The Sun on my Skin Ch. 02

"I'll be fine. What about you? Are you okay? Are we okay?"

"Yes and... yes, we will be. Night-night and safe journey."

"Goodnight, Tina." She turns and walks away and my resolve nearly falters. No. I can do this, all of it: I can be Tina's friend and a good fiancée to Clive and, in time, a mum...

Saturday 5 September

Clive came home late this afternoon, happy that his team had, against expectations, beaten their opponents. We sit on the sofa after dinner, the room lit by the setting sun as I cuddle up to him. We start kissing and my hand slipping down, undoing the waistband of his jeans. Inside his boxer shorts, I feel his cock swell; my hand works its way through the folds of fabric and, by the time my fingers enclose his manhood, he is iron-hard.

"Do you want to go to bed?" he asks, but his voice conveys duty rather than excitement at the prospect; that the promise of love in my fingers will become a simple mating.

"No, darling," I reply, withdrawing my hand as I slide off the seat. Kneeling on the floor I reach up to tug his trousers down, taking his boxers with them. His cock springs free, the foreskin slid partially back revealing the glistening slit and ruddy skin of the glans. My right-hand grasps the shaft, pulling the foreskin back fully to allow me to kiss the revealed and sensitive head. My tongue flicks out to taste the slight salt flavour before my lips engulf him and I lower my head to begin fucking him with my mouth.

"Janice?" he asks in surprise. I look up, releasing him.

"Lie back, darling, I want to do this," I assure him. The truth is more complicated; I do want to do this, for him, to say sorry and show I love him but it is hard, knowing that he will be cumming in the wrong opening, that there will be no chance of a new life from this.

He does not last long, not surprisingly given the months I've withheld this from him. There is a jerk and a tremble in his hips, which then buck, impaling my mouth as his hot cream erupts, flooding my mouth with its thick, salty flavour. I swallow, wanting to make it special for him as I suck, milking him dry.

Spent, he lies breathing heavily as I climb back up beside him. I like to taste myself on his lips but that is not a pleasure he shares and I know better than to kiss him with a mouth bathed in his spunk. He'll want me to brush my teeth before kissing him and, even though I really need a drink to clear the dry taste of the cum, I want to hold him, to show I love him.

He begins caressing me, his hands pressing and squeezing through clothes. I feel my body respond with hardening nipples and a stirring deep within. His hand slips up under my shirt to caress my bra and the bare skin of the tops of my boobs. Twisting I half sit up so I can unhook my bra: now his hand engulfs each boob in turn, skin on skin. I tug my shirt over my head and moments later my bra is cast aside.

I feel my skirt pulled up and his hand presses the damp fabric of my panties into the now sopping cleft. I raise my bum and he takes the hint as together we tug the impeding garment down. I close my eyes as the arousal I felt last night with Tina comes pouring back to meet the excitement of fingers entering my pussy, delving with soft, wet squelching sounds.

My nipple is enclosed by warm lips that suck and knead it. I know it is Clive but I remember the brush of Tina's lips against mine, the offer of a kiss and... what would have happened if I hadn't turned away from that second kiss? Might her fingers and her lips have explored me as Clive's are? Her fingers, slipping into my dripping, wet pussy, caressing my sensitive button, not the way Clive is doing now but the way I do it to myself... I shouldn't think of her, not here and now but, with a gasping cry, my orgasm seizes me, arching my back as my pussy spasms ecstatically around her imagined fingers.

Part III -- Dreams or Happiness?

Monday 7 September

I'm into work early this morning, clear-headed and not at all bushy-eyed. I am nervous and excited, keen to see Tina and thank her for Friday's fun and good advice but a little apprehensive that she might be upset at what was, after all, my rejection of her. However, she doesn't appear to be in. Okay, it's only just past a quarter to nine so I've obviously, and unusually for recent months, arrived before her; she won't be avoiding me surely? Malcolm's not in either; is he due to be off today as well? I don't think so but I cannot remember for sure.

I make coffee, start my computer and log on: I might as well check my email and the Payroll mailbox rather than sitting and waiting and wondering.

I'm on the sixth of the thirty-something new emails in the department inbox when there's a knock at the door. I look up to see Amita, one of the receptionists from downstairs, bustle in. She is in her fifties, her tan skin and black hair showing her Indian birth, the slight chubbiness revealing that the three gym and exercise sessions per week cannot quite overcome the results her love of good food. Still, I can only hope that I look as good as she does when I'm her age.

