani's body. My cock had been perfectly lined up and Nislani's cunny was so unbelievably wet that there was no doubt what would happen, despite my rapid movement. I felt Nislani's body split open and I felt my cock press inside of her. The walls of her wet cunny closed around me, her tissue squeezed and massaged me as I passed inside. But it happened so quickly, in an instant, I was buried as deep as I could go inside of Nislani's cunny. Nislani grunted and threw her head back onto the bed, her mouth open.

I decided to give her no respite. While she was still soaking in the sensation of having my cock drive hard into her cunny, I pulled it back out, only to slide it back in again. I did not slam into her; I did not force myself at her. Instead, my cock slid out in a steady motion and then slipped back inside of her on the same beat. I did not move particularly slowly, but I did not move too fast either, I achieved a delicate balance. I saw Nislani's eyes flash open and she looked at me lewdly. It was clear I struck the correct chord.

Perhaps part of it was how closely Nislani had pulled me into her body. As I rocked my hips, thrusting my cock in and out of her body, I could feel the hard nub of her clit pressing against my lower stomach. Each movement I made reverberated through her clitoris, sending pleasure throughout her body. She moaned and groaned as I manipulated her body. She was getting twice the attention she would have expected as my cock massaged her insides and my stomach pleasured her clit.

We stayed that way for some time; I was surprised by both of our stamina. My cock ached so badly and Nislani's cunny was so wet that I figured it would be over in no time. But we continued to move together, my cock slipping in and out of Nislani's cunny while her body engulfed me. Our breasts were pressed together, our nipples teasing one another. My hair still encapsulated our faces and we kissed often, though perhaps more often, we simply gazed into each other's eyes, feeling this power of our connection. Maybe that is what kept us going, neither one of us wanted to break the lock we had on one another at that moment. It felt right, more right than any sexual experience I had ever had. I am sure Nislani felt the same, even if she was considerably less experienced.

Maybe it was this lack of experience that sent her over the edge first. Maybe it was simply that I had experienced an orgasm already and she was building towards one for a long time. Whatever it was, after a particularly deep thrust, I felt Nislani's body go rigid underneath of me. I saw her eyes close and her mouth opened. She began to squeeze me tighter with her arms and legs, so tight I could barely breathe. She pulled my cock into her further and she would not let me pull out. I heard a low groaning sound coming from deep in her throat and I could feel her body trembling. Finally, I heard her sigh loudly and I felt her cunny contracting around my swollen cock.

That was more than I could bear. As her cunny milked my cock hard and without relent, I felt the tension rising inside of me as well. Now it was my turn to freeze on top of Nislani's body. My toes curled off the edge of the bed and I thrust my hips hard into her. I made a croaking sound and then a loud screech. But the tension didn't break. Not as I expected. It kept building and my eyes slammed shut and my teeth gritted so hard that my head began to swim. My throat locked up and I couldn't even scream. I couldn't breathe. I became aware of the depth and breadth of my tension, nearly a year's worth of built up angst that was transferred into my muscles and joints and held there as my body pressed against my wife. My mind went blank, consumed entirely by the desire, no the need, for relief. I believe that for a brief moment, I must have lost my mind. Everything inside of me broke.

And then, just when it seemed that there was nothing left, when everything was darkest, a pinpoint of light appeared in my center. I perceived it in an animal sort of way, but only for the briefest moment. Because after that time, it exploded. Not like a normal orgasm. I did not feel an emanation of pleasure pouring in waves over me. I didn't notice seed pouring from my cock. Instead, I...I became pleasure. Everything had become tension and insanity and then, in an instant, it all flipped around. It became the opposite. I cannot say it any clearer than that and to this day I cannot even really fathom or recreate the notion of that feeling. But I was converted in a moment into pure energy and that energy was the force of pleasure. I touched the face of God and became like a god. The only image I kept in my mind was that of my dream, so long ago. The dream of a flaming missile piercing my eye, melting me down into nothing, only to build me up again with fire for an eye and an arrow for a backbone. It had been a premonition, and it was happening now.