"Good morning Janice; are you here all alone?" she asks in her slightly accented but meticulous English as she looks around.

"I'm afraid so, Amita. Who did you want to see? Tina?"

"It was, actually. I have a woman here to see her: Mrs Munroe." I see a movement behind her and stand as I recognise the name Tina mentioned last week.

"Please, not missus: I'd prefer Ms." I look over Amita's shoulder towards the voice and straight into a pair of female eyes that are, quite simply, the most stunning shade of green I've ever seen. I stare, trying to work out what their colour reminds me of, trying to snag the elusive memory. I have it: the green 'eye' of a peacock's feather, perhaps her eyes are not quite such an intense green but they share that same flecked iridescence.

I'm suddenly conscious that I've been staring, my eyes locked onto this woman's. Embarrassed, I drop my gaze hurriedly but not without noticing that she is dressed formally, wearing a medium-blue suit, the skirt finishing just above the knee, with a white blouse. The buttoned-up jacket does nothing to hide her ample bosom, indeed the ensemble serves to rather emphasise her distinctly curvaceous figure. I look up again and notice for the first time her deep auburn hair cut in a long bob, just above her shoulders and framing a pale, heart-shaped face. I try to avoid her disconcertingly vivid eyes as I manage to stammer out, "Hello, you must be, um, Tarwen Munroe?"

"Er, it's Tanwen actually. I'm due to start working here today, I am," she says shyly. With 'Munroe' as her surname, I'd expected, if anything, a Scottish accent so the musical Welsh lilt to her voice is a bit of a surprise. I look at her, trying not to be captivated again by her eyes and I can see tiredness underlying the anxiety and nervousness she exudes. Despite that, she is attractive; rested, calm and happy she must be truly lovely.

"Yes, Tina mentioned you last week," I tell her. "Please, come in." I offer my hand as Tanwen steps forward.

"Nothing too terrible, I hope," she replies with nervous humour as she shakes my hand uncertainly.

"Not at all," I assure her with a smile.

"Well, it appears that I can leave her with you, Janice," Amita says.

"Oh yes; thank you." I watch Amita turn and leave and then turn back to Ms Munroe.

"I was told to meet with Tina Roberts, so I was. Is she not here?"

"No, not yet; she must be running late. Can I get you a tea or coffee in the meantime?"

"Oh, tea would be lovely."

"Milk, sugar?"

"Milk please but no... actually, can I have one sugar? I keep trying to give up the sugar but maybe not today."

"No problem. Do you want a seat or I can show you the kitchen?" She chooses to come with me and I show her what we call the kitchen, though that's rather too grand a term to what is basically an alcove with sink, with a little fridge below a short length of worktop that has a kettle on it with jars of instant coffee, sugar and tea bags. "You can use the 'Keep Calm and Don't Panic' mug but you might want to bring your own in if you don't want your tea nicked every time we have visitors," I warn her.

"Seems appropriate enough for today," she smiles. "Thank you," she says as I hand her the tea. "So you're Janice?"

"Yes, Janice Norton; I'm Tina's colleague or, well, she's the boss. Come on, come and sit down." I lead the way back into the office. "That's Malcolm's desk so I guess you'll be using the spare desk, though the monitor got taken to replace a broken one in Accounts, next door. We'll need to speak to IT to get a replacement if Tina hasn't already done so." I can see she is still nervous and unsettled; first day nerves, I suppose. I pull a chair over so she can sit beside my desk. "Tina said you've been working one of the depots?" I pitch it as a question, just for something to say, really, and she nods. "What did you do there?

"Yes, it was..." she hesitates. "It was the Grant Road Depot; do you know it?"

"Only as a name on payslips, I'm afraid. Coming here must be a bit of a trek."

"Not really. It's about the same, maybe a little longer, but easier because I'm going the opposite way to most commuters now you see."

"That's good. What was your job there?"

"It was general admin, really: the duty rotas, keeping track of the trucks, booking hotels for when drivers had to stop away overnight..." I'm about to ask if she's been with the company for long but she exclaims quietly, "Oh, coc y gath!" I've no idea what she said but, from the sound and tone, I'll bet twenty quid that it was in Welsh and rude. "Okay, I suppose I'll need to tell people sometime, so I will. Ted, my husb... my... what's the word for him when your marriage has all turned to rat poo?"

I'm tempted to suggest 'complete bastard'. "Um, estranged?" I offer instead.