Slowly, my mind began to return to me. I know became aware of the normal, still pleasurable, orgasm feelings. The sense of pleasuring rippling through my body (though already beginning to decline), the sensation of my seed pouring into my sister's tight cunny. Even the feel of my body, and Nislani's, on the bed. I could feel that again too. As the last of my seed entered and overwhelmed Nislani's cunny, I became aware that I was unbearably tired. I sighed deeply, felt lightheaded, and then collapsed onto my side next to Nislani. Still wrapped around me, she rolled with me as my cock popped out of her body and we lay panting on the bed. I felt cooled as my sweat settled on my body.

Eventually, Nislani's body loosened its grip on mine, though she stayed lying across my body, her hand fiddling in my hair and her head resting on my bare breast. She sighed contentedly and I could feel a wet spot on the bed where my excess seed dribbled out of her body. My breathing became slower and I simply lay with wife and with no thoughts. Just a sensation of contentment. A peace I had not felt in...ever.

It could not last forever and I suppose I would not want it to, it was better just being a brief period of time. Slowly, my troubles began to return to me. The fraught political situation. My lost friends and lovers. Those things were still fresh and raw. I still felt shame, sadness, and anger. But I felt different about them as well. The problems were just as enormous as before, just as daunting.

But somehow, I felt differently about myself. I no longer felt like my problems had engulfed me, like I was no longer up to the task. Maybe I had just felt so terribly alone and didn't see any way out of it. Nislani had showed me differently. Or I had seen something I hadn't understood before.

Slowly, I began to recognize the source of my new-found equilibrium. I considered myself, and I no longer felt the division inside of me. There was no longer Varis and the Sultanah. I could not discern the spot where they were separated. But, unlike my fear, I did not feel the absence of either half. I felt like they had been fused together as one, a complete whole. And I knew both halves were still there because, deep inside of me, I could feel the spot where they'd melded together. I felt the key that connected the seemingly irreconcilable parts of myself.

My family. Always abstract, theoretical before. It was so real to me now. I could feel the weight of the blood in my veins.

Nislani, of course, was a major part of that. She was a member of my dynasty. She was my sister. She was my wife. And finally, the emotions I felt for her connected, both to my role as a private woman and to my role as a Sultanah. She was my support, both politically and privately, a source of refuge and pleasure. She knew how to protect me here, in our sanctuary, and treat me like the woman I was and, at the same time, defend and protect me in the field of politics, where men held sway. She could keep these two halves together in one person, just as she pleasured both halves of my sexuality on our bed.

And, perhaps more importantly, my child. That was the key, the connection between the private Varis and the public Sultanah. She would be my child and the source of my private love and joy. But she would be an heir and the receptacle of the Hanedan blood. And I felt the importance of both of my child's roles and the need to protect them both. I recognized that they were inextricably linked and that, it proved that my two halves were linked as well. I recognized that her existence showed the duality of her role, and mine as well. Mother and Sultanah in one. Woman and man. This child seemed to represent some unrecognized harmony within these roles. It tied my two halves together in a way I couldn't understand. I didn't really know how to express it. I could barely contain the idea as it was, but I could feel its truth.

Whatever uncertainty or crisis of faith had conquered me before, I had moved past it now, re-forged as I was by the crisis. My problems had hardened me rather than broken me. My back was arrow straight and my eye was flame. I knew what I was going to do instantly, as though the plan was already fully formed in my mind and I simply uncovered it now. Maybe I had been working on it subconsciously. All I knew was that everything became clear to me.

I gently extricated myself from my sister's grasp. She let me go easily, not protesting. She likely knew that I had business to attend to and did not want to stop me. She was there to support me now. I felt it and leaned on it. I would repay her in kind when the opportunity came. I rose from the bed after a while and went to my desk. I looked at all the papers, the failed attempts at letters scattered about. I picked up the one that I describe to Nislani, the final draft of my abdication.

"Are you going to get rid of it?" she asked. I turned towards the bed and saw that she was lying on her side looking towards me. The covers were wrapped around her waist but her breasts were exposed, lying seductively against one another and draped in her long hair. She was smiling contentedly, her face unlined and beautiful. I looked at the papers again.

"No," I said and Nislani looked at me surprised.

"I thought..." Nislani began, almost rising and sounding alarmed.