"That's it, and bloody estranged he is! Well, my estranged and soon-to-be-ex-husband is a driver for the company and he's based at Grant Road too." I guess these are the 'personal circumstances' that Tina mentioned.

"Ah, I see; awkward." I'm not sure what else I can say as I don't want to pry.

"You could say that," she concedes with a grimace. "What was worse was that the other drivers seemed to take Ted's side; made it clear that they thought I'd been a complete cow for throwing him out, so they did! Twelve and a half years we've been married and it turns out he'd been sleeping with at least two women when he stayed overnight on stopovers; one would have been bad enough, but two! That was obviously why he was always so keen to do the Leicester and the Plymouth runs: he had women in both places, so he did, the... bastard."

The pain on her face prevents any flippant reply that at least it wasn't both woman at the same time and I realize that she probably booked the hotels for her husband, rooms in which he perhaps spent the night with his lovers. "Ouch" I murmur and she nods as I reach out and lay a comforting hand on hers. "Tanwen, don't worry, we'll be on your side." She turns and looks out of the window, her mouth pursed and her profile triggers a memory. "You have children don't you?" I have a vague recollection of someone like her with two kids at the company's Family Barbecue back in June, one I attended without Clive and out of a sense of duty more than interest.

"Yes, three: Jake, Eryn and Tilly. Tilly's only two; that's why I finish at three o'clock, so I can pick her up from the nursery at a reasonable time. I hate leaving her, but what can I do?"

"That makes sense. How old are the other two?" I ask. I want to get to know her but also to make her feel welcome and parents always like talking about their kids, I've found. Maybe I also want to know what being a Mum is really like.

"Oh, Jake's thirteen and Eryn's twelve, so she is, though for two weeks every year they're the same age in years," she smiles for the first time, possibly at the look on my face as I try to work this out.

"So... Eryn will be thirteen two weeks before Jake is fourteen, right?" She nods. "Wow, you didn't hang around!" I mutter and, unfortunately, she hears. "Sorry, I shouldn't..."

"No, don't worry. Anyway, you're right, though we didn't plan it that way either, you understand, but we were so in love..." there's a catch in her voice and before I can say more there are tears glistening on her cheeks. Now I feel really guilty for my comment, as I reach to take a tissue for her from the box on the side of my desk. It seems that the tissue is also a mistake and I catch another brief glimpse of the peacock green of her eyes before they close and she starts to sob. I lean toward her and reach across the back of her shoulders, trying to comfort her as she hunches forward. I hold her gently and make sympathetic, soothing noises.

"Sorry," she says after a while, wiping her nose and eyes. I hold the box out to her and she nods her thanks. "It's all been so horrible, getting worse for a long time now... and splitting up... just horrible it was." She sits up, pulling away from me. "Thanks," she adds.

"That was my fault, I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to comment on your family," I tell her.

"Thank you, but it isn't your fault it's Ted's," she replies, a hardness and determination now creeping into her voice. "He was the one who decided to have the affairs, wasn't he? Anyway, you're right, we didn't hang around," she gives a little snort, "and now neither has he." The catch is back in her voice and her green eyes glisten again but when I reach for her hand to comfort her she shakes her head. "No, I can do this; I must."

"Tanwen, if there's anything I can do to help, please just ask me." Before she can reply, Tina's voice interrupts.

"I'm so sorry Tanwen, the bus broke down and it was a twenty-minute wait for the next one. I see Janice has been looking after you... oh, are you alright?" She sees Tanwen's tear-reddened eyes and puffy face for the first time and shoots me a disapproving look that Tanwen notices.

"Oh, she has," she reassures Tina. "I'm afraid I've been pouring my woes out on poor Janice here, so I have. She's been very good." I'm not sure I recognise myself in her description but it's sweet of her to be so forgiving of my careless comments.

"Okay, that's good. Well, we'd better get sorted: will you come through into my office Tanwen? Janice, would you be lovely and make me a coffee and a drink for Tanwen?"

"Sure. Same again Tanwen?" She nods and I watch as she follows Tina. She has a nice bum too, rounder than Tina's but...my god, I cannot believe I just thought that; what the fuck has got into me? Right, a tea, white with one sugar and a coffee, black, with two.

I receive a touching smile of gratitude from Tanwen as I hand her the tea and a 'Thanks, Janice' from Tina that tells me nothing of how she's feeling about Saturday. This leaves me slightly on edge as I return to my desk. However, Malcolm's flustered arrival with apologies for his lateness and his explanation of how he underestimated the journey from his new house distract me.