"I know what you think. But I am not done writing this letter. And when I am done, I have more writing to go," I said, "Correspondence is woman's work, after all," I smiled at Nislani easily and she furrowed her brow. But I ignored her. She needed rest, after all, she was carrying my child. I turned back to my desk and got back to work.

* * * * *

"I think I see them, yes you can see the vanguard's banner in the distance," Cin said. She was lifting her hand to her face to shield her eyes from the sun. Her hand was heavily bandaged, but it still looked strange. It would be stranger still when the bandage came off in a few days. She'd been wearing it for four weeks. Four weeks since the failed coup and so much had changed.

For one thing, King Sican and the legions of Dusman were once again camped in front of my walls. Closer, in fact, than they had been at the end of last summer, when they had killed my father. My soldiers were, once again, manning the walls. There were more of us now, though not nearly as many as I would have liked. More importantly, they were not all were as loyal as I might have liked, having pressed the former retainers of the Collaborationist lords into my legions. I looked to my left, towards the Duke's gate. I saw their rotten heads still on display there and smiled. It gave me strength. I would need it.

Not that there was any indication of that now. Despite the presence of Sican and his army, the atmosphere was far different than it had been during the previous siege. And well that it should be. After all, Dusman was here upon my invitation. I had sent the letter I had read to Nislani after all. Everything I had written remained intact, expanded even. I apologized, I claimed ignorance as a woman, I lamented my weakness and my foolhardiness, I begged for aid, and I offered my sister's cunny to Lider. And a payoff as well. The imperial jewels as the price for my 'pardon.' I had caved entirely, just as a woman should. It is what my enemies had been expecting of me from the beginning.

Of course, I had added more than that as well. I had explained to King Sican that I had found papers in Duke Hain's possession after the failed coup that indicated he was in league with King Köylü of Temsilci, the King's most powerful rival and erstwhile ally. This much was true, documents to that effect were found. Similar documents were found regarding King Sican himself. That did not make it into the letter. Instead, I gave a date for the wedding and asked King Sican to arrive a week in advance. He had come three days ago and was waiting for the proper day. I had not received him yet, but I could see him strutting confidently in camp.

The people of Şehir did not understand what was happening. They heard rumors of the letter and there were surprisingly accurate accounts of the content floating through the streets. Soyguncu had heard it on lips all over town. The entire city seemed in mourning and there were bitter lamentations about the fall of the Empire and the inevitable sack that would follow. More than anything else, there was disillusionment with me. The people had placed all their trust in the Sultanah. She had led so bravely, and now she had simply given up.

And they would have been right. I had been so close to that ultimate betrayal, that night with Nislani. But that seemed like so long ago now, four weeks later. It hardly made sense anymore. I was like I had been a different person, mad with grief. The grief was still there, but I drew strength from it. I understood the stakes better now. My shame and my anger were a part of my growth as the Sultanah. It was my final lesson, the final welding of my person into a whole. I understood that now. The people were wrong, of course, I had no intention of quitting now.

"Yes, I see them as well," I said. I could see Gunes' sun, the sun that had chosen me for my current task, blinking off of the shields of the vanguard. This was the fruit of my second letter.

This letter was largely the same as the first. The same apologizes, self-deprecation, and defeat. It included the same offer of payment and the discovery of Duke Hain's treachery, this time naming King Sican and Dusman. It event included an offer of Nislani's hand to a prince of the recipient's choice. That recipient was King Köylü of Temsilci. I had given him an exact day to arrive for the wedding. That day was today. And it appeared that he was just on time.

I should note that both letters contained something else. A warning. I explained to King Sican that King Köylü's aggression was the impetus that had finally shown me that I was not equal to the task of government. I begged King Sican to come to rescue me and, in exchange, I would give him everything he wanted. He would be my champion. I said that my spies indicated King Köylü would be attempting a siege soon, in contravention of his alliance with King Sican. I begged King Sican to come armed and ready, in case King Köylü's army was to arrive before the wedding had occurred. Lo and Behold, my warning appeared prescient. Of course, the letter to King Köylü had contained nearly identical information. Two knights in shining armor, but only one damsel in distress.