"Didn't you check the route online? There are several map sites that do route planning; you know Google Maps and the like." He looks at me a little defiantly.

"The 'London A-to-Z' roadmap has always done me well enough in the past. Why does everything have to be done via the Interweb these days?" he complains. "Anyway, you're hardly a model of punctuality." Ouch! Still, he has a point.

"Touchez!" I concede as he heads off to make his tea. I glance across at Jojo's desk -- Tanwen's desk now, of course -- and pick up the phone to call IT to sort out a replacement monitor.

It's the best part of an hour later that Tina and Tanwen emerge and by the looks of Tanwen's face I suspect a few more tears have been shed. "They're down the corridor on the right," Tina tells her, gesturing towards, I assume, the toilets. As Tanwen leaves, Tina comes to me, bending over my desk with her back to Malcolm.

"Tina, about Saturday," I whisper, not wanting Malcolm to hear "I just..."

"Shhh," she replies, equally quietly, "we'll talk later." I cannot help the feeling of panic, which must show on my face. "It's okay, Jan, really." She stops whispering to continue, "Now, with Tanwen, can I make you responsible for training her? She seems to have good IT skills so it's mainly the StaffPay payroll application and the department processes she'll need to be shown."

"Okay, no problem. She seems very nice -- if a bit fragile at the moment."

"Hmm, fragile is definitely the word. Oh, and can you call IT and request a new monitor for her PC and a login to StaffPay?"

"I've already put the call in for the monitor," I reply a little smugly, "But I'll sort out the login too. Do I need to check they know she's here in Payroll?"

"They should do but, yes, best to check." She pats my hand as she turns to go and I wonder what that signifies.

When she returns I introduce Tanwen to Malcolm. She has obviously taken some time to tidy herself up because, though she still has the tired and rather harried look she had when she arrived, she no longer appears upset. With introductions over we move chairs so she can sit beside me as I prepare the show her some of the basics. "Tina said you're good with computers."

"Um, well, I told Tina about how I sorted out keeping lots of the information at the depot on spreadsheets rather than on paper, which made it easier to update and check."

"Very impressive." She gives a shy smile.

"Ah, well, it may be that I didn't say as much as I might have," she confesses. "I had the idea, so I did, but, er, it was our Jake that actually did it. Bit of a whizz on the old computer, so he is." I can't help smiling.

"Tanwen, you really didn't need to tell me that last bit: you had the idea and, what shall I say? You delegated the implementation; that's positively managerial, that is!" She smiles back, a proper, happy smile.

"I'll have to remember that line, so I will. It didn't come cheap though: it cost me a pizza meal out and a PlayStation game it did. It felt like I was sub-contracting the work."

"He's obviously a bright lad. Just be glad he doesn't know what IT consultants really charge: it would have been a whole PlayStation and a small banquet!"

The rest of the morning passes quickly and happily enough as I take Tanwen through the basics. She's a good student, quick on the uptake and conscientious, even taking out a new notebook she has in her handbag to jot down cribs and reminders. I might have to keep an eye on this one or she'll be putting me to shame!

Lunchtime, and though I really, really want to talk to Tina I feel it would be wrong to simply leave Tanwen to fend for herself. Tina evidently feels the same. "Tanwen, what do you normally do for lunch?" she asks. "I wondered if you might need showing the less disreputable sandwich shops and food outlets in the area?"

"I was going to ask the same thing, though with perhaps a less negative spin on the local food vendors!" I smile.

"Thank you, both of you. I usually bring lunch but I didn't because I wasn't sure today, you know, about what it would be like here."

"And what is it like here?" Tina asks as we make our way out of the office.

"I think it'll be okay."

I do not get to speak to Tina until after Tanwen leaves at three. I know it won't be ideal but I'm desperate to talk about Friday and I figure Malcolm won't think it strange if I go into Tina's office; after all, I have to update Tina on how Tanwen got on, don't I?

I push the door, leaving it slightly ajar so Malcolm doesn't have cause to wonder what's going on, and sit in the seat opposite her. "Hi there," I say.

"Hi yourself." She looks up from the paper she's reading. "Jan, I did mean it when I said it was all fine. Okay, maybe it didn't go the way I'd hoped at the end... I guess I came on a bit too quickly at the end but I thought, you know..."